Am I overreacting?

[s4angel]

I have been trying to figure out all day if I overreacted to my sister last night and I was hoping one of you could give me some insight or how I could handle this better in the future.

Yesterday my sister came over to spend the day with me, We were having a blast when my stepdaughter (I guess it would be my ex stepdaughter but hay she still my kid) showed up with a few bags of toys for my kids. I was so happy because my kids have had almost no toys (see I do take your advice:thumbsup for the last few months. There was a etch-a-scetch at the top of one of the bags. After my stepdaughter left my sister says she wants the etch-a-scetch and starts putting other toys she wants for her boys in her purse. I picked up the toy and put it away as an out of sight out of mind type thing. After she went home I doled out the toys and found a couple of cute outfits for her youngest that I put aside for her. She called me late last night and tells me she wants the etch-a-scetch I told her no that it had been given to one of my girls and they did not have one and that her boy did already have one she became angry a little and said that his was to small and was just a cheap version. after I again told her that this toy had been given to my girl who did not have one, at that point she told me I should switch with her so her son could have the good one.
I was not rude with her at least I don’t think I was but I told her the answer was no, I tried to change the subject but she was very angry and hung up. I have not heard from her all day today. I was just wondering should I have just given her that darn toy? I just got so upset when I felt that she was implying that I should just give her kids the good stuff and let my kids have the second rate stuff. This is not the first time this has happened and in the past I just let her have her way to avoid bad feelings. I just was not willing to take something away from my daughter and trade it for something that might not be a good trade. She does love that toy and has been playing with it most of the day.

 

[1ke]

There is something seriously wrong with your sister.

*Your *stepdaughter brings *your *children gifts and your sister just starts snapping them up and stuffing them in her purse and then demands certain items be given to her?

Uh, no, I don’t think so.

 

[flyingfish]

I don’t think you’re overreacting, and your sister sounds like a very mean-spirited and selfish woman.

The toys were clearly a gift to you, not her. I can’t even imagine how I would have reacted in your place, I probably would have insisted that she leave my house and would not talk to her until she apologized. Then I have no tolerance for this kind of selfishness and abuse.

You were right to stand up for yourself and your children, your sister needs to be reminded that she is not the queen of the universe (though I doubt anything you say can change her, but at least you don’t have to let her walk all over you and your family).

 

[St_Francis]

I was not rude with her at least I don’t think I was but I told her the answer was no, I tried to change the subject but she was very angry and hung up. I have not heard from her all day today. I was just wondering should I have just given her that darn toy? I just got so upset when I felt that she was implying that I should just give her kids the good stuff and let my kids have the second rate stuff. This is not the first time this has happened and in the past I just let her have her way to avoid bad feelings.

1. Just because someone is upset with what you say does not mean that you were rude.
2. Just because someone gets upset or angry does not mean you should give in.

Look at what you wrote: Your stepdaughter brought toys for your children, and your sister starts choosing out what she’s going to take for her children? And you are worried that your saying no will cause bad feelings? She doesn’t seem to be at all concerned about causing bad feelings! So if she takes your completely normal behavior and has bed feelings over it, that is HER problem, and probably her way of bullying people into letting her have her own way.

 

[iluvmybabies]

She kind of reminds me of my sister except my sister doesn’t accept second handmedowns but oh yeah her kids have to have all the greatest things while my kids are supposed to have the lesser stuff!! LOL

It’s ok, just ignore her she’ll get over it… Your sister just needs to have better stuff than you! Just forget about what she did and said and ignore her reaction and just move on…give her a call see if she wants to get together for coffee or a meal out or something and you know how they say erase and new account!! In spanish it sounds better!! LOL

I mean seriously! Look at my situation with my sister- last year for Christmas I sent her kids tons of awesome things, kbtoys was closing down and everything was like 80% off so I did what I could-got in debt even and gave my nephew and niece some great toys…And of course I am the one give more than receive kind of thing, but all I got for my kids were like 10 dollar stuff and I was like it’s cool I knew the kids were going to get whatever stuff, but I looked at their pics OMG I regretted seriously sorry for saying this but I did regret not getting my kids good stuff for them, instead of giving it to my niece and nephew those kids got thousands of dollars worth of stuff from their grandparents-my mother and their mother-my sister!!! I was like WOAH! But hey I say the more the merrier and good for them you know?! This year though, I am thinking since we have had a tough year financially that whatever I can afford the littlelest things the better for everyone…Because it’s not fair that I drain myself financially just so that others can have a lot more from themselves you know?! Sounds greedy but I think I will try to pay my bills more this year than spend money I don’t even have!! LOL

As for the OP and her sister, like I said dear, just move on and forget about her actions, you just keep your kid’s stuff and if she wants a better one tell her to go buy one! that’s what my sister does!! LOL But don’t be rude to her, remember she’s your sister and I know she loves you very much! Take care, GOD bless and hope you have a great day! And hope you and your sister get to talk soon!!

 

[Mary_Gail_36]

We were having a blast when my stepdaughter (I guess it would be my ex stepdaughter but hay she still my kid) showed up with a few bags of toys for my kids. I was so happy because my kids have had almost no toys

It’s your child’s toy. Your sister had no business taking it.

 

[jwashu]

There is something seriously wrong with your sister.

*Your *stepdaughter brings *your *children gifts and your sister just starts snapping them up and stuffing them in her purse and then demands certain items be given to her?

Uh, no, I don’t think so.

This is exactly what I was going to say… you aren’t overreacting at all.