Am I doing this right?

[AngelaBarbara]

Hi All,

My husband and I have been attending Mass regularly, and I am in the process of joining the Church. We do not (of course) receive Communion. This creates a bit of an awkward situation for us regarding seating arrangements.

If we sit in the end of the pew closest to the aisle, then everyone has to crawl out over us on the way out. If we sit at the other end of the pew, then our prayer during Communion is interrupted by the folks in our pew returning after receiving Communion. We kneel in prayer while everyone else goes up to receive.

Are we right to do this, or should we sit? Our parish does not have a formal RCIA process, so we are not really being taught what to do in church, and neither one of us was raised Catholic, so we sometimes feel lost.

This may seem like a stupid issue, but I really want to do the proper thing at Mass.

Thanks for your help.

 

[EmBee]

Hi Angela,

I don’t think there’s a right/wrong way to do this (if there is, someone please correct me!), but before my conversion last year, this is what I did:

I sat at the end of the row closest to the aisle. When it was time to rise for Communion, I would stand and walk out of the row, taking a step backwards (away from the altar) and nod to whomever had been sitting next to me to indicate that they should follow the row in front of us and pass me by. Once our row was cleared, I would kneel back down in prayer. That way, my prayer wasn’t interrupted and no one had to try to maneuver between my legs and the pew in front of me. Many people at my parish remain seated and those receiving Communion simply maneuver past them.

Now that I do approach the altar to receive the Blessed Sacrament (thanks be to God!), I never think twice about those who do not. It does not bother me to walk around past or over people - I’m just happy that we’re all at Mass together

–

 

[japhy]

We do not (of course) receive Communion. This creates a bit of an awkward situation for us regarding seating arrangements. If we sit in the end of the pew closest to the aisle, then everyone has to crawl out over us on the way out. If we sit at the other end of the pew, then our prayer during Communion is interrupted by the folks in our pew returning after receiving Communion. We kneel in prayer while everyone else goes up to receive.

If you are sitting nearest the aisle, it is polite to stand up and step aside so that the rest of the people can get past you without issue.

As for your “prayer during Communion [being] interrupted”, I would say you should try to accept such a minor inconvenience, and continue praying even while not in the kneeling position.

 

[Cathhsmom]

I agree witht he previous post. Sit on the end near the aisle and just get up and take a step back to let others out. Another option would be to go up and have your arms crossed over your chest to recieve a blessing. This was told to me when my dh and I went through marriage prep before I became Catholic. They told me that I could remain in the pew or come up with my arms crossed which indicated that I was not going to recieve but would like a blessing, and the priest would say a quick blessing over me.

 

[nicolep]

I agree witht he previous post. Sit on the end near the aisle and just get up and take a step back to let others out. Another option would be to go up and have your arms crossed over your chest to recieve a blessing. This was told to me when my dh and I went through marriage prep before I became Catholic. They told me that I could remain in the pew or come up with my arms crossed which indicated that I was not going to recieve but would like a blessing, and the priest would say a quick blessing over me.

This is a common occurrence, but should not be done. Holy Communion is not the time to receive blessings. Hopefully, the Magisterium will provide more instruction about this and help stop the issue.

Here is a link to a thread started by Japhy that should be helpful forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=292341&highlight=Blessing+communion

 

[Cathhsmom]

This is a common occurrence, but should not be done. Holy Communion is not the time to receive blessings. Hopefully, the Magisterium will provide more instruction about this and help stop the issue.

Here is a link to a thread started by Japhy that should be helpful forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=292341&highlight=Blessing+communion

Thanks for the correction. I did not mean to pass along something that was wrong. I thought it was right because a priest had told it to me. We have had our kids do this when they got close to 1st communion. It can be confusing to the EMEs about whether the kids are recieving or not when they get to be a certain size.

 

[CB_Catholic]

Thanks for the correction. I did not mean to pass along something that was wrong. I thought it was right because a priest had told it to me. We have had our kids do this when they got close to 1st communion. It can be confusing to the EMEs about whether the kids are recieving or not when they get to be a certain size.

This is a custom in some parishes, but since you move around a lot be aware of the fact that probably most parishes don’t have this custom. Just signal to the person giving Communion that the child is not to receive, and also teach the child that they are not to receive Communion yet.

 

[nicolep]

Thanks for the correction. I did not mean to pass along something that was wrong. I thought it was right because a priest had told it to me. We have had our kids do this when they got close to 1st communion. It can be confusing to the EMEs about whether the kids are recieving or not when they get to be a certain size.

I understand. There’s no reason to apologize. I was also told during RCIA to do this. I actally got pressured to do it even though it didn’t “feel” right to me.

As another poster said, it is a custom is some parishes, but not in others.

 

[sunny624]

Originally Posted by nicolep
This is a common occurrence, but should not be done. Holy Communion is not the time to receive blessings. Hopefully, the Magisterium will provide more instruction about this and help stop the issue.

Here is a link to a thread started by Japhy that should be helpful forums.catholic-questions.org/showthrea…sing+communion

I am a new Eucharistic Minister in my parish. This past Sunday I had a young adult (about a senior in high school who I know attends mass regularly and usually receives the Sacrament every Sunday - he even attends the local Catholic high school), in my line with his arms across his chest. Now I knew obviously not to offer him the Host in his hand but I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do for him. I thought maybe I should offer the Host on his tongue but he then shook his head and walked on. I guess he was expecting me to bless him although I’ve never seen any other EM do that. Although in our parish we are told that we can say “God Bless You” or something similar to any small child that’s in our line with their parent. What should I have done??

 

[NHInsider]

Since any of us can ask God to bless another, I think you can offer a blessing in this situation without worrying about it. (I’m not offering an opinion on whether or not the invitation to come forward is licit or not, because that doesn’t really matter when you’re standing there with a person in front of you) Probably this young person had eaten before Mass or felt a need to go to Confession before receiving or had been to a previous Mass and already received or . . . for whatever reason wasn’t receiving. You have no way of knowing, and don’t need to.

 

[AngelaBarbara]

I agree witht he previous post. Sit on the end near the aisle and just get up and take a step back to let others out. Another option would be to go up and have your arms crossed over your chest to recieve a blessing. This was told to me when my dh and I went through marriage prep before I became Catholic. They told me that I could remain in the pew or come up with my arms crossed which indicated that I was not going to recieve but would like a blessing, and the priest would say a quick blessing over me.

Funny you should say that, CathMom…I asked my priest about “receiving a blessing” and he said, “We don’t do that here…I think that’s something that started in California…”

Guess our pastor is a bit traditional…I kinda like it!

 

[Newbie2]

“Eucharistic Minister” “blessings” instead of communion.

Wait for it…

May I suggest to the OP to sit near the front and near the end of the aisle. That way your prayer time is maximized.

 

[Danima]

You are right in kneeling during the communion portion of the mass, if you want to be as correct as possible. As for being interrupted in your prayer, it is a sacrifice you must offer up. In fact, if it really bothers you that much, you can offer it up as an addition to your prayer.

As for going up for a blessing rather than Holy Communion, I would only recommend it 1) at parishes where it is customary to do so, and 2) in the line where the priest (or deacon, or bishop) is ministering Holy Communion, since their hands have a special blessing to minister blessings.

 

[Cathhsmom]

Funny you should say that, CathMom…I asked my priest about “receiving a blessing” and he said, “We don’t do that here…I think that’s something that started in California…”

Guess our pastor is a bit traditional…I kinda like it!

That is funny because I heard this from a priest in California!

 

[benedictgal]

I am a new Eucharistic Minister in my parish. This past Sunday I had a young adult (about a senior in high school who I know attends mass regularly and usually receives the Sacrament every Sunday - he even attends the local Catholic high school), in my line with his arms across his chest. Now I knew obviously not to offer him the Host in his hand but I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do for him. I thought maybe I should offer the Host on his tongue but he then shook his head and walked on. I guess he was expecting me to bless him although I’ve never seen any other EM do that. Although in our parish we are told that we can say “God Bless You” or something similar to any small child that’s in our line with their parent. What should I have done??

Actually, with all due respect, the term Eucharistic Minister is reserved only for the priest and bishop since they are the sole ones who can confect (cause to happen) the Holy Eucharist. The deacon, by virture of his ordination, is one of the Ordinary Ministers of Holy Communion (like the bishop and the priest) only he does not consecrate. We are Extraordniary Ministers of Holy Communion because our function is out of the ordinary in assisting the celebrant and deacon with the distrubution of Holy Communion.

Now, as to what you should have done (and should do in the future), this is what the document from the Congregation for Divine Worship and the Discipline of the Sacraments tells us to do:

1. The liturgical blessing of the Holy Mass is properly given to each and to all at the conclusion of the Mass, just a few moments subsequent to the distribution of Holy Communion.

1. Lay people, within the context of Holy Mass, are unable to confer blessings. These blessings, rather, are the competence of the priest (cf. Ecclesia de Mysterio, Notitiae 34 (15 Aug. 1997), art. 6, § 2; Canon 1169, § 2; and Roman Ritual De Benedictionibus (1985), n. 18).

1. Furthermore, the laying on of a hand or hands — which has its own sacramental significance, inappropriate here — by those distributing Holy Communion, in substitution for its reception, is to be explicitly discouraged.

1. The Apostolic Exhortation Familiaris Consortio n. 84, “forbids any pastor, for whatever reason to pretext even of a pastoral nature, to perform ceremonies of any kind for divorced people who remarry”. To be feared is that any form of blessing in substitution for communion would give the impression that the divorced and remarried have been returned, in some sense, to the status of Catholics in good standing.

1. In a similar way, for others who are not to be admitted to Holy Communion in accord with the norm of law, the Church’s discipline has already made clear that they should not approach Holy Communion nor receive a blessing. This would include non-Catholics and those envisaged in can. 915 (i.e., those under the penalty of excommunication or interdict, and others who obstinately persist in manifest grave sin).

Now, regarding this particular post:

You are right in kneeling during the communion portion of the mass, if you want to be as correct as possible. As for being interrupted in your prayer, it is a sacrifice you must offer up. In fact, if it really bothers you that much, you can offer it up as an addition to your prayer.

As for going up for a blessing rather than Holy Communion, I would only recommend it 1) at parishes where it is customary to do so, and 2) in the line where the priest (or deacon, or bishop) is ministering Holy Communion, since their hands have a special blessing to minister blessings.

This is not our call to make, nor is it the celebrant’s. The CDWDS has indicated that this should not be done. We cannot give what we are not allowed to impart. Furthermore, as the document notes, everyone will be receiving the same blessing at the end of the Mass. The OP is doing the right thing by staying in the pew and praying. Remember, the line is to receive Holy Communion, not a blessing.

 

[AngelaBarbara]

Benedictgal,

You are 100% on target with the below. In fact, I just not two hours ago returned from a class being offered at our parish, the Seven Secrets of Successful Catholics, and we discussed this very issue regarding the Eucharist. I saw with my own eyes a paper Father handed out citing exactly what you have quoted below.

Thanks to all who so generously responded to my question. I feel blessed to have such nice “online friends” who can help to guide me in my faith journey to being Catholic. :hug1:

Now, as to what you should have done (and should do in the future), this is what the document from the Congregation for Divine Worship and the Discipline of the Sacraments tells us to do:
Quote:

1. The liturgical blessing of the Holy Mass is properly given to each and to all at the conclusion of the Mass, just a few moments subsequent to the distribution of Holy Communion.
2. Lay people, within the context of Holy Mass, are unable to confer blessings. These blessings, rather, are the competence of the priest (cf. Ecclesia de Mysterio, Notitiae 34 (15 Aug. 1997), art. 6, § 2; Canon 1169, § 2; and Roman Ritual De Benedictionibus (1985), n. 18).
3. Furthermore, the laying on of a hand or hands — which has its own sacramental significance, inappropriate here — by those distributing Holy Communion, in substitution for its reception, is to be explicitly discouraged.
4. The Apostolic Exhortation Familiaris Consortio n. 84, “forbids any pastor, for whatever reason to pretext even of a pastoral nature, to perform ceremonies of any kind for divorced people who remarry”. To be feared is that any form of blessing in substitution for communion would give the impression that the divorced and remarried have been returned, in some sense, to the status of Catholics in good standing.
5. In a similar way, for others who are not to be admitted to Holy Communion in accord with the norm of law, the Church’s discipline has already made clear that they should not approach Holy Communion nor receive a blessing. This would include non-Catholics and those envisaged in can. 915 (i.e., those under the penalty of excommunication or interdict, and others who obstinately persist in manifest grave sin).

Now, regarding this particular post:

This is not our call to make, nor is it the celebrant’s. The CDWDS has indicated that this should not be done. We cannot give what we are not allowed to impart. Furthermore, as the document notes, everyone will be receiving the same blessing at the end of the Mass. The OP is doing the right thing by staying in the pew and praying. Remember, the line is to receive Holy Communion, not a blessing.

 

[japhy]

In fact, I just not two hours ago returned from a class being offered at our parish, the Seven Secrets of Successful Catholics, and we discussed this very issue regarding the Eucharist. I saw with my own eyes a paper Father handed out citing exactly what you have quoted below.

Oooh! I’d guess that priest is a subscriber to the Adoremus Bulletin (or at least knows of them). That’s great for your parish!

 

[benedictgal]

Oooh! I’d guess that priest is a subscriber to the Adoremus Bulletin (or at least knows of them). That’s great for your parish!

Actually, we have you to thank for all of this! :bowdown2:

 

[George_C]

Howdy. :tiphat:

I can’t receive the Eucharist until April. I generally get out of peoples’ way and go to the bathroom or look around in the lobby.

 

[shellgirl]

I am a new Eucharistic Minister in my parish. This past Sunday I had a young adult (about a senior in high school who I know attends mass regularly and usually receives the Sacrament every Sunday - he even attends the local Catholic high school), in my line with his arms across his chest. Now I knew obviously not to offer him the Host in his hand but I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do for him. I thought maybe I should offer the Host on his tongue but he then shook his head and walked on. I guess he was expecting me to bless him although I’ve never seen any other EM do that. Although in our parish we are told that we can say “God Bless You” or something similar to any small child that’s in our line with their parent. What should I have done??

I was received into the church at Easter last year. Whilst others were receiving Holy Communion my sponser always asked me to come up and receive a blessing from Father. We are a small parish and crossing of arms was not necessary. I however encountered a similar problem at a larger Parish event when there was more than one line and i somehow got into the line with a lay person and it was embarrassing (i switched lines) and wished I had stayed in my pew!!! I dont know what you should have done, maybe he felt unfit to recieve but i dont know why you would line up in that circumstance.