Alcohol and Children

[Allegra]

Some people can drink responsibly apparently, but why on Earth take that chance with your children?!?? You may as well hand a six year old a revolver loaded with a single round, tell him to spin the cylinder, put the barrel to his temple and pull the trigger. Then tell him to pass it to his sister and repeat the process. Anybody with even the slightest experience of the real world would understand that introducing a child to alcohol is akin to inviting Satan into his or her life. You’d be opening a door with absolutely no foreknowledge of what’s on the other side. And yes, I do know what I’m talking about, because when I was a child, some friendly foreign college students whose care I was in decided that it would be amusing to have a ten year old drinking buddy. And I took to it like a fish takes to water, because I was an overly sensitive and withdrawn, distant child, and alcohol completely changed that. Which of course I took great delight in. In my experience, no one, not even a parent, knows whether a child is going to be susceptiple to uncontrolled fun with alcohol or not. Seems to me they’d have to be a pretty lifeless kid to not enjoy it profoundly. So it’s like your gambling that your child doesn’t possess a sense a fun or have a curious nature, which is callously insulting on top of everything else. I thought that it was better than a ride at Disneyland, personally, and even at that early age I was able to drink college kids under the table. Which kids find extremely funny, and of course they have no idea what it may to do their lives. So, no offense, but you’d have to be certifiable to raise your children that way. To be frank, severly beating them with coat hangers and starving them might be less harmful to them in the long run.

Seriously? Having a reasonable portion of wine with dinner or an eggnog on Christmas Eve is NOT the same as having college kids pump you until you’re drunk. Where does this end? Are you going to withhold the Eucharist from your children? Are they banned from cough medicine? No coq au vin in your household? Your extreme view that a sip of wine is worse than being beaten with coat-hangers is so far beyond reality that it’s exactly the kind of thing that other posters are talking about. Any sane, reasonably intelligent young person is going to see that a drink of alcohol is not worse than being beaten or starved or the same as possibly being shot to death. The fact that you are saying that it is makes you lose all credibility on the subject. On the other hand, if parents teach children that there is such a thing as too much and in the case of alcohol, too much can cause inebriation and possibly addiction, but a reasonable amount is okay with meals and on special occasions once you are old enough, well that’s going to make a lot more sense. (because it’s objectively the truth) Which kids are more likely to experiment with unsafe levels of alcohol? The ones who were taught moderation or the ones who were taught extremeness?

 

[EasterJoy]

Seriously? Having a reasonable portion of wine with dinner or an eggnog on Christmas Eve is NOT the same as having college kids pump you until you’re drunk. Where does this end? Are you going to withhold the Eucharist from your children? Are they banned from cough medicine? No coq au vin in your household? Your extreme view that a sip of wine is worse than being beaten with coat-hangers is so far beyond reality that it’s exactly the kind of thing that other posters are talking about. Any sane, reasonably intelligent young person is going to see that a drink of alcohol is not worse than being beaten or starved or the same as possibly being shot to death. The fact that you are saying that it is makes you lose all credibility on the subject. On the other hand, if parents teach children that there is such a thing as too much and in the case of alcohol, too much can cause inebriation and possibly addiction, but a reasonable amount is okay with meals and on special occasions once you are old enough, well that’s going to make a lot more sense. (because it’s objectively the truth) Which kids are more likely to experiment with unsafe levels of alcohol? The ones who were taught moderation or the ones who were taught extremeness?

My mother was approached by someone at church who was very anti-alcohol. She pointed out that Our Lord made something over 120 gallons of wine (6 jars, 20-30 gallons each, filled to the brim with water, as directed) for consumption by a crowd that had already run the hosts out of wine. One would imagine the wedding was far better-attended than the host ever imagined it would be, but that is not a “ceremonial” amount of wine. It was an amount so everyone could be served without running out. (Drinking to drunkenness is not something orthodox Jews have historically had a lot of problems with. They have historically tended to be very responsible drinkers, not a bunch of drunks.)

 

[smallcat]

Sure do. My husband and I drink a glass of wine a few times a week but on birthdays, holidays, etc. I will often give my kids a small amount of the wine or beer I’m drinking to have in their own glass.

 

[Melissa]

I have gone with teaching moderate, sensible behavior. Wine, on special occasions, watered down (the amount of watering depending on the age). And my rock-bottom message: alcohol is to be paired with food. Some foods go better with beer (burgers, brats, other outdoor picnic fare, as a general category). Other food goes with wine, Cocktails (not introduced to the children) go with little appetizer bites.

Drunkenness—no, that should never happen. A single drink with a meal will not lead to intoxication. If drinking so quickly that a buzz starts to develop, that is a sign to switch to water and eat some more food.

This is what I have taught/am teaching my children who are now 23, 19, and 16 (twins).

 

[ConfusedLucy]

I was always allowed to try my parents alcohol growing up, the most memorable time was my granddad allowing me to try whisky with no warning as to what it felt like thought I had drunk acid!

In my experience most of my UK peers have seen parents or other family members drunk growing up, its not a huge taboo and as long as the child is under the supervision of a responsible adult I don’t think its that big a deal for them to witness a drunk adult. You just explain it to them in age appropriate language if necessary, eg. “Daddy was very naughty last night so today he is poorly”, I don’t think it does kids any hard to learn that grown ups are sometimes naughty or suffer consequences for bad habits.

I think its important when kids go off to university they are taught safety regarding this, there were a few occasions where we had to put someone to bed in the recovery positon and keep an eye on them and its important to be aware of the risks of blacking out and not remembering what’s happened.

As an adult I don’t drink except on special occasions like champagne at a wedding or mulled wine at Christmas.

 

[EasterJoy]

I was always allowed to try my parents alcohol growing up, the most memorable time was my granddad allowing me to try whisky with no warning as to what it felt like thought I had drunk acid!

In my experience most of my UK peers have seen parents or other family members drunk growing up, its not a huge taboo and as long as the child is under the supervision of a responsible adult I don’t think its that big a deal for them to witness a drunk adult. You just explain it to them in age appropriate language if necessary, eg. “Daddy was very naughty last night so today he is poorly”, I don’t think it does kids any hard to learn that grown ups are sometimes naughty or suffer consequences for bad habits.

I think its important when kids go off to university they are taught safety regarding this, there were a few occasions where we had to put someone to bed in the recovery positon and keep an eye on them and its important to be aware of the risks of blacking out and not remembering what’s happened.

As an adult I don’t drink except on special occasions like champagne at a wedding or mulled wine at Christmas.

Children are going to see adults doing things they shouldn’t. This is a vale of tears; that will happen. It is better when they don’t. Letting them see that Dad pays some nasty consequences when he’s been “naughty” is different than letting children see their parents acting in a way that is shameful or out of control. That can be really scary for them, for good reason. Adults who drink too much really cannot be trusted to act appropriately around children, not even their own.

I mean: It is bad enough to get drunk and let on to your child that you did. Frankly, I think that is better than lying and telling them you are “sick” when you are hung over because you used bad judgment. (They will catch on to that, anyway.) Letting children, especially young children, endure the sight of parents who are breaking their trust is something else again…and yes, you ought to be able to trust that your parents won’t get drunk when they ought to have been taking care of you and showing you how your ought to act when you grow up.

There is also the problem that modelling drunkenness as an adult risks glamorizing evil to a child, and an evil that could take over their lives. That is very irresponsible.

 

[ConfusedLucy]

Seeing dad dancing badly at your uncle’s wedding reception after having one too many is hardly a vale of tears, maybe a bit embarrassing for an older child or teen but it’s not traumatic. All kids have to accept that their parents (and adults in general) are imperfect people, its an inevitable part of growing up.

Age appropriate language isn’t lying, personally if I had a small child and my husband had a hangover I would probably tell them it’s a bit like when you eat too many sweets and then feel really sick afterwards as that is something the child could understand.

I don’t think telling kids that alcohol is evil is the way to go, we need to give our young people honest information about the health effects of alcohol on the body, the risks of excessive drinking medical or otherwise, the fact that it affects different people differently, that you should never drink and drive and safety/first aid advice in the event that they are dealing with a hangover or a drunk friend. The culture in the UK is rather blasé about some of this but you can go too far the other way.

 

[CradleJourney]

Never occurred to me to give my children alcohol

Then again - we don’t give them coffee and soda/soft drinks are a very rare treat.

In other words - drinks that contain things that may be misused to create harm to ones body are limited, with soft drinks being allowed on special occasions, coffee/alcohol are reserved for adults.

As adults, hubby drinks one mug of coffee a day and we drink, maybe, 4 - 8 beers a year (if that much).

Had three kids go to college so far and although the two oldest drink more than we do, they’ve never had a problem.

Honestly it’s never been a big deal here. Just about everything in our kids lives we’ve based access on by their age/maturity level - alcohol just happens to be the “last” one reached at the legal age of 21. (Exception of course being the wine at mass which for us would be considered a completely different topic - they’ve had the option of taking the Precious Blood from the time they make their first communion onwards.)

I don’t particularly have a problem with those who give their kids a little wine with dinner - I just don’t see the point as we don’t drink wine with dinner either.

 

[Sarcelle]

My oldest is 15, he has an injury to his cerebellum, so alcohol use for him is not recommended because it would exasperate his symptoms. My other 2 are still pretty young that it hasn’t come up.

But I growing up, I always had some form of alcohol, be it some wine mixed with ginger ale about a teaspoon of wine to about 6 ounces of soda, or a sip of beer from my dad, or to champagne on New Years.

I didn’t abuse alcohol in high school or college when many of my peers were drinking to excess. I have an occasional glass of wine or ale. Or limoncello.

I drank wine, like red or white wine as a child. We drank it at family dinners.

I also did not abuse alcohol in college unlike many of my peers, who grew up in teetotaling households.

To me, wine was always paired with food, not something to drink yourself into oblivion.

I first drank my favorite wine, a red wine from Sicily, when I was 12, during a family party and this wine was also used by the parish priest, who was a family friend and from Sicily, as part of my first Communion.

To this day, this red wine is my favorite.