It is not just sports. Anything can be a false God. Drinking. Work. Working on the car. Working on the computer. In the final analysis, it is balance and priority.
All of my kids have been involved with sports and I have coached them but as a dad, it is up to my wife and I to keep balance and priority. What does that mean?
- Sunday is Mass first, and everything else second. Even when we have traveled for my son’s soccer tournaments, we have never missed Mass and he knows that if it is Mass or a game, the game loses.
- If there is a family event and sports, sports loses.
- If they want to play sports in school or recreationally, Church and school come first. That means not only do we get our schoolwork done and maintain grades, but they also must volunteer and be active at Chruch. Church and school are non-debateable, sports is optional.
And just to keep it real, sometimes it means that my son and daughter and I grab some junk food and watch the Eagles. Moderation and priority are the keys.
Sometimes people assume that when they see a person or a family who is passionately involved with something–sports, arts, academics, religion, etc.–that this person or family can’t possibly be balanced.
What I’ve seen happen is just the opposite–when someone is passionately involved with pursuing a dream–they learn to balance their lives better than the person who just drifts along through life.
My daughters were at the very top of their class, in spite of missing almost 30 days a year of school due to skating. They went to a college prep school, very competitive–and they learned to make use of all the little odds and ends of time between freestyles and during drives to and from the rink and even while sitting in the bathroom!–to study. They took AP courses; my older daughter was able to graduate a semester early from college because of high school AP credit.
Both girls were involved with extracurriculars at school. Both girls did Model UN. Both did spelling bee (my younger daughter won it one year and went to Regionals). Both did other sports. Both did lots of music and theater.
As for religion–at that time, we were not Catholic, so weekly church attendance was not an issue. Most evangelical Christians are involved with their church at least five days/nights a week, and we were typical! We were hyper-involved with our Evangelical Free Church. My older daughter was on the leadership committee (until she told them off and walked out when she was a Senior–she felt that they were planning all kinds of social activities and forgetting about God). My younger daughter had some problems with the Church (we suspect some kind of bad thing happened to her there–I’d rather not do details, please). But she went with us whenever we went to Church, and when I led the Children’s Choir, she was helping me.
Even after we were kicked out of our EFree church, my daughters continued to seek to know and follow Jesus Christ. For several years, both of them avoided any kind of church (I don’t blame them). My older daughter eventually converted to Catholicism, and my younger daughter goes to church with her husband when she can. She’s still very distrustful of “church” after what happened to our family.
I would say that the one thing in our lives that wasn’t “in balance” was our home. We didn’t eat at home very often (we weren’t home to eat there!). We didn’t really have much time to clean, repair, etc., but neither my husband or I are very adept at homemaking. In retrospect, if I had to change something about how we raised our daughters, I would have moved into a condo rather than a house, to avoid feeling guilty about letting our paint peel and our yard turn to weeds. We still both hate doing this kind of work, and I actually hire a maid now (I started doing this after my foot surgery because I couldn’t do the cleaning work, and now I’m spoiled.) We should probably move to a condo.
The other thing that was out-of-balance was the physical fitness level of myself and my husband. We tended to do a lot of sitting around at the rink or in the car, and it took its toll on our bodies. NOW we’re working out, and my husband skates most days. But now we’re 52, and it’s harder to see that the workout is making any difference, and now it hurts more to work out. If I had to do something differently, I would have found a way to do exercises in the rink while my kids skated. Some rinks actually have an exercise room overlooking the rink (so you can watch your kids skate). And the Petit Center in Milwaukee has a track (for running and walking) around the skating rink–cool!
So what I’m saying here is “Don’t jump to conclusions when you see someone living their passion. You might be wrong.” (Even the guy who supposedly spends all his time watching sports on TV might be an excellent dad who spends all the rest of his time raising his children well. Maybe the wife and kids are happy to give Dad a treat on Sundays and leave him in peace to enjoy his television sports.)
(that’s typically only if it’s the Steelers) 