Am I being scrupulous please someone help!

[Roxygirl1488]

I don’t believe I have ever struggled from scrupulosity before, and I am unsure if I am struggling with it now. I made my first confession years ago when I had my conversion, I don’t remember ever knowingly withholding anything from confession. I started going to frequent confession recently every week to help with some obsessive thoughts that I was told by a priest were diabolically as well as psychologically influenced but to get rid of the diabolical part of it, to frequent confession. So I had started doing that every week for a few months now, I saw major improvements with my depression but now I’m feeling bad again. I remember a sin that was grave matter that happened when I was between the ages of 8-10 years old. I don’t remember if I realized that I was going to go to hell if I committed it, or why I chose to commit the sin but I know it was at least grave matter. I’m 27 so it was so long ago. Either way, I couldn’t sleep well for days I was up all night worrying if I was in mortal sin, so I finally called a priest explained I was worried about this sin I committed when I was younger and confessed it. I remember thinking okay that is it, that is the ONE major sin I know that I never confessed and now I confessed it and if I die I will be in a state of grace, and for like a whole 5 min a felt peace again. Right away though, another sin came to mind that I committed around that time, and I was like oh great I didn’t confess that sin, and now I am worried I’m not really forgiven or in a state of grace. The priest who absolved me told me not to look back at my past anymore and to look forward and emphasized in my confession/absolution part he said “ALL of your sins are forgiven” placing an obvious emphasis to me on the all part. Originally when I was concerned about this particular past sin I spoke to a priest who told me that next time I went to confession to just tell the priest “I would like to remember any past sins I might not have remembered to confess.” Instead of listening to him I went ahead and confessed what the sin I committed in my past was today. I now am worried if I go to confession again this saturday to confess this other past sin that came to my mind, after I get absolution another past sin will come up and I will worry I am in mortal sin all over again. I know they are grave matter but I can’t recall if I had full knowledge or full consent since it happened so long ago, I am concerned maybe I did have full knowledge and I am just not remembering so therefore I’m not truly forgiven since I never confessed them. Does any of this sound familiar? Is this scrupulosity or am I being tempted to not trust in Jesus mercy or is my past sins coming from God so that I confess them? I can’t sleep I am so worried God is not happy with me or that because I forgot to confess this other sin that I am in mortal sin.

 

[Pfaffenhoffen]

I don’t believe I have ever struggled from scrupulosity before, and I am unsure if I am struggling with it now. I made my first confession years ago when I had my conversion, I don’t remember ever knowingly withholding anything from confession. I started going to frequent confession recently every week to help with some obsessive thoughts that I was told by a priest were diabolically as well as psychologically influenced but to get rid of the diabolical part of it, to frequent confession. So I had started doing that every week for a few months now, I saw major improvements with my depression but now I’m feeling bad again. I remember a sin that was grave matter that happened when I was between the ages of 8-10 years old. I don’t remember if I realized that I was going to go to hell if I committed it, or why I chose to commit the sin but I know it was at least grave matter. I’m 27 so it was so long ago. Either way, I couldn’t sleep well for days I was up all night worrying if I was in mortal sin, so I finally called a priest explained I was worried about this sin I committed when I was younger and confessed it. I remember thinking okay that is it, that is the ONE major sin I know that I never confessed and now I confessed it and if I die I will be in a state of grace, and for like a whole 5 min a felt peace again. Right away though, another sin came to mind that I committed around that time, and I was like oh great I didn’t confess that sin, and now I am worried I’m not really forgiven or in a state of grace. The priest who absolved me told me not to look back at my past anymore and to look forward and emphasized in my confession/absolution part he said “ALL of your sins are forgiven” placing an obvious emphasis to me on the all part. Originally when I was concerned about this particular past sin I spoke to a priest who told me that next time I went to confession to just tell the priest “I would like to remember any past sins I might not have remembered to confess.” Instead of listening to him I went ahead and confessed what the sin I committed in my past was today. I now am worried if I go to confession again this saturday to confess this other past sin that came to my mind, after I get absolution another past sin will come up and I will worry I am in mortal sin all over again. I know they are grave matter but I can’t recall if I had full knowledge or full consent since it happened so long ago, I am concerned maybe I did have full knowledge and I am just not remembering so therefore I’m not truly forgiven since I never confessed them. Does any of this sound familiar? Is this scrupulosity or am I being tempted to not trust in Jesus mercy or is my past sins coming from God so that I confess them? I can’t sleep I am so worried God is not happy with me or that because I forgot to confess this other sin that I am in mortal sin.

You seem to be depressed. You do not seem to sleep at night, you see everything black, mortal sins entertain you, you have thoughts that go on and on without you being to stop. The priest is seeing it in you and I thing you should get adice.

See whether you find a good psychiatrist you can afford and see that the chemistry of your brain is well balanced. Only he can tell.

Don’t dwell on religion only. God helps in thousand of ways, one of which is through doctors. confessing every 5 minutes is NOT the way.

Go and find help.

 

[Redbulls133]

Hi Roxy,

I agree with every word Pfaffenhoffen said to you. You exhibit symptoms of depression and you’ve become obsessed with things you cannot control. I feel badly for you as the pain you’re in is obvious, at least to me. If you can any way afford it, please go see a psychiatrist and get evaluated. Jesus heals in many ways and sometimes it’s through our doctors. God Bless you Roxy, and I hope you find the peace you’re desperately searching for.

 

[fide]

I don’t believe I have ever struggled from scrupulosity before, and I am unsure if I am struggling with it now. I made my first confession years ago when I had my conversion, I don’t remember ever knowingly withholding anything from confession. I started going to frequent confession recently every week to help with some obsessive thoughts that I was told by a priest were diabolically as well as psychologically influenced but to get rid of the diabolical part of it, to frequent confession. So I had started doing that every week for a few months now, I saw major improvements with my depression but now I’m feeling bad again. I remember a sin that was grave matter that happened when I was between the ages of 8-10 years old. I don’t remember if I realized that I was going to go to hell if I committed it, or why I chose to commit the sin but I know it was at least grave matter. I’m 27 so it was so long ago. Either way, I couldn’t sleep well for days I was up all night worrying if I was in mortal sin, so I finally called a priest explained I was worried about this sin I committed when I was younger and confessed it. I remember thinking okay that is it, that is the ONE major sin I know that I never confessed and now I confessed it and if I die I will be in a state of grace, and for like a whole 5 min a felt peace again. Right away though, another sin came to mind that I committed around that time, and I was like oh great I didn’t confess that sin, and now I am worried I’m not really forgiven or in a state of grace. The priest who absolved me told me not to look back at my past anymore and to look forward and emphasized in my confession/absolution part he said “ALL of your sins are forgiven” placing an obvious emphasis to me on the all part. Originally when I was concerned about this particular past sin I spoke to a priest who told me that next time I went to confession to just tell the priest “I would like to remember any past sins I might not have remembered to confess.” Instead of listening to him I went ahead and confessed what the sin I committed in my past was today. I now am worried if I go to confession again this saturday to confess this other past sin that came to my mind, after I get absolution another past sin will come up and I will worry I am in mortal sin all over again. I know they are grave matter but I can’t recall if I had full knowledge or full consent since it happened so long ago, I am concerned maybe I did have full knowledge and I am just not remembering so therefore I’m not truly forgiven since I never confessed them. Does any of this sound familiar? Is this scrupulosity or am I being tempted to not trust in Jesus mercy or is my past sins coming from God so that I confess them? I can’t sleep I am so worried God is not happy with me or that because I forgot to confess this other sin that I am in mortal sin.

You do seem to describe scrupulosity, but having a word is not the same as overcoming it. This link is to a good article on the matter - perhaps it can help you.

I would also recommend time for prayer before the Cross, seeking to see into that image that great and infinite and continuing love of God for every human being He has created - specifically and personally, you. The Cross shows His love for you, and His will for your happiness and salvation.

The evil one, on the other hand, seeks to throw stumbling blocks in the paths of those beloved by God. Victory over all his efforts is found in the power of our faith in God - faith comes by His grace, and His grace is already a participation in His holy life. So open your heart fully to His grace, to faith, to His love at the Cross - against these, there is no victory. Greater is He who is in you, than anything that is of this world.

 

[Bookcat]

Get yourself a good “regular confessor”…ask him if you are dealing with scrupulosity and if so ask him to guide you.