Am I Missing Something?

[MSSheBear]

I was under the impression we weren’t suppose to notice anyone else’s confession just whether the priest was available. If there was a repeat offender for taking up all the confession time then perhaps mentioning to the priest that you haven’t made it to confession because he ran out of time. Or maybe making an appointment for yourself because there are so many on Saturday.

I would like to add that I have trouble going to confession because I work Saturdays and let’s just say we don’t have weekly confession at our parish. I am stuck with using the Reconciliation Services which I assume is the emerging trend for confessions in lieu of the Saturday afternoon ones.

My last confession at the Reconciliation Service indicates that I need to go more often.:crying::imsorry:

 

[Bonnie]

I was under the impression we weren’t suppose to notice anyone else’s confession just whether the priest was available.

He wasn’t noticing to the point of reading her lips.

I’m fairly sure he mentioned it in confession - he’s better about those things than I am.

Tho at one penance service, even tho I tried hard to make it to the front of the line, several people beat me to it. We had been told to limit our confessions because of the large number of people, but I had to wait, and wait, and wait…

On top of that, I found the non-stop singing of the choir to be irritating, as well as the chatting in line by others around me. So by the time it was my turn to confess, I had 3 (!) additional items to confess.

At our old parish, I prayed almost every Sunday for the gift of deafness. It was not granted, but we moved to another parish where the noise is not nearly as much of a problem for me.

 

[babochka]

I would like to add that I have trouble going to confession because I work Saturdays and let’s just say we don’t have weekly confession at our parish. I am stuck with using the Reconciliation Services which I assume is the emerging trend for confessions in lieu of the Saturday afternoon ones.

Thankfully, this trend isn’t everywhere. I’ve noticed parishes in my area adding confession times recently. I’m surprised, because we live in the same region, perhaps even in the same diocese. Does your pastor serve more than one parish?

 

[john78]

do priests keep strict times on hearing confession ? I would guess they would if there is a mass celebration following shortly after.

What does a priest/ church do if they keep strict times on hearing confession an there are still people in line waiting ?

also , how does one confess an addiction or habit without being scrupulous, and or make a general confession, should we be going to confession even if we really have not committed any kind of sin ?

 

[Bonnie]

In our area, if the priest has to travel to another parish, they are told to try the next week or make an appointment. Some priests will hear confessions after Mass if they are able to stick around.

 

[MSSheBear]

Thankfully, this trend isn’t everywhere. I’ve noticed parishes in my area adding confession times recently. I’m surprised, because we live in the same region, perhaps even in the same diocese. Does your pastor serve more than one parish?

In my diocese we have several parishes with infrequent confession and I happen to be in one. Our one priest is very busy and someone informed me he is rarely at the scheduled confessions. Making an appointment with him can be challenging too. I haven’t seen any notice in an increase in scheduled confession times in my diocese. Almost all of them have scheduled confessions only on Saturday afternoon when I work. There is one notable exception but that still isn’t very helpful.

 

[klm120861]

A thought regarding people who take a long time in confession. Perhaps they were not raised Catholic, or have not been to confession very much during their life. I know a lot of us converts tend to take perhaps more than our fair share of time because we have such a difficult time knowing what needs to be confessed and how, and what doesn’t. We need someone to guide us through the process and that takes time.
Kris

 

[pigpen]

I try to make my confession complete yet efficient. I do a thorough examination of conscience beforehand. I journal, and that helps with my examination. I take my notes and a copy of the Act of Contrition with me to confession. This way I can recite my sins, forget none of them, and not stumble over my Act of Contrition. If my confession goes long, it is only because the priest has chosen to offer spiritual direction to me.

 

[pigpen]

In my diocese, the confessional is required to have a window. This is for the protection of the priest and penitent.

 

[Musician]

Also a small irritant for me!!! Our parish schedules 30 minutes a week for confession, which is ridiculous. I’ve been put on hold more than once and couldn’t receive communion. We live in the country and this is the only parish around. I understand that some have lifetime confessions, but to go to confession routinely and share all your thoughts, motivations, and to seek expansive counsel is not being very considerate of those waiting behind you. If that much counsel is needed, a scheduled appointment with the priest is advisable.
I for one do not understand why confession isn’t offered before every mass.
I am pretty scrupulous and maybe need to go to confession more often than some, I don’t know…But it is very disappointing to drive all the way to town for this necessary sacrament (even being early) and missing the boat because someone takes up 20 minutes of only a half-hour allotted for reconciliation.

 

[aspirant]

do priests keep strict times on hearing confession ? I would guess they would if there is a mass celebration following shortly after.

What does a priest/ church do if they keep strict times on hearing confession an there are still people in line waiting ?

In my experience, whether and why a priest keeps “strict time” varies from parish to parish and even priest to priest. What follows reflects only my limited personal experiences…

Usually, when a priest is observing a strict time limit and there are still people in line, he signals the end of confession time by leaving the confessional/confession area by leaving, either with or immediately after the last penitent he will hear. Sometimes he will also say something to the people still waiting in line.

A strict time limit is most often imposed by a Mass scheduled to follow confessions. The penitents in line are often aware of this limit, the Mass time having been posted or published in some manner. When the priest leaves the confessional, if he says anything to the people still in line, it’s usually something like “I’m sorry, I have to start the Mass now.” Occasionally he will offer to hear more confessions after Mass, but not always.

Sometimes no cause for the strict limit is apparent, but it is understandable that a priest may have an unpublished commitment to be somewhere else or that he just needs a break. Some priests inform the penitents still in line, e.g. “I’m sorry, I have to go to an appointment/meeting now,” etc.

Sometimes priests will mention the next available confession time: e.g. “There’s another scheduled confession time Thursday morning.” Sometimes priests don’t say anything to people waiting in line, they just leave.

On rare occasions, the priest will say something inappropriate to the people waiting in line, such as “You should have come earlier.” That might make sense if people were showing up five minutes before confession ended, but I’ve actually seen priests angrily bark this at people who were waiting in line long before confession even started. Fortunately, this kind of behavior is, in my experience, rare.

In any case, I hope priests will pay attention to how often it happens that there are still people waiting in line after the scheduled time has ended. If this is a frequent occurrence, efforts should be made to schedule more confession times.

It actually doesn’t bother me, as Byzantine confessions are out in the open anyway.

Yes! In my experiences in Ruthenian churches, confession is usually done in front of the icon of Christ in the iconostasis.

I’ve also experienced open confessions in many Latin churches-- usually when more priests than confessionals are available.

Occasionally a priest has asked me if anyone was in line behind me. I love those practical priests!

I have often experienced this, too. I try to remember to make a mental note of how many people are behind me so I can give the priest an estimate if he asks.

 

[UpUpAndAway]

If my confession goes long, it is only because the priest has chosen to offer spiritual direction to me.

I’m glad someone mentioned this. Sometimes when a confession goes long, the priest is the one prolonging it, not the penitent.

Case in point: I confess weekly, to my confessor/spiritual director. Usually this takes five minutes. We have a monthly hour-long appointment during which we can -]argue about/-] discuss my transgressions at length so there’s no reason to do so every week in the confessional. Yesterday I was at Notre-Dame in Paris to attend a Mass being offered for someone I know. I showed up well in advance of the Vespers that precedes this Mass and, knowing exceptional circumstances exist that may prevent me from confessing to my SD this week, I decided to go to confession there. I used to confess at Notre-Dame regularly, but have not done so for eight months. From “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned” through the end of my list of sins, no more than 45 seconds passed. I was in for 25 minutes total because the priest (who did not know me; neither of my ex-confessors were hearing confessions yesterday) wanted some background to determine what was leading me to sin. When I began, I had no intention of being in confession for 25 minutes. When I finally left the reconciliation room, I apologized to everyone still waiting even though it was not my fault. Confessions were scheduled to continue for another 45 minutes so I hope they were all able to go.

This has happened to me in my own parish. I once confessed to our parochial vicar, and he went on and on (and on) for so long—40 minutes!—that I finally had to cut him off myself.

 

[crazzeto]

I guess my personal opinion is let this be the concern of the clergy. I was at St. Joseph Catholic Church in Raleigh just yesterday for confession (about a month since my last I think) and everyone in line was taking 20 minutes at least (partly the slow talking priests fault).

Confession doesn’t just have to be in, rapid fire sins, absolution, act of contrition next. Reconciliation is just about that, being reconciled fully with Christ. I’m not a priest, but I imagine some might need more pastoral work, perhaps for others the heart and knowledge are both there combined with the pertinence so not much might need be said.

At least for me, since the idea is to be reconciled then I would say let people take as long as they need. This isn’t the grocery store checkout after all.

 

[GangGreen]

I guess my personal opinion is let this be the concern of the clergy. I was at St. Joseph Catholic Church in Raleigh just yesterday for confession (about a month since my last I think) and everyone in line was taking 20 minutes at least (partly the slow talking priests fault).

Confession doesn’t just have to be in, rapid fire sins, absolution, act of contrition next. Reconciliation is just about that, being reconciled fully with Christ. I’m not a priest, but I imagine some might need more pastoral work, perhaps for others the heart and knowledge are both there combined with the pertinence so not much might need be said.

At least for me, since the idea is to be reconciled then I would say let people take as long as they need. This isn’t the grocery store checkout after all.

The problem is that the amount of time available is often very short. Most parishes only allow one hour, once per week for confession. If everyone took 20 minutes, that’s only 5 people who can give a confession in a week. If someone wants to really go over every detail and pour their hearts out to the priest, they should make an appointment so that there is no concern over the line waiting behind them.

 

[englishredrose]

So glad am anglican per se and our church don’t have any set time and all done via appointment with the priest and I am allowed as long as I need. Only twice since 1985 I felt rushed or something at confession and that was once when I tried to be helpful toward the priest by booking it before the service because i wasn’t entirely sure or not if confession was the right place for what I wanted and proved it a little when he commented he didn’t know what the sin was but being ready I knew my back ground to it. The other time was when I got told he had to be at a meeting afterwards but all other times in my life I got given as long as I needed. which usually ends up being about twenty minutes from the church opening to getting back out there… with room for that bit of social chat afterwards. I noted the poster who had husband had looked thru the window and saw the penitent laughing at ease about something. He only had a snap shot look and looks can be very misleading. Very misleading without adding a lists of reasons to why she may have looked like she was laughing…
I am relieved that we book our times and can choose whenever we are both available and don’t have to think about lines etc.

 

[crazzeto]

The problem is that the amount of time available is often very short. Most parishes only allow one hour, once per week for confession. If everyone took 20 minutes, that’s only 5 people who can give a confession in a week. If someone wants to really go over every detail and pour their hearts out to the priest, they should make an appointment so that there is no concern over the line waiting behind them.

Penitents (any) can usually make confession by appointment, and there is the option of going to another parish if you miss at your regular parish. Not that I don’t understand this reasoning, but I think it should be up to the pastor to offer direction not parishioners.

Something else not considered here is what if the penitent came in expecting a very short confession, but the Christ acting through the priest decided this penitent required more direction than anyone thought at first. Then what was expected to be a short confession could suddenly become very long (as you describe).

If the point is that a penitent should make every effort within reason to accommodate others sure. But at the same time we should also make every effort to be patient with long confessions. In my book this is hardly different than the issue of small children in Mass.

 

[crazzeto]

So glad am anglican per se and our church don’t have any set time and all done via appointment with the priest and I am allowed as long as I need. Only twice since 1985 I felt rushed or something at confession and that was once when I tried to be helpful toward the priest by booking it before the service because i wasn’t entirely sure or not if confession was the right place for what I wanted and proved it a little when he commented he didn’t know what the sin was but being ready I knew my back ground to it. The other time was when I got told he had to be at a meeting afterwards but all other times in my life I got given as long as I needed. which usually ends up being about twenty minutes from the church opening to getting back out there… with room for that bit of social chat afterwards. I noted the poster who had husband had looked thru the window and saw the penitent laughing at ease about something. He only had a snap shot look and looks can be very misleading. Very misleading without adding a lists of reasons to why she may have looked like she was laughing…
I am relieved that we book our times and can choose whenever we are both available and don’t have to think about lines etc.

Um, it’s not like you can’t do a confession by appointment in the Catholic Church. But the purpose of set times is to offer the priests some predictability to their schedules.

 

[Deditus_Domina]

This thread has made me realize how fortunate I am with my church’s confession schedule! We have confession scheduled for 1 hr on a weekday evening and 1 hr on a Saturday morning after Mass. Typically 2 priests hear confessions for the entire hour and I haven’t seen both leave while anyone was still in line.

Some people take a really long time but usually the whole time they are waiting in line they are nervous/worried/distraught and they emerge prayerful and almost joyous. I am always so grateful to see that! The RCIA class made their confessions during the normal Saturday time before Holy Week and people were getting really antsy about the length of those newbie confessions, but only because they didn’t realize the situation.

We too have a windows in our confessionals. And anyone who looked in at me would see me serious for all of about 30 seconds and then smiling and happy. I hope no one is looking in and shaking their heads at me! My confessor is so nice I can’t help but be happy when talking to him. He is really gifted at saying exactly what needs to be said and no more or less. I have felt really worried about confessing venial sins too much though as I don’t want to contribute to the burden on our priests.

 

[crazzeto]

This thread has made me realize how fortunate I am with my church’s confession schedule! We have confession scheduled for 1 hr on a weekday evening and 1 hr on a Saturday morning after Mass. Typically 2 priests hear confessions for the entire hour and I haven’t seen both leave while anyone was still in line.

Some people take a really long time but usually the whole time they are waiting in line they are nervous/worried/distraught and they emerge prayerful and almost joyous. I am always so grateful to see that! The RCIA class made their confessions during the normal Saturday time before Holy Week and people were getting really antsy about the length of those newbie confessions, but only because they didn’t realize the situation.

With that kind of schedule you are lucky, in my Diocese I don’t know of any parish that has more than perhaps a couple hours on saturday or perhaps sunday after mass. That said, we are lucky enough that every parish priest seems more than willing to set up a confession by appointment. I’ve done that once already.

We too have a windows in our confessionals. And anyone who looked in at me would see me serious for all of about 30 seconds and then smiling and happy. I hope no one is looking in and shaking their heads at me! My confessor is so nice I can’t help but be happy when talking to him. He is really gifted at saying exactly what needs to be said and no more or less. I have felt really worried about confessing venial sins too much though as I don’t want to contribute to the burden on our priests.

A window into the confessional? That’s unusual

 

[CatholicServant]

I go to confession. Frequently. Or as often as I can, given the circumstances discussed below.

I went to a Catholic school, learned how to make a good confession, etc. And I’m typically in and out of the confessional in less than five minutes. Unless I have an unusually talkative priest. And even then it’s well under 10 minutes. I just say how long it’s been and the specific sins I’ve committed. I would like to be able to say how many times I’ve done everything, but I really don’t know how many times in a week I fall into the sins like yelling in my car at the terrible drivers around me, not being as caring to others as I should be, etc.

There are two priests at my parish and one has even said I make really good confessions- detailed, yet concise. (The other once said I made a good, albeit “rapid fire” confession one day when I was speaking rather quickly, trying to allow a couple more people in the 8+ long line behind me in the final 5 minutes of confession)

But regardless of what parish I may end up at for confession time, it seems as if I can get in line behind someone who can take literally 35 minutes. And these are sometimes people who are going every week! I’m sorry, but there is a line of 10 people that would like to go to confession. You get the right combination of people, and it’s just too bad for anyone not first or second in line. Too bad for the person 4th in line that may have a mortal sin they are trying to confess before Mass.

I am sincerely curious,
1)How does one make a weekly confession last 15-20 minutes, and
2) Am I wrong to urge these people to make outside appointments with the priest? Or am I just going to have to park myself in line well before confession starts each week so that I don’t wait in line for 90 minutes, only to not have my confession heard before Mass?

Thank you in advance.

I run into this problem frequently as well - my parish only offers confession once per week on Saturday from 3:30 to 5pm and there have been times that I am there before 4 and 4th or 5th in line and I can’t make confession because the priest has to leave at 5 for Saturday Vigil Mass…I really don’t understand how 1 or 2 people will take the whole posted confession time instead of setting up a private confession.