Altar girls, jeans, and Crocs

[Matariel]

Today was Good Friday. As everyone went up to venerate the cross (a plain, empty cross) two altar girls were to the sides. As I went up to kiss the cross, I noticed once again distracting fact that the girls, underneath their albs (which were too short, only about knee-length) they were wearing jeans and pink and lime green Croc shoes. Throughout the service, I found I couldn’t concentrate due to that.

What’s worse, is, last Sunday (Passion Sunday) they did the same thing. They never wear anything formal, you can always see their jeans and shoes and sometimes athletic pants.

Sigh. It’s super-distracting, and, even worse, tomorrow is Easter Vigil, when we join the Church. If they wear that get-up again… well, I just can’t stand it.

Does anyone know of any way I can kindly inform someone about how distracting this is to the Mass, and actually effect change?

Sorry if this seems like such a minor issue, but I find it unbelievingly distracting.

Any thoughts?

 

[WhollyRoamin]

Today was Good Friday. As everyone went up to venerate the cross (a plain, empty cross) two altar girls were to the sides. As I went up to kiss the cross, I noticed once again distracting fact that the girls, underneath their albs (which were too short, only about knee-length) they were wearing jeans and pink and lime green Croc shoes. Throughout the service, I found I couldn’t concentrate due to that.

What’s worse, is, last Sunday (Passion Sunday) they did the same thing. They never wear anything formal, you can always see their jeans and shoes and sometimes athletic pants.

Sigh. It’s super-distracting, and, even worse, tomorrow is Easter Vigil, when we join the Church. If they wear that get-up again… well, I just can’t stand it.

Does anyone know of any way I can kindly inform someone about how distracting this is to the Mass, and actually effect change?

Sorry if this seems like such a minor issue, but I find it unbelievingly distracting.

Any thoughts?

It is not a minor issue. But I don’t think there’s anything that we can do to affect change except for to call the parish and say that you want to be taken off the parish rolls (and to quit sending your contribution envelopes), because you’re going to switch to a Tridentine parish who shows proper respect for serving at the altar of the Lord.

It’s a very sad call to make. But I don’t know of any other way.

 

[Matariel]

It is not a minor issue. But I don’t think there’s anything that we can do to affect change except for to call the parish and say that you want to be taken off the parish rolls (and to quit sending your contribution envelopes), because you’re going to switch to a Tridentine parish who shows proper respect for serving at the altar of the Lord.

It’s a very sad call to make. But I don’t know of any other way.

 

[RUINATION_IPA]

go to the TLM and all these abuses disappear!

 

[als10062008]

Has the priest ever discussed it or are there policies? I think the parish could benefit from a very kind worded letter that would suggest a policy on what to wear for serving, lectoring, and as an EM. Our priest sometimes has to make an announcement that folks are getting too casual in what they wear when they serve.

The priest may be thinking the same thing you are, but without a rule, he may not have much to do about it. Creating the rule would set the precedent to enforce it.

 

[agapewolf]

Today was Good Friday. As everyone went up to venerate the cross (a plain, empty cross) two altar girls were to the sides. As I went up to kiss the cross, I noticed once again distracting fact that the girls, underneath their albs (which were too short, only about knee-length) they were wearing jeans and pink and lime green Croc shoes. Throughout the service, I found I couldn’t concentrate due to that.

What’s worse, is, last Sunday (Passion Sunday) they did the same thing. They never wear anything formal, you can always see their jeans and shoes and sometimes athletic pants.

Sigh. It’s super-distracting, and, even worse, tomorrow is Easter Vigil, when we join the Church. If they wear that get-up again… well, I just can’t stand it.

Does anyone know of any way I can kindly inform someone about how distracting this is to the Mass, and actually effect change?

Sorry if this seems like such a minor issue, but I find it unbelievingly distracting.

Any thoughts?

You are distracted because of someone’s shoes? Honestly, please keep it in perspective.

Should they be dressed nicely? yes
Does dressing nicer show effort for the Lord? Yes

I’m not arguing that with you.

But where does the distraction fault lie? Really? I just went to stations of the cross and I couldn’t tell you what anyone was wearing, including the servers (I know they were in white albs, but thats all). Perhaps you can help this yourself by not concentrating on other’s clothing.

And as someone just called it an “abuse” I don’t agree. This is a societal standard of respectful dress, but there was no reference to the liturgy being tampered with.

 

[dixibehr]

go to the TLM and all these abuses disappear!

There will just be abuses of another kind.

I would not call the altar servers wearing too-short albs, jeans, and inappropriate shoes an abuse, just bad manners. Ultimately, it’s the parent’s fault.

 

[Matariel]

Has the priest ever discussed it or are there policies? I think the parish could benefit from a very kind worded letter that would suggest a policy on what to wear for serving, lectoring, and as an EM. Our priest sometimes has to make an announcement that folks are getting too casual in what they wear when they serve.

The priest may be thinking the same thing you are, but without a rule, he may not have much to do about it. Creating the rule would set the precedent to enforce it.

That sounds like a good idea. Perhaps I will write a letter. But I would feel bad, 'cause I feel I’m just joining God’s Church, and what right do I have to ask for amendments in the way that parish celebrates the Mass? Perhaps I should write the letter anonymously?

 

[als10062008]

You could write it anonymously, that’s not a bad way to go. That would make it more comfortable for you and the priest. Be as nice as you can in the letter. The priest probably feels the same way you do, and even with a policy in place, there are still going to be servers and parents who let things slide. But by writing the letter, you’ll feel better. And by being as polite as you can in writing, the priest will be more agreeable to seeing you POV.

 

[Brian777]

There will just be abuses of another kind.

I would not call the altar servers wearing too-short albs, jeans, and inappropriate shoes an abuse, just bad manners. Ultimately, it’s the parent’s fault.

If they are serving Holy Week, I hope they are old enough to dress themselves, therefor it is their fault. This partially why my pastor uses only male highschool acolytes to serve Christmas, Holy Week, etc, they will look better plain and simple.

To the OP, I know something you can do you can tell the girls to their faces they are not showing proper respect for the occasiion, the Lord, or their fellow parishioners. When mommy and daddy cry to you that “you cant reprimand my daughter blah blah!” just remember that instructing the ignorant is a spiritual work of mercy

 

[agapewolf]

Anonymous letters come so easily, and frankly, priests just throw them away.

If you want to say something, have the guts to put your name on it.

 

[Carjack1]

 

[Matariel]

Anonymous letters come so easily, and frankly, priests just throw them away.

If you want to say something, have the guts to put your name on it.

Why would they just throw them away? Isn’t that unbecoming a priest?

 

[tiggeriffic]

There is so much going on in this thread - wow.

First of all, I have to ask - why are you in church if you are distracted by what the server is wearing. The focus should be on worship and the Eucharist - not what people are wearing. I took a non Catholic to mass last night and he told me he was uncomfortable - not because he was not familiar with the responses and such, but because others were staring at him because he was not doing them. I was greatly embarrassed. We should be focused on God at mass, not each other.

Secondly - this is not an “abuse”. Call it irreverent, rude, etc - but it is not an abuse.

Thirdly - Do you know the family? Are they able to afford the fancy clothes you think they should be wearing?

Fourth - As a former youth minister and current high school teacher, I am often very glad youth are in church and really dont care what they are wearing as long as it covers what it should be covering. Getting them there and engaged is far more important. I just had this conversation with a colleague on Wednesday. As a man in my mid thirties - I often wear dress pants and a polo for work and occasionally a button down shirt. On days we have mass at school I wear a tie because the students are required to do the same. A fellow teacher who is in his 60’s wears a tie every day and adds a sports coat on mass days. We were talking about how it is generational. He mentioned his father would wear a suit every Sunday for church. So, there are three generations - suit - tie and coat - tie. The younger generation just does not dress up - working with them I know this and I am glad they are in church.

And lastly - please do not write anything to the pastor anonymously. Like another poster said, if you feel it is important then put your name to it. When I worked in parish work - anonymous letters were trashed.

 

[agapewolf]

Why would they just throw them away? Isn’t that unbecoming a priest?

unbecoming? no way. It’s actually quite 'becoming" because they know whats up. I don’t think you quite understand what priests go through and have to listen to. Everybody’s got an opinion about how things should be done, and half the time, they aren’t in accordance with the way the church says it should be done.

A letter that doesn’t have a name to it means nothing. It is straight out manipulation. If a person doesn’t have the guts to sign it, means the writer doesn’t think its that important. means they don’t want their name attached to that opinion… means that they don’t want to hear that possibly there’s more to the story than they know about.

 

[Catholic90]

So…instead of complaining, why don’t you VOLUNTEER and organize the altar server program?

It is so easy to complain, but no one ever wants to step up and do the work.

And don’t send anonymous letters. Anonymous letters come from cowards.

 

[BayernAnhaenger]

You are distracted because of someone’s shoes? Honestly, please keep it in perspective.

Should they be dressed nicely? yes
Does dressing nicer show effort for the Lord? Yes

I’m not arguing that with you.

But where does the distraction fault lie? Really? I just went to stations of the cross and I couldn’t tell you what anyone was wearing, including the servers (I know they were in white albs, but thats all). Perhaps you can help this yourself by not concentrating on other’s clothing.

And as someone just called it an “abuse” I don’t agree. This is a societal standard of respectful dress, but there was no reference to the liturgy being tampered with.

Crocs and jeans are “a societal standard of respectful dress?”

Vomits

In what society do you live?

 

[agapewolf]

Crocs and jeans are “a societal standard of respectful dress?”

Vomits

In what society do you live?

What are you talking about? You completely misunderstood me, or wanted to misunderstand me.

No, its not a societal standard.

In general"THIS" meaning, the topic at hand, in which there are societal standards of respectful dress (such as skirts, etc) …but the liturgy wasn’t mentioned as being tampered with.

And no need to be so crass, especially on Good Friday. THAT was really tasteless.

 

[BayernAnhaenger]

What are you talking about? You completely misunderstood me, or wanted to misunderstand me.

No, its not a societal standard.

In general"THIS" meaning, the topic at hand, in which there are societal standards of respectful dress (such as skirts, etc) …but the liturgy wasn’t mentioned as being tampered with.

And no need to be so crass, especially on Good Friday. THAT was really tasteless.

Well, technically, it’s Holy Saturday where I am.

You said:
And as someone just called it an “abuse” I don’t agree. This is a societal standard of respectful dress, but there was no reference to the liturgy being tampered with.

Sounded like you said crocs were the dress.

 

[SMHW]

It seems to me that if the parish wants to have standards for the altar servers then the parish would have set some. So I don’t think the girls are the problem. The short albs would certainly be the fault of the parish, not the girls.

As far as jeans go, I usually don’t buy my girls any pants other than jeans. I’ve long since stopped buying them clothing to be reserved for Sundays. My guess is that most parents feel the same. (Maybe not here on this very conservative forum, but Catholic parents in general.)

Colorful crocs seem a bit much but again, if the parish has not given any directives… The girls were probably told to wear shoes comfortable for standing. In my parish altar servers are directed to wear sandals as is the Franciscan tradition but they are usually permitted to wear closed shoes in cold weather.