Am i damned or will i be forgiven?

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spacecat98uk

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:confused: I live with my boyfriend we have been together for 7 years, we have three children aged 11, 5 and 3 we are not married and have sex almost every night. I myself had an abortion at 18 which i have recently had a breakdown over and now i have nightmares and severe guilt and cannot follow my religion as it does not agree with anything i live by. I cannot deny my family as that would hurt more than the punishment i recieve now by whichever god is plaguing my thoughts and body . If you can answer me any of this help me please. Also i depend on oral contraception and my boyfriend is C of E.
 
I would get myself to confession, And definately either marry or kick out the boyfriend.
 
Wow - a lot of stuff here.

I am no professional expert, and a Priest could help you a lot, but of those issues I would recommend tackling

“cannot follow my religion as it does not agree with anything i live by”…

first. If you maybe sat down and just committed to reading the Bible cover to cover, even over a year, then ask yourself what makes you think your agreement is what matters. If you are that fundamentally opposed to the Church and even Christianity, you need to (a) believe in the Bible (b) see what its message is (c) believe in Jesus Christ so that (d) you truly believe there is a God, He’s worth worshipping and living for the chance to live with one day, and failure to live by His rules (not yours) says you are in deep deep eternal trouble - FOREVER. The Bible is very clear on that, it’s hard for me to imagine someone telling Jesus “I don’t care, take your best shot” - and that’s what you are doing. Ducking won’t help 🙂

Good luck, we’ll pray for you…
 
well…what is it you do live by?

we’re praying for you.
 
Bless your heart… You really are hurting aren’t ya?

Listen…in spite of everything, God still loves you and so does the Church. That’s why they call confession “reconcilliation” now, okay?

You need to KNOW that you are forgiven and the place for that is at Confession with a priest. It is available to anyone who is Christian…not just Catholics. They are not shocked by much of anything and the seal of confession means that no one but you, Jesus, and that priest will ever know. You’ll be whispering into the ear of Christ…

You are not damned…you are in mortal sin, so please don’t get hit by a bus or anything…okay? 🙂 Do get to confession ASAP and in the words that Pope John Paul II used to quote from Jesus Himself , “Be not afraid”.

Please feel free to E-mail me from this site if you need anything at all. Believe me…I’ve been in mortal sin myself and “it ain’t nothin’ nice” as the sayin’ goes.

I promise to include you in all my prayers. You’re gonna be alright…just get to confession. Please…
Pax vobiscum,
 
what you just described is the life of someone who is bound for damnation.

not because of living with your boyfriend or using contraception - all of that can be forgiven (once you’ve stopped, of course - part of forgiveness is repentance, and part of repentance is a firm resolution not to sin anymore).

the thing that you need to fix, if you’re concerned about fixing anything, is your attitude toward the faith. and you’re already doing it - coming to this board and asking this question is moving toward God - it’s seeking help from the situation in which you’ve found yourself.

you say that you can’t follow your religion because it doesn’t match the way you live. which do you think should change?

you have my prayers, my friend. it’s not an easy journey ahead of you. but we are here to help you. don’t give up or in to despair - He will guide you home - trust Him.
 
Dear spacecat,

Go and see a priest … as for your boyfriend, the C of E also disagrees with the way your are living your life.

It’s been 7 years and 3 kids, tell him to either “Pee or get off the pot.” Marry you or hit the bricks.

What would happen if you said, “NO more sex until we are married?”
 
I have read the bible not cover to cover and do truly believe in Christ and God. A god who loves us all as his children. I live by my children and those that love me.
 
that’s certainly a start - you’re already sensing Him moving in your life - just keep following Him - He can be trusted.
 
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spacecat98uk:
I have read the bible not cover to cover and do truly believe in Christ and God. A god who loves us all as his children. I live by my children and those that love me.
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First off welcome. this is a great place to learn. Like everyone said, get to confession. Make sure your bf loves you enough to commit his life to you through the sacrament of marriage. Then you won’t be sinning “almost every night.” Then look into NFP. It’s really good.🙂
 
Please see the advice on forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=47724 as it also applies to you. You must resolve to make a change in your life! You will be forgiven! You just need to ask and make a firm commitment to sin no more. Feel free to PM me if you would like to talk. My husband and I overcame birth control and premarital sex; we are now in full communion with the Church, profess to believe everything she teaches and have a wonderful, prayful marriage.
 
Hi Spacecat…Everyone has already given you great advice…We are all so glad you came here…Keep on posting!

Real love involves real committment…and in your case that mean marriage…Surely you do not want you children to grow up thinking that “living together” is the way to go…They will take their cue from you and their father.
**It is so clear that you are not at peace with your present life…You have already started to change it by coming here…Keep going. **
**I know you are hurting…The pain of your abortion, may never actually go away, but you can know you are forgiven by going to reconciliation…Be reconciled to God and His Church…God loves you so much. He does not want you to suffer any more. **
The Church loves you, too, and has provided a way for you to start your life all over…
**Please consider this…if your bf really loves you, and is committed to you and your children, he will WANT to enter into the sacrament of marriage. **
**One of the positive aspects of marriage, besides the obvious, is that you and the children will have some legal protection is anything should happen to your husband. Think about this…If he should die today, you and the children would have no claim to anything…no SS, no nothing. **
The Lord bless you and keep you always.
 
I think we are gonna get married nothing flash. And i will be confessing to the next priest i meet.

Thankyou.:tiphat:
 
Spacecat,

He wil always forgive, you just must ask him for it and strive to change. Sounds like you are doing the right thing. Do not despair. Do not think that your sin cannot be forgiven. It can.

God Bless
 
SpaceCat: Are you Catholic? If you are you should know a priest already. If you aren’t find a Catholic Church, I hear there are priests there 🙂

Please marry your boyfriend. If you are going to get married here are options
  1. Don’t kick him out, but live as brother and sister until you are married. Meaning no sex, separate rooms etc ets.
  2. Have him stay with his parents until the wedding day and no more sex
If you aren’t getting married you really should ask him to move out and move on.

I lived with my husband before we were married. I wasn’t Catholic, he was. I had many issues and needed somewhere to live. But we are married now and now I’m Catholic.

Just curious…What is C of E
 
I think we are gonna get married nothing flash. And i will be confessing to the next priest i meet.
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yay! that’s awesome. i’m very excited for you. and you’re in my prayers.

don’t forget to come back and tell us how it goes - and to ask any other questions you want! i learn so much by coming here.

may God richly bless you, my friend.
 
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spacecat98uk:
I think we are gonna get married nothing flash. And i will be confessing to the next priest i meet.

Thankyou.:tiphat:
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Don’t just sit there little sister…CALL ONE! 😃
 
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spacecat98uk:
I think we are gonna get married nothing flash. And i will be confessing to the next priest i meet.

Thankyou.:tiphat:
Click to expand...
:blessyou: 👍 :yup: :clapping: 🙂
 
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