Am I married?

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Hello,

I am (currently) a protestant, who believes most all of Catholic doctrine. (I just haven’t gotten around to confermation yet) I am baptized. I am also married (in the courthouse.) My husband has no desire to become baptized, and even less to be Catholic. I would like to raise our son Catholic as well, but I don’t believe my husband would agree for him to be baptized before he is older (he is only two now.) My question is Are we truly married in the eyes of God? I am not thinking about divorce, but I have heard that our marriage isn’t considered such because he isn’t baptized.
 
Hello,

I am (currently) a protestant, who believes most all of Catholic doctrine. (I just haven’t gotten around to confermation yet) I am baptized. I am also married (in the courthouse.) My husband has no desire to become baptized, and even less to be Catholic. I would like to raise our son Catholic as well, but I don’t believe my husband would agree for him to be baptized before he is older (he is only two now.) My question is Are we truly married in the eyes of God? I am not thinking about divorce, but I have heard that our marriage isn’t considered such because he isn’t baptized.
Since you were never Catholic, the Church views itself as having no authority over your marriage. As far as I know, the Church would view it as presumptively valid, but not a sacrament (civil, and your husband is unbaptized). If you become Catholic, you could have your marriage validated in the Church, but I don’t think it’s required. I think you could also get your marriage dissolved (Petrine or Pauline privelege, I always confuse them) b/c your husband is not Christian. I would talk to a good Priest.

God Bless you, and an early welcome home!
 
Since you were never Catholic, the Church views itself as having no authority over your marriage. As far as I know, the Church would view it as presumptively valid, but not a sacrament (civil, and your husband is unbaptized). If you become Catholic, you could have your marriage validated in the Church, but I don’t think it’s required. I think you could also get your marriage dissolved (Petrine or Pauline privelege, I always confuse them) b/c your husband is not Christian. I would talk to a good Priest.

God Bless you, and an early welcome home!
Marriages cannot be dissolved. The Church presumes any marriage is valid unless a thorough investigation reveals that it was never a marriage in the first place.
 
Since you were never Catholic, the Church views itself as having no authority over your marriage.
That is entirely incorrect. Why do you think the Church requires all marriages to be reviewd by a tribunal if there has been a divorce?
 
Marriages cannot be dissolved. The Church presumes any marriage is valid unless a thorough investigation reveals that it was never a marriage in the first place.
Because there is so much confusion created by language, and the use of words in or out of contexts, it might be better to say that the Church presumes every marriage valid, unless and until it is shown that the marriage was not a sacramental union.

To say that it was not a marriage confuses those who know that they made a vow, that the State recognized it and recorded it as a marriage, and that the IRS accepted it as a marriage. It also causes no small amount of emotional pain, and often hinders those who could seek a declaration of nullity from obtaining one, as they have then the mistaken notion that the children are illegitimate.
 
Since you were never Catholic, the Church views itself as having no authority over your marriage. As far as I know, the Church would view it as presumptively valid, but not a sacrament (civil, and your husband is unbaptized). If you become Catholic, you could have your marriage validated in the Church, but I don’t think it’s required. I think you could also get your marriage dissolved (Petrine or Pauline privelege, I always confuse them) b/c your husband is not Christian. I would talk to a good Priest.
I’m not a good priest (or any kind, for that matter), but I do function as a walking encyclopedia from time to time.

Pauline Privelege deals with two non-baptised persons marrying, and one later is baptized but the other refuses to be. The baptized person may leave said marriage to be wed to another baptized person (moving from a merely natural marriage to a sacramental one).

The Petrine Privelege is a little longer and is summed up here: lcdiocese.org/Annulments/favor.htm
Keep in mind that it can only be done by the pope himself, and is rather rare.

Sam, the Neon Orange Knight
 
Hello,

I am (currently) a protestant, who believes most all of Catholic doctrine. (I just haven’t gotten around to confermation yet) I am baptized. I am also married (in the courthouse.) My husband has no desire to become baptized, and even less to be Catholic. I would like to raise our son Catholic as well, but I don’t believe my husband would agree for him to be baptized before he is older (he is only two now.) My question is Are we truly married in the eyes of God? I am not thinking about divorce, but I have heard that our marriage isn’t considered such because he isn’t baptized.
Your Marriage would be a valid natural Marriage, but would not be a Sacramental Marriage, which requires that both persons be validly Baptized.
 
Right, what Brother said. And there are lots of Catholics are are married to a non baptised person. (like me). It isn’t a sacrament but it would automatically become one if and when my husband is baptised. Never give up hope!
 
Perhaps some canonical references for some basic notions will be helpful for some in the future, because of this discussion. It’s as simple as I, who usually function as the walking comatose before coffee, can make it.🙂

**Valid marriage **is established by the legally expressed consent of a man and woman who are qualified by law, that is, not impeded by divine or ecclesiastical law (canon 1057).

The shorthand expression is that marriage is presumed valid. The proper expression runs a little longer. A properly celebrated marriage of persons who are legally qualified to marry would enjoy the favor of law, and its validity would be upheld in a case of doubt until the contrary were proven (canon 1060).

The marriage of a Catholic is regulated not only by divine law but also by canon law, without prejudice to the competence of civil authority concerning the merely civil effects of the same marriage (canon 1059). Others are regulated by divine law, the law of any non Catholic Church or ecclesial community to which they belong, and civil law without prejudice to divine law (canon 1059 as explained in the instruction Dignitas connubii, articles 2-5).

Before marriage is celebrated, the Church must be sure that a valid and legal marriage would result (canon 1066).

A valid marriage can be either non sacramental or sacramental. If one or both parties are unbaptized, it is non sacramental. If both are baptized, it is necessarily sacramental (canon 1055 §2). To make the distinction, non sacramental marriages may be called natural marriages, even though the present code does not have a specific name for them.

A sacramental marriage that has not been consummated is called ratified. Otherwise, it is called ratified and consummated (canon 1061 §1; the proper meaning of consummation is found in that canon as well.)

Dissolution is the permanent separation of the bonds of valid marriage by the authority given the Church and the Roman Pontiff, Vicar of Christ (canon 331+)

A ratified (ratum) and consummated marriage cannot be dissolved (canon 1141).

A non-consummated marriage between baptized persons or between a baptized party and non baptized party can be dissolved by the Roman Pontiff under certain conditions (canon 1142+) The Roman Pontiff can grant a dispensation from the obligations of a ratified and non consummated marriage as a favor (canon 1697+).

**A marriage entered by two non-baptized persons can be dissolved by means of the Pauline privilege in favor of the faith of a party under certain conditions (canon 1143 §1). (Please note then that the mention of this privilege in a post above is only meant to offer the gist of things. In part it is correct, and in part, it is not correct or complete. For example, there would be a problem if the petitioner culpably departs or gives the respondent just cause for departure. So be careful there.)

A marriage entered by parties, of whom at least one is not baptized, can be dissolved by the Roman Pontiff in favor of the faith, as long as the marriage itself had not been consummated after both spouses received baptism, under certain conditions. This so called “Petrine privilege” is governed by special norms outside of the code (Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, Norms To Complete the Process for the Dissolution of the Matrimonial Bond in Favor of the Faith, 2001).

The distinction between dissolution and a declaration of the nullity of marriage must be kept in mind.

A declaration of nullity
is a judgement by a tribunal that a given marriage, that enjoyed the presumption of validity, was not valid from the very beginning according to divine or ecclesiastical law.** It is not a judgement that a given marriage was not sacramental, but that it was not valid. **

A “marriage outside the Church” does not enjoy the presumption or appearance of validity because of the clear absence of the required form of the expression of consent. So there is also provision for a determination that expresses the Church’s judgement that a marriage contracted by a Catholic but without canonical form, a dispensation from canonical form, or an exception to canonical form, was not valid. This determination may be done simply through the prenuptial investigation of canon 1066 but most bishops commit the authority to investigate and determine this to officials in the curia or tribunal.

Dissolutions and declarations of nullity are without prejudice to the competence of civil authority concerning the merely civil effects of the same marriage (canon 1059).
 
Marriages cannot be dissolved. The Church presumes any marriage is valid unless a thorough investigation reveals that it was never a marriage in the first place.
That’s not correct. Catholic marriages cannot be dissoved. But, as Ne_Orange_Knight has helpfully provided, non-sacramental marriages can be dissolved by Petrine privelege. Which would seem to apply in this case.
Petrine Privilege
(Favor of the Faith)
Code:
The implementation of this procedure is reserved to The Pope. It involves the circumstance where one of the parties in the marriage is unbaptized and the other is baptized. Either party wants to become Catholic or wants to marry a Catholic. This marriage can be dissolved, permitting the person to become Catholic or to marry a Catholic. Thus, the Pope may act in favor of the Christian faith. Another example may be that a Methodist lady who is married to an unbaptized man falls in love with a Catholic man. The Pope may dissolve the marriage of the Methodist to facilitate her marriage to the Catholic man This is done in favor of the faith of her Catholic fiancé.
These cases require help from The Tribunal.
God Bless
 
That is entirely incorrect. Why do you think the Church requires all marriages to be reviewd by a tribunal if there has been a divorce?
What I meant was, the Church had no jurisdiction over her marriage at the time it was entered. If she had been Catholic, her marriage would have been presumptively invalid because it was outside the Church. Since she was not, her marriage is presumptively valid, though not sacramental. But it can be dissolved, by Petrine privelege if she wishes to become Catholic, or marry a Catholic.

God Bless
 
The important point that cameron lansing posted is that all marriages are presumed valid.
If we go back to the early Christians, most would have been married to non-believers or pagans unless they married after coming into the faith.
St. Paul tells the believing woman to remain with her husband as long as he remains with her.
“How do you know wife that you will not save your husband?”
Continue to honor and respect him.
Let God do the rest.
 
My question is Are we truly married in the eyes of God? I am not thinking about divorce, but I have heard that our marriage isn’t considered such because he isn’t baptized.
People have gone off on all sorts of tangents about dissolving the marriage, annulment, etc. And, as always, Deacon Cameron has done a great job of clarifying those things referenced in this thread.

But, you’ve clearly stated you intend to stay in your marriage. To answer the question you asked-- yes, you are very likely validly married.

We’ll assume you didn’t violate the divine law impediments (we will assume you didn’t marry your stepfather, brother, etc). Also, you make no mention of a previous marriage for either of you which would impact validity so if that’s the case then your marriage is likely valid.

You can double check with your priest when you make the final step of converting, and if there is any need to address the validity he will guide you through it.

It is absolutely not true your marriage would be considered invalid by the Catholic Church because your spouse is not baptized. It would be valid, but not a Sacrament. It would be what is called a natural marriage (or a good and natural marriage).
 
Hello,

I am (currently) a protestant, who believes most all of Catholic doctrine. (I just haven’t gotten around to confermation yet) I am baptized. I am also married (in the courthouse.) My husband has no desire to become baptized, and even less to be Catholic. I would like to raise our son Catholic as well, but I don’t believe my husband would agree for him to be baptized before he is older (he is only two now.) My question is Are we truly married in the eyes of God? I am not thinking about divorce, but I have heard that our marriage isn’t considered such because he isn’t baptized.
if you were both otherwise free to marry (no previous marriages, no impediment) then your marriage is presumed to be valid. The Catholic Church recognizes all marriages between non-Catholics as valid until proven otherwise. no way to answer in your case because it is impossible to know all the details, but if you ever decide to explore becoming Catholic, that would be the time to discuss your concerns with a Catholic priest. Right now, if neither parent is Catholic, a priest would be within his rights not to baptise your child, unless you could assure him the child would be raised Catholic.
 
I’m not a good priest (or any kind, for that matter), but I do function as a walking encyclopedia from time to time.

Pauline Privelege deals with two non-baptised persons marrying, and one later is baptized but the other refuses to be. The baptized person may leave said marriage to be wed to another baptized person (moving from a merely natural marriage to a sacramental one).

The Petrine Privelege is a little longer and is summed up here: lcdiocese.org/Annulments/favor.htm
Keep in mind that it can only be done by the pope himself, and is rather rare.

Sam, the Neon Orange Knight
I believe the Pauline Previledge applies only if the unbaptized partner prevents the new Catholic from practicing their faith. It is not a get out free card.
 
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