Am I just being over-sensitive here?

  • Thread starter Thread starter tvknight415
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
T

tvknight415

Guest
Ok, so my sister is going through her second divorce (nothing finalized yet-her ex just moved out a little over a month ago), and already she’s dating someone new. Well, turns out that the new guy is the father of her son’s girlfriend (both kids are sophomores in high school).

Some other background about my sis: she married hubby #1 about 2 years after they had a child together (she was pregnant at 19). She was shacking up with #2 within two months of kicking #1 out (like, overnights at her house shacking up). Two kids with #1, and 1 with #2. First marriage went 7 years; second went 10.

I’ve mentioned my concerns to her and she told me she’s very happy with her new guy and he’s wonderful and it wasn’t really my concern. Older generations (parents, grandmother) seem to think that it’s not a big deal, as long as she’s happy, and that he seems like a nice guy. To be fair, I have not had the chance to meet him yet (and only met the son’s girlfriend a couple of times). But, to me, this is kind of weird, something that they certainly shouldn’t be doing because their kids are dating each other (hello… awkward…), and she seems to be moving at warp speed after her marriages have ended to start another relationship (neither divorce has been finalized before she started dating, in fact she was pushing to get #1 finalized and get the six month waiting period until she could remarry over and was married again about less than 13 months after kicking out #1).

So, am I being overly sensitive, or is there something messed up about this whole thing? The only other family member who seems to have a problem with it is her son who’s dating her boyfriend’s daughter (or, if they do have a problem, they’re not really saying).
 
Yes, there are many things wrong with the scenario you provide.

However, what exactly do you think you can “do” about it? Yes, it’s messed up. But it’s also hardly your place to tell a grown woman who does not live with you what to do or not do. You’ve already pointed out the concerns, and she has rebuffed you.

Not much more to be done on your part until and unless she has some kind of conversion experience. Continue to be a good example, continue to pray for her conversion.
 
tvknight415 said:
Ok, so my sister is going through her second divorce (nothing finalized yet-her ex just moved out a little over a month ago), and already she’s dating someone new. Well, turns out that the new guy is the father of her son’s girlfriend (both kids are sophomores in high school).

Some other background about my sis: she married hubby #1 about 2 years after they had a child together (she was pregnant at 19). She was shacking up with #2 within two months of kicking #1 out (like, overnights at her house shacking up). Two kids with #1, and 1 with #2. First marriage went 7 years; second went 10.

I’ve mentioned my concerns to her and she told me she’s very happy with her new guy and he’s wonderful and it wasn’t really my concern. Older generations (parents, grandmother) seem to think that it’s not a big deal, as long as she’s happy, and that he seems like a nice guy. To be fair, I have not had the chance to meet him yet (and only met the son’s girlfriend a couple of times). But, to me, this is kind of weird, something that they certainly shouldn’t be doing because their kids are dating each other (hello… awkward…), and she seems to be moving at warp speed after her marriages have ended to start another relationship (neither divorce has been finalized before she started dating, in fact she was pushing to get #1 finalized and get the six month waiting period until she could remarry over and was married again about less than 13 months after kicking out #1).

So, am I being overly sensitive, or is there something messed up about this whole thing? The only other family member who seems to have a problem with it is her son who’s dating her boyfriend’s daughter (or, if they do have a problem, they’re not really saying).
Click to expand...
Many of us have messed up family members. I guess it is good you have not realized it until now. For me, I realized it a long time ago…
 
1ke said:
Yes, there are many things wrong with the scenario you provide.

However, what exactly do you think you can “do” about it? Yes, it’s messed up. But it’s also hardly your place to tell a grown woman who does not live with you what to do or not do. You’ve already pointed out the concerns, and she has rebuffed you.

Not much more to be done on your part until and unless she has some kind of conversion experience. Continue to be a good example, continue to pray for her conversion.
Click to expand...
Yes.

It sounds like sis is getting old without ever managing to grow up.

The only constructive thing I can suggest is to reach out to the kids and be a good aunt or uncle to them. It sounds like they need all the stable adult influence they can get right now.
 
tvknight415 said:
Ok, so my sister is going through her second divorce (nothing finalized yet-her ex just moved out a little over a month ago), and already she’s dating someone new. Well, turns out that the new guy is the father of her son’s girlfriend (both kids are sophomores in high school).

Some other background about my sis: she married hubby #1 about 2 years after they had a child together (she was pregnant at 19). She was shacking up with #2 within two months of kicking #1 out (like, overnights at her house shacking up). Two kids with #1, and 1 with #2. First marriage went 7 years; second went 10.

I’ve mentioned my concerns to her and she told me she’s very happy with her new guy and he’s wonderful and it wasn’t really my concern. Older generations (parents, grandmother) seem to think that it’s not a big deal, as long as she’s happy, and that he seems like a nice guy. To be fair, I have not had the chance to meet him yet (and only met the son’s girlfriend a couple of times). But, to me, this is kind of weird, something that they certainly shouldn’t be doing because their kids are dating each other (hello… awkward…), and she seems to be moving at warp speed after her marriages have ended to start another relationship (neither divorce has been finalized before she started dating, in fact she was pushing to get #1 finalized and get the six month waiting period until she could remarry over and was married again about less than 13 months after kicking out #1).

So, am I being overly sensitive, or is there something messed up about this whole thing? The only other family member who seems to have a problem with it is her son who’s dating her boyfriend’s daughter (or, if they do have a problem, they’re not really saying).
Click to expand...
how is her son taking this? If he were to break up with the girlfriend and his mom marries her dad… talk about awkward. And even if they don’t break up… awkward.

Let her son know that you are there for him if he ever needs to talk (without stepping all over your sister).

May The Lord bring your family peace and wisdom. Amen.
 
I’m going through the same with my sister she’s marrying a guy she’s lived with for 5 years and my brother will be marrying them…he’s not a priest and doesn’t believe in any religion at all. I voiced my concerns a few times and let it be. They never listen to me and the more I talk about the more their ears remain closed so I just accept and move on it’s their life not mine.
 
I would say that’s a train wreck. I guess family members don’t want to discuss it because really, what’s the point? It won’t change anything, and if it gets back to your sister that they said something negative about her choices, it could make problems. Do the best you can with the kids.
 
Hi: I always get into trouble for giving too much feedback that people really don’t want-despite the fact that they ask for it. So, I will simply say that blurred boundaries are only the beginning of the problem.

Sheila
 
Your sister is right, it is none of your concern. This whole thing will probably end badly, but that is her problem and her life. Keep praying for her and your nephew.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top