Am I Catholic?

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Am I Catholic?
I ask this because of an encounter I had recently at a local Parish. The short version of my story/question is as follows. I was born in the UK to a Church of England mother and a Roman Catholic father. My father had me baptized by a priest when I was a baby, with out my mother (or anyone else) knowing.
Then over the years growing up, both in the UK and here in the USA, he would take me to Mass whenever my mother wasn’t around to object. When I was old enough (according to him) he took me up to receive my first communion. Later, after my parents divorced, my father moved away, I joined the army, got married (to a protestant), attended a protestant church, got divorced, and remarried.
Now I find myself drawn to return to what I know is the true church. The lady in charge of RCIA at the local parish says I will have to go through the formal process of joining the Catholic Church, (because I don’t have proof of my baptism and can’t get it). And that it will take about two years. I have always thought of myself as Catholic and don’t think I should have to attend RCIA. Any and all opinions about this are most welcome.
 
Wow! That is complicated!

To be honest, my initial reaction is that it doesn’t really matter. RCIA will only add to your understanding, not detract from it, so it has to be a positive thing, right? I encourage many practising Catholics in my Parish to go to RCIA because they could do with a refresher course! It’s a good thing, so I say go with it and enjoy! 👍
 
FightingFat said:
Wow! That is complicated!
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A slight understatement, methinks:D

I would say that by virtue of your baptism into the Catholic Church, you are a Catholic. But, I think that in your case you should heed the advice of the RCIA director - as FightingFat said, there are many practicing Catholics who could do with some RCIA as a “refresher course”! Have you contacted the church in which you were baptised to see about getting a certificate - the church should have a record of all baptisms which took place there. I think that the presence or absence of this certificate could influence the form which RCIA will take for you, since you are not a Catechumen if you already have been baptised. If you can’t provide proof of valid baptism, then I can’t see any other way but to go through the RCIA programme. You also don’t mention if your First Holy Communion was preceded by the Sacrament of Reconciliation- this is what’s supposed to happen. From what you have told us, your initiation into the sacraments seems to have been very informal, so I can only advise you to obey your parish priest and the RCIA directors. As you have said yourself, you want to return to what you know is the True Church - it may be a long road, but knowing the truth of the Catholic Church, you should prepare yourself to travel it.

Best wishes. I will pray for you.
 
They way you describe your first Communion, I get the impression that your father merely took you up with him - in other words, that you did not receive the proper formation in a class setting. Am I correct? If so, was your Baptism handled the same way?

If these are the case, I can only imagine that it was done this way because your father was trying to sneak it past your mom, since you said she would have objected to your going to Mass.

Unfortunately, if this is true, it would appear that you may, indeed, need to go through RCIA, since you will not have proper documentation of your Sacraments. In any case, I agree with the others who have said that RCIA is a positive thing that will bolster your understanding of the faith.

Welcome home!

Peace,
Dante
 
Catechesis through RCIA or some other process is needed due to your spotty religious upbringing.

Regarding baptism, can your father sign an affidavit? Can you locate the priest who did it? The priest should have recorded it in the parish church.

If you can find absolutely NO proof of your baptism, and your father cannot provide an affidavit, then yes you will need to be **conditionally **baptized.
 
Yes, go through the RCIA again. You will be amazed. You will realise there is so much more you will be hearing for the first time. There is no rush, after all you are already in the church.

God Bless
 
Regarding proof of baptism, the testimony of someone who witnessed it may suffice. Is your father (or a godparent or any relative or friend who was present at your baptism) still living? They might be able to attest that they witnessed your baptism. If they remember what parish (or even what city) you were baptized in, it should be easy to track down your baptismal certificate, which by church law must be perpetually kept on file in the church of your baptism. (You don’t have to do all the legwork yourself. If you know the name and/or location of the church where you were baptized, the pastor or parish office of the church you are joining probably does this routinely.)

I would speak directly to the pastor. It is possible that returning to the sacraments may be as simple as going to confession and confessing all the serious sins committed since your last good confession (which I assume you made if you received First Communion). You may also need to take steps to ascertain the validity of your current marriage. You cannot receive any of the sacraments if you are living in an invalid marriage. This too should be discussed with your pastor (not the RCIA director), as he is the one who can evaluate your particular situation and tell you the steps you need to take.

But as the other posters suggested, I would not underestimate the value of doing some serious study of your Catholic faith (through RCIA or another means), as there are doubtless deficiencies in your religious upbringing. Discuss this with your pastor.
 
jspencer said:
Am I Catholic?
I ask this because of an encounter I had recently at a local Parish. The short version of my story/question is as follows. I was born in the UK to a Church of England mother and a Roman Catholic father. My father had me baptized by a priest when I was a baby, with out my mother (or anyone else) knowing.
Then over the years growing up, both in the UK and here in the USA, he would take me to Mass whenever my mother wasn’t around to object. When I was old enough (according to him) he took me up to receive my first communion. Later, after my parents divorced, my father moved away, I joined the army, got married (to a protestant), attended a protestant church, got divorced, and remarried.
Now I find myself drawn to return to what I know is the true church. The lady in charge of RCIA at the local parish says I will have to go through the formal process of joining the Catholic Church, (because I don’t have proof of my baptism and can’t get it). And that it will take about two years. I have always thought of myself as Catholic and don’t think I should have to attend RCIA. Any and all opinions about this are most welcome.
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Your father? Do you know the town or parish where you might have been Baptized? How did you come to know that your father had you Baptized? Who told you and how did they know? Can they tell you where?
 
PhilotheaZ said:
Regarding proof of baptism, the testimony of someone who witnessed it may suffice. Is your father (or a godparent or any relative or friend who was present at your baptism) still living? They might be able to attest that they witnessed your baptism. If they remember what parish (or even what city) you were baptized in, it should be easy to track down your baptismal certificate, which by church law must be perpetually kept on file in the church of your baptism. (You don’t have to do all the legwork yourself. If you know the name and/or location of the church where you were baptized, the pastor or parish office of the church you are joining probably does this routinely.)

I would speak directly to the pastor. It is possible that returning to the sacraments may be as simple as going to confession and confessing all the serious sins committed since your last good confession (which I assume you made if you received First Communion). You may also need to take steps to ascertain the validity of your current marriage. You cannot receive any of the sacraments if you are living in an invalid marriage. This too should be discussed with your pastor (not the RCIA director), as he is the one who can evaluate your particular situation and tell you the steps you need to take.

But as the other posters suggested, I would not underestimate the value of doing some serious study of your Catholic faith (through RCIA or another means), as there are doubtless deficiencies in your religious upbringing. Discuss this with your pastor.
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I agree with Philo here. Speak to the priest. Your first marriage will have to be addressed as to it’s validity, though if you are a baptized Catholic married outiside the Church, it may only be a matter of form. Either way, you will still need a decree of nullity to receive the Eucharist.

I hope you don’t find this too overwhelming. If God is drawing you back to the Church, it’s all worth the effort!

Praying for you!
Teri
 
I’m a cradle Catholic who received all the Sacraments of Initiation growing up, so I hardly “need” RCIA. But I spent over a decade away from the Church as a lapsed Catholic. A couple of years ago I came to my senses thanks to the grace of God and decided to became a practicing Catholic once more. This is my second straight year of attending the RCIA that I don’t need, and I’m thoroughly enjoying it.

I would encourage you to attend regardless of whether or not you think you “need” it. Learning about the faith in a semi-structured group environment won’t hurt a bit. If nothing else, hearing about the faith journey of others who are all coming from a different perspective and have a different story to tell will teach you a lot. I learn something every time we meet.
 
jspencer said:
Am I Catholic?
I ask this because of an encounter I had recently at a local Parish. The short version of my story/question is as follows. I was born in the UK to a Church of England mother and a Roman Catholic father. My father had me baptized by a priest when I was a baby, with out my mother (or anyone else) knowing.
Then over the years growing up, both in the UK and here in the USA, he would take me to Mass whenever my mother wasn’t around to object. When I was old enough (according to him) he took me up to receive my first communion. Later, after my parents divorced, my father moved away, I joined the army, got married (to a protestant), attended a protestant church, got divorced, and remarried.
Now I find myself drawn to return to what I know is the true church. The lady in charge of RCIA at the local parish says I will have to go through the formal process of joining the Catholic Church, (because I don’t have proof of my baptism and can’t get it). And that it will take about two years. I have always thought of myself as Catholic and don’t think I should have to attend RCIA. Any and all opinions about this are most welcome.
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In this situation, you’re an uncatechised Catholic. You are a member of the Church by virtue of your baptism, your father’s membership in the Church, and the fact that your father intended (and apparently did his best under the circumstances) to raise you Catholic.

The Catholic priest who baptised you should have recorded that in the parish baptismal record. I say should have. Let’s hope he did. Have you checked with that parish? That’s the first step. You did say that you “can’t get it” but maybe if you post some more information, we might be able to steer you in a direction to help you get it. It’s happened on these forums before. And that’s what Br Rich is getting-at.

Please keep in mind that the “lady in charge of RCIA” doesn’t make these decisions.
 
Sounds like you need RCIA, the only sacrament of initiation you validly received was baptism. From the sounds of it your reception of communion was invalid, since your father just decided when you were “old enough” rather than having you enrolled properly and you receiving it properly. This isn’t your sin though. At any rate, the only real issue I see is you say your divorouced, you’ll have to work that out with your local church. For sure go through RCIA, you’ll be glad you did. God bless you on your journey home!
 
crazzeto said:
Sounds like you need RCIA, the only sacrament of initiation you validly received was baptism. From the sounds of it your reception of communion was invalid, since your father just decided when you were “old enough” rather than having you enrolled properly and you receiving it properly. This isn’t your sin though. At any rate, the only real issue I see is you say your divorouced, you’ll have to work that out with your local church. For sure go through RCIA, you’ll be glad you did. God bless you on your journey home!
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It may have been an improper way to go about it, but I don’t think this invalidates the Sacrament.
 
PhilotheaZ said:
It may have been an improper way to go about it, but I don’t think this invalidates the Sacrament.
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Not the sacrament, however:

drbo.org/cgi-bin/d?b=drb&bk=53&ch=11&l=27&f=s#x
27 Therefore whosoever shall eat this bread, or drink the chalice of the Lord unworthily, shall be guilty of the body and of the blood of the Lord.
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With out being properly formed, how is the OP to know whether or not they’re in a proper state to be receiving the body and blood of our Lord? Again, it’s not his fault but this is a very highly problematic senario which needs to be corrected. He needs RCIA, and to be properly received into the church.
 
Since the OP is already a Catholic (assuming all the facts are acurate here), he does not need RCIA. He doesn’t need to be received into the Church since he’s already Catholic by virtue of baptism by a Catholic priest.
 
FrDavid96 said:
Since the OP is already a Catholic (assuming all the facts are acurate here), he does not need RCIA. He doesn’t need to be received into the Church since he’s already Catholic by virtue of baptism by a Catholic priest.
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perhaps I missed something, but from what I saw the OP was only baptised Catholic. From there his formation stopped for all intents and purposes. He missed first communion (your father saying your old enough now doesn’t cout) and he missed confirmation. He’s Christian, but not fully accepted into the Church.
 
crazzeto said:
perhaps I missed something, but from what I saw the OP was only baptised Catholic. From there his formation stopped for all intents and purposes. He missed first communion (your father saying your old enough now doesn’t cout) and he missed confirmation. He’s Christian, but not fully accepted into the Church.
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His Catholic baptism (if that’s indeed what happened, it’s at least what appears to have happened) made him a Catholic. As I said earlier, he is a Catholic. He is an uncatechised Catholic.
 
were you by chance ever baptized in the Church of England since your mother was anglican? was she opposed to a baptism in the Catholic church? i would think that you would need to find who baptized you and where in the Catholic church. even as a child, you have to go through classes before first communion - you just don’t go up and receive.
you need to learn about the Church and the Eucharist.
i was baptized and confirmed in the episcopal church U.S.A. (american branch of CofE)
and i joined the Catholic church 18 months ago. i didn’t need to go through RCIA, but i did meet with the RCIA director for about 6 weeks and she gave me many topics to read and we would meet the following week and discuss them. this year, i have been sitting in on RCIA classes to brush up and it is a lot of fun. i tried to learn as much as i could about the Catholic church before deciding to join so i studied off and on for about 8 years.
i studied about the Church of England, learned about the protestant movement and what it means to be Catholic. my father was Catholic (but wasn’t practicing) and my mother was Lutheran (also not practicing). they both joined the episcopal church to raise my sister and i. (my parents seldom went to church) i wish we would have been baptized and confirmed in the Catholic church to begin with, but i am Catholic now. my father and his family had a Catholic spirit and that is what always attracted me to being Catholic.
so i don’t know if your parents didn’t communicate much about religion - why your father felt the need to sneak off and baptize you with a Catholic priest - or if they just didn’t agree on each other’s religion. hopefully, you can question your father and discover more information. going through RCIA is very beneficial and just because your father was Catholic and told you that he took you to be baptized without your mother’s knowledge seems a little “out there” to me, but it could be the truth. you need to learn what it means to be a Catholic and what it is all about. otherwise, i don’t think you can ever appreciate the true beauty of the Church or the Eucharist. that is just my opinion. also, if you have a valid baptism from the priest your father said he took you to or in another church, you need to be confirmed or received into the church. i would speak with a priest at one of your local parishes and talk with the RCIA director and they can talk about your background. possibly, you wouldn’t need to be able to go through the whole RCIA program, but they can try to meet with you privately as they did with me. good luck!
 
crazzeto said:
perhaps I missed something, but from what I saw the OP was only baptised Catholic. From there his formation stopped for all intents and purposes. He missed first communion (your father saying your old enough now doesn’t cout) and he missed confirmation. He’s Christian, but not fully accepted into the Church.
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RCIA is not a requirement for someone who has already received a Catholic baptism. Because he says that he has, the OP does not have an objective need for RCIA. He just needs to find out where he was baptised so that the baptismal record can be verified.

The one thing the OP definitely needs is proper catechesis. That can come from RCIA, but it can also come from other means. I highly recommend RCIA for lapsed Catholics coming back to the Church, or Catholics who never lapsed but had poor catechesis for whatever reason. That’s merely a personal preference, however. Making an appointment to talk it over with his local priest rather than just the RCIA director may be a good idea.
 
Thank You one and all for the multitude of responses. For the record, my father taught me about reconciliation and had me go to confession before receiving the Body and Blood of our Lord. As for RCIA I have decided to go ahead with that for all of the reasons posted here and to make sure there are no gaps in my Catholic education. Besides, one of the priests at my local parish said, “you never know, maybe your presence there will help someone else”. I am currently trying to determine which parish I was baptized in. My father was the one who told me about my baptism, before he passed away. When I was younger all of this didn’t matter, it was only after I was dumb enough to fall away from the Church and make some poor decisions. I am just beginning the process of seeking a decree of nullity for my first marriage. I do not take part in the sacraments right now, and will not do so until all of this is straightened out. My current wife wants to do everything necessary to be able to have our marriage blessed (convalidated) in the local parish.
Any more comments/opinions/advice are/is welcomed.
 
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