Am I culpable in my contraceptive marriage?

[KandA00]

I am confused about the Church’s teaching on contraception.

My wife is seriously considering having a relatively new, non-surgical method of having her tubes closed off, which would in effect close us off to God’s plan for our marriage.

I have seen Fr. Vincent’s reply to this issue, stating that it is ok for the spouse who opposes contraception to have relations with the spouse who contracepts - so long as it is made clear that they are opposed to using any form of contraception. However, my spiritual director is telling me that it is even wrong for the spouse who does not wish to practice contraception to have relations with their spouse because the act is still opposed to the ultimate end of being open to life.

Where can I find the Church’s official teaching on what a spouse in my situation should do? Does the church have any official statements on whether I should give in for the sake of the keeping ourmarriage together, or practice abstinence, (perhaps permanently) should she never come to repent in the future? If the latter, and I do have relations, am I commiting a mortal sin?

Thank you for your help…

God Bless!!

 

[Fr.Vincent_Serpa]

Hi,

Here is the official teaching, direct from the Vatican website:

vatican.va/roman_curia/pontifical_councils/family/documents/rc_pc_family_doc_12021997_vademecum_en.html

Quote:
13. Special difficulties are presented by cases of cooperation in the sin of a spouse who voluntarily renders the unitive act infecund. In the first place, it is necessary to distinguish cooperation in the proper sense, from violence or unjust imposition on the part of one of the spouses, which the other spouse in fact cannot resist.46, 561).] This cooperation can be licit when the three following conditions are jointly met:

1. when the action of the cooperating spouse is not already illicit in itself;47
2. when proportionally grave reasons exist for cooperating in the sin of the other spouse;
3. when one is seeking to help the other spouse to desist from such conduct (patiently, with prayer, charity and dialogue; although not necessarily in that moment, nor on every single occasion).

The “proportionally grave reason for cooperating in the sin of the other spouse” is usually understood in terms of keeping the marriage from falling apart. I hope this is helpful.

Fr. Vincent Serpa, O.P.