Am I a bad person? Please help

  • Thread starter Thread starter allthatisgold93
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
A

allthatisgold93

Guest
Hello everyone. I’m an eighteen year old girl who struggles with really bad OCD. The problem is…sometimes, if something bad happens, I get a strange excited feeling (that almost feels like happiness) in my stomach. This REALLY frightens me…I mean, why on earth would I like it when something bad happens? I don’t want to be a bad person, but if I get happy when something horrible happens, what is wrong with me? We have a friend who has been hospitalized and is in critical condition and may die…and I’ve gotten these same feelings again. It scares me. Am I just overthinking this? Am I mistaking these feelings for something they are not?

I love the Lord more than anything and when I get my OCD thoughts I try to just think about Him, but my latest worry is really bothering me. This week I’ve worried about four different things…do you think this is one of them or is this something I really have to worry about? Am I a bad person?

Please keep me in your prayers. Any advice would be wonderful, too. God bless.
 
No, you are not a bad person. No, you are not “happy” when you get these strange feelings and physical sensations. You are probably misinterpreting your body’s signals. Anxiety can feel like excitement, because in a way, it is. Our bodies aren’t that “smart,” we only have a few responses and they can feel/seem very much the same. An adrenaline rush is meant to get you out of danger but that can be so uplifting and stimulating that people pursue dangerous activities to experience it.

Yes, I think you are worrying, and are anxious right now. I will pray for you. Please see your doctor and tell him that you are worrying and are anxious.
 
My first concern and thought is…

Have you ‘dabbled’ or ‘played’ as a Teen with Oujjii or any New Age style practices… Even participated in Reike, Healing Touch, or Meditation that totally empties your mind ?

It’s just it’s so easy these days to put everything down to OCD or psychological disorders. It’s best to be Objective and open to other forces at work too…

I AM a good person, however after getting involved with Healing Touch and inadvertanly working with someone who I found out after the fact was a Wicca and Witch… I ended up being oppressed and some of her ‘gunk’ ended up with me… ( I prayed for her but not for my own protection) After this when something bad happened, I would feel a ‘smirk’ just as you describe come up from my tummy…
 
GoldenLight said:
My first concern and thought is…

Have you ‘dabbled’ or ‘played’ as a Teen with Oujjii or any New Age style practices… Even participated in Reike, Healing Touch, or Meditation that totally empties your mind ?

It’s just it’s so easy these days to put everything down to OCD or psychological disorders. It’s best to be Objective and open to other forces at work too…
Click to expand...
No. I have NEVER done any of those things. I am actually on medication for bad anxiety and depression as well. Are you hinting at possession? :confused:
 
allthatisgold93 said:
Hello everyone. I’m an eighteen year old girl who struggles with really bad OCD. The problem is…sometimes, if something bad happens, I get a strange excited feeling (that almost feels like happiness) in my stomach. This REALLY frightens me…I mean, why on earth would I like it when something bad happens? I don’t want to be a bad person, but if I get happy when something horrible happens, what is wrong with me? We have a friend who has been hospitalized and is in critical condition and may die…and I’ve gotten these same feelings again. It scares me. Am I just overthinking this? Am I mistaking these feelings for something they are not?

I love the Lord more than anything and when I get my OCD thoughts I try to just think about Him, but my latest worry is really bothering me. This week I’ve worried about four different things…do you think this is one of them or is this something I really have to worry about? Am I a bad person?

Please keep me in your prayers. Any advice would be wonderful, too. God bless.
Click to expand...
You’re not a bad person. You need to thoroughly discuss the feelings you get when something bad happens with a competent mental health professional. If you don’t have someone, you can get a referral from your physician.

I’ve had similar feels to those you describe, and I finally figured out they were but one of the many manifestations of anxiety. A counselor/therapist will help you get to the bottom of those feeling and what they are for you.

And remember: [SIGN]YOU ARE NOT A BAD PERSON[/SIGN]

Luna
 
allthatisgold93 said:
No. I have NEVER done any of those things. I am actually on medication for bad anxiety and depression as well. Are you hinting at possession? :confused:
Click to expand...
Noooo not at all, I just wanted to make sure there was no ‘oppression’ going on… These days so many young people get involved and open doors… I just wanted to make sure that wasn’t the case 🙂
 
allthatisgold93 said:
No. I have NEVER done any of those things. I am actually on medication for bad anxiety and depression as well. Are you hinting at possession? :confused:
Click to expand...
Allthatisgold, we’re neither physicians or mental health professionals on these forums. We can’t diagnose illness or offer suggestions for treatment. If you’re on medications for anxiety and depression, I cannot stress enough how important it is for you to bring your feelings up with professionals.

You’re not a bad person, you’re just in the wrong place. 🙂

Fellow anxiety sufferer,
Luna
 
GoldenLight said:
Noooo not at all, I just wanted to make sure there was no ‘oppression’ going on… These days so many young people get involved and open doors… I just wanted to make sure that wasn’t the case 🙂
Click to expand...
Oooh ok! I beg your pardon! My mistake. I understand what you’re getting that, though. But again…I’ve never been involved in any of that, and never will be. 🙂
 
By you asking if you are a Bad person is enough to say you are not if you are being sincere in your questions.

Have you talked to your priest? You should ask him if there will be a healing mass in the diocese soon or if he can anoint you.

Keep on talking, posting, praying, these forums are a great way to work through problems.
 
I think you’re mistaking a form of excitement (in its strictest sense) with the emotion that can often accompany it.

Any suitably momentous event will stir a reaction in us, whether or not it’s a good or bad event. That will manifest itself in a physical response and an emotional one. The fact that you have OCD is illuminating, as I would expect that your responses to certain types of stimuli are often more heightened than others without OCD might expect. What you need to learn - as others have said, with a qualified professional - is how to manage these emotions and responses and, if necessary, ‘decouple’ them.

By all means pray - it may help you focus on the spiritual sides of things, but don’t fail to seek the qualified assistance. You may be offered Cognitive Behavioural Therapy that will ease your reactions and your mind. In any case, seeking appropriate treatment is, in itself, a form of active prayer, since you are taking an initiative with your God-given intellect to consciously sort out a problem.

I hope it all works out for you.
 
Luna_Lovecraft said:
Allthatisgold, we’re neither physicians or mental health professionals on these forums. We can’t diagnose illness or offer suggestions for treatment. If you’re on medications for anxiety and depression, I cannot stress enough how important it is for you to bring your feelings up with professionals.

You’re not a bad person, you’re just in the wrong place. 🙂

Fellow anxiety sufferer,
Luna
Click to expand...
Thank you for your answer. I go to a counselor every week for various problems and I do discuss some of my OCD thoughts and such. I guess I get scared, because I am worried that I could go crazy or something. :confused:
 
allthatisgold93 said:
Hello everyone. I’m an eighteen year old girl who struggles with really bad OCD. The problem is…sometimes, if something bad happens, I get a strange excited feeling (that almost feels like happiness) in my stomach. This REALLY frightens me…I mean, why on earth would I like it when something bad happens? I don’t want to be a bad person, but if I get happy when something horrible happens, what is wrong with me? We have a friend who has been hospitalized and is in critical condition and may die…and I’ve gotten these same feelings again. It scares me. Am I just overthinking this? Am I mistaking these feelings for something they are not?

I love the Lord more than anything and when I get my OCD thoughts I try to just think about Him, but my latest worry is really bothering me. This week I’ve worried about four different things…do you think this is one of them or is this something I really have to worry about? Am I a bad person?

Please keep me in your prayers. Any advice would be wonderful, too. God bless.
Click to expand...
The physiological symptoms of happiness, anger, anxiety, fear are all the same. It is only how your brain interprets them. Mental illness can disrupt how these signals are interpreted.

Now, it is a bad idea to get mental health advice from the internet. Go and talk to your doctor. One symptom of OCD is having personally unacceptable/unwanted thoughts or feelings. The fact that these feelings you are having are unwanted means that they do not reflect what you really think and that these are a symptom of OCD.
 
Nope you’re not a bad person at all!! I agree with the other poster that just by you asking and being concerned about this indicates that you most certainly aren’t bad!

I think maybe it’s the whole rubber-necking reaction that many of us are guilty of when we pass a horrific accident. There’s a shock value type thing that happens and people want an up close look, then after they get it, they tell everyone all about it. I don’t think those people are sincerely excited over another’'s agony… it’s just a reactionary thing for some.

Maybe you can train yourself to immediately start praying when you hear bad news. I’ve started crossing myself and praying when I hear an ambulence instead wondering where it’s going or what happened.

I think you’re just fine!
 
allthatisgold93 said:
Thank you for your answer. I go to a counselor every week for various problems and I do discuss some of my OCD thoughts and such. I guess I get scared, because I am worried that I could go crazy or something. :confused:
Click to expand...
This may sound odd to you, but people who are WORRIED about going crazy are not the ones who actually GO crazy. The people with true mental illness (like schizophrenia) don’t worry about it and they don’t feel there is anything wrong with them. So in a way, your worrying about it proves you WON’T.

You can cause yourself a lot of stress, however. So do talk to your doctor and let him/her know that you are worrying a lot and feeling anxious.
 
Allthatisgold,

First of all, let me say no, you are not a bad person. But this is not the place to seek therapy–even if we were qualified to give it to you, even if it were allowed under the forum rules. I urge you to turn to your family and friends and a professional counselor. You’re in our prayers.
 
Thank you all SO much for helping me with this situation. I am feeling a lot better about it and am beginning to realize that it’s probably just some silly worry. I do not get the feeling all the time; there are times when I feel terrible when horrible things happen. It just happened lately and made me start to worry. I am praying about it and am finding a lot of comfort. I also want to say (to be clear) that I am on medication for anxiety and depression. Not to give a long story, but I have fibromyalgia, which actually causes more anxiety than normal. So I am on medication for that and the pain I get, as well as the medication I have for depression. I do see a counselor, too, and I suppose I will be mentioning these thoughts to her when I see her next. Most importantly, I speak to my wonderful mother about this all of the time. She knows everything about me and is the most amazing, open person in this entire world, who I am blessed to have. This website also gives me a lot of reassurance on top of that, so I am slowly feeling better.

On a side note, I just want to say that you people are AMAZING. I’ve posted a lot on here lately about things that have recently happened in my life (not all OCD thoughts, either lol), and I cannot tell you how much you all have helped me. It has really been a blessing. So thank you so much. 🙂 God bless.
 
You’re very welcome!

I’m sure we’re all just happy to be here for you and each other. I have no idea where you are in the world, but with the Internet you’re now every bit ‘my neighbour’ as the people who live in the next house and to ease someone else’s burden, even if only a little bit, is a wonderful thing.

Have a great big internet hug!

:grouphug:

:blessyou:
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top