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Irishgal49
Guest
I am walking around anxious today. I am eager to meet with the priest this morning and be reconciled to the Catholic Church after having been gone for 15 years. My heart is very grateful but I’m scared. I am more than willing to confess my sins and start a new life back where I belong. I have my appointment today and it’s exciting.
I spend an hour a day in adoration of the blessed sacrament and I pray the rosary. I feel that if I don’t do this everyday I just don’t “feel right”. I was very optimistic but today I’m feeling overwhelmed. I have so much weakness in my life when it comes to sexual sins and I’m really wanting to change this area of my life. At the same time I am really blowing this up in my mind and I’m trying to stop myself. I don’t want to be the same person I was. I know I’ll have occasions to sin but I don’t want to keep sliding into the sewer of sexual sin over and over. I want to find ways to cope with my desires and urges so that I don’t feel like a walking time bomb.
I even do this head trip where I sit and say, OK both fornication and masturbation are mortal sins so I might as well go and hook up with a guy then and get the “most sin for my money”…see how sick that is? I DO NOT want to think that way but I have that inclination in my mind and I WANT to overcome it.
I don’t want to keep confessing the same **** over and over and over. Obviously I will confess mortal sins right away but I don’t want it to become, “Forgive me Father for I have sinned. Three of the “usual” this week.” Am I doomed to be evil? What do you do when you have that “frisky” feeling? I really need to sort this out and it’s so embarrassing to talk to my priest but I’m going to have to because I need to get control of this panic and focus on what I need to be doing. I act like some passive victim that’s just being “run over” by my feelings but that is what I’m feeling.
I appreciate everyone’s prayers as I go through reconciliation and begin fresh on a new path.
Thanks
Irishgal49
I spend an hour a day in adoration of the blessed sacrament and I pray the rosary. I feel that if I don’t do this everyday I just don’t “feel right”. I was very optimistic but today I’m feeling overwhelmed. I have so much weakness in my life when it comes to sexual sins and I’m really wanting to change this area of my life. At the same time I am really blowing this up in my mind and I’m trying to stop myself. I don’t want to be the same person I was. I know I’ll have occasions to sin but I don’t want to keep sliding into the sewer of sexual sin over and over. I want to find ways to cope with my desires and urges so that I don’t feel like a walking time bomb.
I even do this head trip where I sit and say, OK both fornication and masturbation are mortal sins so I might as well go and hook up with a guy then and get the “most sin for my money”…see how sick that is? I DO NOT want to think that way but I have that inclination in my mind and I WANT to overcome it.
I don’t want to keep confessing the same **** over and over and over. Obviously I will confess mortal sins right away but I don’t want it to become, “Forgive me Father for I have sinned. Three of the “usual” this week.” Am I doomed to be evil? What do you do when you have that “frisky” feeling? I really need to sort this out and it’s so embarrassing to talk to my priest but I’m going to have to because I need to get control of this panic and focus on what I need to be doing. I act like some passive victim that’s just being “run over” by my feelings but that is what I’m feeling.
I appreciate everyone’s prayers as I go through reconciliation and begin fresh on a new path.
Thanks
Irishgal49