Am I in Mortal sin? Doubt

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Hello,

I’m new here, so forgive me for any errors.

I’m a Catholic who recently returned from being lapsed, and have discovered I’m quite scrupulous.

This evening, I had the thought come across my mind “I wish I wasn’t Catholic since it’s so hard” with all the mortal sin worries and what not. I quickly afterward said no that’s not true that’s a sin and I believe. I then quickly after thought the same thing again. Am I in mortal sin?
 
We don’t have a true and radical ownership of our thoughts, which can wander and be contaminated by Satan, too. Of course there is a big difference between to think some things in this quick way or to continue to focus on the dark thought for a long time. In your case, i can suggest you to relax yourself and to speak about it with your confessor when the emergency finishes. Think that Jesus Himself feared in the night before His death and He told His Father to modify His fate if it was possible, but not His, but God’s will be done. (Sorry for my poor English, i am Italian)
 
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So hard? What? From the poorest, illiterate peasant to the most brilliant minds on earth, the faith just fits. It is not too difficult for any of them.

Perceptions can make it seem difficult.

If you are scrupulous, deal with the scruples. If you do not, it is not Catholicism that is hard…

…it’s life that is hard.
 
Perhaps I worded that poorly, sorry. I guess I’m trying to say I’m in constant worry of being in mortal sin, and that’s why I perceive it to be so hard. I have gone to confession the last two days because of this, and about things I was told wasn’t even sin.

As for the scruples, OCD, I reached out to a clinic, but in these difficult times, I think the clinics are pretty full of scared people.
 
Still, scruples are the source of doubt. They are corrosive to a spiritual life and ultimately, to faith. Counseling can be done over the phone, for that matter. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is the gold standard in the treatment of anxiety, OCD and scruples - all closely related.
 
I really appreciate that, I’m trying I swear. The clinic didn’t respond to me back from I believe Monday, so I reached out again. I swear I’m not trying to act stupid, but thank you for the words! It’s reassuring somewhat to hear this isn’t a Faith problem more so an OCD problem. Can I ask, have you had familiarity with cbt? Is it effective? I’ve had this problem my whole life, but the last few years have been the worst.y Prozac ran out in this time and my insurance changed, so for a point, I didn’t have access to medication
 
My experience with it is from moderating a cancer forum for eight years, in which anxiety affected and afflicted those with cancer, but even more profoundly: those who did not have cancer. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is administered by well-known Catholic Dr. Gregory Popcak, via his Pastoral Solutions Institute. It is drug free and teaches the unlearning of thought patterns and types that have lead you where you are today.

It is difficult to hear of anything beside the Corona virus, but anxiety is the true epidemic. One in five - 64 million Americans - suffer from some form of anxiety. You are far from alone in this.

Will the struggle be easy? Probably not. Will it yield rewards? Absolutely.
 
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