Alcoholism

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Nadq

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Dear Friends,

I urgently need your support. My father is an alcoholic and it went as bad as he was almost unconscious and my brother quitted his work to take care of him as he was like very elderly people unable to do anyting, but lay on bed and needed to be locked not to buy more alcohol and stay in the same condition. Now my brother can’t start work for more than an year now, because my father starts the same story over and over again and my brother feels obligated to lock him and is afraid of the same consequences again… He (my brother) is totally desperate now and even mentions suicide, because he can’t stand the current situation.

It is not a thing I easily talk about to people I know, so I ask you here for your advices and prayers!

Thank you in advance!

Nadia
 
I’m going to assume that English is not your first language and that you are not in the US. Find your country on this website and locate an Al-Anon meeting.

Al-Anon/Alateen International

Tell your brother to let your father out of whatever room he’s locked in. Your father will probably drink himself to death, I am sorry to say, but there is nothing you can do to stop him. You can make your entire family very crazy by trying. It is time for your brother and your whole family to detach with love from your father’s alcoholism. He may end up choosing recovery, or he might not, but at least you do not have to go down with him.

Go to more than one meeting, if possible, because although they are all based upon the same principles, they each have different members and so you might feel comfortable in one meeting and not as comfortable in another. There is no charge to attend and you do not have to speak at all, unless you want to. You’ll just hear others sharing their own experience, strength and hope, and every one of them has been affected in some way by someone else’s alcoholism.
 
I understand what you are dealing with. Both my parents were alcoholics and it killed both of them. I didn’t lock them in a room but after my dad died I had my mother put in a rehab center. She said what she needed to in order to get out and then went back to drinking. I will always feel like I should have done more for them but all you can really do if they refuse to get help is let them know that you love them. That sounds cute and its easy to write but its very hard to do because you spend so much time hating them for what they are doing to you and themselves.

If your dads not going to stop drinking there is nothing you can do to make him. Don’t let him suck you and your brother into his craziness, you know what im talking about. Screaming and yelling at him or locking him in a room is not going to work if he doesn’t want help. Do what you can for him but don’t let him pull you down with him.

I will pray for you and you brother and father every morning like I do for my parents.

God bless you and your brother.
 
I am a recovering alcoholic (sober date 5.4.1992). I am so sorry for what you and your brother are going through right now.

Your brother needs to let your father do what he is going to do - and that may mean drink himself to death. The two of you need to love him enough and respect him enough to stand back and allow him to hit bottom.

If there is AA in your area, you can call them and talk with someone there who can refer you to the Al-Anon Family Group. It is a group for people who love alcoholics.

I know the heartache I caused those who loved me and I am extremely grateful for all they tried to do to help me. I am especially grateful that they STOPPED trying to help me and started stepping over me as I lay on the floor, messing my pants and vomiting on myself. I am very grateful they stopped giving me money or food. I am very grateful they never stopped loving me but they stopped trying to make me be what I could not be - sober.

Today I am a woman of grace and dignity. Because of the 12 Steps I returned to the Church. I am a Third Order Dominican. I am a writer. I am a contributing member of society. I am a Giants and Niner fan (oh wait, I was those before…never mind).

You are in my prayers. :rolleyes:
 
I am so sorry for you and your brother.

Can your doctor help? Maybe your father can be referred to rehab or maybe contact social services and see what advice/help they can offer.

I have a son with alcoholism and I understand your pain. My heart goes out to you.
May God bless you,your brother and your father.

Why not post this in the prayers intentions forum also ? Others will pray with you for your father.

Lord please help this father to recognise his alcoholism and to be able t oovercoem his addiction.Please bring help to him and support for these two sons.Thankyou Lord for hearing our prayers Amen

Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen
 
Hello,

I am now sober 5 years. Nothing could stand between me and a bottle. I had to find my bottom. AA worked for me. The posts above mine are all exactly correct. For you Al-Anon, call AA for a 12 step call on your dad. They will be happy to approach him. If he accepts his bottom, there may be hope of recovery. My mom prayed for my recovery and she didnt know the half of my despair. Her prayers were the best thing that could have helped, when no human power could intervene. After 1 year sober I started praying the rosary and now am entering the catholic faith. Recovery is possible. The hard part for you will be to let go and let God.

My prayer intentions today were for alcoholics who still suffered; may your father’s heart be soft enough to hear the call of a power greater than the booze.

dave
 
Lord please help this father to recognise his alcoholism and to be able to overcome his addiction.Please bring help to him and support for these two sons.Thankyou Lord for hearing our prayers Amen

Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen
 
TheRealJuliane said:
I’m going to assume that English is not your first language and that you are not in the US. Find your country on this website and locate an Al-Anon meeting.

Al-Anon/Alateen International

…Go to more than one meeting, if possible, because although they are all based upon the same principles, they each have different members and so you might feel comfortable in one meeting and not as comfortable in another. There is no charge to attend and you do not have to speak at all, unless you want to. You’ll just hear others sharing their own experience, strength and hope, and every one of them has been affected in some way by someone else’s alcoholism.
Click to expand...
LSK said:
If there is AA in your area, you can call them and talk with someone there who can refer you to the Al-Anon Family Group.
Click to expand...
PeacePilgrim66 said:
AA worked for me. The posts above mine are all exactly correct. For you Al-Anon, call AA for a 12 step call on your dad. They will be happy to approach him.
Click to expand...
I would like to add my voice to these: Please seek out Al-Anon meetings in your area, whether you are in North America or elsewhere. 👍

Meanwhile, St. Martin of Tours is the patron saint of alcoholics. Ask for his prayers, too! 🙂
 
I feel that it’s your brother who needs rescuing. He’s become a slave to this disease and he needs to set himself free, leave his dad to live as he wishes, and realize that even if your father ends up dead, it will not be your brother’s fault.
That said, he can give him AA numbers etc. but the rest lies with your dad.
Alcoholism causes devastation, but , me being an alcoholic myself, no-one chooses to be an alcoholic and the cravings pump through all your veins. I wish you all the best x
 
Thank you all, who have responded for your advices and support!

We have tried the AA already plus a psychological therapy and some prescription drugs. It had an effect for a few month, then he drew back to his habits. But I take the point that you can’t do anything by force and I will try to help my brother realize this as well and regain his life.

Thanks once again for the compassion - I was really moved reading your posts and I will also pray for all your intentions and needs!
 
Sometimes we have to love someone enough to let go. No one can make your father stop drinking and it is far better to leave him to his own devices and pray for him. Hopefully he will come to realize how much better his life would be if he stops. But only he can make that decision and if your brother continues to watch over him, he is only enabling in the long run. I will remember all of you in my prayers. Growing up with an alcoholic father, I know what you are going thru. God bless.
 
Nadq said:
Thank you all, who have responded for your advices and support!

We have tried the AA already plus a psychological therapy and some prescription drugs. It had an effect for a few month, then he drew back to his habits. But I take the point that you can’t do anything by force and I will try to help my brother realize this as well and regain his life.

Thanks once again for the compassion - I was really moved reading your posts and I will also pray for all your intentions and needs!
Click to expand...
Please, please, go to Al-Anon, for YOU and for your brother. Whatever your father chooses to do, it is not your problem. You can have compassion for him while still living a good life. The alcoholic does not have to take you down to the bottom along with him.

Al-Anon is worldwide, and if you can’t get to a meeting you can also “attend” a meeting on line.

International Al-Anon Meetings
 
tbcrawford said:
Lord please help this father to recognise his alcoholism and to be able to overcome his addiction.Please bring help to him and support for these two sons.Thankyou Lord for hearing our prayers Amen

Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen
Click to expand...
Eternal God , in whom mercy is endless,
and the treasury of compassion inexhastible ,
look kindly upon us and increase Your mercy in us ,
that in difficult moments we might not despair
nor become despondent , but with great confidence ,
submit ourselves to Your Holy Will ,
which is love and mercy itself . Amen

Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen
 
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  1. Place Jesus Crucifix, His Holy Images and The Holy Scapula (purchase at a Catholic or Christian Bookshop) in your Father’s bedroom, lounge room and kitchen along with where he normally puts his alcohol; goodbye and good riddance satan, return to hell, through Jesus victorious blood of His victorious resurrection over you satan,
  2. Pick up The Holy Rosary Card or print off the internet and ask Jesus and Mother Mary, (you and your brother praying together each night), to expel the alcoholism in your father and pushing your father to book into a long term detox centre for detoxification, healing him, now and for Eternity, Do not forget to pray for World Peace at the same time.
  3. Your father upon return to his home needs all money taken for the first few months, bought fresh meat, vegies and fruit, with two stout beers only per day to detoxify in his own environment. This is what a hardened alcoholic in my family did 18 years ago and worked to date. He needs an outdoors out of the home activity daily that goes for a few hours,
Best wishes and please be patient for Jesus’ assistance as He is listening and intervenes in His time while you are doing the prep work.
 
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  1. The firm stance against evil that causes alcoholism (satan cannot stand Jesus’ Images and Crucifix around “its” victims. Therefore, the first step is to place as many of Jesus’ Images and Our Lady Mary’s Images in your father’s home. The Holy Rosary Cards can be picked up from your local Catholic Church and as previously stated Jesus Crucifixes and Holy Cards from your local Christian bookshop. Get Jesus Holy Cross blessed by your Priest if you can.
  2. Tell your father in no uncertain terms that he is going to receive help permanently and that if he follows Jesus’ love and guidance saying a prayer for healing “ask and Ye shall receive”, your father will not go through the withdrawals (d.t’s) or thirsting for the unquenchable again, in a few months time, if he agrees for money to be taken to fuel the alcohol bingeing, if he agrees to eat more healthily, exercise, (walking or swimming daily), attending Mass each Sunday, Reconciliation (satan cannot stand this), Fasting every now and then later on when he’s stronger, and most of all praying The Holy Rosary twice daily.
  3. In 6 weeks time or a few weeks time after detoxification, new ground rules in and around his home implemented. Two stouts only as the full replacement of all alcohol. These are only of a night over his meal if he has adhered to all of the rules. If he refuses to get his exercise daily out of the home and to do the tasks you and your brother set (cld be attending counselling, visiting the sick, charity work, getting a part time job); this allows satan to work against him and he is not rewarded for this by having money and alcohol,
  4. Your brother and self need to be firm and do the tough love yards in harmony with Jesus and Mother Mary (through The Holy Rosary) where He can work through your father and yourselves getting rid of satan and its damage through alcohol.
  5. Your brother will be rewarded a well paid wonderful job after your brother has completed his Calling to Jesus. Jesus calls us to do a few major works of His with family members (mine was my Mother-in-Law x the past couple of years and another younger family member (she has just agreed to professional help and already within weeks of praying and asking Jesus and Mother Mary for His Divine Love and Healing; my relative has a wonderful well paid job, rarely drinks, and overcome many things in her life.
A prayer to Jesus: Please Dear Jesus Christ our Saviour and Dear Our Lady Mary Mother of Jesus, could You bathe our Father (Dad) in Thy Divine Love, Healing, Protection Health Safety and Wisdom, removing all alcoholism, ensuring Dad receives all of Thy help, and ridding satan out of Dad’s Heart, Mind, Soul and Body now and for Eternity, Amen.

Give your brother regular breaks and ask family members to participate in your father’s program in the meantime (before your brother returns to work).
 
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The most important thing to say to Jesus and Our Lady Mary Mother of Jesus is the following during the Holy Rosary:

“We completely hand over to You Dear Jesus Christ our Saviour all of our Crosses and Dad’s alcoholism to Thee”. We Thank Thee for all of our Blessings during our lives and pray for Dad’s full speedy recovery. We pray for Dad to open up his Heart to Thee Dear Jesus Christ our Saviour, now and for Eternity, Amen.

Whatever country you reside, there should be a respite care place or home for your Brother to leave your father every couple of months for a break away from home and your father. If this is not the situation, ask some of your father’s relatives to stay with him periodically for your brother to be given a break, ensuring that you all continue praying The Holy Rosary twice daily and that they are firm and rigid not breaking the rules to continue your father’s detoxification process.

God bless
 
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Below your Thread is a Thread of “LSK’s” (someone who used to drink alcohol) 21 years ago. He has a link to go into that may be of assistance; I have not found the opportunity to read the link, however it may well assist you and your Family at this time.
 
Eternal God , in whom mercy is endless,
and the treasury of compassion inexhastible ,
look kindly upon us and increase Your mercy in us ,
that in difficult moments we might not despair
nor become despondent , but with great confidence ,
submit ourselves to Your Holy Will ,
which is love and mercy itself . Amen

Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen
 
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