"Agnostic's'" first time at mass

[jnderose]

Okay, not sure where to post this or how to state it but…

My wife agreed to go to Mass with me next week and of course I want to make sure that everything goes well and smoothly. She is not going because she wants to but because she knows I would like her too, so I want it to have a positive impact on her even if she doesn;t necessarily understand and enjoy it. She was raised Lutheran a little bit, but is a non-religious "agnostic type now. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to make the experience better for her without making her feel uncomfortable. I really don’t know what I am asking here but I am sure the well experienced folks on this forum can help, thank you in advance.

 

[shirleytowers]

Make it an upbeat experience by you yourself being happy and upbeat about the whole thing, at mass, and after.

I have an 11 year old daughter who is bipolar and hates crowds and church gives her asthma attacks so I have some experience with getting a reluctant to church.

After Mass we all go to get a donut or out to breakfast or for some kind of treat. Sometimes we go shopping after. I give her religious cards after or before, as well, pretty ones. I smile at her a lot and am cheery getting ready and at Mass and after. We talk about the Mass afterward, about anything funny or interesting we saw or heard, etc.

Good luck. I know giving your wife a pretty card with an angel all gilt and golden isn’t going to sell her on the Church, but you oughta take her to breakfast or at least Starbucks afterward. It is psychological, associate it with rewards and relationships. Because the reward is great! and the relationship is awesome!

 

[awfulthings9]

Make sure she knows how to follow along by finding the outline of the mass in your missal. Or find an outline online and print it out. Make sure you’re singing and that she has a copy of the songbook. If you can find a brief explanation of the parts of the mass (explaining their significance) online or at your Catholic bookstore, give that to her ahead of time. Sit near the front. If your mass does any of the prayers in Latin, make sure she has the words so she can follow along. Introduce her to others afterward so she feels welcomed into the community. After the mass, give her a copy of Scott Hahn’s The Lamb’s Supper.

I don’t know, those were off the top of my head.

 

[Divine_mercy]

I completely agree with the idea of getting a Missal but I would add to that go though it with her briefly before Mass and read the reading together before Mass. This hopefully will make her more comfortable, knowing when to kneel and stand, and especially when you will be going to Communion and what she should do.

You can find the reading at:

usccb.org/nab/012807.shtml

Thank God for your efforts,

Divine_Mercy
​

Always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you (1 Peter 3:15)

 

[ricmat]

IMHO,

1. Tell her ahead of time that she will probably see a wide variety of people, including people who don’t act very reverential - just so she isn’t surprised.
2. Let her know that we go to Mass not to get something out of it, but to put something into it. Therefore, don’t judge the Mass by the “entertainment value.”
3. Explain the basic outline of “Liturgy of the Word” and “Liturgy of the Eucharist.” Further explain that the Liturgy of the Eucharist has 2 basic elements - firstly to bring Christ to us in the flesh both for worship and grace, and secondly, to offer the body of Christ back to the Father as a perfect sacrifice (done as a re-presentation of the original Last Supper and Crucifixion, not as yet another sacrifice).
4. Explain the need to genuflect when taking your seat (real presence / tabernacle). Explain the sitting, standing, kneeling cycle and the kiss of peace, and NOT to say amen after the Our Father, and what to do at communion. All this just to make her feel more comfortable and not be embarassed by doing the wrong thing.
5. I think I’d concentrate on the above, then save “following along in the misalette” for next week

 

[kage_ar]

Agree with those above, with one change - take her to a nice lunch AFTER you take her to the Parish Hall for coffee/donuts and some fellowship:thumbsup:

 

[tptram]

also A walk through the Mass

Tak

 

[puzzleannie]

don’t take her to a Life Teen Mass first time out. also don’t take her on Stewardship Sunday, which will be the $ talk.

 

[maryjk]

1. Explain the need to genuflect when taking your seat (real presence / tabernacle). Explain the sitting, standing, kneeling cycle and the kiss of peace, and NOT to say amen after the Our Father, and what to do at communion. All this just to make her feel more comfortable and not be embarassed by doing the wrong thing.

Also let her know that since she is not Catholic, she does not need to genuflect when taking her seat, but that you will. And explain why. Same with the kneeling. As a non-Catholic, let her know that she doesn’t have to kneel, but if she doesn’t that people behind her will be and to scoot forward in her seat.

When my non-Catholic husband came to Mass the first time, he wasn’t worried about fitting in as much as worried about “having” to do things. So make sure that she knows that she doesn’t have to do the “Catholic” things.