Almost giving up

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Monica4316

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Please pray for me, because I’m going through extreme spiritual anguish right now. I made a resolution to not sin any more and repented of my sins, and felt peace for a while but now I’m feeling so much pain and anxiety, I’m afraid God doesn’t want to forgive me any more, because I have offended Him a lot while He’s given me so much. I feel my love for God is so weak and if I only loved Him more and was more repentant and didn’t make excuses for my sins in the past, I wouldn’t have fallen so low. I don’t deserve to be forgiven… but I want to be with Him so much. I’m afraid this will never end. Please say a prayer for me 😦 I’m in a lot of pain… I’m afraid that all is lost and God has given up on me.
 
Thank you…

I never thought I could experience such suffering. It is like I’m already in hell. Either it’s true that there’s no hope for me, or I’m going through a dark night of some sort… I only read about that in books by the Saints but I’m scared that in my case, it’s not a dark night, because I’m not as holy as the Saints; I’m a sinner. For this reason it seems more probable to me that I am lost. Please pray that God would have mercy on me…I know that He answers prayer.

I feel that I’m sinning even when I’m just being tempted… I don’t want to dwell on temptations because when I do this, I don’t show a strong resolution to not sin anymore, and my love for God is very weak, and I shouldn’t sin presuming that God will forgive me… He has given me so much and I repay Him only with my sins and misery, I’m already afraid that I’ve angered Him so much that there’s no more mercy for me.

I found a passage in St Faustina’s diary, and although I’m sure her sufferings were not related to sin (unlike mine…) the way it’s described is very similar… St Faustina pray for me
 
Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven. Matthew 18:21-22
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We are asked to forgive others no matter how many times they wrong us. Is not God even more forgiving than we? You can trust in God’s love and forgiveness. And, you can trust that God will fill you with grace and strength. Jesus will never give up on you.

None of us deserves to be forgiven. It is a gracious gift from a loving and understanding God, offered to everyone, especially to you.
 
that is true…thank you… despite all this I still want to trust in God
 
Monica,
If you are a mature christian, and it sounds as if you are, then stop making promises you know you cannot keep “…never to sin again…” what is up with that? Humans, by our nature are prone to sin, despite our deepest desire not to. Remember St. Pauls statement in the Bible, “I do what I do not want to do, and do not do what I want to do” - parapharse.

“I still want to trust in GOD”, what kind of a statement is that? Either you do or you don’t. To be a mature christian you need to think in absolutes and affirmatives. GOD does exist, not maybe. GOD does love me, not maybe. I am a sinner, not maybe. GOD has given me the sacrament of confession when I fall. Heaven and hell are my choice, as free will is given to me by GOD.

Read the lives of the saints and learn how they pursued the practice of NOT sinning. What did they do, to stop their behaviors that were offensive to GOD? Sainthood takes practice. You need to practice NOT sinning. Whatever the triggers are that cause you to sin, you need to be proactive in removing them from your environment, books, videos, TV’s, CD’s, boy friends, girl friends, bar’s, movies, etc etc. Jesus said, “It is better that you lose your right hand, then enter the fires of gehena” - paraphrase. So, what of the above is your “right hand”, cut it out of your life, and practice NOT sinning.
 
I think that making a resolution to not sin is not the same as promising not to sin… shouldn’t we make this resolution each time we go to Confession? it’s in the Act of Contrition…

the only thing I can think of that’s leading me to sin right now is allowing temptation (to these thoughts, to pride, to jealousy, impatience, to whatever). I don’t hang around people who cause me to sin, I don’t watch tv or go to bars. But I do allow temptations in my thoughts and I’m making a resolution to not put myself into temptation anymore. That in itself is a sin… and hopefully avoiding temptation will also help me to avoid sinning.

Another thing is worry and fear, and I really want to work on that.
 
My dear sweet friend, the Lord is with you! This suffering you feel…how you can use it for His good is just unfathomable! I have been where you are, and I know that every little bit of pain we feel is for the souls who are suffering even more than us. Don’t allow anguish to win! Instead say, Thank you Jesus for this pain - Do with me what you will. And He will. Oh, how He will!! You are close in my prayers; the angels are with you, your Heavenly Mother is interceding…and Jesus will never leave you. He looks on you with Love and always shall!!

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thine intercession was left unaided.

Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my mother; to thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer me. Amen.

Psalm 9:9
The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.

Psalm 18:2
The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the hornof my salvation, my stronghold.

The Lord is my shepherd…
 
OPne of the things that helps me through times like you are describing, which come more often than I wish they would, is to constantly pray that God’s will might be done. That everything I go through might be for the will of God. I have times when I almost doubt the truth of God and want nothing more than to “shuffle off this mortal coil”, but at those times I tell my Lord that I will endure despite my will that HIS will might be done.

This also is a great aid to me:
O SWEET JESUS
O Sweet Jesus, I desire neither life, nor death, but Your most holy will. You are the One, O Lord, that I long for. If it be Your holy will to have me die, receive my soul; and grant that in You and with You, I may receive everlasting rest. If it be Your holy will to have me live longer upon this earth, give me the grace to amend the rest of my life, and with good works to glorify Your Holy Name.
Amen.
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Keep striving to become holy. None of us are worthy of God’s love, but He gave it to us anyways! Jesus is proof of that!

Praying for you Monica4316 …
 
Today at Mass our priest gave his homily on the parable of the ‘Prodigal Son’.
The homily was entirely about God’s forgiveness for us is unconditional and once a sin
has been forgiven we are to forget about it and not keep recalling it.
Somewhat like being a parent.When our child does wrong and says sorry we forgive
unconditionally (we don’t remind them of any other times they have done things wrong), because we love our child.Imagine the love God has for us!!!

Monica you are quite right when you say at confession we say the act of contrition…I
will try to never sin again, TRY being the optimum word.We are human,our very nature is not perfect.We can only strive to be as Christ-like as possible love one another as Jesus taught
us…but we are never going to be able to be perfect all of the time!!! Only God is perfect all of the time:D
Monica you are a wonderful caring person.Just pray as often as possible,go speak to your priest again for guidance and rely on God’s forgiveness when we err.He expects us to err but to go to confession to seek His forgiveness.
God blessxxx

A Novena Prayer to the Sacred Heart of Jesus
Sacred Heart of Jesus, we know that there is but one thing impossible to You: to be without pity for those who are in suffering or distress. Look down on us, we beg of You and grant us the grace which we humbly and earnestly implore, through the Immaculate Heart of Your most sorrowful Mother to whom You confided us as her children, and whose prayers are all powerful with You. Amen.
 
Monica,

I pray that God grant you peace of mind and heart.

If you haven’t already visited with a Spiritual Director, you might want to consider seeing one.

Lenten blessings,
Kathleen
 
Monica4316 said:
I think that making a resolution to not sin is not the same as promising not to sin… shouldn’t we make this resolution each time we go to Confession? it’s in the Act of Contrition…

the only thing I can think of that’s leading me to sin right now is allowing temptation (to these thoughts, to pride, to jealousy, impatience, to whatever). I don’t hang around people who cause me to sin, I don’t watch tv or go to bars. But I do allow temptations in my thoughts and I’m making a resolution to not put myself into temptation anymore. That in itself is a sin… and hopefully avoiding temptation will also help me to avoid sinning.

Another thing is worry and fear, and I really want to work on that.
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**Monica,
We are all tempted and distrupted by “thoughts” that interfer with our prayer, our attitude, our whole life. I have adapted the prayer to St. Michael The Archangel to help me NOT to sin when those thouhts come. I found that this prayer helps me refocus and whatever issue or devil was tempting me, it leaves. It may come back, but I say the prayer again and continue to do so, everytime I realize my thoughts are on the wrong thing. Here is the adaptation:

St. Michael the Archangel, defend ME at this “MY moment of battle”. Protect ME against the wickedness and snares of the devils who wander THIS ROOM, and this world seeking the ruin of MY soul and all souls, in JESUS name, I pray

That prayer makes my mental struggle current for the moment it is happening. Current for the environment I am in. And calls on JESUS to help me, along with St. Michael. Whenever you have those temptations again, recognize that at that moment in time, you are entering into battle. Your soul is being tested. DO NOT go the test alone, call on St. Michael to assist you in defeating your foe and winning the battle at that moment. Another will come, and fight it the same way.**
 
tbcrawford said:
Today at Mass our priest gave his homily on the parable of the 'Prodigal Son". The homily was entirely about God’s forgiveness for us is unconditional and once a sin has been forgiven we are to forget about it and not keep recalling it.

Somewhat like being a parent.When our child does wrong and says sorry we forgive unconditionally (we don’t remind them of any other times they have done things wrong), because we love our child. Imagine the love God has for us!!! …
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:bible1:
Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace,
whose mind is stayed on thee:
because he trusteth in thee.
Isaiah 26:3

It is very important for each of us as God’s children to focus on **God **and center our thoughts on Him as our forgiving and merciful ❤️ loving Saviour . . . rather than to focus upon ourselves and our many (for all of us) human weaknesses . . . if we are to stay spiritually and mentally healthy . . . as we continue to grow as His beloved ❤️ children saved by His grace . . . Reading, praying and meditating upon the Psalms in **Sacred :bible1: Scripture **is very helpful in drawing our thoughts and focus up to God leaving “self” behind . . . just taking a little portion at a time and also occassionally memorizing portions can be a wonderful help for the soul’s health . . . this is a very wholesome healthy way of allowing God’s holy thoughts and **His Great Kindness of Presence ** with you to become the constant first focus in your heart ❤️ and thoughts . . . for example . . .
:bible1:
**The
23rd Psalm **
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The
**LORD **
is my
shepherd;
I shall not want.
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He maketh me to lie down in
green pastures:
**he **leadeth me beside the
still waters.
He restoreth my soul:
he leadeth me
in the paths of righteousness
for his name’s sake.
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Yea,
though I walk through the valley
of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil:
for **thou **art with me;
thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
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Thou
preparest a table before me
in the presence of mine enemies:
**thou **
anointest my head with oil;
my cup runneth over.
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Surely
goodness and mercy
❤️
shall follow me all the days of my life:
and I will dwell
in the house of the
**Lord **
for ever.
+
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. . . all for Jesus+
. . . thank you Holy Mother Mary+
. . . thank you Holy Mother Church+​
 
Our Father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name;
thy kingdom come
thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread
and forgive us our trespasses
as we forgive those who trespass against us
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
Amen.
 
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