Am I self-loving and indifferent?

[Eucharisted]

I feel like I am self-loving and indifferent. I know we shouldn’t rely on our emotions, but I get a sense that I am self-loving and am indifferent. Maybe it’s my scruples, I don’t know.

I just feel tired of living in this world. I want to go to heaven. But at the same time, I want to suffer and do God’s will, and I want my will to be His Will, I want to sacrifice my will and have His Will. I think I don’t trust God enough, and trust myself too much, which brings me back to self-love and indifference. Am I indifferent to the needs of others and to Jesus for wanting to stop living and just go to Heaven? I know God wants me here, and I want to do His Will, yet at the same time, I long for God. Maybe I’m just too impatent. Or maybe God is calling me to Himself, and I just don’t understand? Am I being called to live heaven now more vigorously?

I’m very confused right now.

 

[AveSantaMaria]

I can’t tell you. Only Christ and Mary can tell you and they seem to talk to you a lot from the posts of yours that I have read. Advice that I, in my ignorance, might give on self-loving and indifference is that you might focus very deeply on others and on Christ. If someone makes a suggestion or expresses a thought, spend a few minutes thinking about it before replying. Pay attention to as much as you can that others do if it is a spiritual matter, make sure know the background context. And look for ways to serve others and to serve God, hidden ways that others can’t see, especially prayer of the Most Holy Rosary and Divine Mercy Chaplet. Self-love is pride, which can be cured by begging daily humility of God. I suffer from self-love myself so I saw daily the **Litany of Humility.

I try to listen to this message by our Blessed Mother every morning to remind me of what it means to serve others and live the Catholic life.

Maybe you might elaborate on why you started to consider the subject of self-love and indifference so someone might be able to undertand more the context of your question.

Don’t be afraid, I’m sure Christ and Mary love you very very much.

*Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with Thee. Blessed art Thou among women and blessed is the fruit of Thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen. *

Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse. Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse. Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse.

For the sake of his sorrowful passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world! For the sake of his sorrowful passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world! For the sake of his sorrowful passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world!

O Mary, conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee!
Sorrowful and Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us!

*Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with Thee. Blessed art Thou among women and blessed is the fruit of Thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen. ***

 

[wina]

I feel like I am self-loving and indifferent. I know we shouldn’t rely on our emotions, but I get a sense that I am self-loving and am indifferent. Maybe it’s my scruples, I don’t know.

I just feel tired of living in this world. I want to go to heaven. But at the same time, I want to suffer and do God’s will, and I want my will to be His Will, I want to sacrifice my will and have His Will. I think I don’t trust God enough, and trust myself too much, which brings me back to self-love and indifference. Am I indifferent to the needs of others and to Jesus for wanting to stop living and just go to Heaven? I know God wants me here, and I want to do His Will, yet at the same time, I long for God. Maybe I’m just too impatent. Or maybe God is calling me to Himself, and I just don’t understand? Am I being called to live heaven now more vigorously?

I’m very confused right now.

That’s exactly what I have been feeling and thinking…lately
Hopefully get the answer…

 

[brigid12]

I feel like I am self-loving and indifferent. I know we shouldn’t rely on our emotions, but I get a sense that I am self-loving and am indifferent. Maybe it’s my scruples, I don’t know.

I just feel tired of living in this world. I want to go to heaven. But at the same time, I want to suffer and do God’s will, and I want my will to be His Will, I want to sacrifice my will and have His Will. I think I don’t trust God enough, and trust myself too much, which brings me back to self-love and indifference. Am I indifferent to the needs of others and to Jesus for wanting to stop living and just go to Heaven? I know God wants me here, and I want to do His Will, yet at the same time, I long for God. Maybe I’m just too impatent. Or maybe God is calling me to Himself, and I just don’t understand? Am I being called to live heaven now more vigorously?

I’m very confused right now.

Eucharisted, from your other posts, I wonder if you are too hard on yourself. Remember that St. Paul also wanted to “throw in the towel” and go to heaven, however he did realize that the Spirit requested of him that he do more evangelization first. The initial feeling of yours and St. Paul’s is what is to be expected when a person has real Christian faith and hope. Christian love/Love and recognition that it is not our own choice but His-The Creator’s, as far as the timing of our “change of venue”, prevents us from acting on this totally normal feeling. Maybe, doing something more to act out your love for your fellow man (we can’t really love God, whom we can’t see, unless we can love our fellow man, whom we can see) might help? .

Just :twocents:, IMHO.

 

[MarieVeronica]

Reading this post was like looking into a mirror. Eucharisted… I think this feeling is probably more common than any of us realizes.

Thank the Good Lord… there are so many intelligent people on this forum to help us (who feel this way) with the answers.

I will keep looking back at this. Because I need to know, too. You are in my prayers. God bless.

MV

 

[Monica4316]

Am I indifferent to the needs of others and to Jesus for wanting to stop living and just go to Heaven?

I also feel this way sometimes… sometimes I just feel tired of this world and want to go to Heaven. I think in all things we should just submit to God’s will. if we are living on earth now, that means this is where God wants us at this moment, and we should use this as an opportunity to love Him. In whatever way we can now. Once I was thinking how I’d rather just go to heaven, and then saw a crowd of people and thought, what if there are people there who are on the path to hell… so it is important for us to serve God now for the sake of our brothers and sisters and to show God’s love to everyone, and help bring others into heaven with us not only that, but we are not yet perfectly sanctified and God is giving us an opportunity to learn to love Him more…once we die, we no longer have this opportunity for sanctification except in purgatory, but it’s much more painful than earth.

*Every moment on earth is precious because it’s an opportunity to advance in holiness. *

Whatever you are feeling, offer it to God and try to serve Him right where you are in whatever ways you presently can… if you see someone in need, show them His love, because we’re all pilgrims in this world in need of God.

And finally, don’t be so hard on yourself!! it is not bad to long for God, in fact this is a grace that many people PRAY for. Don’t worry and simply trust Him.

Blessings