Am I living in sin !?

[Kandi2003]

My mother left me when I was 12 after the divorce she wanted nothing to do with me , then about a year after the divorce she threatened my father that she would go after custody if he didn’t give her a piece of property he got , he eventually gave in , after that I hadn’t heard from my mother for 2 years other then a rare Facebook message or text . Now my mother is suing my father for hidden assets after . About a year and a half after the divorce she called me and told or more bragged that she had slept with over 200 hundred men to my father , this really hurt me . She even cheated on my father who knows how many times , I feel betrayed and feel like I can never forgive her , like I can never have a normal relationship with her . I don’t know if I will ever forgive her , is this considered a sin? . Also I’m not catholic yet but I plan to be once I’m a adult do to a Protestant father

 

[MaryEstelle2]

I would consider it a broken heart. The Lord understands your pain. Forgiveness comes in time esp. now that you realize that your mother is probably mentally ill. Sometimes it is long in coming. Pray earnestly for your mother; she needs it. Prayer is a two-way band-aid for the soul and you both need healing. I will pray for both of you.

 

[tweedlealice]

Sweetheart,
This has been a painful time for you. FORGIVENESS IS A MUST!
Say the”OUR FATHER” forgive us our trespasses AS WE FORGIVE THOSE, who trespass against us.
If we don’t forgive, our Father cannot forgive us.
How many times are you to forgive? God says,” SEVENTY TIMES SEVENTY!”

  That just means infinity. ALWAYS FORGIVE.

There is head forgiveness and heart forgiveness.
You know you must forgive but your heart is not in it. I FORGIVE YOU, MOM. God, I don’t FEEL like Im forgiving her. Help me, Jesus. In Your sweet name. Amen.send her a FB message how you feel about all things. Then forgive her.
As you get comfortable w the resolution that forgiveness gives. You find your heart followed in our head. ALLS GOOD.
Your mother is ill, dear. Mental illness causes run away episodes in marriage. Just pray for her.
In Christ’s Love
Tweedlealice

 

[guanophore]

this really hurt me . She even cheated on my father who knows how many times , I feel betrayed and feel like I can never forgive her , like I can never have a normal relationship with her . I don’t know if I will ever forgive her , is this considered a sin?

Forgiveness does not mean that you approve of what she did, or that you deny being hurt by it, deny that it hurt your father, or that you enter a relationship with her that might enable her to do more wrong.

Yes, we are required to forgive everyone, as we pray in the Lord’s Prayer. This does not mean that you “forget” what was done, or that you even communicate with the person who did the wrong. You pray for her, and ask God to heal the wrongs that have been committed.

Honestly, such a statement sounds like something a person would say who is quite ill, so you should pray for her to be healed as well.

Forgiveness comes in time

Forgiveness is an act of the will. Each time the emotions activate a feeling of hurt or resentment, and act of the will must be made again. Eventually, the feelings will follow. Holding on to resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

The Limits of Forgiveness | Catholic Answers Magazine

 

[MaryEstelle2]

Isn’t that really what I indicated? It takes a ‘will’ to pray for someone who has damaged our hearts. The act of prayer for someone’s mental illness by those that have suffered because of the results will be beneficial to both. Yes, it may take time to see and feel the change in self or others or it may take a lot of time. Sometimes I do not make my replies very clear and I apologize for that.

 

[guanophore]

Isn’t that really what I indicated? It takes a ‘will’ to pray for someone who has damaged our hearts.

You indicated that it “takes time”, which is true, as the healing comes in layers. But it is imperative that we exercise the will and choose to forgive immediately, and not wait until we “feel” like forgiving.

The act of prayer for someone’s mental illness by those that have suffered because of the results will be beneficial to both.

Yes, and that certainly does appear to apply in this case!

Yes, it may take time to see and feel the change in self or others or it may take a lot of time. Sometimes I do not make my replies very clear and I apologize for that.

It does take time to see and feel the change in self and others.

 

[MaryEstelle2]

Where did I say that you have to 'feel like forgiving?" I did not say that. I said it takes time before you 'see and feel the change in self and others. I don’t understand why you have put a slight twist on my post. Have I offended you in some way?

 

[Mary888]

Forgiveness is actually really hard especially when you know all the details and how it has affected you and/or others you love. We must forgive however no one should be forced to forgive. If you can’t forgive her now at least pray to God that He forgives her.
May God bless you and your father.

 

[angel12]

I feel betrayed and feel like I can never forgive her , like I can never have a normal relationship with her . I don’t know if I will ever forgive her , is this considered a sin? .

I’d say that’s a perfectly normal reaction. It could take a lot of time to forgive her. And remember, forgiveness doesn’t mean you have to accept her behavior, or let her hurt you.
It would be good if you can pray to be able to forgive her. That may well be the best you can do for a while.

 

[guanophore]

Where did I say that you have to 'feel like forgiving?" I did not say that.

You did not.

Have I offended you in some way?

Certainly not! I am just trying to clarify that the “taking time” part should not include the act of forgiveness, which is likely to go opposite the feelings, since they take time.

I feel betrayed and feel like I can never forgive her

I am just saying that forgiveness is not based on “feeling”. It is an act of the will. The feeling of betrayal may also not go away, even after a long period of time, and that is not necessarily a bad thing, either. If one “forgets” what has happened then one is more likely to allow it to happen again.

I’d say that’s a perfectly normal reaction.

Not only normal, but healthy! It is the awareness that an injustice has occurred that helps keep us on guard to prevent further such incidents.