Am I Able to Serve as a Confirmation Sponsor?

[GreenMountainGringa]

Hello all – I’m hoping that someone can help answer this question for me to save some embarrassment down the road.

I have always been an active member in my local Catholic parishes, in many ministries, and recently I was asked to serve as a confirmation sponsor for some of the new adults looking to join the Catholic Church. As far as I know, I have all the proper sacraments and documentation required for this, however, there is a still one large sore-point for me. I’m worried that I am not considered “in good standing” with the Catholic Church since my husband and I were married outside the church, but are still working on having that marriage recognized. I have gone to confession regarding this and we are still “living as brother and sister.”

It’s still rather embarrassing sore spot for me because although I have gone through the necessary steps to validate receiving communion again, I am saddened that my choice to love and marry a non-Catholic might prevent me from continuing to serve and engage in activities with the Catholic Church. The Church is my one source of moral and emotional support in difficult times and I really want to be able to serve as a sponsor, but I don’t want to risk the validity of their sacrament because of me.

Any advice would be very helpful – thank you and God bless you.

 

[TheLittleLady]

ONLY your pastor can answer this question. He is the one who will vouch by giving you a letter of good standing.

 

[GreenMountainGringa]

Thanks so much! I will ask if they are able to do so for me.

 

[1ke]

I’m worried that I am not considered “in good standing” with the Catholic Church since my husband and I were married outside the church, but are still working on having that marriage recognized. I have gone to confession regarding this and we are still “living as brother and sister.”

That is something to discuss with your own pastor, not strangers on the internet. It is your pastor who will decide whether you can be a sponsor. As it is, I don’t see anything you’ve written that is at odds with the canons.

Can. 874 §1. To be permitted to take on the function of sponsor a person must:

1/ be designated by the one to be baptized, by the parents or the person who takes their place, or in their absence by the pastor or minister and have the aptitude and intention of fulfilling this function;

2/ have completed the sixteenth year of age, unless the diocesan bishop has established another age, or the pastor or minister has granted an exception for a just cause;

3/ be a Catholic who has been confirmed and has already received the most holy sacrament of the Eucharist and who leads a life of faith in keeping with the function to be taken on;

4/ not be bound by any canonical penalty legitimately imposed or declared;

5/ not be the father or mother of the one to be baptized.

I don’t want to risk the validity of their sacrament because of me.

The sponsors have no bearing at all on validity.

 

[JohnLilburne]

An article by Fr. John Koziol at Marriage Requirements for Godparents and Sponsors and Annulment Summary | RCIA Atlanta includes:

“In order to fulfill this promise, the godparent must themselves be living the Catholic faith and their lifestyle must be in keeping with the teachings of the Church. Simply put, you can’t sponsor someone for Baptism if you are not yourself in full communion with the Church and the teachings of the Church. One of the canonical requirements of all Catholics is that they marry in the Catholic Church.”

The article discusses what can be done to rectify the situation.

 

[Horton]

This is an issue I deal with all the time as the director of youth ministries in our parish. To be considered “in good standing” one must be married in the church if married. It is good you are working to regularize your marital situation, but IMO I think you should decline being a sponsor until you are married in the church.

 

[guanophore]

I really want to be able to serve as a sponsor, but I don’t want to risk the validity of their sacrament because of me.

If you do not meet the requirements and yet still serve as a sponsor (sometimes this happens)it will not, in any way, impede the validity of the sacrament.

I applaud your desire to have your marriage regularized, and to serve in your parish.

 

[GreenMountainGringa]

Thank you for the information everyone. It sounds like I need to work this out with the ministry director and the pastor. I haven’t committed to being a sponsor yet, but wanted to have a better understanding of what is expected of me.

 

[Gorgias]

I am saddened that my choice to love and marry a non-Catholic might prevent me from continuing to serve and engage in activities with the Catholic Church.

GreenMountain,

This statement you made, really struck me. It’s not the case that the Church says “because you chose a non-Catholic as a spouse, there are things you cannot do.” It is entirely possible to marry a non-Catholic validly in the eyes of the Church. Some folks don’t realize that it’s possible to do, and so they don’t attempt it. Others don’t realize that it’s possible to get permission to marry a non-Catholic in a ceremony that takes place outside the Church, and so they don’t attempt it.

In any of these cases, if both spouses are free to marry, it’s possible – after the fact – to get the marriage “validated” in the Church.

Some folks choose spouses who have already been validly married. The Church asserts that it has no power to marry someone who’s already in a valid marriage (and therefore, is not free to marry someone else). In these cases, a person might attempt to discern whether their previous marriage is, in fact, valid. If it’s not – and therefore, they really are free to marry – then the Church can validate their marriage to their current spouse.

But, in none of these cases – either the ones in which a valid marriage is possible or the ones in which a person is already in a valid marriage – at no time is it the case that the Church says “oh, I’m sorry – you chose a non-Catholic, so we’re going to reject you for your choice.”

At times, it might feel that way… but if we’re being honest, then that’s never the case.

Blessings,
G.

 

[TomH1]

I have to second what several others have said. This is a matter that you really ought to be discussing with your priest. He is in a much better position to be able to answer you.

If you were to act as a sponsor for any confirmation candidate you would not invalidate the sacrament if you lacked any of the prescribed qualifications or could be considered to be unsuitable.

I hope for your peace that your situation is soon resolved.