All Sorts of Confusion

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3Sanctus

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I converted to Catholicism, being confirmed on Easter Vigil of 2006, and have - since before I was confirmed - felt drawn to life within a religious order, likely as a priest. I have had issues - both with regards to the Christ-likeness of my life and with actually discerning Our Lord’s will - and feel rather stuck.

As a result of not feeling like I’m where I need to be in my relationship with Christ, feeling lost with discernment, and at least partially due to the expectations of my protestant parents and the way in which I unfailingly burden myself with their expectations I’m looking at going into the Navy this year. I just feel rather lost, because I see both the good and bad of joining the Navy (as an officer mind you, I have already completed my Bachelor’s Degree) and feel unsure about how I should proceed.

I see the Navy as a possible way of furthering the discernment process, especially given the way such a life style would impact my ability to be obedient, and see the positive available in either route, I just feel confused and lost and don’t want to ignore/lose my vocation, should one indeed exist.

Any thoughts, suggestions, comments, and prayers would be greatly appreciated! :highprayer:

Pax Christi vobiscum!
 
Do diocesan vocations directors play a part in the process if the individual in question is called to the religious life within a religious order, as opposed to the secular priesthood?
 
I will keep you in my prayers and Masses.

As regards the Christliness of your life, for anyone, priest or lay, to grow more Christlike in life is a journey with little daily steps. Your post made me think of this prayer amongst those I wrote to pray ‘on behalf of’’ priests a few years ago

Vulnerable human reality

Jesus, You chose Your priests** from amongst Your people, yet in the sacramental ‘laying of hands’ You do not perfect us. Like those we serve, we need pardon, healing, prayer and faith as we seek grace to become humble, genuine witnesses of Christ.** Through Sacrament and intercession, teaching and act, we encourage and instruct Your people as You call us in our personal human history and reality, to be instruments of Your grace for others.

By your honest expression of rightly directed human emotion, intelligence and personality, You witnessed the wholeness of our nature when creatively lived in God’s love. In Your authenticity as a vital human, You revealed that each person’s salvation is projected around reality, not around some ideal self. Wholeness is found in one’s actual situation with its limitations and advantages. It is offered within one’s true personality in its abilities and handicaps.

Allow us to recognise Your unique expression of love in each other person. Give us the gift of revealing to everyone we meet and serve—the image within him of the glorious, loving beauty of You amid his human frailties and strengths. We thus encourage his trust and affirm his hope in Your patient lifelong moulding of him in the overwhelming love of Your personal plan for him.

In us, therefore—who are no less human than any other person—is manifest the wise charity and the gentle humility of Christ, to each person who comes before You in contrition, thankfulness, faith and joy. We thank and praise You Jesus, who shared all weakness of our nature except sin.

Help us to respect and encourage everyone, pardoning those who offend or inconvenience us. In liberty of spirit born of obedience, faith, and of freedom from undue attachments—we allow Your grace and witness to flow through us to others. We trust that You accomplish this even where there is no evidence of Your action.

Please sustain us as generous, inspired instruments of grace for Your continuing mission, as we alert others to the light of the Spirit in their lives. We glorify You, as we daily accept this joyful cross of our priestly ministry, while managing the challenges of our own vulnerable humanity! Thank You Jesus, Who throughout the ages lovingly uses Your imperfect creatures as instruments of love, service, and glory!
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3Sanctus said:
Do diocesan vocations directors play a part in the process if the individual in question is called to the religious life within a religious order, as opposed to the secular priesthood?
Click to expand...
Have you had a spiritual director? the Vocation Director might get you a list of sprittual directors in your diocese so that they can guide you.
 
No, I’ve never had a spiritual director.

I went through RCIA (at least for most of the process, the program was rather bumpy) at my school’s CCM and was confirmed there at school. I was a bit too conservative for that crowd and ended up spending the past year and a half without a real parish/community where I regularly attended, going between the FSSP chapel near my mother’s old house and a parish near my school.

Now that I’ve graduated and am living at home (ahh! lol) I’ve registered with the parish I fall into geographically, and have been attending there, though I’ve only been back home since July or August so I don’t really know anyone there well, including the priest.

I think I’m going to talk to my pastor about my possible vocation when I go to confession this Saturday and see about making an appointment with him. I just feel like I don’t know anyone who would take me seriously and that I’m too conservative for this diocese to take me seriously, based on how things work in my region and things I’ve heard from other people discerning within my diocese.

I’m also afraid that priest is just going to look at me and be like “YOU want to be a PRIEST!?” I’m not really involved with anything, though I have a small group of devout friends I hang out with.

I just feel confused. Should I bother working with any of the priests in my area, or should I just suck it up and get over myself and either go talk to religious orders or move on?
 
3Sanctus said:
I converted to Catholicism, being confirmed on Easter Vigil of 2006, and have - since before I was confirmed - felt drawn to life within a religious order, likely as a priest. I have had issues - both with regards to the Christ-likeness of my life and with actually discerning Our Lord’s will - and feel rather stuck.

As a result of not feeling like I’m where I need to be in my relationship with Christ, feeling lost with discernment, and at least partially due to the expectations of my protestant parents and the way in which I unfailingly burden myself with their expectations I’m looking at going into the Navy this year. I just feel rather lost, because I see both the good and bad of joining the Navy (as an officer mind you, I have already completed my Bachelor’s Degree) and feel unsure about how I should proceed.

I see the Navy as a possible way of furthering the discernment process, especially given the way such a life style would impact my ability to be obedient, and see the positive available in either route, I just feel confused and lost and don’t want to ignore/lose my vocation, should one indeed exist.

Any thoughts, suggestions, comments, and prayers would be greatly appreciated! :highprayer:

Pax Christi vobiscum!
Click to expand...
if you feel drawn to religious life, the chances are it won’t go away. You are aiming for the Navy and yet you feel confused. This is not a sign that you are heading in the right direction (look into Ignatian discernment). Also, you are joining because of your parent’s expectations, which seems a bad motive on its own. I would focus your prayer and discernment on religious life and maybe visit some orders. Make acts of hope and trust that Jesus will lead you to your end in life (i.e. His will). I think trying to forget it will not work as God is persistent, as I have found out.
 
Maybe God is calling you to be a military chaplain? There are two priests in my diocese that currently serve in the military.

fargodiocese.org/News/PressReleases/DonahueWestPoint11-12-08.pdf

The other priest is at one of the Newman centers in my town.

Just a thought… . 🙂

Maybe this was mentioned and I didn’t read closely enough, but can you get to adoration? It’s one of the best ways to find out what God is telling you. Also, just from my own experience and from what I’ve heard from others - confusion is part of the process.
 
This is something you really need to speak with someone else about - start with your Vocations director at the Diocese, call vocations directors at orders you are interested in, contact someone who has been down this road. You are not meant to just twist in the wind all by yourself.
 
During confession today I mentioned the calling I feel from God and my parish priest told me to call the parish office concerning an upcoming diocesan-sponsored vocations retreat (I had mentioned feeling called to the religious life and he assured me this would be a “priest-pushing” retreat). Naturally I’ll be calling the parish office on Monday if no one’s in there tomorrow.

I also think I’m going to write a letter to the novice director at a monastery I’ve been thinking of visiting, so I can perhaps get a little more assistance during my retreat to the monastery instead of being so haughty as to rely on myself to formulate as well as answer my call.

In Pax Christi.

Stephen
 
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