Allergic to semen... Condoms okay?

[Mary_Gail_36]

Thank you all for your replies. I am getting good feedback here. For those that have suggested it, my God-daughter has spoken with her priest about it. He said to of course follow her doctor’s recommendation to use condoms to prevent contact with the allergen (he said he used a dust-mite pillow cover for the same reason.) This didn’t seem quite right to me. My niece’s reaction is severe and could become anaphylactic if she keeps exposing herself to semen. In fact, the doctor prescribed an epi pen for the possibility of an emergency. I am very worried about her, but I know I cannot give her false advice. I am checking on the links to alternative therapies to see if those might work for her.

For the poster that thought the topic was lewd, I apologize. Sexuality and health does not seem lewd to me when it is being discussed respectfully and without the intent to arouse indecent passions.

May I make one more suggestion? On www.ewtn.com there is a question and answer section where you can submit a question to Judie Brown and she will forward it to a Dr. Anthony Dardano who is a pro-life no contraception doctor. He might be able to at least point you in the correct direction.

The priest’s advice does not sit right with me either, especially when he referred to using a dust mite cover comapring it to condom use.

I’ve only ever heard of one legitamate use of a condom, a perforated condom to collect semen for fertility testing. It is licit because in fact there is a hole to allow for insemination.

I think on the first page of the thread are some other resources. You’ll get better answers probably from someone with both a solid medical background and a sexual ethic background.

Sometimes a regular parish priest might not be well versed on these issues. Personally, I had the experience on asking for advice on an ectopic pregnancy, and Father did not even know what it referred to. A priest i know who now works hospice care said that once he was reluctant to care for an aids patient, because he did not know how aids was spread (it was the 80’s). He went on to have a close friendship with the dying man.

 

[iloveangels]

So basically… they’re all out of luck? Bah!

No, see a better allergist.

 

[RolandSimms]

I believe this would be grounds for an annulment. Your niece’s husband would have every right to procure a civil divorce and pursue a decree of nullity.

 

[Castello]

Illness is not “grounds for an annulment”.

A marriage is valid or invalid at the time of exchange of consent.

ETA - if she knew about this condition and hid it to trick him into marriage, maybe. It does not seem that is what this young lady has done. They need to contact the Bioethics Center at the link I posted and go from there.

 

[RolandSimms]

Illness is not “grounds for an annulment”.

A marriage is valid or invalid at the time of exchange of consent.

ETA - if she knew about this condition and hid it to trick him into marriage, maybe. It does not seem that is what this young lady has done. They need to contact the Bioethics Center at the link I posted and go from there.

It’s not an illness. It’s a condition that makes it impossible for the man to have a normal sex life. He either harms his wife, or casts his soul into Hell by using condoms. I can’t think of a clearer case for annulment of the marriage.

 

[Slinger]

It’s not an illness. It’s a condition that makes it impossible for the man to have a normal sex life. He either harms his wife, or casts his soul into Hell by using condoms. I can’t think of a clearer case for annulment of the marriage.

I think this thread has reached the point of absurdity. Seriously people… Do you believe we have a gracious God or not?

 

[divinefaith]

I think this thread has reached the point of absurdity. Seriously people… Do you believe we have a gracious God or not?

Indeed!
Mentioning the couple could annul their marriage is something The OP seriously wouldn’t want to read. Very inconsiderate comment!

 

[RolandSimms]

I think this thread has reached the point of absurdity. Seriously people… Do you believe we have a gracious God or not?

The Roman Catholic Church is Christ’s church. The teachings on contraception are clear and infallible. God cannot show grace to those who willfully disobey.

 

[SaintPatrick333]

Read this:

allergycases.org/2008/07/semen-allergy-diagnosis-and-treatment.html

Her treatment plan is common. HOWEVER, if you keep reading, there are options. I would look for SKILLED doctors. Not just ones that can read the chapter from their medical book printed the year before they graduated.

I personally would look into that! Way before I’d be looking into a sexless marriage.

And if they didn’t work, I’d probably consider a condom, no spermicide with a tiny hole. Allowing sperm to pass! But not ALL of it. It just takes 1! Remaining open to life, NOT open to pain.

That is the same thing as using a condom. The fact that not ALL of the sperm passes would make it immoral. Because who is to say the one that would have made it didn’t because of the condom. Then they would have committed a mortal sin. That’s really dangerous. I would advise them to seek out a Priest as soon as possible and ask. I really can’t see condoms under any circumstance being justified.

 

[Slinger]

The Roman Catholic Church is Christ’s church. The teachings on contraception are clear and infallible. God cannot show grace to those who willfully disobey.

God can show grace to anyone for any situation. He knows what is in people’s hearts and what their true intentions are. If you deny that you probably need to examine your own heart.

 

[twoangels]

I think this thread has reached the point of absurdity. Seriously people… Do you believe we have a gracious God or not?

Can I say “like”?

 

[divinefaith]

Can I say “like”?

The thread did reach a point where there was a discussion on annullments and the current situation. I found this so rude.
As for what exactly the fellow poster means…I’m not sure.

 

[JDB823]

My God-daughter and niece confides in me quite a bit, and recently told me that she and her husband have resorted to using condoms because she is allergic to his semen. Apparently, she was getting a very bad inflammatory response to his ejaculate, and her allergy was diagnosed by an allergist and obgyn. She is 27 and has been married 7 months.the allergist told her to use condoms when being intimate with her husband. Apparently, when they want to have children, she can take a high dose of antihistamine and have sperm injected into her falopian tubes (or something.) I am worried that the use of condoms in this situation is still illicit, and that the whole situation makes it too easy to “plan” a family around one’s convenience. Ideas?

Get a better doctor. There is a treatment for this.

Fortunately, there is a desensitization treatment for semen allergy that is safe and effective. You need to do it under the supervision of an allergist or immunologist. It is called a “graded challenge” where diluted solutions of semen are placed in your vagina every twenty minutes until you are able to tolerate undiluted semen. The downside is that the couple has to have intercourse at least once every 48 hours to maintain the desensitization

psychologytoday.com/blog/you-it/200911/everything-you-never-wanted-know-about-semen-allergies

As for the condoms, I would take the advice of her priest over strangers on the internet. The clergy is a resource for the faithful. We are not Protestants who have an obligation to correctly discern their own doctrine. As long as she is not “priest shopping”, I would not worry.

 

[El_White]

My God-daughter and niece confides in me quite a bit, and recently told me that she and her husband have resorted to using condoms because she is allergic to his semen. Apparently, she was getting a very bad inflammatory response to his ejaculate, and her allergy was diagnosed by an allergist and obgyn. She is 27 and has been married 7 months.the allergist told her to use condoms when being intimate with her husband. Apparently, when they want to have children, she can take a high dose of antihistamine and have sperm injected into her falopian tubes (or something.) I am worried that the use of condoms in this situation is still illicit, and that the whole situation makes it too easy to “plan” a family around one’s convenience. Ideas?

I never heard of such a thing. Semen is not a pathogen. If she’s telling the truth, she’s not wife material, and her marriage should be annulled.

 

[RolandSimms]

God can show grace to anyone for any situation. He knows what is in people’s hearts and what their true intentions are. If you deny that you probably need to examine your own heart.

I do not deny that God knows what is in each person’s heart. However, the concept of sin is not subjective. If you know usage of condoms is a mortal sin, and you choose to use them anyway, you are rejecting God. It’s not “anything goes as long as your heart is in the right place.” One’s concience does NOT trump Church teaching.

 

[kelvinf]

[SIGN]This is really getting crazy![/SIGN]

 

[puppysocks]

I never heard of such a thing. Semen is not a pathogen. If she’s telling the truth, she’s not wife material, and her marriage should be annulled.

We all have gaps in our knowledge, but we have to remember that just because we’ve never heard of something doesn’t mean it is not real. There are many things that are not pathogens yet cause an allergic reaction in people (peanuts come to mind).

The OP’s niece went to her priest and, if I recall correctly, is also going to speak with the OP’s priest. From what I’ve read, and I will admit that I have only skimmed some posts, the niece is trying to live her live in accordance with the Catholic faith (hence going to the priest for advice). It is not the fault of the niece if the priest she went to told her that condom use was licit and she went by his advice. We all stumble sometimes and make mistakes. Suggesting that she is not “wife material” and that the marriage should be annulled due to an allergy is, frankly, disgusting.

To the OP, I hope your niece/god-daughter is able to get some advice and assistance for this allergy soon. I can imagine that it must be a tough spot to be in for all parties involved.

 

[iloveangels]

The thread did reach a point where there was a discussion on annullments and the current situation. I found this so rude.
As for what exactly the fellow poster means…I’m not sure.

Maybe they’re just sick of seeing the word “condoms.” LOL. I am.

 

[divinefaith]

Maybe they’re just sick of seeing the word “condoms.” LOL. I am.

Not an excuse to make such an unwelcome suggestion.
OP’s niece seems to have made a decision which obviously didn’t involve an annulment.

 

[iloveangels]

Not an excuse to make such an unwelcome suggestion.
OP’s niece seems to have made a decision which obviously didn’t involve an annulment.

Except that this is an online forum, not an ethics seminar or the conversation in the family. In a way, it serves them right for posting this kind of stuff here. This young lady really needs to find a good allergist and deal with this problem in an appropriate way.

My question is, as long as we’re talking about morals, does this young lady know that her relative has splashed all this intimate information about her butt end–and what she does with it–on the internet??? And if she knows, does that bother her or not? That’s a real ethics question pertinent to this forum.