Am I being insulting to God? Don't want to lose spiritual growth!

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2Bcatholic

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THIS REALLY BOTHERS ME!!!

Only a few months ago I was able to pray alone in my room for an hour to two hours in the evening, participate in Eucharsitic adoration several times a week, pray the rosary and read the Bible; but now I am experiencing MAJOR SPIRITUAL DRYNESS and can no longer pray. I always offer my day up with my morning prayer and I always have God on my mind and in my heart! I can say very short scripted prayers throughout the day BUT I don’t spend my alone time with him anymore because I am completely empty!!

I can stare at his picture but my mind quickly wonders off and all of the distractions of the day carries me away. I hate this but it’s true!

I was wondering if I am no longer spending this alone time with Jesus but I do watch EWTN, pray the rosary (even though I can’t really meditate anymore), and read the bible is this still considered a form of prayer and pleasing to Him or am I insulting Him?
I don’t want to lose any spiritual growth I’ve gained and am very sad because of the situation.
Any advice?
 
No — based on what you have written, you are not insulting God. You must accept this, lest your dryness become despair.

Do you have a spiritual director? Having a person to speak with about these experiences is a valuable thing.

Regards,
Joe
 
Yes, I do have a spiritual director and He told me to sit through the emptiness but I have found it to be torture and have not followed through with it.
 
Can I ask for how many years you’ve been praying in the manner you described (that is, prior to your dry time)?

(The following has been my own experience. Reading various books helped me to understand as I went through it.)

Often when one first begins praying, God sends spiritual favors to encourage us to continue. You might say, it’s His way of “alluring” us to spend time with Him, to establish a regular prayer life. In this initial stage, the spiritual favors can be so pleasurable that the desire to receive them can become our major motivation - selfish motives almost. And so the time comes when God “forces” us to progress – often by withdrawing all spiritual favors. It is a call to examine our love for Him. Were we willing to be with Him only because of the spiritual favors He gave us? - Because of what we got out of it? Will we still spend time with Him in prayer because we know He desires it and we want to give Him pleasure?

If you’ve been praying (in the manner you described) for many years, it will still be a test to see if you will spend time with God even if you get nothing out of it.

In my own personal experience, some of the original favors no longer occur. Later there was a new one – but it occurs only rarely. Some days I have to force myself to keep the particular prayer commitment I’ve made (approx. 15 years ago); other days it’s very easy.

If you do any reading about prayer, you’ll learn that the most beneficial times (re: meriting graces) are the times one is faithful to prayer during dry times. In the easy, favor filled prayer times, we are the one receiving the graces.

I urge you to continue in prayer, and offer up all the anguish for the salvation of souls. Perhaps you need to reexamine the amount of time you spend each day. But choose a realistic commitment and make every effort to hold to it. It is part of the work we are called to do as followers of Our Lord.

God bless you,
Nita
 
2Bcatholic said:
Yes, I do have a spiritual director and He told me to sit through the emptiness but I have found it to be torture and have not followed through with it.
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Since you have a spiritual director, you should follow through on his/her advice, and if you are unable to follow that advice, then it needs to be talked out with him or her; meanwhile, stay in Peace and dont be concerned that you are not following your director’s advice - The Lord understands - while ensuring the very next contact with your director, you will talk it all out until you can arrive at a happy conclusion and one that you will be able to keep. Sometimes in direction, one is given advice that one thinks at that time that one will be able to follow, but in practise this assumption proves incorrect - one merely takes this inability back to one’s director for further discussion.
The Lord does not ask the impossible. Be in Peace!..and Peace be with you…

Blessings…Barb:)
 
2Bcatholic said:
Yes, I do have a spiritual director and He told me to sit through the emptiness but I have found it to be torture and have not followed through with it.
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:rotfl:

I know that this wasn’t intended to be funny, and I don’t want to offend, but how often God must hear those exact same words (I know I’ve said them!).

Think of it this way- as a student, we are tested before we go on to the next level of our education. You have been given amazing graces- extended prayer time, frequent Eucharistic adoration, etc. etc.- now, it’s exam time. What are you going to do now that it’s not so easy? What are you going to show God you’ve learned through all your Scripture reading, Rosary meditations and adoration?

Are you going to throw your hands up and say in essence, “This test is too hard- I haven’t learned my lessons!” or are you going to show God that you’re ready to pass on to an even deeper relationship with Him?

If tests were easy, they wouldn’t be much of a test. But then again, there would be no way to demonstrate to God what we’ve learned from our walk with Him.

Thank God you have a spiritual advisor. Place yourself in obedience to him and follow his direction. Show God that you didn’t squander all the graces He gave you when your prayer life was easy and rewarding.
 
Feedmysheep said:
:rotfl:

I know that this wasn’t intended to be funny, and I don’t want to offend, but how often God must hear those exact same words (I know I’ve said them!).

Think of it this way- as a student, we are tested before we go on to the next level of our education. You have been given amazing graces- extended prayer time, frequent Eucharistic adoration, etc. etc.- now, it’s exam time. What are you going to do now that it’s not so easy? What are you going to show God you’ve learned through all your Scripture reading, Rosary meditations and adoration?

Are you going to throw your hands up and say in essence, “This test is too hard- I haven’t learned my lessons!” or are you going to show God that you’re ready to pass on to an even deeper relationship with Him?

If tests were easy, they wouldn’t be much of a test. But then again, there would be no way to demonstrate to God what we’ve learned from our walk with Him.

Thank God you have a spiritual advisor. Place yourself in obedience to him and follow his direction. Show God that you didn’t squander all the graces He gave you when your prayer life was easy and rewarding.
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…well said!..
 
2Bcatholic said:
THIS REALLY BOTHERS ME!!!

Only a few months ago I was able to pray alone in my room for an hour to two hours in the evening, participate in Eucharsitic adoration several times a week, pray the rosary and read the Bible; but now I am experiencing MAJOR SPIRITUAL DRYNESS and can no longer pray. I always offer my day up with my morning prayer and I always have God on my mind and in my heart! I can say very short scripted prayers throughout the day BUT I don’t spend my alone time with him anymore because I am completely empty!!

I can stare at his picture but my mind quickly wonders off and all of the distractions of the day carries me away. I hate this but it’s true!

I was wondering if I am no longer spending this alone time with Jesus but I do watch EWTN, pray the rosary (even though I can’t really meditate anymore), and read the bible is this still considered a form of prayer and pleasing to Him or am I insulting Him?
I don’t want to lose any spiritual growth I’ve gained and am very sad because of the situation.
Any advice?
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It appears that you are having a similar experience to what many of the great Saints and Mother Teresa had. This is probably a great blessing. I suggest you read Come Be My Light, the private writings of Mother Teresa. It may bring you consolation.
 
Dear 2bCatholic,

You may be experiencing the dark night of sense, which occurs at the beginning of infused contemplation. Fr. Thomas Dubay explains how to identify the dark night of sense:
A person can recognize the beginnings of infused prayer when three signs are found together (one or another by itself is not enough - it could be due to something on a merely natural plane):
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  1. One experiences a disinclination to meditate discursively, an inability to profit from active reflecting. This disinclination and inability are not due to laxity, but rather to being drawn toward God in a simple, idealess way. Even though distractions may abound, the Lord is infusing a dark longing for himself. This yearning is usually dry, delicate, and brief.
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  1. An inner perception of emptiness replaces the ideas and pleasures of former discursive thinking. The person is giving up worldly pleasures and is not yet purified sufficiently to enjoy God with any depth. Hence, there is a lack of comfort and closeness. The Lord seems distant and finite things do not satisfy.
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  1. There is a marked earnestness in serving God better. This sign shows that the first two do no proceed from mediocrity, but from a new and better form of prayer.
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Source: Seeking Spiritual Direction: How to Grow the Divine Life Within
by Thomas Dubay, S.M. p. 185
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You can get a general overview of contemplation here on ewtn.
 
no you are not being insulting,…rather am sure God would be pleased that you ae actually caring about your prayer time, many people do not. I remember seeing Saint Jose Maria Escriva talking about this when he was asked a question about times when you couldn’t pray. He said basically say to God, ‘Lord am here, don’t know what to say or do, but am before you…’’, not exactly what he said but it was along those lines. Sit and relax knowing that you are a child of God. Remember the Holy Spirit will understand everything you feel as clearly as if you had put it into words. Continue putting in the effort, maybe something will come to you that gives you a fervent spirit. If not, His will be done. It’s always a good test, God lets unpleasant things happen to you so it turns out wel in the future. God Bless.
 
Thank you all for the very helpful posts…

I happened to be watching EWTN this morning (Mother Angelica’s re-runs) and she was talking with her guest Fr. Raymond Gawronski about this very problem! I cannot count the number of times I’ve needed an answer to a question and the very next day I would be watching EWTN only to hear Mother Angelica discussing what I needed to know. God works in wonderful ways.

In short, they both discussed (as several of you had already mentioned) the value/importance of spiritual dryness and why we must perservere!

After reading your posts yesterday morning I forced myself to do my prayer hour and want to thank you for the encouragement. Please keep me in your prayers…Hopefully, this drought will soon pass but not my will but his be done. He knows what’s best for me.

Yes, I have read Blessed Mother Teresa’s memoirs and realize that she suffered spiritual darkness/dryness for many, many, many years…What an amazing woman and soon to be saint I hope!
 
Good to read that you have returned to your time of prayer:thumbsup: …I hope you will still mention all this to your spiritual director, as dryness in prayer can have various causes which may need to be talked out and addressed. During dryness you could prayerfully read/recite prayerfully rote or written prayers always/frequently recalling to mind we are forever in The Lord’s Presence whether we realize this and/or feel it or whether we do not - and whether we are in consolation or in dryness. This is our Faith.
Keeping you in prayer and asking yours for all of us…
…God’s blessings - Barb:)
 
I will definately speak to my spiritual director about the dryness…We’ve been talking about this for several weeks now; so he’s very much aware of the problem.

You mentioned reading/reciting written prayers…what are your thoughts about journaling in pray form? I know this sounds silly but I’ve found that I’m able to write short letters to God because I want to make an effort to pray.
 
2Bcatholic said:
I will definately speak to my spiritual director about the dryness…We’ve been talking about this for several weeks now; so he’s very much aware of the problem.

You mentioned reading/reciting written prayers…what are your thoughts about journaling in pray form? I know this sounds silly but I’ve found that I’m able to write short letters to God because I want to make an effort to pray.
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I’m glad that your dryness is under discussion with your spritual director - ask him too about any advice you have been given here, including mine, which appeals to you and be guided by him/her.

Personally, I think journalling prayerfully is another good move. Put yourself in Faith (even though you may feel nothing) in The Lord’s Presence and ask His Help. The Prayer of Humble Faith in dryness spiritual authors tell us is most pleasing to God.You could write a letter to Him and even perhaps then write how you think He would reply to you. But as I say, do mention all this to your director and as your transcending guide over and above any advice you may be given. You may like to light a candle where you plan to settle and write and begin and end with the Sign of The Cross. I pass this on as I am an artistic creature who finds ‘atmosphere’ helpful and am sensitive often to it.

To read prayerfully, again put yourself in Faith in The Lord’s Presence and ask His Help and then slowly read some spiritual book or text and if something has appeal to you, then pause and again, prayerfully think about it and chew it over…move on reading when you feel you would like to do so and have exhausted the ‘chewing over’.
With rote or written prayers, I apply my mind and heart to think about what the words are saying.

Another way I can find helps with dryness in prayer, but not everyone’s appeal, is to go for a slow walk with The Lord prayerfully and to be observant about all around me and ‘chew’ on them, thanking The Lord for them…or praying for them etc. etc.

Rightly or wrongly, I personally believe that prayer and prayer times should not be distressing…and if they are, then one definitely needs to speak to one’s director or to a priest etc. and not spend agonizing time in distressing dryness. In fact, I am sure it is St. Teresa of Avila who advised her nuns in such a situation, not to strive to pray mentally, but to do some good work for the love of God, which is also a prayer. But then prayer is simply the raising of the mind and heart to God and if a walk, a book, rote prayers or written prayers, or journalling helps in this quest, then to follow.

I am still compiling here a Folder of articles that appeal on the subject of prayer including difficulties with prayer. I will send the list and links to you via PM - something in the list may appeal to you.

God’s blessings …Barb:)
Edit: I was unable to send you a PM or email. I will sometime today or this evening (11.51am here Wed. 23July) initiate a thread on “Prayer including Difficulties in Prayer” into this Spirituality Forum and put the list into that thread. I had not intended to do this just yet, but no matter.
 
BarbaraTherese:

Thank you for your links to difficulties with prayer!!! I have found them to be very helpful and will continue to use them in the future.
 
I thought I’d weigh in on this subject since I have only recently been through exactly what you are going through. I too was only able to recite prayers, Hail Mary’s, Our Fathers, etc. I tried and tried to meditate only to be dashed by an inability to think of anything that wasn’t insignificant. I knew there were and are things in my life I need to pray for and about, but I just couldn’t. With much contemplation at Mass one Sunday, it occurred to me I felt empty and without our Lord, but I was completely wrong!

I posted about my dryness and this is what I posted in another thread:
I’m lonely and feeling very unsure of things right now. It has been so “dark” of late and my soul is aching.
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I know God is especially near right now as these times are when He is there more so than ever. As I sat in Mass the other day contemplating on my inability to pray anything other than the old stand by prayers, it occurred to me when I feel the most empty, the most dry and completely alone in THIS world, I AM empty, and God has filled me up. I simply need to “learn” to be able to draw on that presence and “feel” God within. But it’s so hard. I just can’t find it. All I can do is cry for what is missing. I now own stock on the Kleenex company for all the tissues I’ve used…LOL (that’s a tiny wry chuckle)
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I didn’t instantly get rid of my dryness with this revelation, but it did help to ease my mind to know God was really close and not far away. Knowing this, I could simply utter “I know You are here God” or “Thank you God for being with me”

Hope this gives you something else to consider and I pray you will find your prayer life again and begin to not just know God is with you but begin to feel it as well.
 
I am impressed with your spirituality. The dark night of the soul will not stop you. It is like a wheel. One is at the high point, but the wheel turns and the bottom soon approaches. The key is to find the center that neither goes up or down that is your spiritual relationship with Christ. Talk to him directly and he will guide you.
 
soma said:
I am impressed with your spirituality. The dark night of the soul will not stop you. It is like a wheel. One is at the high point, but the wheel turns and the bottom soon approaches. The key is to find the center that neither goes up or down that is your spiritual relationship with Christ. Talk to him directly and he will guide you.
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It’s more likely the OP is in the dark night of sense, which is different from the dark night of the soul. The dark night of the soul happens at a very advanced state of sanctity just before the transforming union, or spiritual marriage.

When it comes to infused prayer, we cannot control it. Contemplation is a gift from God and it is our job to accept the ups and downs with resignation, rather than trying to force ourselves into “a center that neither goes up or down.”
 
2Bcatholic said:
THIS REALLY BOTHERS ME!!!

Only a few months ago I was able to pray alone in my room for an hour to two hours in the evening, participate in Eucharsitic adoration several times a week, pray the rosary and read the Bible; but now I am experiencing MAJOR SPIRITUAL DRYNESS and can no longer pray. I always offer my day up with my morning prayer and I always have God on my mind and in my heart! I can say very short scripted prayers throughout the day BUT I don’t spend my alone time with him anymore because I am completely empty!!

I can stare at his picture but my mind quickly wonders off and all of the distractions of the day carries me away. I hate this but it’s true!

I was wondering if I am no longer spending this alone time with Jesus but I do watch EWTN, pray the rosary (even though I can’t really meditate anymore), and read the bible is this still considered a form of prayer and pleasing to Him or am I insulting Him?
I don’t want to lose any spiritual growth I’ve gained and am very sad because of the situation.
Any advice?
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Maybe you’re over-ritualizing your devotion. Christ was active in the world. Christ is with us always. We can and should pray to Him always, wherever we are, under any circumstances. How much do you think soldiers in combat pray? A lot. They pray always, especially when fighting, killing and dying. Christ is always with us, wherever we are, whatever we’re doing. I keep a rosary in my pocket, and grab it and pray, perhaps as many as a hundred times a day.
 
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