I would steer your daughter into other ways to serve the Church. Your daughter sounds wonderful. I’m sure she’ll understand the Church’s ancient tradition if explained to her. There are countless other ways she can work for the Church.
In Sept. 2006, Fr. Greg J. Markey, a parish priest at St. Mary’s Church in Norwalk, CT changed his policy to male-only altar servers. (This was back when there was only the Ordinary Form of the Mass!) He wrote a letter to his parishioners, which I thought was so well articulated, that I would post it here as well. He had taken a lot of heat for his decision when announced but not so much anymore. Please pray for brave priests like him!
Here is his letter;
stmarynorwalk.net/faqbox.html
Q: “Why does St. Mary’s reserve altar serving to boys alone?”
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by Fr. Greg J. Markey
"Perhaps the most serious practical problem facing the Catholic Church in the United States today is the lack of priestly vocations. Without priests we do not have the Sacraments, and without the Sacraments, our salvation is in jeopardy.
It is God who mysteriously calls young men to be priests, and then the surrounding culture, most specifically good Catholic families, bring that seed to fruition. Outside of the family, one of the most important cultural influences that promotes priestly vocations is to serve as an altar boy.
For thousands of years serving as an altar boy has been an apprenticeship for priesthood, even before the Church had seminaries. Boys were taught the details of the Mass, why the priest does what he does, and a fraternal bond of trust grew between the boys and the priest. The result was that many a priest discovered his calling while serving as an altar boy.
In 1994 Rome allowed girls to serve as altar servers for the first time. The document states that priests are not compelled to have altar girls, but may have them “for specific local reasons”. As we know most parishes here in the U.S. decided to have altar girls in order to get them involved, or to show the Church’s openness to “equal opportunity”.
Nonetheless there were some unforeseen results to this permission that have caused many priests to now question the wisdom of this decision. While equal opportunity is a noble sentiment, the bond between priest and the boys has now been lessened. A strong fraternity of altar boys in close association with the priest is indispensable in inviting young men to meaningful consideration of a priestly vocation. There is also a certain awkwardness in teaching girls to take pride in a job that will never come to fruition, since they will never be able to become priests.
When I went back and read the document I noticed that it also made numerous statements supporting the continued use of altar boys: “At the same time, however, the Holy See wishes to recall that it will always be very appropriate to follow the noble tradition of having boys serve at the altar. As is well known, this has led to a reassuring development of priestly vocations. Thus the obligation to support such groups of altar boys will always continue.”
Pope John Paul II in 2004 accordingly encouraged priests to show a special concern for altar boys, saying that they “represent a kind of ‘garden’ of priestly vocations” and that their service at the altar can be “a valuable experience of Christian education and become a kind of pre-seminary”.
Therefore after much prayer, reading and discussion, I have decided that in the future we will only be inviting boys to serve as altar servers, for the primary reason of promoting priestly vocations. Those girls who are currently serving are welcome to continue serving as long as they like. Finally, so as to encourage the participation of the girls in the parish, I will be starting a group called the Handmaids of the Altar, who will help with the flowers, the linens, and the sacristy. As Sister Eileen and Sr. Rita pointed out, both of them discerned their vocations to the sisterhood by belonging to this type of club.
For some this is a decision which will be difficult to understand. Certainly the spirit of the society in which we live will not accept this. Yet this has nothing to do with equal rights. Men and women are equal in the eyes of God, and each has different gifts which should be allowed to develop in their proper environment.
Experience has shown that women generally do not need as much encouragement to be involved in the Church. All you have to do is look at Sunday Mass attendance, the religious education teachers, or parish volunteers, and one will easily notice that the majority of people active in parish life are women.
However, I think that boys and men need special encouragement to help them develop a lifelong relationship with Jesus Christ and the Church. Therefore having a group of boys set apart will help develop that bond with the Church, preparing them for their vocation, whatever it may be.
If anyone has difficulty with this decision I ask you to reflect on what I have written here and to pray about it. You are welcome to write or visit me to voice your concerns. You can also contact Deacon Steve Genovese who is in charge of the altar servers. My motivation here is to try to do what is right for the Church.
May our Lady, whose son is the eternal high priest, pray for the boys of St. Mary Church, that we may all be here one day to witness of the first Mass of one of our altar boys.
Sincerely in Christ,
Fr. Greg J. Markey
Pastor
and also read:
ewtn.com/library/LITURGY/ALTBYHOM.TXT