Alcohol

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missme22

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I’m trying to get honest with myself and I’m wondering if I have a drinking problem. I don’t wake up and drink or anything but I have at least 2 glasses of wine a night. I was never a drinker but I started having wine because my husband did every night. Now he opens a bottle every night. I will drink alone, too. It’s usually to calm down and relax. I’ve tried curtailing it and I usually can. But it’s not easy. It doesn’t effect my work, and it’s not an “issue” but I know it’s not normal. What do you think?
 
I don’t see anything wrong with it, then again I drink like a fish 😉
 
Im straight edge, but I think youre fine. Its not even the norms just yet, and def. not as worst as a lot of others. But if it bothers you, then maybe you should try to lessen it for a peace of mind?
 
missme22 said:
I’m trying to get honest with myself and I’m wondering if I have a drinking problem. I don’t wake up and drink or anything but I have at least 2 glasses of wine a night. I was never a drinker but I started having wine because my husband did every night. Now he opens a bottle every night. I will drink alone, too. It’s usually to calm down and relax. I’ve tried curtailing it and I usually can. But it’s not easy. It doesn’t effect my work, and it’s not an “issue” but I know it’s not normal. What do you think?
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Purely on health grounds you would be exceeding the recommended daily, and assuming two glasses every day, weekly limits of alcohol which health guidelines recommend.
 
That does not constitute binge drinking. If you are incapable of not drinking, then you likely have a problem.
 
Here’s the easiest way to see if you have a problem: try to stop. If you can’t bring yourself to or you can’t keep it up for a goodly period of time (anywhere from a week to a month in my opinion) I’d say you have a problem. If not, carry on, sir winey!
 
missme22 said:
I’m trying to get honest with myself and I’m wondering if I have a drinking problem. I don’t wake up and drink or anything but I have at least 2 glasses of wine a night. I was never a drinker but I started having wine because my husband did every night. Now he opens a bottle every night. I will drink alone, too. It’s usually to calm down and relax. I’ve tried curtailing it and I usually can. But it’s not easy. It doesn’t effect my work, and it’s not an “issue” but I know it’s not normal. What do you think?
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Yes, I think you have a drinking problem. Not because of the number of drinks or the frequency, but because you are drinking “to calm down and relax” and you have “tried curtailing it and I usually can; but it’s not easy.” In a world where alcohol consumption is so prevalent, I use it as a rule of thumb that if you (or someone else) thinks there “may be” a problem, there usually is. And, no, I’m no teetotler and definitely consume more than I ought as well . . .

Again, the very fact you asked the question may provide the answer.
 
missme22 said:
I’m trying to get honest with myself and I’m wondering if I have a drinking problem. I don’t wake up and drink or anything but I have at least 2 glasses of wine a night. I was never a drinker but I started having wine because my husband did every night. Now he opens a bottle every night. I will drink alone, too. It’s usually to calm down and relax. I’ve tried curtailing it and I usually can. But it’s not easy. It doesn’t effect my work, and it’s not an “issue” but I know it’s not normal. What do you think?
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2 glasses of wine a day is probably recommended by the majority of doctors the world over. I bet many Popes have had 2 glasses of wine a day for their health!
 
triumphguy said:
2 glasses of wine a day is probably recommended by the majority of doctors the world over. I bet many Popes have had 2 glasses of wine a day for their health!
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I was going to post the same.

I think the part though that jumps out at me is the part where the OP says she’s tried to curtail and usually can. Not so much the part that she drinks to relax. That seems the reason most people drink, to relax and enjoy a good dinner, or a good conversation, etc. But if she’s having trouble curtailing her daily alcohol intake, it wouldn’t matter how little alcohol we’re talking about. Only the OP can say if that is really the issue. But the two glasses of wine per day, may not be a cause for concern. Its only in the US that the daily recommendation for alcohol for women is 1 drink per day. Other countries, it jumps to 2-3 per day.
 
The problem most Americans have with alcohol is one of mindset.
Unfortunately American attitudes toward alcohol has been tainted by a puritanical protestant belief that alcohol is sinful and evil unto itself.
This is evidenced by your concern that your consumption of 2 glasses of wine a day is excessive. Only in the US would that even a consideration. In Spain, France, Italy, Germany and the rest of Europe, 2 glasses of wine or beer would be considered normal for one meal!
The difference is that beer and wine in Europe are largely considered as an adjunct to eating. In Europe, one almost never imbibes alcohol of any kind without eating something.
In imbibing alcohol responsibly, there is one rule that should be observed: Drink only to enjoy the flavor of the beverage, especially in conjunction with food. Never drink for the effects that alcohol has on your body (i.e. to get stoned). And be especially careful about drinking alcohol “to calm down”. That is just an excuse to yourself that can get you into trouble. Likewise, telling yourself that you began drinking because of your husband, or “I can quit any time” is sheer nonsense and a cop-out!
I think I know about such things because I am a recovering alcoholic who hasn’t had a drink since the night Jimmy Carter was elected. I am an ex-professional sailor who made the mistake of continuing to “drink like one” when he finally came ashore. It took 3 1/2 years of intense psycho therapy for me to get dry. And no, I didn’t go to AA, because my personality would clash with their methodology.
If you think you have a problem with alcohol, please discuss it with your priest-and not necessarily in the confessional. Make an appointment to see him. He, above any other will be in a position to help you, or at least be able to refer you to someone who can help.
 
My parents had a drink or two every night for most of their married life–usually a beer and maybe a shot of whiskey to go with it-- and it was never a problem for either one. Here were their rules:
  1. Give alcohol up for Advent and Lent. My dad always said that if you can’t do that, you have a problem. Maybe you miss it, but it shouldn’t be a bigger deal than the other little enjoyable habits you give up. (They would have a drink during Advent and Lent for a special occasion like a birthday, but did not have their daily afternoon libation.)
  2. Never drink to excess
  3. Never use alcohol as a medicine for bad feelings. A drink or two was part of their normal daily wind-down, but I never heard either of them say, “I need a drink”. Usually, when you “need” a drink, what you need is a friend. Let the friend drink, but you have something softer until you’re feeling better.
 
well i am a recovering alchoholic since 95 and i drink non alchoholic beer now and again. As long as it is in moderation. Christ drank and liked a good party so. Dont fret!
 
It seems that the question of alchohol consumption comes up on this forum periodically. I’ve been known to have a drink or two on somewhat regular basis, in the interest of full disclosure. And, I have no particlar expertise by way of education. So, my opinion is offered a such and no more.

I doubt anybody would say that a glass or two of wine at the end of the day is excessive. The regularity may be troublesome, but probably even that is not serious. If you’re truly worried about the physical ramifcations, you should seek the help of a doctor.

I think your concern about whether it constitutes a sin is of more concern to me. There are some–and you can easly find numerous threads on this subject-- on this forum that insist that alchohol consumption, in any quantity is sinful. I don’t buy that at all. There are others that seem to accept alchohol consumption as being perfectly alright even if consumed before driving so long as it is in small quantities. I think this is fool hearty. Any amount of alchohol consumption dulls judgement, slows reaction time and loosens inhibition, even if by seemingly imperceptable amounts. I assume you’re dong this in the safety and comfort of your home. Non-issue.

If you’re concerned enough about the amount, frequency, or your own perceived inability to stop then that is more problematic, IMHO. Not because I am making a judgement about it, which I am not, but rather because you chose to ask it in a public forum. If it truly bothers you that much then perhaps you do need guidance from your priest, not from members of this forum. Short of that, you could perhaps test yourself. Try praying a rosary rather than having the first glass. Get a daily devotional as an alternative. Consider setting a period of time in which you will stop and replace the time with a good work. You may find helping others or doing some good in your community as caliming and relaxing as a couple of glasses of wine. You could resolve to give it up for Lent. Now, there’s an idea. Anyway, I would guess that a professional would tell you that at your level of consumption it’s probably not harmful. If it grows or gets in the way of your relationship with God then it’s a problem that needs attention. And, finally, take it easy on yourself. God loves and forgives. His mercy is boundless
 
missme22 said:
I’m trying to get honest with myself and I’m wondering if I have a drinking problem. I don’t wake up and drink or anything but I have at least 2 glasses of wine a night. I was never a drinker but I started having wine because my husband did every night. Now he opens a bottle every night. I will drink alone, too. It’s usually to calm down and relax. I’ve tried curtailing it and I usually can. But it’s not easy. It doesn’t effect my work, and it’s not an “issue” but I know it’s not normal. What do you think?
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Depends on the size of the glass 😉 But it doesn’t sound too bad.

We had a habit of this, also. I noticed I was gaining weight and also, my health was suffering in other ways (because I would have a drink and a smoke or two).

We’ve quit everything–no alcohol, no tobacco, and very limited caffeine/soda. It’s helped me drop about 20lbs (still more to go). Honestly, I’m feeling better without the nightly habit. We switched that out for a walk to the park after dinner. And it’s left me with slightly more (not that I have tons of energy in the evening after a day with the kids) energy than I used to have. The wine was making me more tired/sedentary…

If it’s not really causing you an issue, I wouldn’t worry. That said, in my experience, I feel better without it overall. We’re not teetotalers around here, but we definitely limit alcohol to a once-in-a-blue-moon occasion.

Now if we could just get the sugar and processed food consumption so well under control… :o I think I might be a junk food/sugar addict.

Good luck on your health goals 🙂
 
You sound like a hardcore alcoholic to me. I mean bad. You should never touch the stuff again. Nah, I’m kidding. Have you ever been around a person with a serious drinking problem? Well they are nothing like you describe yourself. Lighten up and enjoy life. If it starts to cause problems in your life then revisit the issue again.
 
I think that you should replace the wine with something more fresh or a diferent kind of habit to relax.

You can relax by listening to diferent kinds of music or simply taking a walk down some near park. It’s up to you. Peace.
 
A little wine is a gift from God.

Of vintage wine I am a lover…

Of vintage wine I am a lover;
To drink deep would be my delight;
If 'twere not for the bleak hangover
I’d get me loaded every night;
I’s whoop it up with song and laughter -
If 'twere not for the morning after/

For though to soberness I’m given
It is a thought I’ve often thunk:
The nearest that is Earth to Heaven
Is to get sublimely drunk;
Is to achieve divine elation
By means of generous libation.

Alas, the wine-ups claim their payment
And as the price if often pain,
if we could sense what morning grey meant
We never would get soused again;
Rather than buy a hob-nailed liver
I’m sure that we’d abstain for ever.

Yet how I love the glow of liquor,
As joyfully I drink it up!
hoping that unto life’s last flicker
With praise I’ll raise the ruby cup;
And let me like a jolly monk
Proceed to get sublimely drunk.

Robert Service
 
If you feel like something isn’t right with your drinking, you should trust that instinct. Addiction has a way of sneaking in the back door, and there isn’t a number you can put on it.
 
triumphguy said:
2 glasses of wine a day is probably recommended by the majority of doctors the world over. I bet many Popes have had 2 glasses of wine a day for their health!
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Two standard drinks a day (and a standard drink is a lot less than most folks imagine) is about the maximum for a healthy adult.

I wouldn’t use it daily as your standard way of relaxing though - you may be tempted to drink more if your stress increases for any reason. And as you’ve found it can be difficult to give up.

Baby steps though - rather than going cold turkey, try cutting down in manageable steps. As an example - start with having only one drink a day on weekdays, with two a day on weekends. Then only one drink a day on weekends as well. Then try going without on Fridays as a penance. Then go without on Wednesdays as well. Then, if you like, try going without for a week at a time. Etc etc etc.
 
Non_sum_dignus said:
If you feel like something isn’t right with your drinking, you should trust that instinct. Addiction has a way of sneaking in the back door, and there isn’t a number you can put on it.
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Yes, that can be true, but… some people fear alcoholism so much that they become scrupulous.

There is no harm in going without alcohol, but scrupulosity is another thing altogether. There is a reason that the prayer after the Our Father asks not just that we be kept “free from sin” but also “safe from all distress-- (which used to read “free from all anxiety”)–as we wait in joyful hope…”

It doesn’t hurt to give up drinking, but when one does that it is still worth asking* why* one is concerned about one’s alcohol use. If it is because one is using alcohol as a medication for difficult feelings or difficult situation, then yes, that is dangerous and one is wise to question it while that use is still limited and can be abandoned in favor of a more appropriate way of dealing with inner distress.

If the anxiety about the spectre of alcoholism is distressing even though one has never used alcohol inappropriately or has only done so on one or two “instructive” occasions that were not repeated, then I don’t think the alcohol is the root issue. I would suspect fear is the culprit. It could be a symptom of being afraid to live for fear of losing control of oneself. If that is the actual issue, then one won’t be cured by staying away from liquor. It’s not that the alcohol is some necessity that one can’t do without, but that if it’s not the alcohol, it will be something else. It could be just fearing that one might become someone else who had a very different set of trials and a very different life. Giving up alcohol won’t really cure that, either.

A desire for perfection can be a desire for sanctity, but it can also be a form of self-centeredness that is emotionally and spiritually crippling. A desire to avoid all danger can also cripple a person. It is fine to avoid alcohol, but it is still wise to honestly ask why one abstains. The answer could be anything but trivial in importance.
 
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