Am I being selfish?

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iamrefreshed

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Sunday Mass is becoming more and more difficult for me to attend. Yesterday I was shocked at the amount of talking going on as The Eucharist was being distributed. I could not concentrate on my prayers. That is among the worst things going on. The talking before Mass is also bad.

Personally I think it is because of these “modern” church buildings. There is no feeling of being in a holy place. They are cavernous and seem sterile. What I wouldn’t do to have a Church nearby that has some stained glass and art!

I also expect that our Parish adhere to Liturgical Law as dictated by Rome. We don’t. What should I do, if anything? Is it me?
 
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iamrefreshed:
Sunday Mass is becoming more and more difficult for me to attend. Yesterday I was shocked at the amount of talking going on as The Eucharist was being distributed. I could not concentrate on my prayers. That is among the worst things going on. The talking before Mass is also bad.

Personally I think it is because of these “modern” church buildings. There is no feeling of being in a holy place. They are cavernous and seem sterile. What I wouldn’t do to have a Church nearby that has some stained glass and art!

I also expect that our Parish adhere to Liturgical Law as dictated by Rome. We don’t. What should I do, if anything? Is it me?
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I don’t think you are asking too much. I know that many posters will chime in with the “we should just be glad they are in church” comments but where does it end?
Have you considered looking for another parish?
 
netmil(name removed by moderator):
I don’t think you are asking too much. I know that many posters will chime in with the “we should just be glad they are in church” comments but where does it end?
Have you considered looking for another parish?
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i would consider the above advice:thumbsup:
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I used to get very distracted by the talking and overall irreverence at Sunday Mass (and I probably will again someday), but I found that by praying for the talker/or whatever they’re doing that’s caught your ear/eye, right then and there, turns a distraction into a pleasing-to-God (I hope) action…I also find a bit of pity for them at that point and pray even more fervently for a deeper conversion for them…now I seldom am distracted, but if so, praying for them (in a humble way and really meaning it) makes a world of difference.

Penitent
 
My understanding is that I am supposed to be registered in the Parish where I live. My kids also attend CCD there. I think my problem is that I was raised in NYC and I’m used to older, smaller Churches.

This hand holding and 6-8 EM’s is not for me. I don’t know what to do. At least the daily Mass is somewhat better. Get this…even the daily Mass has an EM with only about 20 celebrants. Is that insane?!

I am going to try going to a Byzantine Church nearby in a couple of weeks.
 
Your not being selfish, but you could be more pro-active. However it is a shame that you have to be. I too live in a parish with modern architecture, and love the old, but I don’t think this is the problem. The obvious is to have your priest make announcements & comments eithor written or oral depending on the personality of your priest. It is also nice to get to know the people in the parish office to see if others are commenting and if they are trying to help. Again, you come to Church to pray, not to correct issues.

One thing I do during Sunday Mass is to close my eyes during most of the full hour. This does not take away from the noise, but it does help me. I think if we dwell too much on the bad, it can actually make it worse. That is why I sit up front and close my eyes and concentrate on the Lord! When my eyes are open, I usually focus on our large crucifix behind the alter. It can be amazing how much this works, even when it seems things are very loud.
 
No, you aren’t asking for too much. My parish is also like that. People talking noisily before mass and after mass. I think it is because the church architecture really is absent a sense of the sacred. Churches are consecrated, which means set apart specifically for worship. When people treat the church proper as a meeting hall, they disrespect the presence of Jesus in the tabernacle.

Now, all that being said, many of the parishoners have probably never been educated as to how to act properly in the church prior to and after mass. And I think that the example of the pastor lends to the problem.
 
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Penitent:
I used to get very distracted by the talking and overall irreverence at Sunday Mass (and I probably will again someday), but I found that by praying for the talker/or whatever they’re doing that’s caught your ear/eye, right then and there, turns a distraction into a pleasing-to-God (I hope) action…I also find a bit of pity for them at that point and pray even more fervently for a deeper conversion for them…now I seldom am distracted, but if so, praying for them (in a humble way and really meaning it) makes a world of difference.

Penitent
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Actually, I do that with my kids!
I pray in a very loud voice, “Please Holy Lord, give me the patience to endure these children you have given me as a blessing. Forgive them for (whatever is going on), as I trust in you that they are being misguided. Holy Mother, although you had a perfect child, I ask you now to pray for me…”

I will go on with it until the behavior stops.

Although it might not work in this situation ;-)!
 
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iamrefreshed:
My understanding is that I am supposed to be registered in the Parish where I live. My kids also attend CCD there. I think my problem is that I was raised in NYC and I’m used to older, smaller Churches.

This hand holding and 6-8 EM’s is not for me. I don’t know what to do. At least the daily Mass is somewhat better. Get this…even the daily Mass has an EM with only about 20 celebrants. Is that insane?!

I am going to try going to a Byzantine Church nearby in a couple of weeks.
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Watch those CCD classes. I ended up “unteaching” what they taught.
Good for you on the Byzantine Church! It may be just the ticket. I was going to go to an Eastern Rite before I found my Holy Parish. (BTW I refused to stay in any church that I felt was not being guided the right way. It sounds like yours now)
 
Have you considered looking for another parish?
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i would consider the above advice:thumbsup:
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Moving your residence to another parish, just because your fellow parishioners are rude is a bit of an extreme reaction.

Do whatever you like, it is a mobile society and all, but I’d have to have a better reason to go through that kind of hassle.
 
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iamrefreshed:
Personally I think it is because of these “modern” church buildings. There is no feeling of being in a holy place. They are cavernous and seem sterile. What I wouldn’t do to have a Church nearby that has some stained glass and art!
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I hear ya!

My geographic parish church is two blocks away from my house, but I do not attend. It is one of the 1970’s style half circle churches, with brick walls, sterile, except for the modern art (which so many of us can’t figure out). Sunday morning before Mass finds a roar of talking, both from people sitting in the nave of the church and in the narthex. If people aren’t chatting, they are lounged about reading the diocesan newspaper or church bulletin. It is like being in a giant living room.

I guess if you make the building look like an auditorium, and dumb down the faith, what does one expect? Easy come, easy go, I say.

I attend Mass in another church in a neighboring community. Of course, that is easy for me, as I live in an urban area where another church is all of a mile or so away.

I suppose I will hear about being “judgemental” and “petty” from the forum “experts”.

Joe
 
Find another parish. Nothing wrong with that at all. And make sure you drop a note to the pastor at your old parish letting him know, in charity, why you can no longer attend and support his parish.

He might even appreciate it. 😃
 
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Kielbasi:
Moving your residence to another parish, just because your fellow parishioners are rude is a bit of an extreme reaction.

Do whatever you like, it is a mobile society and all, but I’d have to have a better reason to go through that kind of hassle.
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I can tell you from experience that when one finds a good parish, leaving the last is not a hassle, it’s a relief.
 
Dr. Bombay:
Find another parish. Nothing wrong with that at all. And make sure you drop a note to the pastor at your old parish letting him know, in charity, why you can no longer attend and support his parish.

He might even appreciate it. 😃
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Especially if he inherited some of the less than reverent habits. I think priests run into a great deal of resistance, including accusations of being unpastoral when they try to change habits like this. If you give him, in charity, your feedback, it may give him the impetus or ammunition to seek reform if he is so inclined.
 
netmil(name removed by moderator):
I can tell you from experience that when one finds a good parish, leaving the last is not a hassle, it’s a relief.
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As can I. Amen!
 
Yes, I also have been thinking of leaving my parish. Not only because of wanting to experience the TLM, I’ve realised that the Novus Ordo mass is quite… less reverent.

The music is okay, but there are times in which it can be really cheesy, I admit. It takes the whole mass away from me from the outdated music; for me, its either in gregorian chanting and old hymns, or the so-called praise and worship music. Anything in between is too cheesy for me (we get our hymnbooks from the Oregon Catholic publishers).

The lack of reverence in the mass as I try to pray is hard, and makes me more upset with the teens who are my age who lack respect for the eucharist.

Yes, perhaps I’m being abit picky in my criticism, but once I get a job, I’m taking the bus to the TLM for me! 🙂
 
Just a few thoughts,

Your obligation is to attend Mass, so just be sure you do not get so focused on how you would like to see the Mass celebrated that you forget your obligation. Some people feel they are justified in missing a valid Mass because of worship style or minor abuses.

Perhaps you are being challenged or tested.

Have you tried different Masses? Some Parishes do accommodate different worship styles. Our Parish has one very contemporary, one more traditional, and the rest in between.

God bless you in your journey.
 
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Mysty101:
Just a few thoughts,

Your obligation is to attend Mass, so just be sure you do not get so focused on how you would like to see the Mass celebrated that you forget your obligation. Some people feel they are justified in missing a valid Mass because of worship style or minor abuses.

Perhaps you are being challenged or tested.

Have you tried different Masses? Some Parishes do accommodate different worship styles. Our Parish has one very contemporary, one more traditional, and the rest in between.

God bless you in your journey.
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I have attended different Masses within the Parish. I have found the morning Mass to be a bit more solemn, but, as I said, even with 20 parishioners, we had a EM. Is that normal?

On another note. I had a wonderful experience this evening. I am in Atlanta on business. I wanted to attend Mass this evening so I found a local Church. It was in a very ethnic community (South American or Mexican, I do not know). I was the only Anglo. Our Priest was South Korean.

OH MY!!! How beautiful! Everything was threadbare but the devotion!!! I was ashamed at my past thoughts. I said my first Novena to the Holy Mother. I can’t describe how I felt. I was too ashamed to receive the Eucharist.

Maybe the Lord IS sending me a message! I pray I am able to receive it!
 
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iamrefreshed:
I have attended different Masses within the Parish. I have found the morning Mass to be a bit more solemn, but, as I said, even with 20 parishioners, we had a EM. Is that normal?

On another note. I had a wonderful experience this evening. I am in Atlanta on business. I wanted to attend Mass this evening so I found a local Church. It was in a very ethnic community (South American or Mexican, I do not know). I was the only Anglo. Our Priest was South Korean.

OH MY!!! How beautiful! Everything was threadbare but the devotion!!! I was ashamed at my past thoughts. I said my first Novena to the Holy Mother. I can’t describe how I felt. I was too ashamed to receive the Eucharist.

Maybe the Lord IS sending me a message! I pray I am able to receive it!
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Maybe your message is that an ethnic church is where you need to be!
 
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