Am I responsible for bringing one's sin to one's attention?

[seeker_of_God]

If I am aware that someone (a Catholic) is sinning, should I let them know? How can I do so without judging them or seeming like I’m accusing them? It seems like a fine line.

For instance, I have a friend who claims to be Catholic, but is openly gay, and is pro-choice. I had never brought the issue up with him, but I know it is a sore subject, because he said he flipped out on someone once for asking him how he was Catholic if he is gay. He thinks the Church’s position on this is a man-made law.

He also got rather heated when I once said the Church’s position is pro-life. He said he disagreed, and I brought up how the Church cannot be in error on matters of faith and morals. He stormed off.

It’s times like this when I wonder whether I should keep this to myself, or whether I need to bring it up. And if I do bring it up, how I can do so without them thinking I’m judging them as being sinful, evil, etc.

 

[Caesar517]

There is a difference between judging someone’s actions or beliefs and judging their soul.

I think this is something you have to discuss with him. He is a heretic and is causing scandal. It sounds like he doesn’t know very much about the Catholic faith. Perhaps that can be corrected. It also sounds like he has a bad temper that could get in the way of him questioning his own views. He soul is in serious danger, especially if he is receiving Communion. As his friend, you should at least continue to try to explain the views of the Catholic Church, even if he doesn’t want to hear it.

You could try putting forth a challenge: ask him to study the teachings of the Cathlic Church with you in more detail. If his views are right, and he is Catholic, he shouldn’t have anything to lose.

 

[Tic_Toc]

Okay, well, by openly gay, do you mean he has gay sex? Because, it’s totally cool for him to say he’s oriented homosexually–but, the church just isn’t too fond of gay sex.

Anyway, the pro-choice thing is different. I mean, you can tell him that the church is pro-life, and you can tell him that his stance is not in agreement with the church’s, but, you can’t change what he believes. After you tell the person, pretty much all you can do is pray, I guess. You can’t force him to do anything.

 

[seeker_of_God]

Okay, well, by openly gay, do you mean he has gay sex? Because, it’s totally cool for him to say he’s oriented homosexually–but, the church just isn’t too fond of gay sex.

yes, reportedly (according to him), he does. People thought he did it for attention for a while, but I’m pretty sure he actually is.

Anyway, the pro-choice thing is different. I mean, you can tell him that the church is pro-life, and you can tell him that his stance is not in agreement with the church’s, but, you can’t change what he believes. After you tell the person, pretty much all you can do is pray, I guess. You can’t force him to do anything.

Yeah I know. I did bring it up once, and mentioned the Church cannot be in error on such things, and he basically said I was being taught wrongly, because that’s not true.

 

[Christy_Beth]

It sounds like your friend doesn’t want to hear the truth. You could look up the verses in the bible that touch on the homosexual part. In one of his letters, Paul wrote that many wouldn’t inherit the kingdom of God. And homosexuals were listed. At least, I think it was Paul. If anyone knows the scripture better than me, I’d appreciate being corrected.

 

[Pray4Life]

This article may help: Fraternal Correction

Practically, your priest would be better help in suggesting how to respond when the topic is brought up by your friend. I don’t envy you the mine field that must be! I’ll pray for both of you.

 

[teachccd]

Everytime your friend sees you he knows your values and your position on certain issues. You’ve opened the door and he closed it. Let God take over and don’t lose your friendship over this. That is what is most important because your examples speak louder than words…God Bless…teachccd

 

[Highwayhound]

If I am aware that someone (a Catholic) is sinning, should I let them know? How can I do so without judging them or seeming like I’m accusing them? It seems like a fine line.

It is a fine line, you are correct.

He also got rather heated when I once said the Church’s position is pro-life. He said he disagreed, and I brought up how the Church cannot be in error on matters of faith and morals. He stormed off.

Does this friend trust you implicitly? Meaning the two of you can talk about any subject openly? If so, a different tact might be to ask questions and listen. Such as, “How did you decided to be pro-choice?” or “Why do you disagree?”. In other words engage this friend for their opinions and thoughts. Bringing up the fact that he is engaged has immoral positions will put him in a defensive posture. He cannot win because you are correct, but that stops any thinking on his part. Asking questions will get him thinking.

It’s times like this when I wonder whether I should keep this to myself, or whether I need to bring it up. And if I do bring it up, how I can do so without them thinking I’m judging them as being sinful, evil, etc.

Bring it up with a spirit of charity towards your friend. Think of how Jesus as he acted in his life.

May God bless you and your friend.

 

[seeker_of_God]

This article may help: Fraternal Correction

Practically, your priest would be better help in suggesting how to respond when the topic is brought up by your friend. I don’t envy you the mine field that must be! I’ll pray for both of you.

Thank you for that article. Yes, it is rather uncomfortable thinking about bringing it up. I’ll have to do my research beforehand.

Thanks for praying for me.

 

[seeker_of_God]

Everytime your friend sees you he knows your values and your position on certain issues. You’ve opened the door and he closed it. Let God take over and don’t lose your friendship over this. That is what is most important because your examples speak louder than words…God Bless…teachccd

No, he doesn’t know my position. I think if he did, things would be much more awkward between us.

 

[seeker_of_God]

Does this friend trust you implicitly? Meaning the two of you can talk about any subject openly? If so, a different tact might be to ask questions and listen. Such as, “How did you decided to be pro-choice?” or “Why do you disagree?”. In other words engage this friend for their opinions and thoughts. Bringing up the fact that he is engaged has immoral positions will put him in a defensive posture. He cannot win because you are correct, but that stops any thinking on his part. Asking questions will get him thinking.

I’m not sure if he trusts me that much. I say friend loosely, I guess. He’s a fraternity brother, but we don’t talk very much personally. Honestly he’s a little intimidating to me because he comes across as arrogant.

But, I like your suggestion, thanks. It seems like a good approach in general.

May God bless you and your friend.

Thanks.