Am I a bad Catholic?

[Tiffany_M_S]

My name is Tiffany, and on April 23rd, 2011, I was confirmed Catholic. I am twenty-six.

Becoming Catholic was a personal choice for me, and before I state my problem, allow me to explain my situation.

I was baptized Methodist. I went for a couple years, and it was rather nice. I knew the people, I loved to hear the sermons, and, after a while, it was quite comfortable for me. But I fell away. Somehow, I knew this wasn’t enough.

After a time, I was drawn to the Catholic Church. I felt a quiet awe about the religion. It’s dignified and righteous without being self-righteous. I felt a pull. It was more of a small tug, a tug at my heart, saying, “Go. I know you’re curious, little one. Find out what is there. You might even like it.”

So I went. The first six months was nerve wracking. I felt that everybody was looking at me and could see my sins pasted all over my body for all to see. I fell away several times, but after several days of thought, I went back.

I made friends with the deacon there, and grew very close to him and his wife. They were kind to me, and welcomed me. It was as though I had made a family.

However, my problem is this: I am not on fire for Jesus or my faith. I love the Church, Jesus, God, Mary, and all that is there, but my faith is quiet. I feel a strong sense of inner peace, but I can never remember the homily. It’s not that it’s boring. It just isn’t memorable.

I wish I would do more to make my faith a part of my outer life, but life gets in the way. There is something to do or people to see, and I get tired.

My faith offers a strength for me that I can’t describe. It is quiet, calm, and patient. I feel a strong sense of inner pride that I am Catholic. However, I am not passionate about my faith.

I guess I’m different. I feel peace from my faith, a deep peace that nothing else can really provide. It’s like when Jesus was asleep on the fishing boat, and there was a storm. His disciples were drowning, and begged him to help them. Jesus calmed the storm, and comforted his men by saying, “I’m here. Why do you doubt me? I will always be here. I will be here through every storm of life you encounter. Stop being afraid. I will protect you. Have faith.”

I have since stopped blaming God for all my problems, and I want to find a way to be closer to him. But how? Nothing seems to interest me.

I’m trying to read the Bible from cover to cover, to see if I can’t find some answers to my problems. After all, the Bible is a life lesson in how we should act, feel, and behave. To me, it is more than walking with Christ. It’s walking through life, one step at a time.

The peace I feel when thinking about Catholicism is different from anything else I’ve ever felt. But I’ve reached about as deep as I can go in myself, alone, and I cannot feel the delirious fervor that I once felt for God when I was in junior high.

I need a resource that can help me pull through this. I detest that I am luke-warm in my faith, and I have a strong desire to change that.

I know that Jesus is calling me. I live on disability, so I really should go to Mass more often.

Am I a bad Catholic? And can anyone provide me with a resource that will strengthen my love for God?

 

[Contra_Mundum_1]

Hi Tiffany!

Congrats on becoming Catholic. It is wonderful to hear that you have gained that inner peace and that you love the church. As for being on fire, don’t beat yourself up about this. We can’t always be in that state of spiritual high. It comes and goes, and comes again. Feelings should not be relied upon when it comes to faith. I’ve been experiencing exactly the same thing over the years and have got used to it. It is important to go to confession often and to regularly receive the Eucharist. That is central to being Catholic and it will keep you close to God. I would also recommend eucharistic adoration. It is a wonderful devotion that always bears fruit. Pray, read or simply sit in front of the blessed sacrament. Another thing that could help you feel more connected is to go on a pilgrimage. That always helps me reinforce my Catholic identity and it feeds me spiritually.

God bless.

 

[Dorothy]

Tiffany,

It is true that feelings do not determine whether you are doing the right thing. You said that you feel inner peace and are happy being a Catholic, but you feel you want to be passionate about it. Feelings cannot be forced, they are just feelings. As long as we continue to pray and receive the Sacraments with the desire to be more like Jesus we are on the right track.

It would be good if you could talk to a priest about this, and come to the realization that it is not necessary to always be “high” about your faith.

In all your activities in your life you can show the love of God to others. And, there can be times where you can learn more about your faith with like-minded people.

 

[FidesSpesCarita]

My name is Tiffany, and on April 23rd, 2011, I was confirmed Catholic. I am twenty-six.

Becoming Catholic was a personal choice for me, and before I state my problem, allow me to explain my situation.

I was baptized Methodist. I went for a couple years, and it was rather nice. I knew the people, I loved to hear the sermons, and, after a while, it was quite comfortable for me. But I fell away. Somehow, I knew this wasn’t enough.

After a time, I was drawn to the Catholic Church. I felt a quiet awe about the religion. It’s dignified and righteous without being self-righteous. I felt a pull. It was more of a small tug, a tug at my heart, saying, “Go. I know you’re curious, little one. Find out what is there. You might even like it.”

So I went. The first six months was nerve wracking. I felt that everybody was looking at me and could see my sins pasted all over my body for all to see. I fell away several times, but after several days of thought, I went back.

I made friends with the deacon there, and grew very close to him and his wife. They were kind to me, and welcomed me. It was as though I had made a family.

However, my problem is this: I am not on fire for Jesus or my faith. I love the Church, Jesus, God, Mary, and all that is there, but my faith is quiet. I feel a strong sense of inner peace, but I can never remember the homily. It’s not that it’s boring. It just isn’t memorable.

I wish I would do more to make my faith a part of my outer life, but life gets in the way. There is something to do or people to see, and I get tired.

My faith offers a strength for me that I can’t describe. It is quiet, calm, and patient. I feel a strong sense of inner pride that I am Catholic. However, I am not passionate about my faith.

I guess I’m different. I feel peace from my faith, a deep peace that nothing else can really provide. It’s like when Jesus was asleep on the fishing boat, and there was a storm. His disciples were drowning, and begged him to help them. Jesus calmed the storm, and comforted his men by saying, “I’m here. Why do you doubt me? I will always be here. I will be here through every storm of life you encounter. Stop being afraid. I will protect you. Have faith.”

I have since stopped blaming God for all my problems, and I want to find a way to be closer to him. But how? Nothing seems to interest me.

I’m trying to read the Bible from cover to cover, to see if I can’t find some answers to my problems. After all, the Bible is a life lesson in how we should act, feel, and behave. To me, it is more than walking with Christ. It’s walking through life, one step at a time.

The peace I feel when thinking about Catholicism is different from anything else I’ve ever felt. But I’ve reached about as deep as I can go in myself, alone, and I cannot feel the delirious fervor that I once felt for God when I was in junior high.

I need a resource that can help me pull through this. I detest that I am luke-warm in my faith, and I have a strong desire to change that.

I know that Jesus is calling me. I live on disability, so I really should go to Mass more often.

Am I a bad Catholic? And can anyone provide me with a resource that will strengthen my love for God?

You sound like a pretty darn good Catholic to me. Catholicism is not an emotion based faith. Our faith is stronger than whimsical emotions that today can blow one way and tomorrow can blow another. The fact that you have a desire to grow closer to God is tremendous!!! Many many people lack that feeling altogether.

THe hard part here is that the only way to go deeper into the love of God is to surrender yourself. CS Lewis said (and I am paraphrasing) that in order to become truly yourself you have to die to self and allow yourself to be filled by Christ. When you find an easy way to do this, please call me and let me know

Two books I would recommend for you are Thomas a Kepis “Imitation of Christ” and St. Francis de Sales “Introduction to the Devout Life”.

If I were you I would start with de Sales, I am reasonably sure you will get the most benefit out of that work. But no matter what book or resource you end up with, make sure it is orthodox (the people here can help with filtering out unorthodox teaching, but trust your priest’s advice… you are talking to your priest right ) and read it “prayerfully”, i.e. slowly. Try to truly absorb what you are reading not just read it. Think about taking the advice you are getting (de Sales advocates for an examination of conscience for instance) and making it how you act, almost like you are grafting something onto who you are.

And no matter what, so long as you remain faithful to Christ and to His Church, you are a good Catholic, a good Christian. As long as you continue to seek after him, to persevere in His love, to desire His glorification, you are just where Christ wants you. Know that you will fall, you will have times where you feel spiritually dry or empty, but it is the perseverance of the soul that brings us to Christ not the emotional rollercoaster ride. Sometimes you will feel the most incredible consolation: God gives us those times to “fill our tanks” for the times when he allows us to struggle. Remember that the struggle is how we grow.

Welcome home Tiffany. Know that you are loved.

FSC

 

[Goldigal]

Hi Tiffany

If you like reading, you should have a look at the catechism of the Catholic church online: vatican.va/archive/ENG0015/_INDEX.HTM

It’s the teaching of the church- it enhances our understanding of how to read the Bible (we don’t interpret it as individuals in our faith- so this helps direct your thoughts through a more direct and concentrated line of our faith ).

Hope this helps

 

[St_Francis]

Tiffany,
Welcome home

As Catholics, we are supposed to conform our wills to the Will of God. For example, on Sundays it is God’s will that we go to Mass. We can be infatuated or passionate about God, or we can feel neutral, but what counts is that we go to Mass

Since the Fall, God knows that we have very imperfect control over our feelings. We must strive to strengthen our will, so that we act in accordance with His Will no matter how we feel about it.

 

[Hecares]

Tiffany,

Welcome to the Catholic Church. It sounds as if you were truly called to the faith. The inner peace you feel is a manifestation of your faith. It in itself can be an evangeliation tool. Someone once told me that that was what impressed them about me. They sensed an inner peace. Knowing that I am Catholic and that my religion is very important to me, maybe they were led to look into my religion.

In sociology, we talk about a “honeymoon period” in most relationships. During this time you are usually very excited about the new relationship; everything seems wonderful; you think of little else. You are “on fire” about the relationship. After awhile you see the challenges. You become less on fire and more into everyday life.
With the presence ot the Holy Spirit, and God as a major focus in your life, your life itself becomes service to God - yes just your normal everyday life. He uses you in ways you don’t know or understand, if you allow Him to. You demonstrated an ability to listen and follow God’s urging when you decided to become a Catholic. Just continue to listen, and do what you can. God will take what you do and multiply it as He did the loaves and fish. My God continue to bless you in your journey!

 

[Bob_Crowley]

My name is Tiffany, and on April 23rd, 2011, I was confirmed Catholic. I am twenty-six.

Becoming Catholic was a personal choice for me, and before I state my problem, allow me to explain my situation.

I was baptized Methodist. I went for a couple years, and it was rather nice. I knew the people, I loved to hear the sermons, and, after a while, it was quite comfortable for me. But I fell away. Somehow, I knew this wasn’t enough.

After a time, I was drawn to the Catholic Church. I felt a quiet awe about the religion. It’s dignified and righteous without being self-righteous. I felt a pull. It was more of a small tug, a tug at my heart, saying, “Go. I know you’re curious, little one. Find out what is there. You might even like it.”

So I went. The first six months was nerve wracking. I felt that everybody was looking at me and could see my sins pasted all over my body for all to see. I fell away several times, but after several days of thought, I went back.

Rest assured we can’t see your sins plastered all over the place. The most I could say I get is a sense of a particular issue or some feeling that someone is not all they’re cracked up to be, and usually it’s someone in public life when that happens. Your sins are between you and God, and the priest if you confess to him.

I made friends with the deacon there, and grew very close to him and his wife. They were kind to me, and welcomed me. It was as though I had made a family.

However, my problem is this: I am not on fire for Jesus or my faith. I love the Church, Jesus, God, Mary, and all that is there, but my faith is quiet. I feel a strong sense of inner peace, but I can never remember the homily. It’s not that it’s boring. It just isn’t memorable.

Join the club. I used to be Presbyterian, but my most outstanding pastor was Methodist by training, and one of the best speakers I’ve heard. Unfortunately Catholic homilies are usually not memorable. I spoke to one priest about this, and he commented "That’s a problem the Catholic Church has struggled with for a long time.

I don’t wear my faith on my shoulder either. There is such a thing as a more intellectual approach. Even CS Lewis admitted his approach was incurably intellectual, and he did not have the ability of some to simply say “Come to Jesus”.

There’s a good man and his wife near us who run a small (Protestant) church, but who do a huge amount to help other people. I suppose we’d call them fundamentalist, and he’s very outspoken about his faith. I don’t know if his faith is necessarily stronger than that of the quieter Catholics I now mix with, but he’s certainly able to speak convincingly about his faith. However personality comes into it too.

I wish I would do more to make my faith a part of my outer life, but life gets in the way. There is something to do or people to see, and I get tired.

My faith offers a strength for me that I can’t describe. It is quiet, calm, and patient. I feel a strong sense of inner pride that I am Catholic. However, I am not passionate about my faith.

I guess I’m different. I feel peace from my faith, a deep peace that nothing else can really provide. It’s like when Jesus was asleep on the fishing boat, and there was a storm. His disciples were drowning, and begged him to help them. Jesus calmed the storm, and comforted his men by saying, “I’m here. Why do you doubt me? I will always be here. I will be here through every storm of life you encounter. Stop being afraid. I will protect you. Have faith.”

Maybe all you need to do at this moment is just keep on keeping on. There is at time for enthusiasm, but there’s also a time for reflection.

I have since stopped blaming God for all my problems, and I want to find a way to be closer to him. But how? Nothing seems to interest me.

I’m trying to read the Bible from cover to cover, to see if I can’t find some answers to my problems. After all, the Bible is a life lesson in how we should act, feel, and behave. To me, it is more than walking with Christ. It’s walking through life, one step at a time.

The peace I feel when thinking about Catholicism is different from anything else I’ve ever felt. But I’ve reached about as deep as I can go in myself, alone, and I cannot feel the delirious fervor that I once felt for God when I was in junior high.

I need a resource that can help me pull through this. I detest that I am luke-warm in my faith, and I have a strong desire to change that.

If you haven’t already done so, I’d suggest you start reading a few CS Lewis’ texts. He wasn’t Catholic (Anglican), but he’s hardly likely to drag you away from the Catholic Church. However he’ll make you think. And I suspect that like you he’d have been a “quiet Christian”, except for his writing.

I know that Jesus is calling me. I live on disability, so I really should go to Mass more often.

Am I a bad Catholic? And can anyone provide me with a resource that will strengthen my love for God?

No, you’re not a bad Catholic. You’re simply you. I don’t know what your disability is, but obviously that has a bearing. It must restrict you in some ways. Years ago Billy Graham did a Crusade in England. While it was fairly successful, he gave the spiritual credit to a bedridden girl who had been praying, or so I’ve been led to believe. The world didn’t know about her, but God did.

 

[JRKH]

You are not a bad Catholic…you are a young Catholic.

You say that you are not “On fire” for the faith etc…Were you “on fire” when you first attended the Methodist Church? Yet two years later you were no longer attending…So “on fire” is not a good indicator of the strength of your faith.

There are many ways in which we are called and there are many ways in which we serve. Be patient, pray, be open to the spirit, and look an dlisten for God to let you know what service he seeks from you.

Peace
James

 

[Monica4316]

Hi,

No that does not make you a bad Catholic… I would actually say, - please guard against measuring your spiritual growth by how you feel. True holiness is in how much we intend to love God, how much we love Him in our will, follow His commands, overcome self, love our neighbour, etc. Feelings can come, in the form of consolations, but that is not what makes holiness - in fact, feelings often come at the beginning, to encourage us, when we are not strong spiritually.

If you want to grow closer to Jesus though, that is great, - I suggest going to Adoration, having a strong devotion to the Eucharist, and maybe read some books like ‘the Practice of the Love of Jesus Christ’ by St Alphonsus Liguori or other books by the Saints… (Story of a Soul, Divine Mercy in My Soul, Way of Divine Love, Introduction to the Devout Life, True Devotion to Mary, Secret of the Rosary, etc). One book that helped me is St Alphonsus Liguori’s “Visits to the Blessed Sacrament” - it’s just a small prayer book, but the prayers helped me to want to love Jesus more.

God bless

 

[Stylites]

Tiffany,

Being a Christian is saying ‘Yes’ to Christ, not just the little ‘yes’ of baptism but the big ‘Yes’ in conforming one’s thoughts, will, deeds and desire to that of Christ. It is a lifelong process to saying the big ‘Yes’ to Jesus. How this happens is through hard work, through daily meditations on the life of Christ and through prayer. And the more we can say the big ‘Yes’ then He can act through us, and we become His body, and show Christ to others.

 

[mariafransisca1]

You ask for resources. Catholicism, by george brantl is an excellent book

In this book, you will get to know your faith, and the catholic church, and will put you in fire for your faith.

I know how you feel, I was in the same state where you are. I came across this book in this library, it is wonderful. My life as a catholic is never the same.

Here is the book in separate sections:

The Abscence of God
download1049.mediafire.com/rjj6a3k7uqcg/7sjuayqnomgg2ya/The+Abscence+of+God.pdf

Theophany
download376.mediafire.com/be778hhbcehg/2x7299aw28wy0q1/Theophany.pdf

Advent
download298.mediafire.com/7x2nqqu2ybmg/cfqfc6v2wdcirw9/Advent.pdf

Incarnation
download139.mediafire.com/62kfcby79g9g/b1ri7baunamrqhu/Incarnation.pdf

Pentecost
download946.mediafire.com/run1cosqokfg/p1t4j5a6a6bacmq/Pentecost.pdf

Faith
download1010.mediafire.com/3afjs7akhaug/ywsn5916ymp8wu7/Faith.pdf

The Transformation in Christ
download1337.mediafire.com/bckf0sok8fbg/m8vk8pu2rd3zp92/The+Transformation+in+Christ.pdf

The Catholic Affirmation
download1211.mediafire.com/k33lcpenydpg/vcu86w26hv9ttqa/The+Catholic+Affirmation.pdf

The Last Things
download844.mediafire.com/tjllifmxp1tg/vmcgc7dg55sz65d/The+Last+Things.pdf

I put it up online

Wonderful book, couldn’t recommend it enough. It converted me, I was a lukewarm catholic before, and by reading this book, I get to know my faith. He made references to many saints, mostly blessed cardinal henry newman, St. Augustine, St. Ignatius…

And you should read the catechism of St. Pius X, it is to get to know your faith and the catholic church as well. We should learn, you see. And the book is available online

saintsbookscatechisms.blogspot.com/

Most of the saints books are available online for free, they are free of copyrights, but they aflame us with the love of God.

What I would recommend to you is

The Diary of St. Faustina Kowalska - Divine Mercy in my Soul
saintsworks.net/books/St.%20Faustina%20Kowalska%20-%20Diary.pdf

You can read the lives of the saints, to see how they are doing with their life as a catholic, and imitate them… Imitate their zeal, their love of God. It is inspiring. You see.

Mother Angelica will help you to be aflame with the love of God…
youtube.com/results?search_query=mother+angelica&aq=f

And I also put up a resource for you to study:
everycatholicblog.blogspot.com

It is wonderful, the internet is, because most of the resources are available online and we do not know.

The resources of the magisterium of the church is available at www.vatican.va, but it is offered as a course, to me it is expensive at Catholic Distance University (cdu.edu). Well, I can learn it for free:shrug:

We have to learn, that’s the only way.

Sermons from holy priests will aflame you with the love of God.

Here are sermons from St. John Marie Vianney
basilica.org/pages/ebooks/Cure%20of%20Ars-Sermons%20of%20the%20Cure%20of%20Ars.pdf

Sermons from St. Pope John Paul II:
vatican.va/holy_father/john_paul_ii/homilies/index.htm

Oh, and try to read the Douay Rheims Catholic Bible. Catholic bible are different than those of Protestants. They are different in the translation. Yes, translation matters. Because when the people who translated is guided by the holy spirit, and lead a good and holy life, the translation is simple, and holy as well

catholicholybible.blogspot.com/

The scriptures are wonderful

 

[Statius]

Congratualtions on your reception into the Church. I don’t think you’re a bad Catholic - you sound like a very good one to me! We aren’t all on fire with emotion, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. We don’t choose our emotions.

You might consider reading about the lives of saints, if you are searching for something to enliven your faith. Butler’s Lives of the Saints is a wonderful resource if you have access to it, following the Church’s calendar. The saints are such a varied lot that I’m sure you’d find some who strike a chord with you.

 

[mariafransisca1]

Here is butler lives of the saints, in complete 12 volumes

bartleby.com/210/

You can download it using the free program Win WSD
download.cnet.com/WinWSD-WebSite-Downloader/3000-2377_4-10562531.html

 

[OscarsMama]

You are not a bad Catholic. It sounds like you are a very good one. Sometimes your faith feels like it is going to explode out of your chest. Sometimes it feels like it is a little flame in the pit of your soul.

Regardless, know that your faith is always there. Keep focused on God and say lots of prayers.