Am I guilty of willful ignorance?

[Miguelita]

I often suffer from obsessions, fears and anxieties, which often take a religious turn.

I usually have at least one obsessive, gripping fear of some sin, real or imagined, that consumes me. It sends me into anxiety attacks and panics and depression until I’ve sorted out every single angle I can.

Sometimes I’ve asked the same “is this a sin?” question to a half dozen people, , feeling like I never worded it right before, or like I needed more opinions. Sometimes, I’ve emailed one of our diocese priests…however, there have been a couple times where I was either over my fear by the time I got a reply back, or I was too panicked to read what the answer was, sure it was condemning, and I would delete some replies without reading.

In the case of panic, I usually would finally ask the question one more time from someone spiritual that I highly trust, and try to settle my mind that I had a legitimate answer. I also scour the catechism and Bible.

However, even if I later achieved an answer, was I guilty of putting myself in willful ignorance by deleting answers I felt I didn’t need to read or was too afraid to read?

 

[PerfectTiming]

It sounds like you are excessively scrupulous. You need to find a good spiritual director that can help you.

 

[mymamamary]

You are suffering what i suffer from, Scrupulosity, a real pain in the haunches!!, I will pray for you…

Hail Mary, Full of Grace, the LORD is with thee, blessed art Thou amongst women, and blessed is the FRUIT of thy womb, JESUS, Holy Mary, Mother of God, Pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

P.S find a Traditional Minded Priest and oblige him to be your spiritual director/confessor. It really helped me!!

 

[Edmundus1581]

I often suffer from obsessions, fears and anxieties, which often take a religious turn.

I usually have at least one obsessive, gripping fear of some sin, real or imagined, that consumes me. It sends me into anxiety attacks and panics and depression until I’ve sorted out every single angle I can.

Sometimes I’ve asked the same “is this a sin?” question to a half dozen people, , feeling like I never worded it right before, or like I needed more opinions. Sometimes, I’ve emailed one of our diocese priests…however, there have been a couple times where I was either over my fear by the time I got a reply back, or I was too panicked to read what the answer was, sure it was condemning, and I would delete some replies without reading.

In the case of panic, I usually would finally ask the question one more time from someone spiritual that I highly trust, and try to settle my mind that I had a legitimate answer. I also scour the catechism and Bible.

However, even if I later achieved an answer, was I guilty of putting myself in willful ignorance by deleting answers I felt I didn’t need to read or was too afraid to read?

I’d be more concerned that deleting a personal reply is simply rude. If you have written directly to someone with a question and received a reply, then you owe it to them to read it, consider it, and thank them with a personal response.

I am sorry to put this extra “guilt” on someone who admits to fears and anxieties, but please do make the effort to respond to personal advice which you have solicited. I recommend that, if possible, you go through your “deleted” mail-box (which is possibly there in your email program) and send a brief letter of thanks to each personal reply. This may be too hard though if you’ve got 1000’s of items (including spam) in it.

 

[Miguelita]

I’d be more concerned that deleting a personal reply is simply rude. If you have written directly to someone with a question and received a reply, then you owe it to them to read it, consider it, and thank them with a personal response.

I am sorry to put this extra “guilt” on someone who admits to scruples and doubts, but please do make the effort to respond to personal advice which you have solicited. I recommend that, if possible, you go through your “deleted” mail-box (which is possibly there in your email program) and send a brief letter of thanks to each personal reply. This may be too hard though if you’ve got 1000’s of items (including spam) in it.

I really wish I couldundo, but they are no longer in my box woudl it suffice to send a general thanks for their time and service?

 

[Edmundus1581]

I really wish I couldundo, but they are no longer in my box woudl it suffice to send a general thanks for their time and service?

In general, yes, a late “thank you” is better than none at all.

However, as you have not read the response and don’t know what’s there, and because you don’t have the subject line of the message, it probabaly isn’t appropriate to write “out of the blue” to someone. They probably won’t know what it’s about without a “re: …” in the subject line. If, however, you personally know one of the people you asked, then it may still be a good idea to send a “thank you”.

Oh, and thanks for responding to my post.

 

[Miguelita]

I’ve been told by a few people that I’m scrupulous, and sometimes I agree, but other times I just want to shake the people who tell me that and ask, Don’t you see, though? how bad what I did was? I never feel like I explained what I’ve done thoroughly enough. Even changing minor details of a question to condense it to a readable lentgh feels like I’m hiding something. OI feel guiltover enjoying things. Even if I’ve had four people tell me that ____ is not a sin, I feel so guilty for having fun doing it, or enjoying it. I feel like if it’s something I enjoy, it must be a sin, and I just am not going to enough trouble to find out because I don’t want to give it up. That’s why I end up asking so many times, rewording and rethinking…it never seems like scrupulousness to me, but then, I suppose a scrupulous person wouldn’t think they’re scrupulous?

I need chocolate -_-

 

[PerfectTiming]

I’ve been told by a few people that I’m scrupulous, and sometimes I agree, but other times I just want to shake the people who tell me that and ask, Don’t you see, though? how bad what I did was? I never feel like I explained what I’ve done thoroughly enough. Even changing minor details of a question to condense it to a readable lentgh feels like I’m hiding something. OI feel guiltover enjoying things. Even if I’ve had four people tell me that ____ is not a sin, I feel so guilty for having fun doing it, or enjoying it. I feel like if it’s something I enjoy, it must be a sin, and I just am not going to enough trouble to find out because I don’t want to give it up. That’s why I end up asking so many times, rewording and rethinking…it never seems like scrupulousness to me, but then, I suppose a scrupulous person wouldn’t think they’re scrupulous?

I need chocolate -_-

From what you’ve said, you’re definitely scrupulous. Seriously, find a spiritual director/confessor.

 

[Miguelita]

Alright…isa spiritual director always a priest? or s sister? Can it be someone spiritual who you trust? Just wondering what exactly a spiritual directer is.