Am i on the right track? (a 17-year-old lady's confession)

[miam]

According to a saint, ‘It is impossible for one bound with human affection to have intimate union with God’. What kind of intimacy being referred? Two years ago, I felt something that I could hardly explain. It was a joy that even my heart cannot afford to carry. Yes, it was just a feeling yet a feeling of extreme attraction to Jesus. I don’t know if it was the time I felt that I was called. I don’t know either if it was just a normal feeling that any young woman would feel. All i knew was that I was happy and that I want to dedicate my whole life to Him.

Last year I graduated in high school with the fear that I might lose my gift(as they say, calling is a gift). I told Him many times in my prayers that I would never commit myself to someone else, that I will be forever His little bride.

But things change as time pass by. I keep on telling my elder brothers and sisters about this but they say that before I make a decision in my life, I have to first try the other option. I was still very young for it. i still have long way to run. There are guys who were courting me then but I refused. I thought they were just mere temptations. However, I never thought that that I would meet this young fellow. He has been so affectionate with me for so long. By that time, I thought that I must grow. I thought that being with him is an opportunity for me to grow. Gradually, I fell in love with him and we became lovers. My promise to Jesus faded. I feel so guilty of not fulfilling it; however, my heart is leaped with great joy whenever I am with Him in my prayers and in silence. Deep in my heart that I still long for Him. My soul only thirsts for Him. He can give me the joy that my boyfriend could hardly give.

I want to ask this question,
am I on the right track?
Is Jesus still smiling at me by this moment?

 

[christina_kim]

OHHH wow. hmm. I dont know what to say.
because I’m in situation where my boyfriend thinks he wants to become a priest but according to his acts… i really doubt it? but i shouldnt doubt anything like that.

hope you make a right choice. =]

We should always remember that we’re longing toward the eternal happiness… not the short little fuzzy happiness… (I’m telling myself that as i’m telling you, haha=) )

 

[Trishie]

Hello, Miam, thank you for sharing your questions.
I think that we are best to first read the gospels and to note what Jesus says about love. He tells us to love God above all, that this is the greatest commandment.
He said that the second commandment is to love your neighbour as yourself, to love others as ourselves. He spoke of love of God and of others throughout the gospels.

Jesus loves you as much as ever, even though in sleeping with your boyfriend you are actually sinning against Him. This is fornication. So dear one, may I suggest that you go to a priest in Confession, and confess this sin, and then avoid sexual relations until you are some day married, if that is what you decide to do with your life. You can still be friends if you can without succumbing.

I think you have a very good heart, but that you do need to learn more about the truths of the gospels and of our faith.
I’m glad that you love Jesus, and I know He loves you and wants you to be closer to Him, and truer to the needs of your real self, which is, a unique, beautiful child of God.

If you want to be close to Jesus, you will want to understand more about what He teaches and shares with us in the gospels and letters in the bible, and in the Church…and for you to go regularly to the Sacraments.

May God bless you, little sister in Christ, I will keep you in my prayers

Kindly, Trishie

 

[miam]

According to a saint, ‘It is impossible for one bound with human affection to have intimate union with God’. What kind of intimacy being referred? Two years ago, I felt something that I could hardly explain. It was a joy that even my heart cannot afford to carry. Yes, it was just a feeling yet a feeling of extreme attraction to Jesus. I don’t know if it was the time I felt that I was called. I don’t know either if it was just a normal feeling that any young woman would feel. All i knew was that I was happy and that I want to dedicate my whole life to Him.

Last year I graduated in high school with the fear that I might lose my gift(as they say, calling is a gift). I told Him many times in my prayers that I would never commit myself to someone else, that I will be forever His little bride.

But things change as time pass by. I keep on telling my elder brothers and sisters about this but they say that before I make a decision in my life, I have to first try the other option. I was still very young for it. i still have long way to run. There are guys who were courting me then but I refused. I thought they were just mere temptations. However, I never thought that that I would meet this young fellow. He has been so affectionate with me for so long. By that time, I thought that I must grow. I thought that being with him is an opportunity for me to grow. Gradually, I fell in love with him and we became lovers. My promise to Jesus faded. I feel so guilty of not fulfilling it; however, my heart is leaped with great joy whenever I am with Him in my prayers and in silence. Deep in my heart that I still long for Him. My soul only thirsts for Him. He can give me the joy that my boyfriend could hardly give.

I want to ask this question,
am I on the right track?
Is Jesus still smiling at me by this moment?