Am I causing scandal?

[PenitentGrace]

I recently had a really awful moment at a distant cousin’s Catholic wedding. You see, I was married outside the Church in a sort of non denominational Christian Ceremony.

Since then, I have had this massive Catholic conversion and have come back to the Church. I was finally Confirmed this year and our marriage was also Convalidated.

The problem I am having is that some of my distant relatives who are Catholic- who came to my original non Catholic wedding- probably do not know that my marriage was Convalidated. When it was time to receive Communion- I went up to receive and it occurred to me that they may be appalled because they think I shouldn’t be receiving. This could all be in my head of course. They may not have even noticed or may have been as poorly catechized as I was (after all we are in the same family.) But I felt truly horrible afterwards.

Since I have struggled a lot with accepting God’s forgiveness for things that I have done in the past and been absolved for- Priests have instructed me to receive Communion regularly even though I don’t feel worthy- as long as I am truly not in a state of mortal sin. But I was wondering if I should receive in circumstances like this.

I guess my question is, should I abstain from the Eucharist to avoid causing scandal to my relatives at funerals and weddings even when I am not in a state of mortal sin? Or is it a worse sin to be focused on what they are thinking of me instead of focusing on the immensity of Jesus’ love and sacrifice for us? What do you think?

 

[Oneofthewomen]

I guess my question is, should I abstain from the Eucharist to avoid causing scandal to my relatives at funerals and weddings even when I am not in a state of mortal sin?

NO!!!

Or is it a worse sin to be focused on what they are thinking of me instead of focusing on the immensity of Jesus’ love and sacrifice for us? What do you think?

I don’t know if I would say it is a “worse sin”, it is just not your problem. You have taken care of the situation, you are in full communion, it is no one else’s business and you owe no one an explanation.
The person guilty of sin would be the one who is scandalized, not you.

 

[1ke]

No, you should not abstain from the Eucharist and no you are not causing scandal.

 

[HonoraDominum]

I would also recommend sharing your faith and second conversion with them. Simply saying something like, “I feel so blessed to be at this [wedding/funeral] today - did you know that I’m an active member in my parish now, and even got convalidated? Blessed be God for the grace to be a Catholic”. Or something less schmaltzy. I make sure to share my schedule even if I don’t feel really confortable sharing my faith at that particular moment (“Can’t do that on Thursday - I have Daily Mass. How about Friday?”). It’s those small things, like wearing a Miraculous Medal, or telling someone a joke your priest said, or sharing small things in your life that you’re doing as a Catholic that can be as loud a witness as preaching and more formal evangelizing.

 

[cradlecatholic5]

I guess my question is, should I abstain from the Eucharist to avoid causing scandal to my relatives at funerals and weddings even when I am not in a state of mortal sin? Or is it a worse sin to be focused on what they are thinking of me instead of focusing on the immensity of Jesus’ love and sacrifice for us? What do you think?

NO! and it’s really no one’s business.

 

[PenitentGrace]

Thank you all for the responses. You have definitely helped to alleviate my fears. I will try to worry less about it.

I would also recommend sharing your faith and second conversion with them. Simply saying something like, “I feel so blessed to be at this [wedding/funeral] today - did you know that I’m an active member in my parish now, and even got convalidated? Blessed be God for the grace to be a Catholic”. Or something less schmaltzy. I make sure to share my schedule even if I don’t feel really confortable sharing my faith at that particular moment (“Can’t do that on Thursday - I have Daily Mass. How about Friday?”). It’s those small things, like wearing a Miraculous Medal, or telling someone a joke your priest said, or sharing small things in your life that you’re doing as a Catholic that can be as loud a witness as preaching and more formal evangelizing.

That is a good idea- I would love to share this with them. The problem was that most of the people were distant relatives that had been at my non-catholic wedding and there really was no time to mention it before receiving Communion- and there really wasn’t an opportunity during the reception because so much was going on. But that is good advice. Thank you!