Allowing my child to attend Protestant church with Grandparents

[Ral91]

It depends on what kind of protestant church, and whether they have “open communion.” I have seen very young children taking communion in a Baptist church and in non-denominational churches. In many of these types of churches, the only requirement is that you have asked Jesus to be your “personal Savior.” In churches like these, there are no classes or formal instruction on communion; rather, it is left to the parents to decide when their children are old enough to participate. It’s pretty rare that they would make anyone wait as late as age 12.

Really? I find that very odd. I haven’t met many very young children that would be able to understand all the reasons behind communion. Thank you for sharing this with me- I am bamboozled!

 

[Steveabrous]

I was just wondering why you would worry about 6 year old receiving communion? Perhaps this is just my own experience but I have never seen a 6 year old be allowed to take communion in a protestant church. I was raised in a Presbyterian Church and we were not allowed to take our first communion until the age of 12 after we had completed our year long study- it was called our Confession of Faith to The Lord.

!

I too was raised Presbyterian and yes the formation is more like the Catholic church in that you have to be a certain age. But a lot of protestant churches just pass the communion around and everyone old enough to chew solid food takes it

 

[Convert2013]

I had only mentioned the communion issue as I could see that as a possible scenario. I realize that I am a somewhat neurotic and protective father of my little girl. Like any parent all I want to do is guide and protect her. Life is confusing enough and to add more confusion to a child is a terrible thing.

I do have a good relationship with them for the most part. However, in the past they have been disrespectful of my wishes and instructions as it pertains to my daughter. Thus my fear and anxiety as she is getting older about confusing her. She’s a very smart little girl and even at the age of 4 she could see a difference in the churches.

Btw, the church is an Evangelical Congregational Church. I don’t mean any offense to the faith or any parishioners of the EC churches. The fact is I have never been to their current church. I have been to an EC church in the past as my step-father’s father was a pastor even though we attended a United Methodist Church when I was a teenager.

The biggest issue here is my daughter being at Mass and not missing it.

 

[nickybr38]

I had only mentioned the communion issue as I could see that as a possible scenario. I realize that I am a somewhat neurotic and protective father of my little girl. Like any parent all I want to do is guide and protect her. Life is confusing enough and to add more confusion to a child is a terrible thing.

I do have a good relationship with them for the most part. However, in the past they have been disrespectful of my wishes and instructions as it pertains to my daughter. Thus my fear and anxiety as she is getting older about confusing her. She’s a very smart little girl and even at the age of 4 she could see a difference in the churches.

Btw, the church is an Evangelical Congregational Church. I don’t mean any offense to the faith or any parishioners of the EC churches. The fact is I have never been to their current church. I have been to an EC church in the past as my step-father’s father was a pastor even though we attended a United Methodist Church when I was a teenager.

The biggest issue here is my daughter being at Mass and not missing it.

I hear ya.

Not all grandparents are respectful.

My mother is continually trying to ‘save’ my sister’s children. Only you know if they would respect your wishes or not and if you think they will sow confusion then you need to do all you can to prevent that.

 

[quiet52]

So if you allow your daughter to attend Protestant Sunday school now, when are you going to end it? It will only become more and more awkward to “change the rules” as time goes on. You need to set the precedent now. And yes, she WILL become confused.

Hopefully you and your daughter can attend Mass together while your parents attend their church. Or, if you two attend Sat. or Sun. evening Mass, maybe you can go to your grandparents’ home on Sunday mornings, while they attend their church service? Maybe you and your daughter can fix breakfast for their return home. Please make sure your daughter attends Sunday Mass every single week, with no exception except for sickness. This is essential for her proper formation in the faith. Also – if she attends both Mass and Protestant Sunday school, she will probably begin dreading both.

 

[ThyKingdomCome]

So the conflict on Saturday mornings is swim lessons - are these just for a few weeks in the summer? If so, then just wait until lessons are over, and do the sleep over then. If the lessons are ongoing throughout the year, then I’d miss a paid lesson before I’d send my child to a protestant service. I’d also consider a weeknight. There are easy summer schedules, national holidays, days off from work (if they both still work)… If a sleepover was important to me, I would definitely get creative about finding a time that didn’t require my child to go to their church.

 

[Deana83]

My spouse is a cradle Catholic. He said when he and his brothers were in grade school they went to a Protestant vacation bible school during the summer because at the time Catholics didn’t have those, at least around here. I suppose my MIL just wanted to get them out of the house so she could have a break. In any case, I attended Methodist church as a child, went to Lutheran vacation bible school, and other posters are right- There were no deep theological discussions, catholic bashing, or craziness going on. We read bible stories, talked about Jesus, and did crafts. I really don’t see how this would confuse or damage a child. I would think it would be best for them to learn tolerance for diversity at an earlier age so that you could clear up any confusion. I would think that at this point if you tell your child she can’t stay the night or attend services with her grandparents it’s going to build a sense of resentment and possibly rebellion later on. The reason I say this is because I have met many adult ex-Catholics who fell away from the faith because they said they’re parents were too rigid and intolerant. I think this is sad because Catholicism is a beautiful nurturing religion, rich in tradition and ritual. I’m hoping we can instill in our daughter that the moral teachings and faith is something she can cherish and embrace throughout her life- not something that will smother her.

 

[marymary2]

it would be helpful – if you asked the holy spirit and and got an answer for your particular family-- that would be answered prayer and not human intervention

Greek Orthodox and First Holy Communion
by Christina Strynatka, Demand Media

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First Communion in a Greek Orthodox church calls for slightly different rites and customs

First Communion in a Greek Orthodox church calls for slightly different rites and customs

While all Catholics partake in the holy sacrament of First Communion, also called the Eucharist, Greek Orthodox Catholics differ in a few ways: they have the Eucharist placed in their mouths instead of taking it by hand -

Roman Catholics can do either at their preference - and Greek Orthodox Catholics are served leavened bread.

However, the most distinct feature about Greek Orthodox First Communion is that it can be received any time after baptism, (sometimes at the same time)

not at the stringently-held threshold of ages 7-8 in the Roman Catholic Church.

 

[Buck_Crosswhite]

You couldn’t drag me into a protestant church with a bulldozer and I’d die before I’d let my children darken the door of a protestant church. The Pope says if you aren’t Catholic you aren’t Christian.

 

[philv]

I wouldn’t, because another church can attract someone depending on its bells and whistles. Prior to becoming catholic, I left a denominational church for a church that had rock and roll music. I was wow’d in. My suggestion is to invite his grandparents to visit his catholic church instead and see what they say. If they accept, they have a good heart and they’re still in church with their grandchild at the catholic one. If they reject, it’s possible they are trying to “save” their grandchild. Protestants feel the need to “save” Catholics, as I was taught that in a few protestant churches. I look back with a big question mark.

 

[PhiloMed]

I’ll throw my hat into this just to give my own personal experience.

I know some people are saying that you must make sure your daughter attends Mass but absolutely does not attend the Protestant service.

Here’s how my childhood went:

Every summer I would visit (for a few weeks) some cousins who were Protestant. My mother wouldn’t let me visit unless they promised to take me to Catholic services on Sunday. This meant dropping me off at the local Catholic church, picking me up, and then we all went to the Protestant service. Sometimes I would miss the protestant service and only attend the Catholic service. This rigidity in me attending mass was very well-intentioned, but honestly it made me hate my faith. Nothing about it was a choice or a joyful experience. It was lonely and alienating. As I got older and became a teenager we maintained the “you must attend mass” obligation in our home. This meant sometimes missing family events. Not being able to go to someone’s home because we had to attend mass. Again, all very well-intentioned.

The result? As soon as I got to college I didn’t darken the doorstep of a Catholic church. Mom would call me “did you get to church this weekend?” Um, yup. Sure.

It took about 10 years and a life crisis to bring me back to church.

Would it have been different if she wasn’t so rigid about it and I didn’t feel so isolated? Maybe. Just food for thought.

If this was my child I would let her stay with her grandparents. Let her go to the service with them and then try to get her to a mass with us as a family later on Sunday or on Saturday before she went to their home. If it meant missing that week then so be it.

 

[bitterhope]

I’ll throw my hat into this just to give my own personal experience.

I know some people are saying that you must make sure your daughter attends Mass but absolutely does not attend the Protestant service.

Here’s how my childhood went:

Every summer I would visit (for a few weeks) some cousins who were Protestant. My mother wouldn’t let me visit unless they promised to take me to Catholic services on Sunday. This meant dropping me off at the local Catholic church, picking me up, and then we all went to the Protestant service. Sometimes I would miss the protestant service and only attend the Catholic service. This rigidity in me attending mass was very well-intentioned, but honestly it made me hate my faith. Nothing about it was a choice or a joyful experience. It was lonely and alienating. As I got older and became a teenager we maintained the “you must attend mass” obligation in our home. This meant sometimes missing family events. Not being able to go to someone’s home because we had to attend mass. Again, all very well-intentioned.

The result? As soon as I got to college I didn’t darken the doorstep of a Catholic church. Mom would call me “did you get to church this weekend?” Um, yup. Sure.

It took about 10 years and a life crisis to bring me back to church.

Would it have been different if she wasn’t so rigid about it and I didn’t feel so isolated? Maybe. Just food for thought.

If this was my child I would let her stay with her grandparents. Let her go to the service with them and then try to get her to a mass with us as a family later on Sunday or on Saturday before she went to their home. If it meant missing that week then so be it.

This is wise. I agree Catholicism can most definitely be pushed too hard on kids and that is a huge turn off. I’ve attended Protestant services and my kids often go to a neighbor’s VBS at their church (usually Baptist). We are 100% Catholic and my kids are in no danger of losing their faith. I don’t need to remind them that we need to go to Mass, it is something they know we must do, but they also understand WHY me must do so. As parents we need to instill a love for the Mass in our kids’ hearts, not force them to do something just because they must. Protestants are our brothers and sisters in Christ. No, they don’t hold the whole truth as we do, but they are not evil and demented souls that must be avoided like the plague. My kids take the good of what they learn at VBS (Bible verses, morals, Jesus’s love for all, etc.) and they use that to better live out the Beatitudes. My older kids are very involved in Catholic youth ministries and go to Adoration on their own an hour each week. Don’t turn things in this world into the forbidden fruit.

A former priest of mine told us about how he attended Seventh Day Adventist church on Saturdays with his grandparents and Catholic Mass with his parents on Sunday. Attending a non catholic service doesn’t always mean leaving the Church.

 

[Allegra]

Couldn’t you just get there early the next morning and pick her up? If they aren’t even going to be with your daughter during church, I don’t see the value of her going with them. It would be one thing if they were going as a family, but if they’re just dumping her in “kid check” then there’s no point and you might as well pick he up and take her home. On the other hand, I highly doubt that there will be anything harmful taught in Sunday school. My only concern would be whether or not the program is adequently supervised and by whom.

 

[Joe_5859]

Old thread alert!

This thread is a year old.

 

[true1]

Wow. You have so many concerns about this, perhaps you should just avoid the whole “protestant Sunday school” thing any way you can.

I mean, your child was handed off to a stranger?? Buffet religion? Anti-Catholic indoctrination? What a nightmare.

I’m kidding, of course.

Sunday school is usually taught by well meaning women who love teaching little ones about Jesus, whether we know them personally or not, the church has deemed them qualified.

Even Catholics consider carefully different parishes that may be a better fit for their families or schedules, or driving distance etc.

And, my dear, children in Sunday school are too busy painting little pictures of lambs, singing songs about Jesus ( “Jesus loves me yes I know, for the Bible tells me so!”) and memorizing quotes from the scriptures to be concerned about religious prejudice. Not to mention sharing cookies and juice together.

Perhaps they can learn that kind of tolerance at home, too.