Am I being uncharitable?

[Saphire]

My boss at work talks to me all day because we’re slow at work. Actually, she does it even when we’re busy, therefore, keeping me from doing my work. She talks about many areas of her life, her husband, her grandchild, and her extended family and she gossips to me. I, on the other hand, am a good listener, but I’m tired now of listening to her talk. As a matter of fact, I don’t want to here anyone talk about their troubles, their worries, their failures or any gossip either. I just want peace. Sometimes I can’t think because I am continuously being zapped by her constant chatter. I mean, just how much can a person talk in one day? I have depression and go to med checks every five or six months. I currently do not attend therapy because I think the counselors, therapists, are quacks. Sometimes I am so exhausted from listening to her talking that I come home and lay down on the sofa feeling so angry. I do attend mass weekly, go to confession, read scripture, and am reading the Devine Mercy in my Soul while I’m at work especially since we’re so slow. And guess what?: I get interrupted then also. My question is am I being uncharitable for complaining? And how do I pray for this person to find peace in their mind and not be so chatty towards me? I feel awful just writing about this, but I have no one else to talk to about it.

 

[Jeremyah]

My boss at work talks to me all day because we’re slow at work. Actually, she does it even when we’re busy, therefore, keeping me from doing my work. She talks about many areas of her life, her husband, her grandchild, and her extended family and she gossips to me. I, on the other hand, am a good listener, but I’m tired now of listening to her talk. As a matter of fact, I don’t want to here anyone talk about their troubles, their worries, their failures or any gossip either. I just want peace. Sometimes I can’t think because I am continuously being zapped by her constant chatter. I mean, just how much can a person talk in one day? I have depression and go to med checks every five or six months. I currently do not attend therapy because I think the counselors, therapists, are quacks. Sometimes I am so exhausted from listening to her talking that I come home and lay down on the sofa feeling so angry. I do attend mass weekly, go to confession, read scripture, and am reading the Devine Mercy in my Soul while I’m at work especially since we’re so slow. And guess what?: I get interrupted then also. My question is am I being uncharitable for complaining? And how do I pray for this person to find peace in their mind and not be so chatty towards me? I feel awful just writing about this, but I have no one else to talk to about it.

It’s okay. Don’t feel bad for this post. You’re venting, for one thing.

Pray for your boss. I can tell you this. She loves you. She might not know that but the reason she’s talking to you is that she needs to talk to someone and you’re the one that listens.

You’re building up treasures in Heaven from this. You really are.

The only advise I have for you is to tell her not to gossip to you. Don’t stop her from talking to you about other things but tell her you don’t want to hear the gossip.

Oh, and to answer your question, No, you are being VERY, Very charitable. Uncharitable is when you tell someone to shut up and to leave you alone. You’re not doing that. You’re thinking you’re being uncharitable because you often want to do that but don’t. That’s not uncharitable. That means you are being even more charitable because you’re listening even when you don’t want to.

God Bless you.

 

[Sunbreak]

You’re not being uncharitable to want to limit conversation with your boss. In situations where there is some work to do you could tell her you really feel you need to get back to work. At the times when there is nothing to do and all you are doing is reading, well, there’s not much you can do except try to change the subject if things get too annoying.

 

[Petaro]

I find that women who talk too much are usually very lonely. She also may be bored when things get slow. If things are that slow I see great value in sucking up to a boss who may be very handy when the redundancy issue comes up, but there I go and get cynical again.

Better to see it as storing up yellow daffodils in Heaven, what ever can get you through the day.
My wife rings her friends only to find that their husband/child/sister/MIL/ second cousin is in hospital in terrible pain and not likely to see the week out. Or their house has flooded and they cannot find the canary… I have asked her not to phone anyone for a month to see if anything gets better, but she continually rings back and then retails the same horrors to me again.
Now I don’t mind her visiting the sick, making meals, doing cleanups and burying budgies, just so long as I don’t hear about it. So I understand completely.
Find some obvious work and let your boss know that you will have to go off air for an hour to get through it. You have to feel a bit sorry for her. Bring a cake and have a big morning tea. This got my wife through many years of “hard” work.

 

[LPS]

I have a somewhat similar situation, and I also am an introvert who finds a constant barrage of talking to be exhausting.

Don’t be hard on yourself and judge yourself uncharitable because this is difficult for you! But do try to look at it from a new perspective. I heard a sermon once where the priest said that “discipline” doesn’t always mean punishment … it can be like the discipline of an athlete or musician … a practicing to become better. Think of this as God disciplining you, refining you, using this woman to help you become holy.

This woman is trying your patience; she is challenging you in many areas. Even if you don’t feel calm, charitable, patient or kind inside, by maintaining all of those in your actions you are being transformed!

Try to use your stress levels as a reminder to turn to God, to seek His help. Pray for yourself and for her. I think over time you will find you have developed genuine empathy for her.

I would say as far as the gossip, try to be a little pro-active. Never add to her gossip, and when you are able to re-direct her take that opportunity. Simply saying something like, “Oh, I don’t know about that; she has always been very kind to me.” or “I don’t like to hear speculation - we never really know what is going on in other peoples’ lives” and changing the subject might help.

God bless you

 

[Saphire]

Thank you all so much. I believe that with having read your comments, I may look at the situation from a different light. I do hope to gain patience and hope to overcome the anxieties I experience.

 

[Catolico65]

It’s okay. Don’t feel bad for this post. You’re venting, for one thing.

Pray for your boss. I can tell you this. She loves you. She might not know that but the reason she’s talking to you is that she needs to talk to someone and you’re the one that listens.

You’re building up treasures in Heaven from this. You really are.

The only advise I have for you is to tell her not to gossip to you. Don’t stop her from talking to you about other things but tell her you don’t want to hear the gossip.

Oh, and to answer your question, No, you are being VERY, Very charitable. Uncharitable is when you tell someone to shut up and to leave you alone. You’re not doing that. You’re thinking you’re being uncharitable because you often want to do that but don’t. That’s not uncharitable. That means you are being even more charitable because you’re listening even when you don’t want to.

God Bless you.