Alcohol at church functions - ok or not?

[Miriam1947]

That’s interesting.

I’ve been a teetotaller since birth, and so is my entire family.

A lot of people say that it’s possible to drink without drunkenness.

Well, that’s true. Certainly most people would not get drunk on one or two drinks.

But that doesn’t mean that they are unaffected by alcohol.

I can see changes in the behavior, even when people are just drinking a glass of wine or one beer. The behavioral changes are very small and subtle, but they make me uncomfortable because the person is different than the person that I normally am acquainted with. The kinds of conversations that we would normally have can’t be held because I’m never sure if the person is really taking in what I am saying, and if the person really knows what they’re saying. I also feel uncomfortable with the direct gaze that many people who are drinking fix on me. And sometimes, people who are drinking draw closer physically, and that feels uncomfortable to me.

Again, very small changes, but to someone who is not drinking, these behaviors are obvious and uncomfortable.

I know it’s not drunkenness, but it’s not normalness either. I don’t like it. I don’t like to attend social functions with friends when there is drinking because I feel like I’m in a room full of strangers. Again, it isn’t outright drunkenness–just a little off from normalcy.

My father, a teetotaller, used to make use of this. He would go out with his work associates, and after they had had a drink or two, he would get them talking, and wait for them to say something that they shouldn’t say–reveal a secret, or make an inappropriate comment about someone. Then he would use that indiscretion to get what he wanted out of that person. The next day or week at work, my father would make it clear that the person had committed an indiscretion, and that he would keep it to himself as long as he got what he wanted out of that person. We’re not talking about money or sex here, we’re talking about power, and my dad enjoyed his “power” over these people. He would gloat about how people act stupid when they are drinking alcohol, and tell my brother and me that we should never drink.

I know that sounds cruel of him, like something J.R. Ewing or Donald Trump would do!

But interestingly, my work associates are going to Happy Hour this Friday, and invited me (along with the whole department). I am probably going to make an appearance and have a Coke (diet) because I think it’s good office politics.

But here’s the interesting part–when my husband heard about this, he said, “You should wait until they’ve been drinking, and then try to get them to say what they REALLY think, and then you’ll have something on them at work.”

Oh, man! Wow! I was shocked to hear my husband say this! And then I realized that it was actually in the back of my mind.

So I’m thinking that this “power thing” over people who drink is not just my father, but other teetotalling people! It’s kind of creepy, isn’t it? Bwoo ha ha!

I wouldn’t actively seek to do this “power thing.” I don’t tihnk my dad ever did, mainly because he didn’t enjoy going to bars and watching people drink and act silly. He enjoyed (and still enjoys) good conversation.

BUT…IF one of my work associates DOES happen to say something stupid or commit an indiscretion this Friday, you BET I’ll use it to keep my job or to gain a little power! I’m not stupid, and I don’t think it’s “cruel” to be wise in this day of downsizing and layoffs. I won’t look for it and I certainly won’t “work the crowd.” But if it happens…

Anyway, I would be interested in knowing if other teetotallers (the two or three of you who are members of CAF!) agree that people who are drinking act just a little differently than normal, and also whether you’ve ever seen or done this “power grab thing.”

So, blackmail is not a sin?

 

[Cat]

So, blackmail is not a sin?

That’s a good question.

It’s not really blackmail. It’s just taking advantage of someone else’s mistake.

 

[Miriam1947]

That’s a good question.

It’s not really blackmail. It’s just taking advantage of someone else’s mistake.

I think you should ask your priest about that. Because even taking advantage of someone’s mistake sounds sinful to me.

 

[mdgspencer]

Cattholics have nothing against drinking alcohol. Alcohol is used in communion. St. Paul recommended drinking moderately for your health.
On the other hand, if some people are going to get drunk, it would be better if that function didn’t occur. Being drunk means not having rational control over your actions. Furthermore, if someone is drunk and then drives home, they could cause a car accident (let alone being arrested by the police, and perhaps appearing in a newspaper article saying that they got drunk at a parish party).

 

[Cat]

I think you should ask your priest about that. Because even taking advantage of someone’s mistake sounds sinful to me.

You’re probably right.

I don’t usually attend events where alcohol is served. It’s just not comfortable for me. I prefer to interact with the real people, not with people who are under the influence, even if the influence is small and subtle.

I’m still debating about the Happy Hour this Friday. Probably won’t go.

 

[manualman]

Need more details. (Maybe I missed them).

Did this person conclude there was widespread drunkenness because people were locking arms and signing loudly and generally having a good time, or was the conclusion based on people puking, passing out, unable to walk/talk coherently, etc?

Big difference, I think. Do the math on the amount of wine Jesus made at Cana. It’s hundreds of gallons. And that’s AFTER the original amount ran out. Those folks weren’t having a half glass over dinner. Methinks a fair bit’o singing and laughing ensured.