Am I going to Hell for not being ashamed of my feelings?

[0Scarlett_nidiyilii]

Okay, so you’re not actually joining this forum to try to understand Church teaching but to change it?

 

[RolandThompsonGunner]

I have never dated a girl

I still date women

OP, is English your first language?

Either that or this is entirely made up. You certainly don’t sound like someone about to start medical school. I’m getting troll vibes.

 

[0Scarlett_nidiyilii]

I’m getting troll vibes.

Or sockpuppet

 

[27lw]

I call troll.
“Mixed fiber” “dates women, doesn’t date women”.

 

[0Scarlett_nidiyilii]

And parents threatening hellfire and brimstone. Less than ten years ago

 

[Inbonum]

How would you know how God is? God doesn’t believe in conversion therapy. I will continue to date girls if I please - this wasn’t even the question. Please don’t give Catholicism any more of a bad name than it already has. We are a religion of love, not the kind where we shame people for practicing love. “I’m sorry, but your thoughts about God are simply not true” who are you to tell me about that? God said to love one another, not tell them it’s sinful to be themselves. Even if I married a woman, i know god is kind and not somebody I should be scared of. We already have a bad rep, don’t spread misinformation.

I thought you want honesty. But if you want what pleases just your wishes no matter what truth is then yeah, do what you want.
I hope that someday you will find out truth.
You wanted advices and answers, you got them truthfully.

For this dosen of your ignorance and wrong interpetations in your reply, can you give me some sources and proofs where I wrote misinformations??

The thing is that you interpret Catholic Church’s Teaching in way YOU want not in way it truly is.

 

[OddBird]

We already have a bad rep, don’t spread misinformation

@Inbonum isn’t spreading misinformation. These are the much-quoted paragraphs of the Catechism (i.e. official Church teaching) on homosexuality :

2357 Homosexuality refers to relations between men or between women who experience an exclusive or predominant sexual attraction toward persons of the same sex. It has taken a great variety of forms through the centuries and in different cultures. Its psychological genesis remains largely unexplained. Basing itself on Sacred Scripture, which presents homosexual acts as acts of grave depravity, tradition has always declared that “homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered.” They are contrary to the natural law. They close the sexual act to the gift of life. They do not proceed from a genuine affective and sexual complementarity. Under no circumstances can they be approved.

2358 The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. This inclination, which is objectively disordered, constitutes for most of them a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfill God’s will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord’s Cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition.

2359 Homosexual persons are called to chastity. By the virtues of self-mastery that teach them inner freedom, at times by the support of disinterested friendship, by prayer and sacramental grace, they can and should gradually and resolutely approach Christian perfection.

As you can see, as Inbonum said, being homosexual is not a sin. Acting out sexually on these feelings is.

I’m not sure what love is

I guess one way of thinking about it could be this : God is Love Itself. God knows what love is. In an ideal world, we shouldn’t try to define love from our feelings and attractions, but from what God shows us and teaches us about genuine love. That said, I’m not sure I know what love is either – except from what I see in the face of Christ, a renouncing, a laying down of one’s own life for the sake of others.

I think one of the main issues our contemporary Western societies have with this stance of the Church about homosexuality is that we have trouble imagining that life can be truly fulfilling without sex. But it can be, as people who lead a consecrated life, and also probably more married people than you would imagine, could testify.

 

[Annie]

Luckily for you I had bought my own car when I was 16 because I was responsible .

Do you know what an analogy is?

Because God is kind. He wants us to love one another.

Yes, but He does not want us to have sex outside of marriage; He has made that very clear. And that marriage is only possible between two people of the opposite sex.

If you do not want to believe this, that is up to you. However, serious Catholics have a different understanding of love and sex than you do, and will not agree with you.

Your parents love you and have sacrificed a great deal for you. They are concerned about you. The picture you presented in your first post differs from the one later on in that the impression I got from the first was that you were no longer experimenting in that way.

If a person sins and decides to sin no longer and goes to Confession, the sin is absolved. One’s feelings do not really come into it because it is the disposition of the will that counts.

Those who choose to sin knowingly, refuse to admit it is wrong, and plan to continue in the sin are putting their own desires above God.

Given the teachings of the Church, we can not offer you anything except the advice to “Go and sin no more.”

 

[1ke]

My Dad told me that if I don’t repent and show shame for my past then I won’t be a child of God and will end up in Hell. We don’t speak much as if this week. Am I going to Hell?

Shame and sorrow for your sins are two different things.

I encourage you to speak to your pastor in confession. Imperfect contrition is sorrow for our sins because they offend god. That’s where you start.

Your confession isn’t your parent’s business. But antagonizing them with “I’m not sorry” statements isn’t productive or mature.

I was 16, not 3 and it was with somebody I trusted and it went well all things considered.

Sixteen is not exactly the pinnacle of maturity. You were sixteen, and that is still a child. One growing into adulthood, but a child nonetheless, and one your parents were responsible for, physically and spiritually.

Am I going to Hell?

Well, that depends on you and your relationship with God. Seek spiritual guidance from your pastor.

 

[JerryZ]

Unfortunately feelings won’t matter much when we face the ultimate judge. Some people have committed atrocities against humanity and didn’t feel ashamed for them.
Not making a direct comparison just making a point.
However and this is something that hopefully you will eventually learn by studying your faith. Sexuality is a gift it provides humans with the capacity to continue the species and also to bond with another human of the opposite sex for the purpose of creating the nest where love can flourish and perhaps raise wonderful progeny.
Sexual interaction outside of the bond of Matrimony is sinful. This is recorded in both the Old and the New Testaments of the Bible.
However now days the father of lies has sold to us that it is ok to fool around, that we are free to do as we please with our bodies. We have lost the perspective of the value of our human condition and of the gifts we carry with it.
Perhaps reading the “Theology of the body” from then Pope now Saint John Paul II will help you understand the principles behind these points.
As for going to hell, only GOD judges us and hopefully one will arrive that they free of mortal sin, that normally is the reason we do go to hell. However it is a good practice to go to confession and make sure we have confessed any acts that we are taught are sinful whether we “feel ok with them” or not and keep our friendship with HIM.
Peace!

 

[JerryZ]

Also something worth mentioning is about confession.
One goes to confession to be forgiven of our sins and hopefully the reason is we are repentant of them.
But the Catechism teaches us that “perfect contrition” that is the best kind of repentance is not required for confession to be valid.
Imperfect contrition or Attrition, being afraid of the punishment of hell IS sufficient. Therefore not wanting to end in hell is enough for a good and valid confession. The former is best of course but in the meantime…
Hope this helps.
Peace!

 

[Tis_Bearself]

No one knows if another person is going to Hell or not. While we are alive we all have the hope of Heaven.

If you committed sins then you should repent of them and confess them. I can’t tell from your first post whether you’ve done that or not because your post sounds pretty smug about what you did, not like you’re sorry. But it’s hard to tell from posts.

Once you’ve confessed and been absolved, you are not expected to go around in a state of perpetual shame because you did a sin some years ago, but it’s not something to be bragging about either, or acting like it was perfectly okay because you were “16 not 3” or because your sex was with “somebody you trusted” (that doesn’t make it any less of a sin).

If you’re 23 years old then there’s no reason for you to be discussing your teenage sexual behavior with your parents at this point. I would suggest that instead of you making a big point about how you’re not ashamed, etc, you simply tell them that it’s your personal business and not talk about it any more with them.

And yes, I agree this sounds like a possible troll post. We seem to constantly get troll posts regarding sex and gays here. I responded to it anyway in hopes that if you are indeed posting in bad faith, the answer might help someone else who is reading.

 

[Bill_B_NY]

How would you know how God is? God doesn’t believe in conversion therapy.

I think the important thing is to start with yourself and your own knowledge and views. You wonder how others know who God is, and you can also wonder “How do I know who God is?” Usually, it is because somebody told you something. For example, you say that “God doesn’t believe in conversion therapy”. But I will guess that God didn’t personally tell you that. Instead, you read or heard that somewhere and believed it. So, your information about God is coming from somewhere and you decided to believe some things and not others.

I will continue to date girls if I please - this wasn’t even the question. Please don’t give Catholicism any more of a bad name than it already has. We are a religion of love, not the kind where we shame people for practicing love.

I think the key term here is “practicing love”. You will say “God is loving” and therefore when you have sex with someone outside of marriage, then you’re just doing what makes you happy and you feel God loves that. But how are you sure you are correct about that? You may have good feelings, you may have some pleasure. But are those the best guidelines for doing what is right?

“I’m sorry, but your thoughts about God are simply not true” who are you to tell me about that?

That’s the big concern. Our thoughts about God are either true or not. We have a Holy Church that came from God, created by Jesus Himself. The love of God is found in the Church - and God guides us to the best life we can live, through His Church. That is the path of happiness.

God said to love one another, not tell them it’s sinful to be themselves. Even if I married a woman, i know god is kind and not somebody I should be scared of.

God has a plan and a hope for your life. He wants the very best for you. To achieve that very best goal, we have to make sacrifices, do what is difficult and stretch ourselves. Then we can really achieve the greatness that God knows we can do - He gives us His help and strength to do amazing things. But we can also frustrate His plan by doing our own thing.
God created us. We belong to Him. He let us “borrow” life, in a sense. We have it only for a short time on earth. He created the earth. He created the person, that is you; Sandy Laura. There is only one of you - created by God. He gave you that person. It seems like we own the person, own our life, and can do what we want. But we really need to be grateful to God for having this life. That gratitude is respect for God - our Creator. Respect for His plan. That Respect is what we call “Fear of the Lord”. We do not want to hurt God.

We already have a bad rep, don’t spread misinformation.

It’s good advice. We should avoid spreading errors. We should seek the Truth about God and what He wants – and then follow the Truth no matter how difficult it may be. That is the path of greatness, happiness and true love. That is where the best, unending feelings of joy will be found.

 

[harshcshah]

From my understanding, recognition that you committed a grave sin, repentance and the sacrament of confession are necessary for the forgiveness of sins. Of course, in certain extraordinary circumstances the sacrament may not be necessary for forgiveness (i.e. if you are on your way to confession and drop dead or if you are a righteous pagan unaware of Our Lord). If you are talking about a subjective “feeling” of shame then, no. You are not guilty for not experiencing that feeling. However, if you truly are impenitent and have not repented then you are imperiling your soul.

 

[PennyinCanada]

God’s plans for humanity is that a man and woman come before God and family and make the commitment of marriage before they have sex with each other. This protects women, protects children, and men as well, and is the foundation of building communities and nations.

Many have made other decisions and we see the brokenness it brings, children with only one parent, grandparents continuing to support their adult child and their grandchildren, broken families, and the demand for abortion in the millions. The spike in sexual diseases, and the kind of diseases a person can catch. Single parents, abandoned by their partners, living below the poverty line. It’s been a slow motion train wreck, and it’s not good for individuals, or communities, or nations.

God places before us the choice to do it God’s way or not. You’ve chosen to go your own path. So it is. That’s the reality of it. You’re an adult, you get to pick. The Church only looks bad to those who have turned their back to God. To those who wake up every day, take God’s hand, and go forward, it’s life giving. They have the light of Christ in this life and heaven to look forward to in the next. If I could give that desire for Christ and His grace to walk with him closely, I would. It’s yours to reach for and ask for. I hope for you it’s sooner than later.

 

[JimR-OCDS]

Tell your dad that the actual meaning of the word “repent,” is to have a change of heart, not to feel shame and guilt.

We all make poor decisions when we’re young and although we regret making them, we don’t carry shame for the rest of our lives. This is what a mentally sick person does.

You’re right to move on and let God do the forgiving.

 

[TheLittleLady]

This shows how it is a bad idea to talk to many people about your past sins. The answer is “my sins are between me and my confessor”. Period.

Confessing the sin if it is mortal is required. We are not required to “show shame”. God knows our sins and calls us by name, Satan knows our name and calls us by our sins.

 

[Neil_Anthony]

This could be an opportunity to read about the theology behind these rules. It doesnt do much good to tell someone to be ashamed. If you honestly dont see why these rules are in place then why would you feel the need to repent? You could learn about the meaning and purpose of sexuality and God’s plan for your life and reflect on that.