Am I a lost sheep?

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Hello everyone.

I just got a chuckle, my last visit to CA was August 25, 2005. Just a little over a year ago.

I hope this story doesn’t get to long and confusing, but I really need help.

I was born and raised Roman Catholic (RC). My parents took me through the normals of RC throughout my life up until I left home. I never felt a sense of anything with the RCC. I never felt close to God and always felt my prayers meant nothing. When I left home naturally I quite church. A few years later after having gotten married and having children I began to want to get back into church. My husband is Baptist so this is where we were going to church, albiet, very infrequently.

When the preacher preached the Scriptures my soul was set ablaze, really, a feeling I never felt before. I would leave church feeling so alive and energized, ready to read my bible and get back inline with God. Yet, being that the RCC was all I ever knew I went back there. For 6 years I flip flopped between the RCC and Baptist.

Finally at the end of the 6 years I turned my back on the RCC. I truly feel I am following God and His plan for my life. (Let me also add during those 6 years I was praying and studying my bible).

Last week I stumbled on the message boards at (Link removed as per banned topics policy on anti-Catholic sites. CARM for anyone who doesn’t know is a Christian Website that exposes false teachings. They of course expose RC as false teachings. When I first arrived I was in agreement with them 100%. Actually, I still am. Yet this past week in conversing with the RC’s on the board I began to fell that calling I experianced during my 6 year struggle. I don’t know what it is.

Is it just because my history is mainly in the RCC? I don’t know how to explain it. But I will tell you this. When I do experiance this nudge I also get so frustrated as in ready to throw in the towel on the entire ordeal. I am tired of feeling like I am being pulled in both directions.

Has anyone else gone through anything like this? Why does it seem this always happens to me as if it will never stop. What is the purpose? I know you cannot answer all these questions but it doesn’t seem I will ever get the answers. I have been asking the Lord these questions for 6 or so years and yet I am in the same boat.

Thanks for listening. And no, I am not insane, just feeling a bit like it. 😦 🙂
 
We are all lost sheep. We are all in need of a Shephard. And we are all being called home. Though some on this earth are closer to that home than others, none of us is there yet. Salvation is not a one-time event, as Paul makes VERY clear (working out his salvation with fear and trembling; we who are being saved). It is a process. It is possible, and even likely, that these “feelings” are part of your salvation process. Do not turn your back on what you know to be true. Do not rely on your emotions, as that is the easiest way for the Devil to deceive you. There is reason and structure within Christ’s Church. He is the way, the truth, and the life. Allow Him to lead you home.
 
Very interesting story, and I feel for you. I too am a member of the forum you mentioned, and I encourage you to really read how the posters there speak of Catholicism, and its obvious that they don’t just disagree with it, THEY HATE IT. They do not even consider Catholics Christians.

That said, there are many knowledgable Catholics on that board, who do an admirable job defending the faith. I think what you need to first listen to, is this:

catholiccompany.com/product_detail.cfm?ID=4352

Then, I would encourage you to read up on the early church, the history of Christians, read the Christian Martyrs and what their faith looked like in the first century, and then look for continuity.

Once you see this, then I would recomend searching your soul, and ask yourself this: *Will I follow a denomination that broke off from “The Church” and their interpretations of scripture…or should I be taking a much closer look at the Church founded on the authority of the Apostles, specifically Peter? The same church that protected and duplicated scripture so that we could have it today? *

That all said, i think the Catholic Answers forums are the best place to get Catholic Answers rather than the other forum where many members do not preach in love. Not that everyone here at Catholic Answers are angels, but for the most part, this place will not leave you feeling further from Christ, as I find that CARM does.

Just my :twocents:
 
Feelings are like the wind and sailing. Sometimes they carry you to where you should be going, but sometimes they can cause you to drift off course.

I think you really need to take an objective look at the teachings of the Catholic Church and continue to explore. Read books, explore these forums and the tracts on www.catholic.com, and other apologetic websites such as www.biblechristiansociety.com, and see how they stack up with claims made against the Catholic Church from other faith traditions. Hopefully if and when you return to the Catholic Church, you will be greeted with a tailwind this time.
 
The trouble with leaving a Church be it the Catholic Church\Baptist\etc then going to another church is that once you are in the new denomination usually you finally pay attention. Then you realize that you were wrong in a certain way before.

This doesn’t necessarily mean that your beliefs were wrong but you believed wrong, now you believe correctly or think you do.

Now who wants to be wrong again?

So If I start out Baptist then go Jehovah’s Witness it is very hard to go back to Baptist or anywhere else, no-one wants to change twice.

I grew up Catholic and fell away once I got in the Navy, hopped around some other churches never was satisfied but heard the Bible. Eventually I came home to the Catholic Church.

So what brought me back to the Church is my search for truth. Does truth matter for salvation?

Was John the Baptist really the first Baptist?

In Christ
Scylla
 
JOL said:
Has anyone else gone through anything like this?
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Yes, I felt like this all the way through my conversion to the Catholic faith, from August 6, 1983 until April 14, 2001 (I was born and raised Protestant) - I felt pulled into the Catholic Church, but as soon as I got “too close” I was feeling pushed away from it - it was like there were two forces pulling on me; one wanted me to be Protestant and the other wanted me to be Catholic.

At one point I simply stopped having anything to do with Catholics, and just concentrated on being a good Protestant, but my anxiety ratcheted straight up - I couldn’t even think straight, so one Sunday night I went to Mass, and it was like a soothing medicine on my soul, but then I started being pulled back into the Protestant church.

In November of 2000, I realized that I absolutely had to become a Catholic, not because of my feelings but because I found out from looking at history and Scripture that Jesus founded the Catholic Church and that some guy named George Pigeon founded my church - I realized that if I wanted to be with God in Heaven then I would have to follow Jesus and join Jesus’ church; not George Pigeon - I was going to go crazy if I didn’t, so I got into RCIA (even in spite of all the road blocks and various idiocies that came my way during that time), and from that point on I had nightmares every night - one time I dreamed that the Devil was dragging me into Hell by the waist, and when I woke up I had a nasty case of burning shingles in the form of a big hand print all around my waist. I had never had shingles before, and I had no idea what was going on - I thought that the Devil really had grabbed me - I went to the emergency clinic, and they gave me medicine, and it went away (I’ve never had it since then), but I still had nightmares.

As soon as I went to First Confession, got Confirmed, and received First Holy Communion at the Easte Vigil it was like a huge weight of anxiety was lifted from my soul, and I suddenly felt very, very safe, and the nightmares went away. I have never had those anxious feelings since - not in that way, anyways.
 
**Jer 17:9 - **
The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?
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Either way, you should not go on emotions to search for the truth. If you really want to know what the Church is all about, take your time: pray, ask questions, and pray some more.

Hang out here in CA Forums as long and as little as you like. As long as your questions are sincere and charitable, you will find patient ears and good, knowledgable Catholics who really know their Faith. Sure, you’ll run across some impatient and loose-cannon cranks who don’t have business engaging in apologetics or discussing the Faith, but you’ll find they are in the minority here. And take the advice of what others have said: recognize CARM for what it is: a place where Catholicism would hardly be expected to get a fair hearing.

If you have specific questions or concerns, feel free to start a new thread anytime. Welcome, and God bless.
 
JOL,

Hello and welcome to the Catholic Answers Forums! I hope you have a blessed and fruitful time here.

I see you’ve already gotten some good replies here to your original post. As a convert to Catholicism I would say that the unease that you are feeling is indeed the Lord’s nudging you towards the one true Church. I once heard Scott Hahn describe his conversion story; he said that it started out like a mystery novel (“what is this really all about?”), continued like a horror story (“this stuff CAN"T be true!”), and ended like a romance (“my beloved all along”).

There is much that is good in the Protestant and Evangelical churches. Becoming Catholic does not require you to deny everything that you have ever done before. God will take your experiences outside the Church, sanctify them, and use them for your benefit and for the benefit of others.
  • Liberian
 
Liberian said:
There is much that is good in the Protestant and Evangelical churches. Becoming Catholic does not require you to deny everything that you have ever done before. God will take your experiences outside the Church, sanctify them, and use them for your benefit and for the benefit of others.
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Excellent points! How wonderful that the op drew closer to Jesus through prayer and Bible reading. The op asked why she feels this nudge back to the Catholic Church mixed with frustration and asked what its purpose is. I believe that she is being pulled in both directions because marriage between a Catholic and non-Catholic Christian is much more difficult than most admit. In the op we see her leaving the Church originally related to her being married to a Baptist man. So why might God draw her away from the Catholic Church, only to draw her back? Maybe He’s not merely trying to get the op back to the Catholic Church–I think He wants her husband too. Like so many other converts and reverts, when the return to the Catholic Church they’ll bring the zeal for Christ that they acquired in their old Protestant denomination.

To the original poster–I don’t think you are a lost sheep, but I think God let you wander off to help Him find another sheep that was a little further away from the rest of His flock. I was away from the Catholic Church for a while too, attending my husband’s Protestant Church with him; when I returned to the Catholic Church, he became Catholic within a short time.
 
JOL said:
Has anyone else gone through anything like this?
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Welcome to CA. If you’d like to read the personal stories of people that have gone through experiences similar to yours, try the Surprised by Truth books. God bless you on your search.
 
jmcrae said:
Yes, I felt like this all the way through my conversion to the Catholic faith, from August 6, 1983 until April 14, 2001 (I was born and raised Protestant) - I felt pulled into the Catholic Church, but as soon as I got “too close” I was feeling pushed away from it - it was like there were two forces pulling on me; one wanted me to be Protestant and the other wanted me to be Catholic.

At one point I simply stopped having anything to do with Catholics, and just concentrated on being a good Protestant, but my anxiety ratcheted straight up - I couldn’t even think straight, so one Sunday night I went to Mass, and it was like a soothing medicine on my soul, but then I started being pulled back into the Protestant church.

In November of 2000, I realized that I absolutely had to become a Catholic, not because of my feelings but because I found out from looking at history and Scripture that Jesus founded the Catholic Church and that some guy named George Pigeon founded my church - I realized that if I wanted to be with God in Heaven then I would have to follow Jesus and join Jesus’ church; not George Pigeon - I was going to go crazy if I didn’t, so I got into RCIA (even in spite of all the road blocks and various idiocies that came my way during that time), and from that point on I had nightmares every night - one time I dreamed that the Devil was dragging me into Hell by the waist, and when I woke up I had a nasty case of burning shingles in the form of a big hand print all around my waist. I had never had shingles before, and I had no idea what was going on - I thought that the Devil really had grabbed me - I went to the emergency clinic, and they gave me medicine, and it went away (I’ve never had it since then), but I still had nightmares.

As soon as I went to First Confession, got Confirmed, and received First Holy Communion at the Easte Vigil it was like a huge weight of anxiety was lifted from my soul, and I suddenly felt very, very safe, and the nightmares went away. I have never had those anxious feelings since - not in that way, anyways.
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WOW, that is exactly how I feel. Once I get comfortable in one way I get pulled in the other direction. It has only been 6 years, how you lasted that long is amazing. It is driving me crazy. I never knew anyone else that has gone through this. Thanks for your encouragement.

JOL
 
Thanks to everyone else who posted, I truly appreciate your (name removed by moderator)ut. Would you mind praying for me? I fell asleep for a short while this afternoon and still had these struggling thoughts going on in my mind. I sure pray the Lord takes control of me so I can be where He wants me to be.

JOL
 
They don’t have our Lord, Jesus Christ in the Eucharist. Plain and simple.

I sometimes struggle through mass, but I could never trade the eucharist for any homily!
 
JOL said:
I don’t know how to get past feelings.
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Feelings are not the motivation for our life in Christ.
http://www.greatcom.org/english/images/train.gif
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Do not depend on feelings

The promise of God’s Word, the Bible - not our feelings - is our authority. The Christian lives by faith (trust) in the trustworthiness of God Himself and His Word. This train diagram illustrates the relationship among fact (God and His Word), faith (our trust in God and His Word), and feeling (the result of our faith and obedience) (John 14:21).

The train will run with or without a caboose. However, it would be useless to attempt to pull the train by the caboose. In the same way, as Christians we do not depend on feelings or emotions, but we place our faith (trust) in the trustworthiness of God and the promises of His Word.JOL…Please read my story, HERE.
I’ve been where you’re at as have many other Catholics on this forum. Stick around and bring a Bible, (preferably one that has all the 73 original books in it.) you’ll see, (as I did) that we were misled by people whose whole belief system is contrary to the Word of God itself because they replace the authority of the church that Christ founded and which wrote and protected the Bible with an abridged version of the Bible. Check out THIS BIBLE STUDY and you can listen to it on HERE. and I suggest that you obey 2nd Timothy 2:15 which says, “Carefully study to present thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth.” At the end of that study…you’ll find the Catholic Church. The original New Testament Christianity. In spite of all the post-reformation propaganda to the contrary.

Saving you a seat in the pew next to me.
Blackie

P.S. You can count on being remembered in my prayers and at Mass.
 
JOL said:
Thanks to everyone else who posted, I truly appreciate your (name removed by moderator)ut. Would you mind praying for me? I fell asleep for a short while this afternoon and still had these struggling thoughts going on in my mind. I sure pray the Lord takes control of me so I can be where He wants me to be.

JOL
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I tried to leave the Catholic church as well. I really did. I attended many other churches and was very inspired by their sermons, music and spirit. Every once in a while I used to go to mass and think geeez almost nobody here cares. Nobody sings, nobody smiles at eachother or even cares to know one another. The priest gives really half prepared sounding homilies and teh entire experience seems so forced.

Something tugged on me the entire time I was away though. I ended up in the confessional then to mass. i cried at the mass i attended when i made my decision to come back. I don’t think i can ever leave again.

i think the Eucharist has a lot to do with it. I think a thorough understanding of the Eucharist really will open up why it is pulling you. Otherwise you will feel that it is pulling you but won’t understand it.

good luck
 
Black_Knight_MI said:
Feelings are not the motivation for our life in Christ.
JOL…Please read my story, HERE.
I’ve been where you’re at as have many other Catholics on this forum. Stick around and bring a Bible, (preferably one that has all the 73 original books in it.) you’ll see, (as I did) that we were misled by people whose whole belief system is contrary to the Word of God itself because they replace the authority of the church that Christ founded and which wrote and protected the Bible with an abridged version of the Bible. Check out THIS BIBLE STUDY and you can listen to it on HERE. and I suggest that you obey 2nd Timothy 2:15 which says, “Carefully study to present thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth.” At the end of that study…you’ll find the Catholic Church. The original New Testament Christianity. In spite of all the post-reformation propaganda to the contrary.

Saving you a seat in the pew next to me.
Blackie

P.S. You can count on being remembered in my prayers and at Mass.
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Thanks so much. I have printed this study out and plan to study it this weekend.

JOL
 
JOL said:
Thanks to everyone else who posted, I truly appreciate your (name removed by moderator)ut. Would you mind praying for me? I fell asleep for a short while this afternoon and still had these struggling thoughts going on in my mind. I sure pray the Lord takes control of me so I can be where He wants me to be.

JOL
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Certainly. And for all who sincerely desire to do God’s will, you’re in my prayers.
 
JOL said:
Hello everyone.

I just got a chuckle, my last visit to CA was August 25, 2005. Just a little over a year ago.

I hope this story doesn’t get to long and confusing, but I really need help.

I was born and raised Roman Catholic (RC). My parents took me through the normals of RC throughout my life up until I left home. I never felt a sense of anything with the RCC. I never felt close to God and always felt my prayers meant nothing. When I left home naturally I quite church. A few years later after having gotten married and having children I began to want to get back into church. My husband is Baptist so this is where we were going to church, albiet, very infrequently.

When the preacher preached the Scriptures my soul was set ablaze, really, a feeling I never felt before. I would leave church feeling so alive and energized, ready to read my bible and get back inline with God. Yet, being that the RCC was all I ever knew I went back there. For 6 years I flip flopped between the RCC and Baptist.

Finally at the end of the 6 years I turned my back on the RCC. I truly feel I am following God and His plan for my life. (Let me also add during those 6 years I was praying and studying my bible).

Last week I stumbled on the message boards at (Link removed as per banned topics policy on anti-Catholic sites. CARM for anyone who doesn’t know is a Christian Website that exposes false teachings. They of course expose RC as false teachings. When I first arrived I was in agreement with them 100%. Actually, I still am. Yet this past week in conversing with the RC’s on the board I began to fell that calling I experianced during my 6 year struggle. I don’t know what it is.

Is it just because my history is mainly in the RCC? I don’t know how to explain it. But I will tell you this. When I do experiance this nudge I also get so frustrated as in ready to throw in the towel on the entire ordeal. I am tired of feeling like I am being pulled in both directions.

Has anyone else gone through anything like this? Why does it seem this always happens to me as if it will never stop. What is the purpose? I know you cannot answer all these questions but it doesn’t seem I will ever get the answers. I have been asking the Lord these questions for 6 or so years and yet I am in the same boat.

Thanks for listening. And no, I am not insane, just feeling a bit like it. 😦 🙂
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Thank you for listening to the Holy Spirit rather than listen to the false condemnations on that board! God bless you!

I was also raised RC, and I strayed, but not in the same way as yourself. There are some great books and authors you might identify with:

Jeff Cavins, “My life on the Rock”

“Surprised by Truth” (more than 1 book in the series), compiled by Patrick Madrid

And one I’m reading now: if you read the first book by Jeff Cavins, you’ll understand that his wife was NOT on board with his conversion to RC. They are local, and I am friends with some people who own a local Christian store and attend their parish. Mrs. Cavins told them that she wishes she had read the following book YEARS ago:

“Four Witnesses - The Early Church In her Own Words”

I am reading it now and it is a summary of the lives of Clement of Rome, Ignatious of Antioch, Justin Martyr, and Ireaneus of Lyons. It cites their own writings and the context of them and is ABSOLUTELY FASCINATING.

Additionally, you will want to check into the Didache, which was written as an early catechism, used by the Apostles. If you do a web search you’ll find it. It’s not difficult reading and is surprisingly short. The Didache was used as basic Christian teaching to the new converts to Christianity…used by the Apostles and their immediate descendents. You’ll be amazed.

If you read the Church Fathers and follow the succession, including that of the lay teachers (Justin Martyr was one), you’ll be absolutely floored and may actually cease to be Protestant.
 
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