Am I Bound to Obey?

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Hey guys, I am 17 years old and am a Sophomore in college. Recently, I struck up a habit of going to mass twice a day. Once in the morning, once at noon. After morning mass today, my father forbid me from going twice a day. He said, it was “unnecessary.” Am I bound to obey him? Thank you for your (name removed by moderator)ut and Pax Christi.
 
Seems strange to me. You are allowed to receive communion twice in a day, let alone just attend. You could licitly attend Mass ten times a day if you wanted (though only receiving twice).

Is this a college chapel? Perhaps your pastor’s reasoning is that your college work might suffer and that piety, while commendable, should not be detrimental to your future if it can be avoided. But I speculate.
 
jackofalltopics said:
Hey guys, I am 17 years old and am a Sophomore in college. Recently, I struck up a habit of going to mass twice a day. Once in the morning, once at noon. After morning mass today, my father forbid me from going twice a day. He said, it was “unnecessary.” Am I bound to obey him? Thank you for your (name removed by moderator)ut and Pax Christi.
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Your father may think you are tending towards scruples or towards an overzealous and unhealthy piety.

You are a minor under the care of your parents, so you should listen to your father and refrain from going twice a day for now. Talk to him to understand his reasons. But, you should do as he asks.

You can also talk to your pastor about your habit of going to two daily masses each day, and examine what may be the impetus behind doing that-- why are you going to mass and then turning around and going again just 3 or 4 hours later? It’s not bad, but as your father said it is also not necessary and if you are feeling a compulsion to do it then it may be harmful to your spirituality.

We cannot know all these details and the dynamics of your relationship with your father, etc, so these are just some things to think about.

Ultimately, yes, be obedient to your father in this. If you want to revisit it at a later time, do so. Once you are older, you can make your own choices.
 
Is he a little anti-religious or does he have possibly valid argument about other areas of your life? Are you shirking family, social, work, or academic responsibilities in order to attend mass twice a day, or using up family resources to do so? Do you live at home or at college?

You may be “in the clear” on all of these, though technically, at seventeen, you are still legally a minor, and your father isn’t ordering you to do anything immoral.

Edit: As always, 1ke provides excellent and clear advice.
 
1ke said:
Your father may think you are tending towards scruples or towards an overzealous and unhealthy piety.

You are a minor under the care of your parents, so you should listen to your father and refrain from going twice a day for now. Talk to him to understand his reasons. But, you should do as he asks.

You can also talk to your pastor about your habit of going to two daily masses each day, and examine what may be the impetus behind doing that-- why are you going to mass and then turning around and going again just 3 or 4 hours later? It’s not bad, but as your father said it is also not necessary and if you are feeling a compulsion to do it then it may be harmful to your spirituality.

We cannot know all these details and the dynamics of your relationship with your father, etc, so these are just some things to think about.

Ultimately, yes, be obedient to your father in this. If you want to revisit it at a later time, do so. Once you are older, you can make your own choices.
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👍 Great advice.
 
jackofalltopics said:
Hey guys, I am 17 years old and am a Sophomore in college. Recently, I struck up a habit of going to mass twice a day. Once in the morning, once at noon. After morning mass today, my father forbid me from going twice a day. He said, it was “unnecessary.” Am I bound to obey him? Thank you for your (name removed by moderator)ut and Pax Christi.
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Yes, you must completely submit to your fathers authority.

Remember Jesus submitted to his heavingly father.
 
Do you have a regular confessor or a priest you can reach out to for spiritual direction? I think it would be of great help to your faith life to be under the care of a director, especially as you appear to have a great deal of zeal. A director can help you channel that appropriately and can answer questions like this that arise in your spiritual life.
 
1KE gives good advice.

Perhaps this is an opportunity to nurture your spiritual life in other areas. Talk with your priest – maybe you can become more involved in corporal works of mercy or other activities.
 
Obey your dad, as you’re a minor and he didn’t tell you to stop going entirely. When you are an adult, and not living on his dime, you can do as you please.
 
I can recommend a reading of St. John of the Cross on the purgative way. The first couple of chapters of Dark Night will help you to see what might be going on here, especially given your early advancement in school… Read and you will see what I mean. Up to chapter 7.

The answer will be clear to you.
 
I can’t really think of a good reason to assist at Mass twice a day on a regular basis. If you can point to a canonized saint somewhere who made this a regular part of his or her spiritual life, or the writings of a saint who affirms this practice, then I’ll stand corrected. But, while most religious communities expect their members to assist at daily Mass, none (that I’m aware of anyway) have the expectation that members assist at Mass twice on a day. Canon Law permits priests to celebrate Mass once a day, and twice for a pastoral need. But, the assumption is that these occasions are rare.

The Church allows Holy Communion twice in a day because she desires to allow the faithful to fully participate in the life of the Church by attending the Mass of the day, and then a funeral, or wedding, for instance. It was also in response to people who would just church hop around town all day, receiving Holy Communion multiple times each day. It was a catechetical point that you can’t multiply the infinite amount of grace available in receiving the Eucharist just once.

So, not only do you owe your father respect and obedience, as he is not requiring anything sinful of you, I would argue he’s also right from a spiritual standpoint.
 
buc_fan33 said:
I can’t really think of a good reason to assist at Mass twice a day on a regular basis. If you can point to a canonized saint somewhere who made this a regular part of his or her spiritual life, or the writings of a saint who affirms this practice, then I’ll stand corrected.
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He’s not a saint yet, but I believe I read that Venerable Matt Talbot attended several Masses every Sunday, although he only received Holy Communion at one.

Having said that, I note that
  • Matt Talbot was trying to keep from drinking, and the Masses likely provided him with some focus and social support to help avoid that, similar to AA meetings.
  • Matt Talbot was not a minor and did not have a father whom he needed to obey. As I stated above, I completely agree that, given the circumstances and the fact that his father is not asking him to do anything sinful or even to stop attending daily Mass, I think he should do what his father tells him.
 
As a general rule as you are a minor and live under your parents roof you are bound to obey your father.
“Obedience before sacrifice”
 
By way of a stupid question on my part, but noting that I think it’s also confused some of the responders to your question, when you say “your father” forbid you from attending twice "after Mass’, do you mean:
  1. Your actual parental father; or
  2. Your Priest (whom of course you call Father Jim, or whatever).
That might make quite a difference in regards to the response.
 
1ke said:
Your father may think you are tending towards scruples or towards an overzealous and unhealthy piety.

You are a minor under the care of your parents, so you should listen to your father and refrain from going twice a day for now. Talk to him to understand his reasons. But, you should do as he asks.

You can also talk to your pastor about your habit of going to two daily masses each day, and examine what may be the impetus behind doing that-- why are you going to mass and then turning around and going again just 3 or 4 hours later? It’s not bad, but as your father said it is also not necessary and if you are feeling a compulsion to do it then it may be harmful to your spirituality.

We cannot know all these details and the dynamics of your relationship with your father, etc, so these are just some things to think about.

Ultimately, yes, be obedient to your father in this. If you want to revisit it at a later time, do so. Once you are older, you can make your own choices.
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I would second the above; it is particularly unusual and peculaiar for anyone to be attending two Masses each day.

As an alternative, I would suggest that you investigate the other liturgy of the Church - the Liturgy of the Hours (often seen as LOTH). and to participate in this, you are most definitely not required to say all hours. Lauds and vespers is sufficient for many.

I would be surprised to find a priest who recommended daily mass twice a day, so I would not be the least bit surprised if you spoke with your pastor, or the priest where you attend Mass agreeing with your father that your practice was unnecessary and perhaps not healthy.
 
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