Am I obligated to take back my wife?

[bc0414]

Three years ago, my wife left me and my two children. I didn’t know it then, but she had been seeing another man. She got remarried and now that marriage has ended and she is getting divorced from him because “she wants her family back.” Am I obligated as a Catholic to take her back?

 

[Michelle_Arnold]

You’re obligated to be open to the possibility. If your wife has truly repented, matured in both her faith and her ability to be a wife and mother, and is willing to earn again your trust and respect, it would be unjust of you to her to deny her the chance to repair the wrongs she has committed against you and your children. But if she’s merely tossed aside (or been tossed aside by) another man and is turning to you and your children out of loneliness and/or selfishness, then you are not obligated to expose yourself and your children to further emotional damage. The only way to assess her dispositions and willingness to work to repair your family is to insist on marriage counseling for the two of you, family counseling for your family, and individual counseling for her. If she can afford to do so, it would not be unjust to expect her to pay the bills for such counseling. A willingness to both go to counseling and pay the expenses to do so (assuming she can manage that financially) would be a good sign that reconciliation is possible. For more assistance, I recommend contact the Pastoral Solutions Institute, a Catholic counseling apostolate.