All the single ladies ... and men

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Have fun with this one and feel free to rip me a new one. I’m male btw.

Turn Offs
  • Complains about bad exes
  • Has out-of-wedlock children
  • Uses obscenity
  • Cries a lot/drama queen
  • Politically uninformed
  • Out-of-shape
  • Psychological problems
  • Pill-popper
  • Airhead
  • Unhygienic
Turn Ons
  • Highly affectionate
  • Modest
  • Feminine/fashionable
  • On the nerdy side
  • Obviously wants to be a mother (oh no what a chauvinist I am)
That’s about it.

Keep in mind, in context with the forum being Catholics, I notice most devout Catholic women are married at 21 or younger. I find this to be mildly extreme. I’d prefer her to have a slight dedication to career and not to immediately be married and pregnant right out of college.
 
PaleoConCatlick said:
Have fun with this one and feel free to rip me a new one. I’m male btw.

Turn Offs
  • Complains about bad exes
  • Has out-of-wedlock children
  • Uses obscenity
  • Cries a lot/drama queen
  • Politically uninformed
  • Out-of-shape
  • Psychological problems
  • Pill-popper
  • Airhead
  • Unhygienic
Turn Ons
  • Highly affectionate
  • Modest
  • Feminine/fashionable
  • On the nerdy side
  • Obviously wants to be a mother (oh no what a chauvinist I am)
That’s about it.

Keep in mind, in context with the forum being Catholics, I notice most devout Catholic women are married at 21 or younger. I find this to be mildly extreme. I’d prefer her to have a slight dedication to career and not to immediately be married and pregnant right out of college.
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As a young Catholic woman… I don’t agree with some of these “Turn offs”.
  1. If you don’t know a girls situation you can’t judge her because she has kids before she’s married. She could be a convert and might have not known the consequences then and is now fully aware of the Gospel.
  2. Women cry. Maybe not all of the time and if it’s manipulative, I understand but we are emotional and some of us are very tender/compassionate to others or to our own feelings and we cry.
  3. Do you really mean “Out-of-shape” or just fat? Some women are “in-shape” and are larger woman… Not everyone is skinny… Healthy maybe?? I am “out-of-shape” to some people but I can run 3 or 4 miles a couple of days a week and my health is fine…
Also some people are called to marriage early and they aren’t “rushing” into it… Maybe it’s easier to be pure in a relationship when you have less time dragging your feet to the altar.

It’s whatever you choose. You also don’t have to start looking for someone until you are ready to have children because sometimes you are blessed with a child soon after marriage and if you’re hoping not to … don’t get married until you are ready. 🙂 🙂
 
Male, 22, American:

Green flags:
Practicing Christian, of course Catholicism strongly preferred
Chaste (honestly, bar disease, I am not going to inquire about things related to the Confessional that happened in a past relationship)
My best friend
Nerdy
Family-oriented (not opposed to her working though, but for both of us family nust come first)
Educated
Attractive of course (I tend to be a face person, honestly)

Red flags:
Does not follow Church teaching or even intend to
Radical liberal (by which I mean pro-abortion, pro-gay ‘marriage’ - if she is a liberal on the other issues, no problem with me)
Uncultured
Promiscuous
HIV-positive (barring the introduction of a vaccine to treat that horrible disease, which I pray will come soon; I honestly can’t encompass a Josephite marriage, and the other means for preventing disease are immoral)
Over-concerned with homeschooling (It can be on the table, but it should not be the only option)
 
oldfashcathgirl said:
As a young Catholic woman… I don’t agree with some of these “Turn offs”.
  1. If you don’t know a girls situation you can’t judge her because she has kids before she’s married. She could be a convert and might have not known the consequences then and is now fully aware of the Gospel.
  2. Women cry. Maybe not all of the time and if it’s manipulative, I understand but we are emotional and some of us are very tender/compassionate to others or to our own feelings and we cry.
  3. Do you really mean “Out-of-shape” or just fat? Some women are “in-shape” and are larger woman… Not everyone is skinny… Healthy maybe?? I am “out-of-shape” to some people but I can run 3 or 4 miles a couple of days a week and my health is fine…
Also some people are called to marriage early and they aren’t “rushing” into it… Maybe it’s easier to be pure in a relationship when you have less time dragging your feet to the altar.

It’s whatever you choose. You also don’t have to start looking for someone until you are ready to have children because sometimes you are blessed with a child soon after marriage and if you’re hoping not to … don’t get married until you are ready. 🙂 🙂
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I will gladly respond to these.
  • I understand there are background scenarios in terms of children from a previous relationship. I’m sorry it sounds harsh, but that’s something I am in no way capable of dealing with. I’m being completely honest.
  • I am referring to ridiculous levels of crying, and doing it to get attention.
  • If you run 3-4 miles every couple of days, I doubt you’re out of shape. Yes there are different body-types. I don’t consider anorexic skinny to be the ideal. LOL
As for the getting married young around age 21, I just find it to be a terrible idea in this day and age, unless for some reason there are resources to provide. If you are completely financially stable at that age and mature, then go for it. But the reality is that with youth unemployment and student loan debt the way it is, and the Catholic Church’s teaching on birth control leading to an early pregnancy, no way is it a good economic idea for most young people, especially because the mother has to leave the workforce for awhile.

This is not in anyway an endorsement of living like a college kid until you are 30. I just think that the realistic situation of most 21-year-olds today is not suitable for having a baby. (When the husband is career military seems to be the most common exception)

The reason I bring it up is because I see it as a pattern with very devout religious people (including Protestants and Muslims). The only difference is that those two don’t have the baby immediately. 😃
 
Lost_Wanderer said:
  • Timid
  • Shy
  • Naive
  • Gullible
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Hi LW,

I know that this might be opening up a can of worms, but I just came across this thread.

In reading this and your other posts, I get the impression that you’re seeking a girl who presents a sharp contrast to the women with whom you work. It’s great that you know what you don’t want…that’s a big deal!

But may I suggest that, rather than looking for someone who is fearful and easily taken advantage of, you may find a better partner in a girl filled with wisdom, prudence, and** gentleness**? Those are the gifts that filled the saints you so admire. That kind of girl could be a partner to you and help you to grow as a man and in your role as husband, even as you help her grow as a woman and a wife.

We’re all called to be as wise as serpents and gentle as doves. Remember that you’re not the only person with whom this girl will ever interact, and evil can very easily disguise itself as good. I imagine you wouldn’t ever want to see your wife in physical, or worse, spiritual, danger. A gullible, timid person might be susceptible where a woman filled with the wisdom and prudence that are gifts of the Holy Spirit would not.

Just a thought.

Peace. 🙂
 
28 year old single male

Here is what I like
  • Loves God
  • Practicing Catholic
  • Smart (That does not necessarily mean college educated either)
  • Attractive
  • Hard working
  • Someone I can talk to like a friend
  • Likes to laugh
  • Good hearted
Turn offs
  • No regard for God
  • Lazy
  • Victim mentality (Nothing is ever her fault, blames others for everything)
  • Low class (Cussing, always starting arguments, yelling a lot, gossiping, no manners)
  • Obese ( I have had crushes on heavy set girls, but not obese)
  • Talks way too much and way too fast
  • LIARS (deal-breaker for me.)
  • Conceited women (You can know you are pretty, but nobody owes you anything because you are pretty)
That’s what I can think of off the top of my head
 
As an 18 year old single girl:

Yes to:
  • Catholic
  • Honest
  • Open to homeschooling our kids
  • Good provider with a good work ethic
  • Be able to hold a good conversation
  • Organized
  • Similar political views
  • Chivalrous
No to:
  • Addict (anything from alcohol to pornography)
  • Lying
  • Abusive
  • Uses strong language
  • Irresponsible about finances
  • Sloppy or doesn’t care how he looks
  • Doesn’t care about raising our kids
  • Thinking sexual purity is no big deal.
A lot of people always ask me if I would be OK with a guy who hadn’t stayed pure. I think that the quality I’m looking for is that he has to have respect for sexuality - either that he saved himself for his bride, or he’s confessed past sexual sins…how could I refuse to forgive something that God has forgiven?
 
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