Am I Alone?

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NathanCarson

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Hello,

I’ve only been catholic for a year. I’m 23. I go to mass. I go to the adults bible study. I go to the blue army processions. I go to holy hours. I spend a lot of time involved with church. Other than that I go to school, and the occasional party.

I’m thoroughly saddened by a few things though. One, where are all the other catholics 20-25?? I suppose a bunch are cradle catholics and are married (I see them in mass). I don’t see any in the bible studies or around church. I see the young kids and high school students. There’s lots of resources for CYM. Yet nothing for people my age. It’s very lonely. Not that I became catholic to be popular. I believe it to be the truth. Which I prefer to protestant rock concerts and whatever else they have. Everyone I know at church is much much older though. Some people tend to be very condescending as well, but that’s just… Being humble sometimes involves NOT showing that your smarter than someone.

Also, I really question the faith of these people sometimes. The ones who truly believe it’s clear. I can see it in their eyes and the way they treat people. Some people just seem like (excuse me) kissasses. Trying to look good to better their image while being so…cold.

I dunno. I just hate that. I wanna scream sometimes, like, “Do you believe at all!!!”. How come you don’t get this, it’s not that hard?? Love each other. It’s not about image, or class, or…ugh.

anyway. I’m done. Anyone feel the same way?
 
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NathanCarson:
Hello,

I’ve only been catholic for a year. I’m 23. I go to mass. I go to the adults bible study. I go to the blue army processions. I go to holy hours. I spend a lot of time involved with church. Other than that I go to school, and the occasional party.

I’m thoroughly saddened by a few things though. One, where are all the other catholics 20-25?? I suppose a bunch are cradle catholics and are married (I see them in mass). I don’t see any in the bible studies or around church. I see the young kids and high school students. There’s lots of resources for CYM. Yet nothing for people my age. It’s very lonely. Not that I became catholic to be popular. I believe it to be the truth. Which I prefer to protestant rock concerts and whatever else they have. Everyone I know at church is much much older though. Some people tend to be very condescending as well, but that’s just… Being humble sometimes involves NOT showing that your smarter than someone.

Also, I really question the faith of these people sometimes. The ones who truly believe it’s clear. I can see it in their eyes and the way they treat people. Some people just seem like (excuse me) kissasses. Trying to look good to better their image while being so…cold.

I dunno. I just hate that. I wanna scream sometimes, like, “Do you believe at all!!!”. How come you don’t get this, it’s not that hard?? Love each other. It’s not about image, or class, or…ugh.

anyway. I’m done. Anyone feel the same way?
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Offer it up.
 
I’m 24. Maybe you should try and found a young adults group at your parish. See if you can get something put in the bulletin. A young lady at my parish did just that. I didn’t even know the people who showed up even existed, but they’re a great bunch and we do all sorts of activities including prayer, service, and socializing.
 
Dear Nathan,
I am not sure what to say to you because I experienced the same feelings during that time period (age 20-25 ) . That was 20 some years ago! It seems that not much has changed. Hang in there. Keep to the straight and narrow path. Do as much spiritual reading as possible. And don’t let any overbearing elderly person get you down…not ever. That is what I did.
What else can I say?
I am not sure why it is this way for that particular age group. There must be a reason.
Contemplative
 
Hi NathanCarson,
I am 33 and feel and have felt the same as you. I look around at Mass and the bulk of people are 50 and over. My sister and I have had conversations about this.(My sis is 20). None of my friends have the same spiritual level as me. The only ones I can talk religion to are my protestant friends. It is very frustrating.

You will find this board is a big help! I have learned so much from it. I have never met these people, but their answers are gentle and informative. I am currently searching for a spiritual director and I wish some of the people on this board lived close to me so that I could speak with them face to face.

One nice thing is that we have a new young priest. He is my age, which is 33. It’s strange seeing someone with black hair at the altar. He is awesome and I pray for more vocations.

The best advice I can give you is to STICK TO YOUR FAITH!!! Pray the rosary. It is powerful. You will see the difference in your life once you start praying it!! Also is cursillo is offered in your area, GO!! It is a nice experience. I made my cursillo when I was about your age. Have you thought about being a youth ministry leader.

Don’t get discouraged about what is going on around you. Live your life for yourself and Christ. The church needs young people!
 
17 here!

At my parish, I also feel like I am the only one that truly believes. Most of the teens in my parish go there because their family does, and it frustrates me to see that there is not much being done for the youth in my church.

There is only one girl who I know had a second conversion like I did, but while I’m a teen, she’s a young adult, so we don’t connect as much as I would like to, although her conversion of heart was an amazing story involving a Protestant and her rosary ;).

I have one other friend, but I feel as if she doesn’t have a genuine relationship with Jesus Christ and read the scriptures. I’m sure that there are others out there, I just hope that I can have experiences like them before I become a young adult.
 
why don’t you start your own “apostolate” so to speak. put an ad in the bulliten and start up a group OF YOUNG PEOPLE (EVEN OLDER ONES IF THEY WANT) that prays together for one hour a week. Something like this, small steps, will lead to greater things. God has chosen you to do something great and now you have to find out what. In your suffering there is great opportunity for growth and also for the benefit of others…offering up your trials (bearing them willingly) for the salvation of others.

an example- Young Catholics Unite!!
Every monday young catholics are meeting for prayer in the chapel to strengthen and deepen their faith. Do you feel like God might be calling you to do great things, but don’t know what or how to answer? Join us for prayer from 7-9 and deep reflection afterwards. Let us be a force for Christ!! Don’t let this inner voice be unheard. Let us discover charity and love in truth. For more info please call AM I ALONE AT 000-0000.

Just an Idea

peace and love
 
while I’m not exactly your age (I’m 28) I’ve recently returned to the church. Neither of my sisters are practicing catholic and they went further in the catholic religion as a child than I did. My estranged husband (he’s 31) does not practice any religion either.
My friends do not attend church. I need some faith here. I also feel like no one is a believer.
 
Check to see if there is a Couples for Christ apostolate in your area – cfcglobal.org.ph/aboutus/introduction.htm

This group ministers as well to young singles (Singles for Christ), also to kids, youth, widowed and older singles. Would be a great place to meet other young Catholics who love the Lord!
 
Well thanks for the reply, all. I’m feeling much better now. I let Jesus deal with it and listened to J.S. Bach’s cd of the Magnificat.

I do pray the rosary, wear the brown scapular, make at least one holy hour a week, etc. etc. etc.

It just gets very hard sometimes sharing Jesus’ heart. The closer you get to him, the more you experience the pain he feels. The pain that sin causes him. The pain that being ignored causes him. I mean, there are people who don’t even believe he’s REAL. Even worse, people who know he’s real and don’t go to see him.

I am very thankful for him giving us his loving mother Mary. She is very comforting. I couldn’t do it without her. Not in this world.

as far as my earlier comments, I might just talk to my pastor about how I feel. I miss my old pastor, he left while I was away for a couple months, and I never got to say goodbye. Perhaps I can get a prayer group together or something for young people.
 
I’m 20- back home, it is all young kids and grey hair- daily mass there must be at least 30 yrs between me and the next youngest person! But it’s ok- it gives me something to offer up, and allows me to be a witness for those who do not know what they are missing- invite them to things, or for the older people, they appreciate seeing young people who are there for their love of Jesus. Luckily, at my home (vs. parents), there are lotsa us 20-30 yr olds, we outnumber the older people :). I think it very much varies by region. I blame much of it on poor catechisis, and I know to get younger people to really understand Jesus, the Church, the ‘big picture,’ groups are great but what I think will really help is if we can get all the faithful learning- and teaching it to our kids, with a passion.
 
we are in a college town, and there is a Catholic campus ministry, so the 3 parishes assume they are taking care of young adults (their title is Young Adult Ministry) for the area, so don’t do anything on their own. We have advertized YA events the last 3 years and gotten absolutely no response. We don’t see them until they come for marriage prep, or confirmation because they are getting married. All of our social events and adult ed events are advertised and specifically welcome YA, but have very low participation, except for the Wed night apologetics class.

we did an informal count at Masses 2 weekends, and saw very few young adults (those who appeared to be in their 20s) who were not with their families. My guess is they don’t come to Mass, at least not here, hope they go on campus, which is an evening Mass.

Maybe you are being called to evangelize? You know where your friends congregate, what they need, what they would respond to better than we do. Think about it.
 
I’ll be 20 in a few days. I see a few 20-25 yr old Catholics around. Most of them go to the 6pm Sunday night mass and turn up about half an hour late. There are others I know in this age group who don’t go to mass, or else turn up to mass but still do things that Catholics should never do (like having pre-marital sex). There was one girl who I thought was a terrific Catholic - used to go to mass, even do the readings, didn’t get up to anything wrong - until she was converted by the protestants a little while ago.

What’s going on? Is it just the times we live in? How can there be devout 40 year old Catholics if there were never any devout 20-25 year old Catholics? Although thing is, a lot of the devout 40 year old Catholics were cradle Catholics who were married and starting to have children around 20-25 (like my parents). Or else they were priests who joined the seminary out of high school.
God’s love for us didn’t suddenly change around the end of the 20th century, so how come our love for Him seemed to change?

I helped to start a pro-life group at my uni. Some devout Catholics in that age group joined. But only 1 of them lives within a 1-hour drive from me.

I guess I am alone. Not only alone, but lonely. But not so lonely that it gets me down - I’m finally getting used to it.
 
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Flopfoot:
What’s going on? Is it just the times we live in? How can there be devout 40 year old Catholics if there were never any devout 20-25 year old Catholics? Although thing is, a lot of the devout 40 year old Catholics were cradle Catholics who were married and starting to have children around 20-25 (like my parents). Or else they were priests who joined the seminary out of high school.
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These are exactly the sort of questions I asked when I was 20 - 25.
One answer might be that many from this age group are on college campuses relying on the Catholic campus chaplains. Naturally that idea leads to more scary thoughts and questions if you know how some Catholic campus chaplains can be.
God’s love for us didn’t suddenly change around the end of the 20th century, so how come our love for Him seemed to change?
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I think you are wondering how a person who is not devout during the 20-25 age range suddenly gets religious again. I wondered that too. Perhaps when men and women seek to get married in the Church and start families they become serious about knowing God again.
Think of the story about the workers in the field and this will make sense to you. Matthew 20:1-16
 
Nathan - I believe your concerns happen in ALL denominations, not just the Catholic Church.
 
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DJgang:
Nathan - I believe your concerns happen in ALL denominations, not just the Catholic Church.
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Yep - thats why as a protestant I started attending another denomination that I didn’t entirely agree with, because they had a large grad and career group - three sunday school classes worth! As opposed to my old Protestant sunday school class in my old church where there was 2 of us singles and 2 married couples and that was it - 6 people in a sunday school class!!!

I think it depends on the area - I’ve done a bit of website reading on the sites of some Parishes in the area I’m probably moving, and it seems that they must have a decent sized amount of young people, but then its in an area that is likely to have a large number of “young professionals” so that might be why they aren’t having as large a problem as other areas…
 
Hello Nathan,
I do think there is a hole in the Church’s ministry to young singles. One thing which occurred to me is Knights of Columbus. If you are lucky, there is a council in your parish full of believing, hard working men who are serious about their faith. Most will be married, but, if you are even luckier, there may be some younger guys in the group. Even the married ones may have sisters, if that’s what you are looking for 🙂 If they’re all old, they have a recruitment problem and you may be just what they are looking for! Just a suggestion.
 
What I meant by “God’s love for us didn’t suddenly change around the end of the 20th century, so how come our love for Him seemed to change?” was that the world as a whole has turned against God. It used to be a rare and looked down upon thing for someone to not be a Christian or not go to church in a western country at the start of the 20th century. You could call places like Australia and the USA “Christian countries”. Now it is a rare thing to be a Christian - that title wouldn’t really fit us anymore. My question is, why now? But I guess there’s other threads for discussing that.
 
Make friends with some of the older folks! I’m teaching PSR and active in our PCCW group; I tend to be the youngest in each group–by a lot (except for the two 18 year olds who are teaching PSR with their moms). These older men and women are great fun to be around!!! I’m a bit older than you, 28. I like the idea of starting up a group of 20-somethings. Maybe there are other 20-somethings out there thinking the same thing you are!
 
I completely agree with those who have said that YOU should start something. I say that because that’s what I did.

Once I came into a relationship with Christ and learned what the Catholic Church is all about all I saw around me were people who seemed to have no clue but just going through the motions. I tried at two different parishes to start up some sort of adult education but the pastors weren’t interested. 2 years ago we moved and I found a parish that is very open to people starting new things so I started a mom’s group. I got involved in Life in the Spirit and this past year even gave a talk on salvation there. I got myself on the Adult Faith Enrichment team right away but am still waiting for an opportunity to truly evangelize Catholics about a personal relationship with Christ (the church does a great job with teaching about our relationship to the church but often times at the expense of teaching about the personal aspect of our faith). I’m keeping my eye open for when the Lord opens that door for me.

Step up and get involved. Perhaps Jesus put this particular bee in your bonnet and is looking to do great things through you!!

In Christ,
Nancy 🙂
 
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