Al Anon

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Has anyone been to al anon? What happens there and did you like it? What was good or bad about it? Would you recommend it?
 
marybee said:
Has anyone been to al anon? What happens there and did you like it? What was good or bad about it? Would you recommend it?
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It’s a wonderful organization for helping educate people on how to live with the alcoholic in their lives. They teach you the do’s and don’ts on how to love someone whose primary love affair seems to be with alcohol. It also helps family members put their focus back on themselves.

The downside, in my experience, is that folks who stay in alanon for years and years sometimes find themselves stuck in a “victim” mentality. As with all support groups, if you haven’t outgrown them at some point, then they are not doing their job!
 
blessedtoo said:
It’s a wonderful organization for helping educate people on how to live with the alcoholic in their lives. They teach you the do’s and don’ts on how to love someone whose primary love affair seems to be with alcohol. It also helps family members put their focus back on themselves.

The downside, in my experience, is that folks who stay in alanon for years and years sometimes find themselves stuck in a “victim” mentality. As with all support groups, if you haven’t outgrown them at some point, then they are not doing their job!
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So do they all just share personal stories? Or do they just say Do this…Don’t do that…etc.?
 
I went to one meeting. It was OK, a little awkward. It does feel good to finally talk open about problems like alcoholism in a loved one, especially if you have been keeping your worries to yourself for a long time. I haven’t continued to go though because the alcoholic is no longer in my life (I divorced him) and alcoholism really wasn’t the biggest issue effecting my life, domestic violence was. One thing about Al-Anon, they only allow you to be there for support on alcoholism. Their structure does not allow for support on DV, mental illness, or any other addiction.

I have heard from other people though that not all Al-Anon groups are the same. If you go to one and it doesn’t seem right, try another one.
 
marybee said:
So do they all just share personal stories? Or do they just say Do this…Don’t do that…etc.?
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Twelve step groups do not give advice exactly. When you find a sponsor, he or she may be able to share personal experiences that will help you make good, healthy decisions. But in general, it’s through the sharing of personal stories that one gathers information about how best to handle their particular situations.

And to echo another poster, you do sometimes have to “shop around” to find a good group that fits you.
 
blessedtoo said:
Twelve step groups do not give advice exactly. When you find a sponsor, he or she may be able to share personal experiences that will help you make good, healthy decisions. But in general, it’s through the sharing of personal stories that one gathers information about how best to handle their particular situations.

And to echo another poster, you do sometimes have to “shop around” to find a good group that fits you.
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yep and many of them use the book “courage to change” to help lead the discussions
 
You might want to check out Celebrate Recovery
For a location near you celebraterecovery.com/global.shtml
Just like Al-anon not all CR groups are the same, most are at protestant churchs, but most are open to people of all faiths and concentrate on recovery not converting. I attend one that many faithful Catholics also attend.
Celebrate Recovery is a Christ-centered recovery program designed to help people address a variety of hurts, habits, and hang-ups. Our weekly format includes worship, teaching and personal recovery experiences, and small group interaction.
Celebrate Recovery provides a safe environment for real life change in Jesus Christ, as participants personally work through specific biblically-based recovery steps in the context of Christian community. We recognize the truth that we need each other to grow personally and spiritually.
We open the door to recovery by sharing our experiences, strength and hope with one another. This leads to a greater capacity for accepting God’s grace and movement in our lives as we are working through our issues.
The recovery process enables us to move towards greater freedom from addictive, compulsive and dysfunctional behaviors. The freedom creates peace, serenity, joy, and, most importantly, a stronger personal relationship with God and others.
If all your pursuits to find life and ease your pain have led to more pain and emptiness, maybe it is time to consider something else. Join us, as together, we pursue real live in Jesus Christ and celebrate the recovery only He can bring through His people and His Word.
Things We ARE
• A safe place to share
• A refuge
• A place of belonging
• A place to care for others and be cared for
• A place where respect is given to each member
• A place where confidentiality is highly regarded
• A place to learn
• A place to grow and become strong again
• A place where you can take off your mask
• A place for healthy challenges and healthy risks
• A possible turning point in your life
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Areas of recovery - small groups focus - gender specific
Abuse - Twelve Steps for Abused Women
ACA - Adult Children of Chemically Addicted
Men’s groups and women’s groups
Anger - Men / Anger - Women
Chemically Dependent Men’s groups and women’s groups
Codependent Men’s groups and women’s groups
Codependent Women
Codependent Women in a Relationship with Sexually Addicted Men
Eating Disorders Women’s group
Food Addiction - Women
Love & Relationship Addiction Women’s group
Sexual Addiction - Men
Sexual Addiction - Women
Sexual/Physical/Emotional Abuse Women’s group
 
One thing I don’t like about Alanon is that it seems pro-divorce. Have others found that or is that just the groups around me?
 
StMonicaPray said:
One thing I don’t like about Alanon is that it seems pro-divorce. Have others found that or is that just the groups around me?
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Welcome to CAF! One thing you should know is that the moderators have asked that people not drag up old posts. If you look at the original date of the post, at the top you will see it is from 2007. You should look for something current, or if you are interested in the topic, start a thread of your own. MayGod bless you and guide you. 🙂
 
I attended Alanon for a while, and endorse it wholeheartedly.

Yes, meetings can vary. To start, you could find a 12 step meeting because it should be based on its foundation, which are the same 12 steps of AA.

Alanon starts with a belief in God (though they call God “Higher Power”), and accepting we are not God. It is widely thought that the 12 steps are based on the spiritual exercises of St. Ignatius, and the theological and moral roots are really obvious. If you find a meeting that sticks to the tradition, you will probably be comfortable there.

Alanon is for anyone affected by someone else’s alcoholism in any way.
 
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