This is so incredibly frustrating for me as well. Both women I’ve been in relationships with have wanted to make out, and I’ve been, well, reticent for the most part and accepting. Now, obviously to some degree with both of them it has been sinful, although I’ve tried to limit it.
Both the women I’ve been in relationships with have been the sexual aggressors. Good, Christian, virgin women. However, for whatever reason, I’m irresistable. I’m perfectly happy waiting until marriage to kiss. I found out that the daughter of a priest I know is into that (she’s orthodox), but sadly, there are few Catholic women willing to do that.
And most of the Christian women who want to wait until marriage to kiss are insane. I’ve just noticed this. And none of them come through on the promise, except the really insane ones.
So, yes, you’re being a good boyfriend. I hate it because there’s like this twist and pull to relationships when it comes to the physical. If the woman isn’t getting enough she feels like she isn’t cared about by the guy, and guys try to push women beyond the limits that they want because they want physical pleasure. When the guy isn’t seeking his own physical pleasure in the relationship, a hammer is thrown in and suddenly the woman becomes the sexual aggressor. It’s a really annoying position to be in.
As for what everyone else says - if you’re not in a position to marry the girl at the end of the thing, avoid the relationship. If she is awesome and worth it, go for it. If she doesn’t want to marry you, or possibly marry you, avoid her like the plague.
Dating is a discernment process for a marriage partner. If you don’t plan on marrying in the near future, you probably shouldn’t be dating. Friends, yes. Boyfriend, no. And both parties need to be aware of that.
And if she’s got no plans for marrying you, why does she want to make out with you? Never mind, I already know–it’s just for fun. She wants to use you.
My ex-girlfriend is a virgin, orthodox Catholic woman. She’s very intelligent, loves Jesus, goes to Mass, prays, against contraception, etc. She also found me very attractive and dated me during a spiritually hard time in my life and I found peace through the Catholic Faith which she shared with me.
However, for the two months that we dated, she was fooling herself into thinking that our dating relationship was open to marriage. If she had really looked deep down, I’m sure she would have realized that she was only going to dump me at the end of the summer. I was totally open to marriage. I thought she was awesome.
It just amazes me that women are the sexual aggressors in relationships these days. I was the one not putting out in that relationship (no, not actual sex, in case you didn’t read my post - not even mutual masturbation). I’m just so incredibly sick of it.
That is what contraception has done to our society.
