All we do is surf the internet and watch TV

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captainmike

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five people in our family–two adults, three kids. we have two tvs, three computers, and multiple cell phones w internet access. all we do is stare at screens. virtually no interaction between us.

what can be done?
 
I would suggest you go to the Library and each of you pick out a good book – most of the 'stuff" on television is horrible – the internet is very interesting but can be too much of a good thing. I get so “bored” watching TV that I’d rather pick up my good book and read.
 
captainmike said:
five people in our family–two adults, three kids. we have two tvs, three computers, and multiple cell phones w internet access. all we do is stare at screens. virtually no interaction between us.

what can be done?
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I would approach one of them, and say that he or she is both lazy and stupid. That should start some conversation. The next day, you could say that his or her choice in friends or clothing is terrible and that they need to do something about it. Again, another conversation starter!

You probably do not want to do this at the dinner table, as they might throw food at you.

Okay, more seriously, do you still have a family supper in the evening? Could you make sure that there are no distractions, such as television or phones? The latter might be difficult, so I am not sure if it can be absolute. But perhaps a call could be answered, and the caller told they would be called back?

Of course, to promote conversation at the dinner table will require you know their interests and activities (and they will have to be willing to talk, which can be difficult in itself.) Plus it would be good to have some entertaining stories from your own experience, which can be woven into theirs.
 
I’m not sure if you can totally reverse this since your whole family is conditioned to staring at screens all day. Start with having dinner together with no smartphones, TV, computer, etc. Then you can have good conversations about what happened at work and school, the news that day. Even something small like this can be hard though. Try your best and pray to God to change them. If dinner time goes well, you can try adding some family nights for board games, going out and exercising, or even watching movies together. Looking at a screen isn’t too bad if the family is interacting with each other while they watch it. You just don’t want everyone in their own little world.
 
Jared2914 said:
I’m not sure if you can totally reverse this since your whole family is conditioned to staring at screens all day.** Start with having dinner together with no smartphones, TV, computer, etc. **Then you can have good conversations about what happened at work and school, the news that day. Even something small like this can be hard though. Try your best and pray to God to change them. If dinner time goes well, you can try adding some family nights for board games, going out and exercising, or even watching movies together. Looking at a screen isn’t too bad if the family is interacting with each other while they watch it. You just don’t want everyone in their own little world.
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👍 I double the suggestion of family meals! Collect the phones (if needed), turn off the tv, and then eat together. Maybe two or three of you could go screen-less while preparing meals together.

Also, encourage each other to discuss what your reading and watching on a screen. One way to do this is connected back to those family meals-- using the internet to find recipes, discuss them with each other, decide together what to make and prepare one of the recipes together.
 
Jared2914 said:
I’m not sure if you can totally reverse this since your whole family is conditioned to staring at screens all day. Start with having dinner together with no smartphones, TV, computer, etc. Then you can have good conversations about what happened at work and school, the news that day. Even something small like this can be hard though. Try your best and pray to God to change them. If dinner time goes well, you can try adding some family nights for board games, going out and exercising, or even watching movies together. Looking at a screen isn’t too bad if the family is interacting with each other while they watch it. You just don’t want everyone in their own little world.
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A second 👍.
Dinner without electronics is non-negotiable (can be said in a nice way 🙂 ).
See if there are any local activities where you can all go out together and enjoy.
 
Play games. Good old fashioned board games. Or cards. Very sociable, and fun. I grew up in a large family. Through long winters, and summer evenings we played games constantly. All the kids, or a few kids, sometimes the parents would join, sometimes not. It was great. We really enjoyed it. Or watch good movies together. Wholesome movies.
 
It’s so hard to break this terrible pattern without disconnecting your internet and electricity. The most fun we had as a family in recent times was when we had a blackout due to a storm. We sat around a couple of candles and laughed our heads off. My children all have great senses of humour and feed off each other really well. They rarely get that sort of time together anymore though.

Try camping or sausage sizzle dinner in a park sometime.
 
This is the way a lot of familys are today,It’s hard to say.
Everyone in your family must think about this as you are, your family is not the only one like this.:gopray2:
 
Try praying the Rosary together as a family.
I pray for your family,

Our Father, who is in heaven,
Your name be held holy,
Your kingdom come,
Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive our debts as we have forgiven our debtors,
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
Amen.
 
If at all possible, why don’t you gather up the family and take a trip? Take one overseas so that cellphone use will be more difficult and ridiculously expensive. I think maybe so time away from the mundane atmosphere of the house and some change from the every day routine could help excite the family members. If all of you share in an adventure or activity it may bring you closer together.
 
I’m not sure you can break the electronics habit if your children are older. If they are still young, you can insist on outside time - like going for a hike as a family.
 
It’s hard to compete with the bells and whistles of technology so try working with the it instead of against it. A lot will depend on your family dynamics. Are you all competitive or more passive? Are you into sports or more geek stuff or a mix? I might plan something I think my family would enjoy and then text them (use the tech) with cryptic instructions that lead them all (immediately or over a few days) to some family activity, e.g. pizza and a movie, a board game tournament, or back yard jenga. I don’t know how old your kids are but if their ages and interests are diverse then it will help to plan a few different activities so everyone gets to do their thing. I also think the messier the better, just be prepared with hoses/showers and towles, and if it’s cold cozy socks and hot chocolate.

Surely someone has come up with games families can do that use texting. Smart phones have GPS so you could play a game of high-tech hide-and-seek or get into geocaching.
 
In a way we work ‘with it’. Sometimes my kids call me from their bedrooms to ask if dinner is ready.
 
I am assuming that it is you, hubby and your three kids. First you & hubby need to do is set a good example and put away the electronics and spend quality time together.

Then getting together for Dinner with no Phones and TV is a great start. Then start having a family night where everyone picks something non electronic to do. You need to start creating fun memories where the kids and their friends want to do things with you and hubby.

My son is married and moved out, but I have rules in my house, so if you come to see me and hubby, you need to check your phone at the door, which means that there is no texting, calls, or internet while your here, for this you will get our full attention. You will get memories that last a lifetime. I have nieces and nephews both young and old who are always stopping by along with bringing friends, to talk, play games, eat dinner etc. Everyone knows the rules and no one balks at them, their friends at first seem a little disturbed about giving up the phone, but then they forget all about it since we are having fun.

If they are spending the night, they have 1/2 hour to use their phone to let everyone know they haven’t dropped off the face of the earth, before it is returned to the basket. Kids thrive on structure and rules, and being the adult you need to enforce them. Yes kids will test you, and in the beginning I sent one of my nieces home because she disobeyed the rules. Needless to say she was shocked, but was back a couple days later apologizing and hasn’t broken the rules since.

So set down the phones, shut the TV’s off and start enjoying your kids. I guarantee you that you will not find any other greater pleasure in life, then spending quality time with family. One last thing, if you say your going to do something, make sure you follow through no matter what.

Good Luck
 
It’s a habit and everyone in your family has it.

I would not try to do anything too drastic, but rather, take small steps and make small changes.

Also, I think you’ll find that if you approach the family and say, “We need to change,” they will tell you, “No we don’t” and everyone will get upset and yell at each other and some people (probably you) will cry.

Instead, make this an “I need this” rather than a “we need this.” Approach your family and say something like this, “Listen everyone, I know that we’re just a normal family and we’re not doing anything wrong or harmful. But I’m having a lot of trouble living like this. I’m really sorry, but I crave some face-to-face interaction with all of you. I would really like to be able to talk and do things with all of you without the electronics. Can all of you do this for me? Can you give up the electronics for a little while everyday just as a way of helping me? Because you love me? Please help me out, and think of a few ways we can spend some non-electronic time together so that I can stop feeling so bad about myself. Thanks so much, everyone–I knew you would understand the problems I’m having.”

If you phrase you request like this, your spouse and kids will probably feel bad for you and try very hard to help you out. After all, they love you.

But if you say, “WE need to change,” the defenses will go up and everyone will argue about why they don’t need to change.

And once the family has agreed to “help you feel better,” then be realistic about what you can do together. I personally think eating a family meal together is stressful, and your family might be the same way. And not everyone likes board games–I used to, but now I find the strategy games extremely frustrating because I don’t have any type of strategy-skills and I feel like a fool when I lose within 10 seconds.

You have to do what your family feels comfortable with. Some possible ideas are:
  1. Volunteering for a few hours at a local soup kitchen or perhaps make your own family charitable outreach by helping an elderly relative or neighbor do some lawn chores.
  2. Take a walk outdoors. Just a short walk around the block or through a park. No expectations–just walk and relax together.
  3. Visit a local tourist attraction that you’ve never been to.
  4. Do something crafty–dye Easter eggs, or once Easter is over, make something “springlike” for your home.
  5. Do some yardwork, or some other hated family chore (clean out the attic or garage, de-clutter the hall closet, etc.).
  6. Go to a live play or musical.
  7. SPORTS–get involved as spectators with a sport in your area. Try watching something traditional like a baseball game, or try something different like an ice skating show or a bowling tourney. Late April and early May is the traditional time for local spring ice shows at your local skating rink.
  8. Or play the sports yourselves if you are in good enough shape.
  9. Join the Y and go once a week as a family. You don’t all have to do the same thing once you’re at the Y, but when you’re all done, perhaps you can go out to a “healthy” restaurant (or bring a “healthy” picnic) .
  10. Get involved in politics as a family–go to a meeting of the political party of your choice. Or volunteer to help with the campaign of a local politician that you like. Any one of any age can stuff envelopes.
These are just some ideas off the top of my head. Maybe none of them will fit your family. Do what is good for you, not everyone else.

Have fun!
 
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