Am I Married in the eyes of God?

[Amandaamaral1996]

I recently got married but did not get Married in church nor was I married by a priest. My husband is not catholic he’s Christian but he respects my beliefs. So my question is if I’m legally married am I married in the eyes of god as well?

 

[Gorgias]

You’re Catholic, I take it?

If so, then no: if you weren’t married by a Catholic priest or deacon, in a church building of the Catholic Church, then your marriage isn’t considered valid by the Church.

No worries, though – you can fix this!

Talk to your parish priest, and ask about getting your marriage “convalidated”. If you and your spouse are free to marry (i.e., no prior valid marriages to living persons), then you can fairly easily enough correct the issue and enter into a valid marriage!

 

[Vico]

I recently got married but did not get Married in church nor was I married by a priest. My husband is not catholic he’s Christian but he respects my beliefs. So my question is if I’m legally married am I married in the eyes of god as well?

You should see a Catholic priest, for you two can possibly have a convalidation. Catholics are bound to the Catholic form of marriage (or else a dispensation from it) for recognition of a marriage. The Church must verify that there are no prior valid marriages and that the consent is correct, and that there are no impediments that cannot be dispensed, and dispense any other impediments. Permission may be granted for marriage of a Catholic to a non-Catholic.

 

[1ke]

So my question is if I’m legally married am I married in the eyes of god as well?

That depends.

If you are a Catholic, whether your marriage is valid or not depends on whether you received
a dispensation to get married outside Catholic form.

If you haven’t already approached your pastor about marriage in the church, go see him and start the process.

Is there a reason you didn’t ask these questions before you got married?

 

[Gorgias]

Is there a reason you didn’t ask these questions before you got married?

Spoiler

I might guess that the answer is the prevailing assumption among most Catholics: if I don’t get married in a Church building, there’s no way that my marriage will be valid, so it doesn’t even make sense to ask.

 

[LovelyLadybug]

No, you are not married in the eyes of God.

 

[stpurl]

A. Are you Catholic? If so, you should have married in the Church. Therefore, now that you realize (I don’t need to know why you didn’t think about this before the marriage because that’s water under the bridge), you and your spouse should talk with your priest (I assume you are, if Catholic, attending Mass regularly, as this is also part of being a Catholic) about being convalidated. As long as neither of you has been previously married with a living ex-spouse, this should be a relatively quick and simple process.
B. Catholics are Christians. Non-Catholic Christians are Christians. If you are Catholic and your spouse is not, you are a Catholic Christian and he is a nonCatholic Christian.
C. You are married in the eyes of the law, but you aren’t married in the eyes of God. If you are a Catholic Christian you made promises at your baptism (through your parents and sponsors), you made a commitment in Communion, Confirmation, and Reconciliation, and you have ever since been part of the family of God. Family have responsibilities to each other from the love they have. Parents have responsibilities for caring for their children, children have responsibilities for loving and obeying their parents, etc. God is your Father. He asked you to do some things as part of being a member of His family. If you love Him, you will do as He asks.
D. God is a proper noun. Proper nouns start with capital letters, even if they are not the first word of a sentence. So you would type “God” at all times.

 

[TC3033]

That depends.

If you are a Catholic, whether your marriage is valid or not depends on whether you received
a dispensation to get married outside Catholic form.

For everyone that keeps saying no, the OP needs to come back and clarify the above before anyone can say yes or no.

 

[JulianN]

No, you are not married in the eyes of God.

We don’t have enough information to state this uncategorically.

 

[Rau]

That depends.

If you are a Catholic, whether your marriage is valid or not depends on whether you received
a dispensation to get married outside Catholic form.

If the OP received a dispensation, I doubt the original question would have been posed. We know the OP is catholic and I think it safe to assume that was the case at the time of marriage.

 

[TC3033]

Who knows…It’s a decent assumption, but I’ve also seen where “mixed” marriages are done within a Catholic Church, but outside of Mass (totally legit and a sacrament) where extended family accuse the couple of not being married because it’s not within a “full” Mass (with communion…like mine)

So assumptions all around I guess…

 

[do_justly_love_mercy]

Notwithstanding the caveats already stated with regard to dispensation and convalidation, which presumably do not apply as you didn’t mention them, it sounds like you are almost certainly not married in the eyes of the Church. However, I wouldn’t like to claim to know God’s personal opinion on the question. We believe that the Church’s teachings are revealed by God, but I wouldn’t like to presume to know what God thinks about every individual situation.

 

[1Lord1Faith]

then your marriage isn’t considered valid by the Church.

I thought a marriage like this was considered valid but illicit. Which if I’m not mistaken makes it an ecclesiastical violation, not a divine violation so to speak.

Anyway, I wouldn’t presume to say that someone who intended to get married is in fact not married in the eyes of God. Especially over the internet seems like hubris.

 

[Gorgias]

I thought a marriage like this was considered valid but illicit

With all due respect, you’re mistaken. Lack of form is lack of form – and it makes for an invalid (and not merely illicit) marriage.

Anyway, I wouldn’t presume to say that someone who intended to get married is in fact not married in the eyes of God.

A Catholic who marries outside of the required form might intend something, but what he intends is clearly not Christian marriage, as the Church defines it.

I appreciate that your presumption is somewhat different; but it doesn’t reflect the mind of the Church and her stated teachings.

Especially over the internet seems like hubris.

I’m not confident in myself; I’m confident that I understand what the Church teaches. If you’re asserting – “over the internet” – that you’re right and I’m wrong, aren’t you exhibiting ‘hubris’ as well?

Then again, if you’re accusing the Church herself of hubris, well then…

 

[1Lord1Faith]

I’ll try to be clearer.

Since you’re declaring this person’s marriage to be invalid in the eyes of God, maybe you could provide some solid evidence to go along with your condemnation.

 

[DeniseNY]

OP, the best thing to do is discuss this with a priest.

 

[Gorgias]

Since you’re declaring this person’s marriage to be invalid in the eyes of God, maybe you could provide some solid evidence to go along with your condemnation.

“Condemnation”? No… nothing of the sort! I’m not passing judgment on the OP, or her spouse, or on the quality or potential longevity of their relationship!

But… sure! I can provide substantiation of my assertion!

Let’s start with canon law:

Can. 1108 §1. Only those marriages are valid which are contracted before the local ordinary, pastor, or a priest or deacon delegated by either of them, who assist, and before two witnesses according to the rules expressed in the following canons and without prejudice to the exceptions mentioned in cann. 144, 1112, §1, 1116, and 1127, §§1-2.

So, as a Catholic, if your wedding ceremony isn’t “contracted before… a priest or deacon” and “according to the rules expressed in [the] canons”, then your marriage isn’t valid (unless, of course, you receive dispensation from this requirement… which the OP states she didn’t).

But, canon law isn’t always the easiest thing to read. Let’s look at a reliable reference – Foster’s “Annulment: The Wedding that Was”:

The form of marriage requires the presence of an official witness who assists the parties at the time of consent, as well as two witnesses who are present for the exchange of vows. Whenever a Catholic marries, this form is required, unless dispensed from, for the marriage to be valid.

So… the proper context here is ‘lack of validity’, not ‘lack of liceity’, given the OP’s own description of her situation.

Hope that helps.

 

[1Lord1Faith]

Condemnation”? No… nothing of the sort! I’m not passing judgment on the OP, or her spouse

You implied that they weren’t married in the eyes of God, because that was the question that was asked. So, yeah you condemned the marriage and yourself, because you have no authority to pass judgment on their marriage.

Are you a canon lawyer or a priest? Are you absolutely positive that this person’s marriage is invalid in the eyes of the Church, try not to speak for God. Have you investigated their marriage? Do you even have the authority or competence to do so?

 

[Rau]

Are you a canon lawyer or a priest? Are you absolutely positive that this person’s marriage is invalid in the eyes of the Church ,…

Can I ask you - after reading Canon 1108 quoted above, are you uncertain whether the marriage in question is invalid?

 

[Gorgias]

Are you a canon lawyer or a priest? Are you absolutely positive that this person’s marriage is invalid in the eyes of the Church , try not to speak for God. Have you investigated their marriage? Do you even have the authority or competence to do so?

Let’s be honest: even if I said “yes, I’m a priest!” or “yes, I’m a canon lawyer!” or even “yes, I’ve studied canon law!”, would that make a difference to you?

After all, I answered the OP’s question, and you accused me of hubris. I explained that my answers weren’t personal opinion, but were the teaching of the Church, and you accused me of condemning the OP. Then, I substantiated my assertions with canon law and expert commentary, and you still give me grief.

At this point, I think that the best course of action is to invite you to ask a priest or canon lawyer – the next time you run into one of them – whether “lack of form” affects validity or merely liceity.

Have a lovely evening 1L1F. If you do not have eyes to see or ears to hear, I don’t think there’s much more I can do to help you see the truth.

I’m not sure that anyone noticed that the phrase “in the eyes of God” was used.

The OP is asking about the Church. Unless, of course, you are asserting that the Church does not have the authority to regulate her sacraments. Or, unless you’re saying that the Church is at odds with God. Either way, I think your assertions of ‘hubris’ are directed toward the wrong poster.

Peace.