Am I obliged to Keep Promises?

[LilyM]

It doesn’t sound like the OP’s promise was to God, but rather to their cousin.

In such a case, certainly we should try our best to keep the promise. I like the suggestion of praying the prayer first thing each morning when you wake up.

Another alternative of mine (having a somewhat relaxed attitude to novenas) is if I miss a day I make up for it by praying the novena prayer twice the next day. As long as nine prayers are said over nine days, the details don’t matter.

In fact, the 15 prayers of St Bridget (meant to be said each day over a year) have guidelines going with them that specify that as long as the right total number of prayers are said during the 365 days it doesn’t matter if you skip days and double up or whatnot.

 

[AndyF]

Angel7:

Promises are to be avoided. Having said that some saints have made promises in prayers, but they kept them.

I think one would be expected to try harder if he did promise. But if he finds out he can’t follow through, he could apologize and this time don’t make any more. He should mention it again at confession to reaffirm his commitment and sorrow.

Andy

 

[jmcrae]

It doesn’t sound like the OP’s promise was to God, but rather to their cousin.

In such a case, certainly we should try our best to keep the promise. I like the suggestion of praying the prayer first thing each morning when you wake up.

Another alternative of mine (having a somewhat relaxed attitude to novenas) is if I miss a day I make up for it by praying the novena prayer twice the next day. As long as nine prayers are said over nine days, the details don’t matter.

In fact, the 15 prayers of St Bridget (meant to be said each day over a year) have guidelines going with them that specify that as long as the right total number of prayers are said during the 365 days it doesn’t matter if you skip days and double up or whatnot.

Right. God isn’t checking up on you to see if you did it “perfectly.” He answers our prayers, no matter how imperfectly we pray them.

 

[jmcrae]

Really? That is what your supposed to do?
I just kept starting over.

That would take forever, I think, especially if you are not used to making a Novena, since you will always lose track or get distracted at some point during the nine days. You have to learn how to forgive yourself and carry on from where you left off.

So when you make a promise there is no out of it?

That’s what it means, to make a promise. Let your “yes” mean “yes” and let your “no” mean “no.” Never make a promise that you don’t know how to keep, or don’t mean to keep.

Does it depend on who the Promise is To? One night, when I was praying I said I would “Offer my self and my sacrifices, in repartition to The offenses committed against The Lord, In The Blessed Sacrament, The Holy Eucharist.”

So does this mean I am obliged to do whatever possible for this Cause?

Since you made the promise, you must do your best to fulfill it.

Do you keep promises where you do not know what you are getting into?

You should not make a promise, in the first place, if you don’t know what you are getting into. If you don’t understand what’s going on, the best thing is to stay quiet and don’t make any promises that you don’t understand the meaning of.

Can A promise be made up in any other way?

You have to go back to the person that you made the promise to, and let them know that you are not capable of doing what you had promised to do, and ask them how you can make it up to them.

What if you break a Promise?

Then you get a Bad Reputation as a Person who Cannot Be Trusted to mean what he says, or even to understand the meaning of what he is saying. In the future, people will take you a lot less seriously.

 

[Angel7]

If I made a Promise to God. then realize I can’t keep it. what do I do?

 

[Angel7]

That would take forever, I think, especially if you are not used to making a Novena, since you will always lose track or get distracted at some point during the nine days. You have to learn how to forgive yourself and carry on from where you left off.

That’s what it means, to make a promise. Let your “yes” mean “yes” and let your “no” mean “no.” Never make a promise that you don’t know how to keep, or don’t mean to keep.

Since you made the promise, you must do your best to fulfill it.

You should not make a promise, in the first place, if you don’t know what you are getting into. If you don’t understand what’s going on, the best thing is to stay quiet and don’t make any promises that you don’t understand the meaning of.

You have to go back to the person that you made the promise to, and let them know that you are not capable of doing what you had promised to do, and ask them how you can make it up to them.

Then you get a Bad Reputation as a Person who Cannot Be Trusted to mean what he says, or even to understand the meaning of what he is saying. In the future, people will take you a lot less seriously.

Is breaking a promise, Vow, Oath, Or A Sacrifice (say you break your Penance durin Lent or Fridays) a mortal sin?
What about Promises, Vows, Sacrifices, Oaths, Or Penance’s that you promised to GOD.

this is really off topic, but I feel that I am in a state of Mortal Sin, I can only go to Confession during The Holy Season of Lent, I am having trouble trying to imagine confessing my sins, I feel Discouraged, and alot of this is just piling up on me.

 

[LilyM]

Is breaking a promise, Vow, Oath, Or A Sacrifice (say you break your Penance durin Lent or Fridays) a mortal sin?
What about Promises, Vows, Sacrifices, Oaths, Or Penance’s that you promised to GOD.

this is really off topic, but I feel that I am in a state of Mortal Sin, I can only go to Confession during The Holy Season of Lent, I am having trouble trying to imagine confessing my sins, I feel Discouraged, and alot of this is just piling up on me.

Why can you not get to Confession before Lent? If you literally CANNOT go, don’t worry about it, tell God you’re sorry for your sins and will confess as soon as you can. Have you been to confession before or would it be your first confession?

My advice would be if you’re nervous for any reason - pray for strength firstly. Remember Jesus WANTS you to confess, so He can help make it easier. Then simply TELL the priest when you go into the confessional that you’re very nervous. You aren’t the only nervous penitent the priest will have encountered, so trust him to help you through it too.

Now to sin mortally you have to firstly know that what you’re doing is a grave sin, at the time you commit the sin. As of now you may have knowledge, it’s a fairly safe bet you didn’t in the past. I’d say don’t worry about past promises you may have broken, and resolve from now on to keep as many of your promises as you can.

Not all promises are created equal, so not all are matters for grave sin - but in most cases I’d say failing to keep promises you’ve made to God would be a grave sin. Promises to other people are much less likely to constitute grave matter.

Things like breaking penances are a different issue. In the US the only obligation on Fridays is to do SOME kind of penitential act - which can be extra prayer, charitable work or something. That being the case, there’s no need to promise to do any particular type of penance, it’s up to you to choose what you want to do on any given Friday. So if you did NOTHING there’d be sin - I’ve been told it’s venial rather than grave sin.

Then you have to freely choose to do the sin. If you promise to visit your friend, but an unexpected and uncontrollable circumstance comes up to prevent you, there’s no sin. Say the only way to see her is to borrow your mum’s car and she refuses to lend it to you, or you get into an accident on the way, or you have another prior engagement that you’d forgotten, then there’s no sin.

Why do you feel discouraged about this issue? It seems simple enough to avoid troubles with it. Firstly, get out of the habit of making promises that you don’t have to make. Then only make promises that you’re fairly sure you can keep. If you feel you might not be able, be honest about it, and rather than promising anything, just say ‘I will if I can’. ESPECIALLY to God. If you do promise for any reason, and can keep the promise but deliberately choose not to keep the promise, go to confession.

If you know you won’t be able to do something you’ve promised, and it’s a promise to God, or a penance imposed on you in confession, talk to your priest about it. If it’s a promise to another person, talk to the person about it. Remember if the one to whom you promised (or a priest in the place of God) releases you from your promise, then there’s no sin involved.