Am I narrow-minded?

[Saoirse]

thank you all for your assurances.

I felt a little bit worried, because one of my worst fears my whole life was becoming narrow minded - or so sure of my own opinions and values that I wouldn’t make room for other people’s…

but I didn’t think that was the message I was bringing across - it’s not that I wouldn’t attend an Anglican service, but that I wouldn’t attend an Anglican service instead of attending MASS… and it’s not like I was trying to push my views on people, it’s just that my views are now consistant with my faith and I am not going out of my way to hide my faith or lie about it, as if it were something to be ashamed of…

but when I was told I was being narrow-minded, I felt like… am I? would I recognize it if I were? I mean, becoming Catholic - I can’t say it hasn’t changed me - nothing in my life has changed me more than this meeting with God and the process of becoming entirely His…

with love and faith,
Saoirse

 

[unworthy]

ha ha absolutely not Saoirse!
I get this a lot from one of my siblings…you’re narrow minded, you think too much about God. The truth is, I don’t think about God enough!
You 'll find people saying this more and more if the people to whom you speak are blinded by worldy matters. Dun worry about it! Well…may be you are narrow minded…if you’re taking the narrow road

unworthy

 

[jmcrae]

Ask yourself this:

Would she have reacted the same way, if you had been a Hindu, and were asking what time the Temple services were, so that you could pray to your gods? Or if you had been a Muslim, and wanted to attend the nearest Mosque? Or if you had been a Jew, and needed a ride to the Synagogue?

Instead, you are a faithful Catholic who wants to go to Mass. How is this any different? She should have accomodated you in exactly the same way that she would have accomodated anyone else, instead of arguing with you about it.

What’s sad is that so many people feel the need to show a level of disrespect to the Catholic Church that it wouldn’t even occur to them to show towards any other religion - but the problem is not with us. It’s with them.

 

[chevalier]

thank you all for your assurances.

I felt a little bit worried, because one of my worst fears my whole life was becoming narrow minded - or so sure of my own opinions and values that I wouldn’t make room for other people’s…

That’s a noble fear, I would say, but be careful lest it lead you to value other people’s opinions more than the objective truth itself.

I think the truth (not “The Truth” as in Jesus, His word and all, but the simple factual correctness) is more important than opinions and other people’s opinions should concern us in so far as we should respect their feelings and the labour of their minds, and that we should remember we don’t have all the answers, while the others might as well be right. But on the logical level, between 0 and 1, there’s no room for concessions based on the fact that someone somewhere holds an opinion.

Let’s take abortion. It’s either wrong or right because it can’t be both (something can also be neutral, that is “neither” right or wrong, but that’s more in the direction of “right” as in “allowed”, if not on its own positive or laudible). So what matters? What matters is if it is right or if it is wrong. Opinions don’t matter. Belief does not create fact, and neither does even a rational conviction. We have no duty towards other people’s opinions and we owe them (opinions, not people) nothing.

However, we owe the people. We owe them to respect their feelings and the work of their mind. At this moment, I recall reading about how John Paul II as still a philosophy professor, defended from the ridicule by the students the book of a not-so-orthodox theologian, saying the man put a lot of effort in his work.

Opinions start to matter more in more subjective matters. What’s prettier - green or blue? There’s no answer. It’s a matter of opinion purely and that’s where the opinions and the fact that they’re someone’s opinions matters. If we think, “green is prettier than blue,” is objectively true, then we have a problem, of course.

The thing is to make the right difference between these two categories: matters of opinion and matters of fact - or, more precisely, matters objective and subjective. Of course, life is not so simple as this, so we have objective truths that can’t be found and strong opinions by all who are seeking them - then other people’s opinions are as good as ours, or as good as their or our knowledge, but our duty goes to the truth itself, not to other people’s opinions.

but I didn’t think that was the message I was bringing across - it’s not that I wouldn’t attend an Anglican service, but that I wouldn’t attend an Anglican service instead of attending MASS… and it’s not like I was trying to push my views on people, it’s just that my views are now consistant with my faith and I am not going out of my way to hide my faith or lie about it, as if it were something to be ashamed of…

Hmm… If:

1. You = Church
2. You = narrow-minded

Then the obvious conclusion is:

1. Church = narrow-minded

Wonder if that’s what the person claims. You could ask her. She can’t shoot you down with the easy, “but how do you know the Church agrees with you,” because the Church is not a golden middle of our singular opinions. Write your opinion down or state it clearly and show an official document - Canon 1247 ends the matter:

Can. 1247 On Sundays and other holy days of obligation, the faithful are obliged to participate in the Mass.

If she says the Church is wrong and she is right, then you don’t really need to talk to her anymore. She, however, should be removed from any ministries or offices.

Don’t let her whine and run into some excuses like, “but it’s not like that,” and all. It’s clearly spelt out. She either agrees or not. She can’t be both right and wrong and neither can the Church. Similarly, she can’t both agree and disagree.

Of course, this is guaranteed to get you called narrow-minded, but who cares?

 

[Jesus1]

thank you all for your assurances.

I felt a little bit worried, because one of my worst fears my whole life was becoming narrow minded - or so sure of my own opinions and values that I wouldn’t make room for other people’s…

but I didn’t think that was the message I was bringing across - it’s not that I wouldn’t attend an Anglican service, but that I wouldn’t attend an Anglican service instead of attending MASS… and it’s not like I was trying to push my views on people, it’s just that my views are now consistant with my faith and I am not going out of my way to hide my faith or lie about it, as if it were something to be ashamed of…

but when I was told I was being narrow-minded, I felt like… am I? would I recognize it if I were? I mean, becoming Catholic - I can’t say it hasn’t changed me - nothing in my life has changed me more than this meeting with God and the process of becoming entirely His…

with love and faith,
Saoirse

I used to (note the "used to ") feel the same way. I was accused of being self-righteous when I knelt for Communion, wore my veil, remained kneeling during the Our Father (one woman actually came over and hissed - yes hissed- at me and told me to get up). I have 6 children (pregnant 8 times) and have been looked down on, lectured at, etc. When we wouldn’t say mother God while teaching ccd, we were brought into a meeting where we were lectured at by the priest, religious education director and the parents of the son who were mad at us, I have to admit that I had my questions about what we were doing, maybe we were wrong, but after calling other priests in the area and asking if perhaps the Catholic Church now called God mother, well, I learned I was still on track. We were kicked out of teaching CCD after that, and that was hard to deal with. But, the thing that I noticed over the years, is this:

Whenever you are talking to a liberal, and they don’t like what you are saying, they call you narrow-minded, holier-than-thou, better than everyone else, etc. to get you to be quiet!!! I realized one day that not once did I ever call those people names. They accused me of finger pointing, everything else, but I started asking myself when I had done that, and I never had! As I watched how the liberals treated others traditional Catholics, I saw that they treated all of us the same way, name calling, trying to humiliate us into being quiet so that they could continue trying to get people to quit trying to show reverance and belief in our Lord.

So, just sit back, and watch and see how the liberals are out there pointing tons of fingers, and name-calling every one that disagrees with their beliefs. I have found them in my experience to be the most narrow-minded of all. If they don’t like your beliefs, they try to intimidate and keep you quiet by attacking you. It generally works because we as Catholics are trying to be charitable and kind and so we don’t go around calling everyone else names.

The Bible tells us that “Blessed are you when you are persecuted and hated for My sake, for great is your reward”, so rejoice!
Secondly, forgive them! Jesus says forgive, and it will be forgiven us. It is hard, but then once you forgive, you can move on, and their actions have no more affect on you, you aren’t held back by anger, etc. You might have to forgive them 50 times, but just keep doing it

God bless, and keep the Faith!

 

[chevalier]

If they don’t like your beliefs, they try to intimidate and keep you quiet by attacking you. It generally works because we as Catholics are trying to be charitable and kind and so we don’t go around calling everyone else names.

It’s also true that people who feel confronted, challenged, and face a calm opponent, will freak out. The calmness annoys people and a person who calls you names while you don’t seem to be affected a single bit, will sometimes become more enraged. Some people will get a cold shower and take a grip of themselves, while others will be further annoyed, will go to greater lengths to upset your balance and in the end, they might even get totally mad.

I’m not saying, however, that the raging person is always the one in the wrong. Sometimes those in the wrong can be calmer, have more self-control, better logical skills, more intelligence and wisdom even. They might well stay calm and thus tip you off balance even if you’re right and they are wrong. I remember lashing out on liars, for example.