Aknowledgment of miscarried foetuses

[finoola]

Please could someone explain how it is that the Catholic Chuch does not object to miscarried foetuses being flushed down the sluice and does not seek to aknowledge the transient existence of that spirit/creation of God’s ?

 

[jmjconder]

Please could someone explain how it is that the Catholic Chuch does not object to miscarried foetuses being flushed down the sluice and does not seek to aknowledge the transient existence of that spirit/creation of God’s ?

**Welcome to this forum.

I am not sure your initial question is an accurate statement about the Catholic Church. Please tell me where you learned this.**

 

[anruari]

Just because something has been done, does not mean it was condoned.

In the case of very early miscarriages it may be that it is difficult to identify or capture the tiny human remains for proper burial. However in the case of mid to late term miscarriages or still births, then the baby’s body is easily recoverable and should be treated with the respect it deserves - including holding a proper funeral.

That’s my understanding at least.

 

[Allegra]

Please could someone explain how it is that the Catholic Chuch does not object to miscarried foetuses being flushed down the sluice and does not seek to aknowledge the transient existence of that spirit/creation of God’s ?

Oooh! Pick me! I know! The Catholic Church does object to that and does acknowledge the existance of miscarried babies. I’ve attended two funerals for a miscarried child. You are incorrect that this is a teaching of the Church.

 

[Bonnie]

But when I miscarried 26 years ago, I was not allowed a funeral mass. We buried the baby on our own property and when we moved, dug her up and reburied her here.

There was no comfort from the Church. I remember the DRE telling me, “You’ll get over it.” Nope. Never have.

 

[1ke]

But when I miscarried 26 years ago, I was not allowed a funeral mass.

While ecclesiastical funerals are primarily for the baptized, a funeral mass for an infant who dies before baptism can be permitted (Can 1183). I am sorry that you were told it could not.

We buried the baby on our own property and when we moved, dug her up and reburied her here.

Whether or not one has a funeral Mass, there is no reason that a child cannot be buried in the cemetery. Not sure why you buried the baby on your own property.

There was no comfort from the Church. I remember the DRE telling me, “You’ll get over it.” Nope. Never have.

I am sorry that this person’s unthoughtful words were so hurtful. I am sure it was a very difficult time for you.

 

[maryjk]

But when I miscarried 26 years ago, I was not allowed a funeral mass. We buried the baby on our own property and when we moved, dug her up and reburied her here.

There was no comfort from the Church.** I remember the DRE telling me,** “You’ll get over it.” Nope. Never have.

One comment from a DRE does not a Catholic policy make.

Of course you haven’t “gotten over it.” You lost your child.

 

[1ke]

Please could someone explain how it is that the Catholic Chuch does not object to miscarried foetuses being flushed down the sluice and does not seek to aknowledge the transient existence of that spirit/creation of God’s ?

Please can you explain where you got this idea?

 

[jmjconder]

But when I miscarried 26 years ago, I was not allowed a funeral mass. We buried the baby on our own property and when we moved, dug her up and reburied her here.

There was no comfort from the Church. I remember the DRE telling me, “You’ll get over it.” Nope. Never have.

But when I miscarried 26 years ago, I was not allowed a funeral mass. We buried the baby on our own property and when we moved, dug her up and reburied her here.

There was no comfort from the Church. I remember the DRE telling me, “You’ll get over it.” Nope. Never have.

26 years ago is whole other time in the medical world and the Church

I had two stillbirths in years you refer to and the medical community “disposed” of my babies. In those years babies that were lost - often were not seen as a life. Yes I had many people say “It is for the best” and other common phrases.

Now many Catholics hold life in a way that is far different from years ago.

Every life is precious. If a woman has been told to go home to miscarry and just flush…put a piece of cheese cloth over the toilet every time you urinate…urine will pass and the baby will be cradled.

 

[10gr8kids]

But when I miscarried 26 years ago, I was not allowed a funeral mass. We buried the baby on our own property and when we moved, dug her up and reburied her here.

There was no comfort from the Church. I remember the DRE telling me, “You’ll get over it.” Nope. Never have.

I have lost 8 babies due to miscarriages, we never had a funeral Mass either. My babies are buried here on our property too. I lost mine at home, but one of them I had to go to the ER because a peice of the placenta wasn’t coming loose. I was at a Catholic hospital and someone came to talk to me about burying the baby at the Catholic Cemetary. So I guess that option is out there, but I didn’t know about it at the time of my other miscarriages. I wanted to bury my baby with the others, so that’s what we did. I’ve seen in my church bulletin, that they are now doing blessings for babies in the womb. I wish this was something that they had been talking about during my childbearing years.

I have never gotten over the loss of my children either. For a mother, her baby is real and she loves him/her the minute she knows of him/her in the womb. To everyone else, the child is still a dream until they’re born. At least that’s how it seems to me. Which is understandable, that is the way God made us to bond with our baby before they’re born.

 

[Bonnie]

One comment from a DRE does not a Catholic policy make.

Of course you haven’t “gotten over it.” You lost your child.

That particular woman was in charge of the parish - she ran everything. And I was relatively new as a Catholic. Our priest was nice, but after all these years I don’t even remember talking with him about the miscarriage. I was so emotional at the time, as well as physically exhausted, my husband was “taking care” of everything. But I did stop him from flushing my baby down the toilet.

We hadn’t been married a year at that time, but the incident put a major rift between us that has not yet healed.

 

[Bonnie]

I have never gotten over the loss of my children either. For a mother, her baby is real and she loves him/her the minute she knows of him/her in the womb. To everyone else, the child is still a dream until they’re born. At least that’s how it seems to me. Which is understandable, that is the way God made us to bond with our baby before they’re born.

Thank you. That’s a lovely way to look at it.

 

[finoola]

**Welcome to this forum.

I am not sure your initial question is an accurate statement about the Catholic Church. Please tell me where you learned this.**

I am a cradle Catholic and have been a nurse in A&E for 7 years and have had 3 miscarriages. I know a specialist nurse is employed to care for mothers of miscarried babies, but have never come across any (name removed by moderator)ut from the Church…so when I lost a baby at 11 weeks, and was shown the foetus, I had no information in those few minutes to object to the usual practise of flushing the foetus away…and as a young A&E nurse have probably done the same myself. I have never heard anything that objects to that from the Church nor heard anything that acknowledges the sanctity of that foetus, until I made my own investigations. I am now in the process of organising a small plaque in our Church where bereaved parents will be aware their lost life is acknowledged as God’s work and place a flower; and others , knowing of its existence may realise ,if they too suddenly find themselves in that situation, that early creation, although God chose to take it SO early,is sacred…and an anonymous departure of the body via a sluice neednt be the way to do things. I now know there are infrequent Masses for parents of miscarriages in some Churches.

 

[finoola]

Oooh! Pick me! I know! The Catholic Church does object to that and does acknowledge the existance of miscarried babies. I’ve attended two funerals for a miscarried child. You are incorrect that this is a teaching of the Church.

I never said this is a teaching of the Church.
I don’t think young pregnant women are aware of the Church’s objection , when the loss happens without warning.
I practise my faith, pay attention to Scripture, but never heard diddly-squat on the issue until it was too late. Nor did I want to talk about it and spread my misery.
I am now arranging for a memorial plaque for unborn children in the Lady chapel of our Church.

 

[finoola]

But when I miscarried 26 years ago, I was not allowed a funeral mass. We buried the baby on our own property and when we moved, dug her up and reburied her here.

There was no comfort from the Church. I remember the DRE telling me, “You’ll get over it.” Nope. Never have.

I’m so sorry. I would have been hurt and dissappointed by such a reaction; which is probably one reason I didn’t choose to talk about it. I hope your hurt at the unkindness heals.
Indeed, I now know of Cannon Law1183 which states ‘The local ordinary can permit children to be given ecclesiastical funeral rites if their parents intended to bapize them but they died before baptism’ ; which replaces the C.L. of 1917-1983 which forbids such a burial. Your Priest was 4 years behind.
Apart from the sadness of your situation,this doesnt sit happily alongside the hype given to the sancity of unborn children in pro-life anti-abortion efforts.
I wish you well.

 

[Bonnie]

I wish you well.

Thank you. And thank you, too, for starting this thread. It’s been a reminder to me to pray for all mothers who have miscarried. I think sometimes we get forgotten with so much concern (which should not be less) given to aborted children.

 

[jmjconder]

I am a cradle Catholic and have been a nurse in A&E for 7 years and have had 3 miscarriages. I know a specialist nurse is employed to care for mothers of miscarried babies, but have never come across any (name removed by moderator)ut from the Church…so when I lost a baby at 11 weeks, and was shown the foetus, I had no information in those few minutes to object to the usual practise of flushing the foetus away…and as a young A&E nurse have probably done the same myself. I have never heard anything that objects to that from the Church nor heard anything that acknowledges the sanctity of that foetus, until I made my own investigations. I am now in the process of organising a small plaque in our Church where bereaved parents will be aware their lost life is acknowledged as God’s work and place a flower; and others , knowing of its existence may realise ,if they too suddenly find themselves in that situation, that early creation, although God chose to take it SO early,is sacred…and an anonymous departure of the body via a sluice neednt be the way to do things. I now know there are infrequent Masses for parents of miscarriages in some Churches.

How beautiful of a Mother you are! I know of one parish that has begun a yearly Mass for all the lost pre-born babies. All the Moms and Dads place a dove on a tree for the lost baby and the Mass is celebrated for all the lil souls that are now in heaven. It gave me great consolation - since I had two stillbirths and three miscarriages…and the medical community at the time never gave my babies any honor or respect. Still grieve.