Am I A Real Catholic?

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egiver said:
When someone asks me a question about an issue I struggle with, do you think for me to say “I don’t know” or “I’m learning about this myself” is an appropriate response as a questioning young Catholic? Is there a better way to respond?
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I think those are appropriate responses. Of course, as catholics, we should try to know and find the answers if we are able. I would say something like “I don’t know, but I know there is a good reason for it.” Or that you are still learning or understanding this truth. Many of the things the Church teaches seem to go against popular culture, so this will come up from time to time. Still, it’s important to know (and perhaps relate to the questioner) that the Church has been around for a very, very long time…and there is wisdom in its teachings…wisdom that has stood the test of time and isn’t going anywhere. It’s a deep source of wisdom, and not easily understood in a sound-byte or brief conversation. It’s really profound in fact, but it can take time to understand as well as communicate.

I heard that it is the responsibility of all Catholics to learn the faith, and be ready to defend our beliefs at any time. Religion doesn’t come up all that often in normal conversation, but there will be times that it does, rest assured. 🙂 So its good to “arm” yourself in this respect to be a good witness to Christ and His church, and for your own peace of mind.

1 Peter 3:15
…but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence;

At the same time, do not be ashamed to admit your own ignorance and humility. “I don’t know” is a perfectly fine answer if it is the truth…not all of us knows everything, though we may be tempted to pretend this is true when what we do know is challenged. 🙂

More important that “knowing” is “knowing how to find out.” That’s part of what College teaches you. Even better than saying, “I don’t know” is “I’m not sure, but I can do some research and get back to you.” 🙂
 
egiver said:
Hi everyone, I was hoping you could give me some insight on an issue that has been burdening me for a long time.

I was raised Catholic, confirmed, believe in God and Jesus and the authority of the Catholic Church. I want to be comfortable calling myself Catholic, but I have some concerns.

There are some issues that I am not confident in according to the Church’s teaching even though I don’t go against them in my own life. Two examplesa are; contraception (I am a world issues student so I can understand the arguments people make for its use in certain situations), and masturbation (because many children discover this without having any idea what it is and that health studies claims it is a normal part of teen development). I try to follow the Catholic teaching in my own life as a teenager, but I see these issues arise in teens around me and around the world and I can’t help but feel that sometimes it is not a clear “This is always bad” situation.

I plan to be chaste until marriage, but I also have a hard time accepting the possibility that I cannot be married if I don’t desire to have my own kids. Since I can remember I always wanted to adopt (also because I may have difficulties bearing children according to my doctor) and this would imply that I specifically want to use NFP to avoid children for selfish reasons to some people. I’ve never viewed it that way, but I think other Catholics might.

My question is, because I can’t honestly say I agree with ALL of the Church’s teachings (at least at this point in my life) when I speak to other people, or even ‘speaking’ to myself, am I not a real Catholic? Should I refrain from calling myself Catholic or going to Church if I believe most, but not everything that it teaches?

I’d appreciate a helpful discussion about this issue in my life. I have a hard time sleeping at night because of this so I could really use the forum’s support. 🙂
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Rest assured, there will always be certain teachings that we struggle with. But through prayer and study we can overcome them. You are still a catholic. What you want to do is always remain open that through God’s grace, the wisdom of Catholic teaching will penetrate your heart and mind.
The Catholic teaching on contraception, while a stumbling block to many people, is also a treasure that leads many others into the Church. (My wife and I are among them.)

I am confident that once you study up on this issue you too will see that the world’s “knee jerk” way of solving complex human problems doens’t work. The Catholic way, while difficult, is the best way because it takes into acount the dignity of every human person.

This talk by Janet Smith is the gold standard on the whole contraception angle:

catholic.com/radio/shows/the-case-against-contraception-5121

Also I would recommend two books, If You Really Loved Me by Jason Evert and,
Good News About Sex and Marriage by Christopher West.
They have changed my life and many others lives.

As for masturbation, I was told at the age of 12 that it was totally normal, healthy, and could be engaged in often. It’s hard for me to describe how much a lie this is. You see this advice led me into porn addiction. In addition to the fact that it is a selfish seeking of sexual pleasure and not a self giving to another person, which is the purpose of sex, masturbation leads to addiction. Addiction changes one’s life and makes one a slave. It produces a high that is similar to a drug high. What our culture has embraced is simply slavery in the name of '“sexual freedom” I and “health” When men become sexually enslaved, women suffer.

It leads men to objectify women in the worst way. You see, men can slide easily into very dark ways of sexual thinking. I did not respect women at all and growing up saturated with pornography, I thought they were for pleasure to be used. In fact, it was reading the book, If You Really Loved Me that I asked myself for the first time—is it really true what I always read, that --men should masturbate every 72 hours in order to release sexual tension? When I finally asked myself that honestly , I knew that I had been lied to. If anything, continuing this behavior was increasing the flames of sexuality.

So we have nothing to be ashamed of, with our Church’s teachings on sexuality. You just need to read up on the issue and see that the Church’s way leads to freedom and peace.

God Bless you.
 
This is a great thread and is helping me and probably many others. Thank you guys!! :grouphug:
 
I really like this quote from Blessed Cardinal Newman:

“Trust the Church of God implicitly even when your natural judgment would take a different course from hers and would induce you to question her prudence or correctness. Recollect what a hard task she has; how she is sure to be criticized and spoken against, whatever she does; recollect how much she needs your loyal and tender devotion; recollect, too, how long is the experience gained in 1800 years; and what a right she has to claim your assent to principles which have had so extended and triumphant a trial. Thank her that she has kept the faith safe for so many generations and do your part in helping her to transmit it to generations after you.”

Whenever I read this quote, it makes me love the Church even more. It can be a challenge for us to admit to ourselves that we don’t see all the angles of a given issue.
 
egiver said:
Hi everyone, I was hoping you could give me some insight on an issue that has been burdening me for a long time.

I was raised Catholic, confirmed, believe in God and Jesus and the authority of the Catholic Church. I want to be comfortable calling myself Catholic, but I have some concerns.

There are some issues that I am not confident in according to the Church’s teaching even though I don’t go against them in my own life. Two examplesa are; contraception (I am a world issues student so I can understand the arguments people make for its use in certain situations), and masturbation (because many children discover this without having any idea what it is and that health studies claims it is a normal part of teen development). I try to follow the Catholic teaching in my own life as a teenager, but I see these issues arise in teens around me and around the world and I can’t help but feel that sometimes it is not a clear “This is always bad” situation.

I plan to be chaste until marriage, but I also have a hard time accepting the possibility that I cannot be married if I don’t desire to have my own kids. Since I can remember I always wanted to adopt (also because I may have difficulties bearing children according to my doctor) and this would imply that I specifically want to use NFP to avoid children for selfish reasons to some people. I’ve never viewed it that way, but I think other Catholics might.

My question is, because I can’t honestly say I agree with ALL of the Church’s teachings (at least at this point in my life) when I speak to other people, or even ‘speaking’ to myself, am I not a real Catholic? Should I refrain from calling myself Catholic or going to Church if I believe most, but not everything that it teaches?

I’d appreciate a helpful discussion about this issue in my life. I have a hard time sleeping at night because of this so I could really use the forum’s support. 🙂
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On contraception, this will help a lot.
catholiceducation.org/articles/sexuality/se0217.htm

On the other issue:
Some would say that the sin of impurity with oneself is not a sin because it is a natural
pleasure and strong drive, so there is nothing wrong in that. But if analyized, it is nothing else but an act of HOMOSEXUALITY.
Here is a further explaination:
davidmacd.com/catholic/masturbation.htm
 
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