Am I A Real Catholic?

  • Thread starter Thread starter egiver
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
E

egiver

Guest
Hi everyone, I was hoping you could give me some insight on an issue that has been burdening me for a long time.

I was raised Catholic, confirmed, believe in God and Jesus and the authority of the Catholic Church. I want to be comfortable calling myself Catholic, but I have some concerns.

There are some issues that I am not confident in according to the Church’s teaching even though I don’t go against them in my own life. Two examplesa are; contraception (I am a world issues student so I can understand the arguments people make for its use in certain situations), and masturbation (because many children discover this without having any idea what it is and that health studies claims it is a normal part of teen development). I try to follow the Catholic teaching in my own life as a teenager, but I see these issues arise in teens around me and around the world and I can’t help but feel that sometimes it is not a clear “This is always bad” situation.

I plan to be chaste until marriage, but I also have a hard time accepting the possibility that I cannot be married if I don’t desire to have my own kids. Since I can remember I always wanted to adopt (also because I may have difficulties bearing children according to my doctor) and this would imply that I specifically want to use NFP to avoid children for selfish reasons to some people. I’ve never viewed it that way, but I think other Catholics might.

My question is, because I can’t honestly say I agree with ALL of the Church’s teachings (at least at this point in my life) when I speak to other people, or even ‘speaking’ to myself, am I not a real Catholic? Should I refrain from calling myself Catholic or going to Church if I believe most, but not everything that it teaches?

I’d appreciate a helpful discussion about this issue in my life. I have a hard time sleeping at night because of this so I could really use the forum’s support. 🙂
 
Usually when I have issues with certain teachings, I start with the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ and work my way up from there, to the Church, to virtues that we’re called to live by, until I eventually understand exactly why a certain doctrine is what it is.
egiver said:
I was raised Catholic, confirmed, believe in God and Jesus and the authority of the Catholic Church.
Click to expand...
So, then, it is not enough for you to accept the Church’s teaching of doctrines under her authority?
egiver said:
I plan to be chaste until marriage
Click to expand...
And, of course, we are also called to be chaste in our marriages; the virtue of chastity is a life-long journey.

I suggest you check out chastity.com.
 
It is OK to question or not understand teachings or even to disagree with them so long as you follow them.

You are still young, many of your views on this will change over time, but the teachings of the church will not. Follow what the church teaches and you’re fine. You man not want children now, but when you are older there’s a very good chance you will.
 
So then she is not to get married unless she plans on having children?? her own children.
 
It is perfectly normal to be a Catholic and struggle with understanding some teachings. We must try to have faith in these teaching, even if faith is hard. Sometimes it is a life-long endeavor!

IN the meantime, try to understand them. I used to struggle with the exact same issues as you (sometimes I still do!) but once I dug deeper and tried to find out why the church teaches on these issues the way…it was like a veil was lifted. This doesn’t happen right away…someone may explain it very poorly, and another person’s words may strike you a certain way. So, keep searching for the truth, keep an open mind, and don’t worry about calling yourself a Catholic even amidst uncertainty. 🙂
 
I think it was Blessed Cardinal Newman who said “A thousand questions do not one doubt make.”

You have questions and you are searching and seeking to understand things more fully. That is a good thing. It is part of the process of becoming an adult in the faith. You’re still Catholic. You will always be Catholic by virtue of your Baptism.

I would recommend talking through some of these things with a priest. They’re good at that. 🙂

Remember the basic moral principle that St. Paul gives us in Scripture: One may never do evil that good may come from it. It doesn’t matter if contraception and masturbation together solve world hunger and bring peace and serenity to all (they don’t, by the way), it still wouldn’t be acceptable to engage in such acts.

I think the best thing we can do as Catholics is not to lose sight of our humility. There’s no shame in honestly admitting that we don’t know or don’t understand something. But because of our faith in Christ and the Church that He established, we can never go wrong by giving the benefit of the doubt to the Church. Remember the words of the father of the possessed boy in the Gospel of Mark, “Lord, I believe! Help my unbelief!”
 
funion987 said:
Usually when I have issues with certain teachings, I start with the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ and work my way up from there, to the Church, to virtues that we’re called to live by, until I eventually understand exactly why a certain doctrine is what it is.

So, then, it is not enough for you to accept the Church’s teaching of doctrines under her authority?

And, of course, we are also called to be chaste in our marriages; the virtue of chastity is a life-long journey.QUOTE]

Yes, I guess I used the wrong term when I said ‘chaste’ there.

I really appreciate your advice. 🙂

But I still have a problem with whether or not other Catholics would consider me Catholic at the point I’m at now.

See, this issue is hard for me to explain in words.
I believe the Church has the authority to teach doctrines, but I can’t help that I don’t feel confident in saying I believe them. This is because life doesn’t seem to be ‘black and white’ for me, but by a case-by-case basis. For example, the “contraception is bad” teaching: I believe the Church’s teaching as a Catholic, but if my friends choose to have sex before marriage I can’t help but still hope that they use contraception because of STDs (Not because of pregnancy). Therefore I have difficulty saying that contraception should not be available in the Canadian Health Care System in all cases (because unfortunately it’s also a fact that denying people contraception doesn’t mean that most of those people won’t choose to have sex anyway). I honestly can’t firmly say to someone, “contraception is bad.”

Of course, maybe it’s possible that I don’t understand the Church’s teaching though if the scenario I explained appears inaccurate, so I apologize for that, and I hope someone can please explain.

I really am trying to both believe and logically understand these beliefs.
Click to expand...
 
Being the church equally weighs the bible and tradition, your struggle is understood. Put faith into tradition and seek a Priest when facing conflict. I trust the Catholic faith is your proper part.
 
Thank you everyone for your advice. You’ve already helped me so very much that I can’t even explain it in words 🙂 Especially mcrow, Garyjohn2 and Joe 5859: Your explanations really have given me such a great understanding of how to approach the issue that I’m going through. Thank you so much.

When someone asks me a question about an issue I struggle with, do you think for me to say “I don’t know” or “I’m learning about this myself” is an appropriate response as a questioning young Catholic? Is there a better way to respond?

I promise to continue to try to do research on the Church’s teachings and pray to God for understanding. God bless. 🙂
 
Being the church equally weighs the bible and tradition, your struggle is understood. Put faith into tradition and seek a Priest when facing conflict. I trust the Catholic faith is your proper part.
 
A real Catholic accepts what the Church teaches. But it’s okay to seek understanding of what the Church teaches and why she teaches it.

Canon Law of the Latin Rite:

Canon 750 - A person must believe with divine and Catholic faith all those things contained in the word of God, written or handed on, that is, in the one deposit of faith entrusted to the Church, and at the same time proposed as divinely revealed either by the solemn magisterium of the Church or by its ordinary and universal magisterium which is manifested by the common adherence of the Christian faithful under the leadership of the sacred magisterium; therefore all are bound to avoid any doctrines whatsoever contrary to them.

Each and every thing which is proposed definitively by the magisterium of the Church concerning the doctrine of faith and morals, that is, each and every thing which is required to safeguard reverently and to expound faithfully the same deposit of faith, is also to be firm-ly embraced and retained; therefore, one who rejects those propositions which are to be held definitively is opposed to the doctrine of the Catholic Church.

Canon 751 - Heresy is the obstinate denial or obstinate doubt after the reception of baptism of some truth which is to be believed by divine and Catholic faith; apostasy is the total repudiation of the Christian faith; schism is the refusal of submission to the Supreme Pontiff or of communion with the members of the Church subject to him.
 
The fact you are here asking questions and are concerned about being faithful to Church teachings tells me you are Catholic.
 
health studies claims it is a normal part of teen development
Click to expand...
Once we move out of our parents’ house and become ‘independent’, we must learn to discern for ourselves what is right and wrong. The typical American simply sits and waits for the government to tell them how, when, and where to do everything. Since you did not mention abortion as an issue you are having trouble with, I am assuming you are ‘pro-life’. Yet, the government not only says it’s okay to kill a baby, the government goes so far as to fund it and, if the patient is a juvenile, the government stands in the way of requiring the child’s parental advisement.

We have to let go of our willingness to let the government think for us just because we believe they have done all the homework required to make an educated decision on it.

You are not only a Catholic, you are a GOOD Catholic. You are trying very hard to keep the covenants with God and live according to your faith. We have an unmoveably strong belief on one day and, the next day not so much. We are all growing together. I am proud to say I am your sister in the faith. Keep trying.
 
Ask your questions and dig into your faith for an answer. Look up your questions in the Catechism and Bible. Ask your priest. Ask your questions here on the forum.

I used to have a lot of questions as well, but once I made it into my true and full conversion I realized that the answers I had been looking for were right in front of me the whole time.

Sometimes the questions are more difficult to deal with than the answers…

God’s blessings,
Joshua
 
Also:

If you ever have any questions, feel free to PM me. I love talking about the faith.

Joshua
 
egiver said:
When someone asks me a question about an issue I struggle with, do you think for me to say “I don’t know” or “I’m learning about this myself” is an appropriate response as a questioning young Catholic? Is there a better way to respond?

I promise to continue to try to do research on the Church’s teachings and pray to God for understanding. God bless. 🙂
Click to expand...
Yes, of course it is perfectly acceptable to respond that you don’t know and are still trying to understand it yourself. What would not be proper, though, would be stopping at that point. As you have stated above, once you realize there is something you don’t quite get, you study and pray to find the answer. That’s not to say the answer will come quickly or easily, but we all must continue to study and learn the Faith.
 
Remember- even St. Paul had a “beef” with Peter. He didn’t agree with Peter and how he treated the gentiles. Even made a special trip to call him out on it. BUT!! Paul submitted to the athority of Peter and the others because he knew athority had been given to Him from Jesus.
Likewise, some of our greatest Saints had serious concerns about the Church- but one of the things that made them great Saints was that they also submitted to the authority of the Church. Because they trusted the Lord’s word that it is His Holy Spirit that guides it.

Yes-- you are a real Catholic. Keep praying for wisdom and understanding- learn not only what the Church teaches but why. Pray with a humble heart and I’m sure the Lord will lead you.
 
egiver said:
Thank you everyone for your advice. You’ve already helped me so very much that I can’t even explain it in words 🙂 Especially mcrow, Garyjohn2 and Joe 5859: Your explanations really have given me such a great understanding of how to approach the issue that I’m going through. Thank you so much.

When someone asks me a question about an issue I struggle with, do you think for me to say “I don’t know” or “I’m learning about this myself” is an appropriate response as a questioning young Catholic? Is there a better way to respond?

I promise to continue to try to do research on the Church’s teachings and pray to God for understanding. God bless. 🙂
Click to expand...
It is perfectly OK to say you don’t know or something similar, it isn’t wrong until you deny the teachings.
 
egiver said:
When someone asks me a question about an issue I struggle with, do you think for me to say “I don’t know” or “I’m learning about this myself” is an appropriate response as a questioning young Catholic? Is there a better way to respond?

I promise to continue to try to do research on the Church’s teachings and pray to God for understanding. God bless. 🙂
Click to expand...
It’s always better to be honest and admit you don’t know rather than try to fake your way through an answer. Doing that can do more harm than good.

Since the subject of our faith is the infinite God, there’s no way any one of us (no matter how smart) can have all the answers. I always respected my theology teachers who would honestly admit when they didn’t know the answer to a question (even though they were supposed to be the “experts” ;)). However, they always used those questions as an opportunity to do further research and come back with an answer.

I think if we let questions just sit there, they can fester and start turning into doubt. But if we wrestle with them, pray about them, and do a little research, then we can grow in understanding.
 
I understand now. I’ll be sure to be honest with others and continue to research and pray. 👍

Thank you for all your kind words everyone. I really feel accepted here on Catholic Answers Forums and I no longer feel so nervous about asking questions. I have to admit, I’ve been nervous about having people make comments about me being a true Catholic or not for having doubts on certain issues, but I’m no longer so afraid. 🙂

Especially Philotheatoo, your comment about being a good Catholic, and being sisters in the faith actually brought me to tears. I had no idea how much this was something I needed to hear. Thank you so much. I’m very proud to be your sister in the faith as well as everyone else who has taken time from their busy days to answer my questions. <3

God bless, everyone 🙂
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top